blinkers!

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Let the ritual begin 😂😂

i was laughing at this by @thehausghosts for like 5 min so here are some more driving hcs

  • bitty: good country/town and highway driver. likes to drive big cars/trucks bc that’s how he learned and bc he feels safe in them. passive aggressive. speeds like a motherfucker. he got it from his mom. coach fears for his life whenever he drives with either of them. passive aggressive. if you tailgate him, he will slow down to 15 under the speed limit and watch your frustration in his rear view mirror and laugh.
  • holster: decent driver, but loud. blasts the radio and sings/screams along. hates driving if there’s no aux cord. yells and rants when people do things he doesn’t like. the worst person to be with in traffic bc all he does is bitch about the traffic. uses his horn a lot. get’s lost a lot. 
  • ransom: defensive driver. always uses his blinker. hates when people don’t use their blinkers. never goes more than 10 over the speed limit bc getting pulled over makes him nervous. likes listening to podcasts/radio shows/the news while he drives. is somehow good at driving when there’s a lot going on in the car around him. not great at directions so he always ends up doing a lot of harsh fast turns bc o shit that’s my turn isn’t it 800 feet sure goes by quick
  • shitty: the fucking worst. speed limits are suggestions. stop signs don’t matter when there are no other cars around. yellow light means speed up. sits in the middle of the intersection for left turn yield on green. messes with the radio an unsafe amount. drives with the windows down no matter the weather. road rage but not like violent road rage, just a lot of yelling. his car smells like weed. 
  • lardo: tries to be a defensive driver, but gets annoyed easily. is good at speeding, but only does it when she’s 100% sure she won’t get caught. always listens to music. likes long drives as long as she’s the one driving bc you can just check out for hours bc you’re focusing on driving and not the rest of the world. her car is a mcfucking mess, not trash, just a lot of random shit. has a blanket in there, a sweatshirt, a few pairs of sweatpants, random books, empty water bottles, like 5 pairs of sunglasses, a grocery store bag of lollipops, an empty cooler, a posterboard, etc
  • nursey: has never been behind the wheel of a car in his life and isn’t planning on changing that
  • dex: also good at driving when there is chaos in the car, likes driving with other people. listens to the radio or cds. good at small town driving and highway driving, but wouldn’t city drive if you paid him. would probs be alright at it tho bc he tends to be a more aggressive than defensive driver. doesn’t speed a ton. slows n goes stop signs. can drive anything, no matter the size or condition of the car. does u turns anywhere. no cars? it’s ok to make a u turn. also ok to make a k turn if you have to. 
  • chowder: always lets people merge/make left hand turns. always yields to pedestrians. slows down for yellow lights. loves highway driving. can drive anywhere, but would prefer not to drive if it’s not the highway because people are assholes and the road is a scary place. gets angry when people do stupid things, mutters under his breath a lot. 

Im 3000% here for grease monkey Tony tho

• always has a lil grime under his fingernails bc oil and grease gets EVERYWHERE and takes forever to get rid of

• has like 2 shirts and a pair of jeans reserved for when he tinkers with tech that are just /saturated/ with grease and are torn and ripped and Pepper has tried to throw them away multiple times but the clothes magically reappear the next time Tony is in the shop

• he still manages to get at least one high dollar suit irreparably stained every year like clockwork

• little bruises and cuts on his knuckles and hands and forearms bc being elbow deep in an engine always results in some sort of superficial injury

• hates the ideal of someone else working on his cars. Even a simple oil change or replacing a battery or spark plugs

• “where is the 3/8 socket??? I literally just put it down! What the fuck?!”

• once asked Pepper to order some blinker fluid for his Spyder (trust me, it’s a real joke aimed at people who aren’t familiar with cars)

• has done on-the-fly repairs and diagnosis to vehicles belonging to reporters and his fans. “Wait a sec. Sounds like your car is missing on a cylinder. Do you mind if I take a look?” And just pops the hood or crawls under the vehicle and goes to town

• curses at vehicles or equipment then immediately apologizes

As thousands blockade airports and fill up city streets, a new generation of amateur Kremlinologists is coming forward with its hastily assembled theories, assembled from bureaucratic signifiers, to say that by trying to stop the harm he’s actually doing, all we’ve done is play into his tiny, tiny hands. […] What looks like the beginnings of a breakdown in effective government, or an opportunity, is nothing of the sort. They planned everything, and everything fell into place.

The left is no stranger to this kind of defeatism, and it’s not hard to see why. Capitalism is omnivorous and polymorphously perverse; today’s revolutionary slogans are found on tomorrow’s Coke cans. […] If you look backward from the state of the world today at all the heroic resistance movements that have failed throughout history, it’s easy to think that this was all part of the plan.


