I'm kind of in a bad mental state right now, so can I request nurseydex mental hurt/comfort?
Of course! If you ever need to talk, feel free to message me off of annon!
He knows he should answer his phone. He knows that there are hundreds of missed phone calls and messages sitting unanswered, waiting to explode in a violent flash of light when he plugs his cell into the wall. But for now it’s dead, and he can’t make his body move. He had left his last class of the week fifteen minutes after it had started, only stayed long enough to hand in the homework then bolted out the door, as the panic and spiking fear was clawing its way down the back of his neck and reaching around his fluttering heart. He had heard Bitty at the door at four, sounding terrified and flustered, demanding to know why he had missed practice, then Chowder next to Bitty, who pounded on the door and spoke frantically about a missing person’s report, then finally Ransom who tried to bargain with and comfort him, telling him about all of his mental breakdowns over exams, assignment, existentialism. None of it helped him move.
He had a routine for when this happened, when the anxiety got out of control. There was a large blanket filled with dried beans and fluff that he would huddle under and allow the weight and darkness to press into him. He turned off all of the lights, shut the blinds, turned on the white noise machine to full volume and didn’t move until his heart stopped hammering. The only problem was that once he was sated by the warm, pressing darkness, it was a struggle to leave. Because the manic anxiety was always followed by an overwhelming depression, so blinding that he can’t find any reason to move, not even if the world was falling apart. He doesn’t move when he hears Dex screaming on the other end of the door, hears Lardo arguing with him, attracting an audience, Dex screaming at the audience, then finally Lardo threatening the RA until the girl reluctantly opens the door for them. He can hear them in the room but can’t feel them, he hears Lardo turning on lights, he hears Dex turning off the blinding noise, pulling the warm, pressing darkness off of him and pulling him up off the ground and onto the bed. He hears Dex telling Lardo that he has it, she should go. Then Dex is pushing apple juice into his hands and disappearing into the bathroom, turning on the shower and when he hasn’t touched the juice Dex is maneuvering the cup to his lips. Then he’s pulling the sweat logged clothes off of Nursey’s skin, pulling off his own and helping him into the shower. There is barely enough room for them both to stand under the spray but Dex is massaging vanilla bubbles into his skin and mumbling about his day, telling Nursey about his newest coding project and the barista at Annie’s who keeps hitting on him even though he is clearly not interested. He stops for a moment after the consciousness starts to spill back into Nursey’s eye, searching his face before whispering, “This is weird right? But we’re best friends and you need me, it’s not that weird.”
Later when they sit side by side, eating grilled cheese and spaghettios and fresh baked cookies, and Nursey is clutching Dex’s hand between them, Nursey whispers, “Thank you.” And Dex is rubbing circles into the back of his hand. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, I l-“