bless-your-heart

Kentucky Gothic

•There is no blue grass here.  The grass is green.  Grass is always green.  Even the bluegrass is green.  We don’t know why.


•The sun shines bright on our old Kentucky home.  The rain pummels it five minutes later.  The sun comes out even sooner.  A tornado can be seen from the distance.  It’s practically picnic weather.


•Look out at the corn field; now it is a strip mall.  The fields get smaller and smaller.  Farmers are baffled.  Who keeps planting all of these stores?  Everyone blames Indiana.


•Sinkholes are everywhere.  The house next door is gone now.   Only a hole remains.  Bless their heart.  They had it coming.


•They say Frankfort is the capital.  Nobody has ever seen Frankfort.  It is so small.  We have lost Frankfort.  We have found the Confederate capital, Bowling Green.  It wasn’t hard to find; they never shut up about being the Confederate capital.


•It is impossible to see anything. Is that a giant fog? No, it is cigarette smoke. I thought this was a no smoking establishment. Where’s the sign? Oh wait, I can’t see it. Maybe it was never there. Only the smoke remains.


•That is not how you pronounce Versailles.  Nobody knows how to pronounce Versailles in Kentucky. They are forever cursed to pronounce it as “ver-sales”.  Bless their hearts.


•I have been in Lexington for a week.  I am still in Lexington.  I thought I left yesterday.  A month has passed.  There is no end to this place.  A horse prances in the distance, signalling my doom.  I am trapped here for eternity.


•I don’t know where Louisville ends and Jeffersonville begins.  Am I in Kentucky?  Am I in Indiana?  Everyone sounds the same.  I can’t tell.  I sip my sweet tea in agony.  This isn’t sweet tea.  This is a mint julep.  I cry into the glass.  Bless my heart.  

LMFAO

I just found anon hate in my inbox that is aimed at Team Delusional and technically I’m not even Team D. I just support TD and mostly interact with TD people on here. Wrong account, dude. Someone needs to work on their reading comprehension skills. 

This is just precious. 

Unfortunately, hate anon, your message was of no actual substance, is incorrectly aimed, and thus presents no opportunities for actual discourse, so I can only conclude that you’re doing this for attention for whatever shit you’re on about that you clearly just want to pat yourself on the back for. Therefore, I won’t be publishing said shit, nor will I be putting it in the tag so you can spread your attitude to others who, quite frankly, don’t need to hear it right now. 

Come off anon, friendo, and let’s talk if you’ve actually got a problem with me. 

Originally posted by the-walking-fangirll

As a fairly recent transplant to the South, I’ve got to say that my very favorite thing about southern living is the phrase “Bless your heart.” It took me awhile to catch on to the many subtle and nuanced uses of the phrase, but it’s just fantastic. It’s an insult in sheep’s clothing, a phrase that’s as innocuous as “Oh honey, no,” at its mildest, but can run all the way to “fuck off and die,” modulated only by context and tone of voice.

It’s great on the internet, too. When I’m deep in an argument and my opponent says something particularly asinine, it is incredibly satisfying to be able to bless their heart before dismantling their point. There’s a lot I’m not going to miss at all when I finally escape back northward, but the pie and the heart-blessing will both be things I sorely miss. 

thy-lla  asked:

im about 3/4ths of the way through chapter 10 of sha ka ree and. i thought you were evil before but POOR BABY SPOCK WHY MUST YOU HURT HIMM. AAAAAAAAAAaAAAAAAAAAAA i would have left this on ur ao3 but that requires finishing the chapter and im not ready. not fucking ready.

:D :D :D :D :D I love it when people call me evil! :D <3 BUT truly I am so sorry for hurting him!!!! I know I put Jim through the grinder physically in this fic, but I had to balance out his injuries with a little pain on Spock’s end, too, and what better pain than the emotional variety? XD <3 

I promise the pain doesn’t last forever!!! And I’m THRILLED that you had to actually stop halfway through? What a blessing. Thank you for telling me so. <3 Hahahah!

anonymous asked:

Aang/Katara or Zuko/Katara?

It’s funny, I actually liked Aang/Katara when I watched the first time but was really miffed by the ending bc it felt like she was his prize at the end of the story and I felt that it never really moved beyond sisterly love on her side. When I rewatched I was all about Zuko/Katara - I love their parallel narratives and the way they change over time and the way their stories and personalities intersect. I’m not sore about the ending though - there’s so much for them in canon I can just rewrite the ending in my head (and there’s plenty of fic) and I’ve got nothing against Aang at all and love him dearly. 

SEND ME TWO SHIPS AND I’LL TELL YOU WHICH ONE I PREFER.

anonymous asked:

(this is probably way too late but whatever) for the frozen/sauron crossover: i think some company is overdue, i've started talking to the people on the walls!!! (hang in there maedhros) also your art is great and i love you bye

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Anon you are a top lad and I give you a ten out of ten for your musical achivements! Would have given you 12 but I could not find the proper reaction image.

Thank you very much anon! I love you too!