bleach is kinda part of it

Bleach Characters as Tumblr Memes


As requested by anon. :)


I love meme lists. So here is the ultimate (?) meme list! Which actual memes are Bleach characters?


1. The “Surprise bitch” meme: Aizen

This is a meme about someone who you think is dead and gone, but then that person shows up in dramatic and snarky fashion. Or, in the case of Aizen, somebody you thought was in prison, who then just keeps showing up.

Aizen: Although it should not have been a surprise, since I planned this all along. From the day that I…

Ichigo: EVERYBODY GET DOWN - HE’S ABOUT TO MONOLOGUE!!

Aizen: …

Aizen: Rude.


2. The “Quit telling everyone I’m dead” meme: Grimmjow

This is similar to the last meme, only instead of the presumed dead person being cool and in charge, this presumed dead-person just shouts off-stage that he’s not actually dead. That sounds like Grimmjow to me.

Ichigo: And in the end, he fought alongside us. That is why it is so sad that we lost him.

Grimmjow: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I’M DEAD

Ichigo: Sometimes I can still hear his voice.


3. “Dat boi” meme: Orihime

Okay, full confession: I don’t understand the “dat boi” meme. It’s just a unicycling frog, right? And then people write “here comes dat boi” “oh shit whaddup.” I even looked it up. And that is the only explanation I got. Why does this frog ride a unicycle? Where is he going? I don’t get it at all. So anyway, then I was wondering - who in Bleach likes absurdist humor that other people don’t understand? And that would be Orihime, of course.

Tatsuki: So…the unicycling frog is fighting the giant robot?

Orihime: They’re on the same side!

Tatsuki: Of course. That makes way more sense.

Orihime: I know!


4. “Bode”: Yoruichi

This is another absurdist meme. You post pictures of cats with the word “bode” written over the cat. It apparently came to someone in a dream. This one is good for Yoruichi because (a) cats and (b) it messes with people.

Ichigo: WHY DOES SHE KEEP SENDING ME THESE PHOTOS??

Ichigo: I DON’T UNDERSTAND

Yoruichi: Bode.

Ichigo: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???


5. The “lost in a crowd” meme: Hitsugaya

This one is all about losing someone in a crowd and then shouting something significant to find them. Hitsugaya is short, and hence prone to lose people in crowds. Plus, he’s really good at shouting.

Hitsugaya: Hey! I’m an adult now sometimes!

Rukia: Wait…you’re an adult now?

Matsumoto: There she is!

Hitsugaya: THAT’S NOT EVEN HOW THIS MEME WORKS


6. The self-care meme: Kira

This is a meme where you define self-care as something impossible and/or ridiculous (self-care is tying balloons to your eyebrows and then going through a car wash). That feels Kira-like to me.

Kira: Self-care is drinking sake until you cry.

Hisagi: …

Hisagi: That’s less a hilarious meme and more a cry for help, dude.

Kira: That line is so hard to navigate.


7.The “you tried” gold star: Mask de Masculine

‘Cause he gave one to Rose, remember? With that star-shaped wound right through Rose’s torso? 

Rose: …that’s not funny.

Mask: I think it’s pretty funny.


8. The “15 minutes late with Starbucks” meme: Unohana

I’m not saying Squad 4 is often late with the healing…but Squad 4 is often late with the healing. And if anyone’s gonna stroll in fifteen minutes late with Starbucks, it’s Unohana. Nor will anyone say anything.

Unohana: I am here.

Shinji: That’s cool but most of us are already dead.

Unohana: Good thing I only brought one cup.


9. The “color of the sky” meme: Yhwach

The original “color of the sky” post was Aizen: sure the pictures are cool or whatever, but it’s too long. Way WAY WAY too long. Much like Aizen’s monologues. Then the meme came along, where you take the “color of the sky” post, truncate it, and had some sort of surprise at the end. And sure there’s relief that it doesn’t go on for so long, but it’s also not as cool as the original. Kinda reminds me of Yhwach, for some reason. *coughs*

Yhwach: Sometimes I just don’t feel appreciated.


10. The “shoving breadsticks in purse” meme: Riruka

You’re on a date. The date says something bad. You shove breadsticks in your purse as you leave the restaurant. So this meme goes. It sounded kinda like Riruka to me.

Riruka: So what’s more important - being cute or something else?

Date: Uh…something else?