Much of this is true, but its effects can be paralyzing. We’ve fucked up so much that it’s made us afraid of victory; faced with an enormous and implacable enemy, there are people who are now convinced that its power is infinite. Whenever it looks like the reactionaries have massively over-reached themselves it’s just part of a larger plan, one that we can’t see. If Steve Bannon’s pants fell down tomorrow and he tottered crying into a muddy pond, there would be someone ready to announce that actually, this made him even more omnipotent than he was before.


[…] It’s almost comforting, in a way, to imagine yourself as a pawn. There’s no moral duty involved: The evil plan is grand and inscrutable; it gives a sense of order in what looks like disintegration, and tells you what your place is in it. But there is a moral duty, and we need to face up to it. And maybe, just maybe, sometimes the people in charge are just as blinkered as we are.

— 

Sam Kriss, “Liberals on the Edge of a Nervous Breakdown” (Feb. 1, 2017).

posting to emphasize the point that although what’s happening is really, really bad, it is harmful to let ourselves believe that the administration is all-knowing and all-powerful, ingenious masters of strategy. they are not. they have weaknesses and they can be fought. do not give up.

Inter-House Friendships #5
  • Ravenclaw: *calmly driving the speed limit and using the blinker and watching for people*
  • Hufflepuff: *observing the scenery and letting hair fly in the wind*
  • Slytherin: *scrolling through phone and reluctantly bobbing head to the music*
  • Gryffindor: *screeching all the lyrics and twerking violently in the backseat*
the types as things they've all said to me

ENFJ: “yeah i’ve take the personality tests a few times and it can never type me, i always get like 50/50 on each of the things, so i’m really balanced; i’m EXXX” (bitch MORE than 2 of you have said this to me, you are all problematic and project those questions onto yourselves you fake ass hoes)
INFJ: “i should start a psychic business and pretend to take people’s fortunes because i’m so good at this.” (this was said after she guessed that her boyfriend would get a 96 on his philosophy exam after he had gotten a 97 on the last one, and was exactly correct. tl;dr every INFJ is a demon)
ESFJ: “i get to take care of you and treat you until you’re better!” said with real tears in his eyes after i had rolled my ankle and it was the size of an actual softball. he held my hand as he said it.
ISFJ: “i’m trying my best!” said very flusteredly (it’s a word, shut up) after we poked fun at the fact that he was still 4 labs behind on homework. he was also on youtube at the time.
ESTJ: “joe hasn’t answered me and we’re leaving for austria for spring break in TWO months and i need a plan for what we’re going to do the first weekend ASAP or i’m going to literally kill him with my bare hands.”
i have no more context to add to this, yall are literally just the most extra people i’ll ever meet.
ISTJ: “i feel like…” and then you proceeded to lie to me because none of you have felt anything, ever.
ESFP: “what’s happening?! should i talk to him?! should i ignore it and be oblivious?! idk what to do im not an intuitive!” said when i was pissed at everybody and he accidentally got the brunt of my rage. you are all pure and naive and just want to have a good time and i respect that; you do you, boo boo the fools, just keep doing you.
ISFP: “i’m about to make a transatlantic flight to austria to instill the fear of god into every one of those girls playing with joe’s heart over there.” said about her little brother while still in her horse riding gear, in between walking from the dinner table to her laptop to watch sherlock and dr. who. im 100% not joking about this, her name is Mary Duran and she paints on the side too.
ESTP: “well, enough of that.” said moments after crying for two minutes, and seconds before throwing a lawn chair across the yard and breaking a window because he didn’t know how else to process his emotions. @everyESTP, pls get help.
ISTP: “HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A FUCKING BLINKER. USE YOUR BLINKER BEFORE I SLIT YOUR THROAT.” (this is literally every time i’m in the car with him, no matter what, no matter how long; tl;dr every one of you shouldn’t drive, ever.)
ENTP: “but was kant really that bad?” said by some hoe in one of my higher level philosophy classes as he introduced us to Irrelevantland™. stick to your memes and stop antagonizing every person you meet you bored ass mfs.
INTP: “the old lady thinks i’m going to fix our neighbor’s AC, which means i have about 45 minutes to get to a town 34 minutes away to see if the guy has one of the car parts i’ve been looking for. it’ll cost about $200-$220, but i gotta take the money out in small increments around town so she doesn’t get suspicious.” said by my best friends dad, in reference to his wife and his unhealthy obsession with fixing up old, unusable cars.
ENTJ: “socrates was probably the dumbest person to ever live, and i wrote an entire 12 page paper on it and got an A.” (i have no more to add to this; you’re all just as bad as the ESTJs and must be stopped.)
INTJ: “that was a good burn. i think i’m going to like you.” said to me after i said something witty and sarcastic to my ENFP best friend. p.s. every INTJ has an XNFP best friend, it’s just a fact, accept it).
ENFP: “hey remember how you’ve been telling me for the past three months that im overcommitting myself and doing too many things? well today after my seventeenth breakdown of the semester so far, i realized that you might be right.” (said by my best friend. not much else to add to this, really; you’re all insane.)
INFP: “my friend brought me a puppy between classes today and it was only the second of four times i cried today.”