Riruka: [shoving breadsticks angrily into her purse] I have to go


11. The “hoe don’t do it” meme: Ishida and Ichigo

For the first part of Bleach, it was always Ishida saying “Hoe don’t do it” and Ichigo doing it. Then at the end, it switched and Ishida was the one doing things while Ichigo said “Hoe don’t do it.” Symmetry. It’s what makes Bleach what it is.

Ichigo: And that’s why we’re basically the same person.

Ishida: Oh god no.


12. The “looks at smudged writing on hand” meme: Ichigo

Not because he doesn’t care. He’s just…really bad at names.

Ichigo: Wow! Great job helping defeat the Quincy, Inoue, Chad, and…

Ichigo: [looks at smudged writing on hand]

Ichigo: Ugly Itching?

Ishida: YOU KNOW WHAT MY NAME IS 


14. The  “snail” meme: Chad

Wherein you take various words and replace the first consonant with “sn” to create a snail version. Snurch = snail church, snall = snail mall, etc. I feel like Chad would be on board with this mostly because he respects snail culture, as he respects all animals.

Chad: And this is the “snouse” (snail house) I built for my new “snuddies” (snail buddies) with their “snard” (snail yard) and their “snailbox” (mailbox).

Ichigo: …

Chad: what?


15. “Bitch, where?” meme: Charlotte

This is a meme about someone calling you ugly, and you responding, “Bitch, where?” That sounds like Charolotte to me.

Charlotte: And that shinigami was all, “You ugly” and I was all, “Bitch, where?”

Yumichika: You’re ugly under the makeup too, though.

Charlotte: Bitch, where?

Yumichika: …I walked right into that one.


16. Kinkshaming meme: Kensei

I just feel like Kensei must spend a lot of time kinkshaming his fellow visored.

Shinji: I love being upside down!

Love: Personally I think nothing can top being a superhero.

Rose: Unless it’s a long, deep talk with your guitar.

Hiyori: Whatever. As if that’s as good as hitting people in the face with your shoes.

Mashiro: I prefer hitting them in the face with a super kick!

Lisa: Or ignoring them because you are too busy reading porn.

Kensei: …I’m gonna have to kinkshame you all.

3

What if Kenpachi found three pink haired children instead of one? I bet he would’ve name them Yachiru, Retsu and DOShana. No? Okay.

This fan art is dedicated to the anon who sent me that ask. I’m fashionably late forever.

I’m so sorry it took me weeks to reply to this anon! I hope you didn’t think I ignored you or anything, it’s just that I’ve become busy lately. Anyway, thank you so much for the kind words! I didn’t really expect anyone would idolize me since I’m lame and quiet. I just want you to know that it made me ecstatic and it means a lot to me. I sincerely thank you and everyone who likes my works ;-;

Edit: I did a colored version lamaoh.

medium.com
What I Learned From Dating Women Who Have Been Raped
By Emma Lindsay

I don’t know how I expected a rape victim to act, but I didn’t expect her to be so funny. Or to be punk, in this kinda sexy bleached blonde but kind of too lazy to really care sort of way. Or to be so up front.

“I may be a lesbian because of what happened to me, I don’t know. It doesn’t really matter at this point.”

I guess, maybe in some way, I didn’t expect her to be so over it. Part of me, unconsciously, believed people who had been raped were irrecoverably broken, and she wasn’t. I had an ex boyfriend who said he thought rapists should be subjected to capital punishment, which I suppose is a more extreme articulation of that unconscious belief. Once a woman has been raped, she has been destroyed.

People aren’t destroyed through being raped though. They suffer immensely, but they are just as much themselves after the rape as before.

Q&A with Duncan Rouleau

On Sunday, September 25th I was lucky enough to attend London Ontario Comic Con, where the people at Man of Action Entertainment had some tables set up! I asked Duncan Rouleau some questions (raw audio recordings) after he said it was alright to record and share the answers.

I’ve shuffled the order around so similar answers will be together.

The full transcript (minus any filler words) is here. Thanks to my good friend and plant @cloversion for helping me with the transcript!

Both M.Rex and Generator Rex had the theme “How do you raise somebody?” with “What you put in is what you get out” as part of it.

Even though Rex can’t be with his family of origin, he has a new/adopted family at Providence with Six as his dad, Holiday as his mom, and Bobo as his “evil Jiminy Cricket” weird uncle/drinking buddy.

Duncan thinks that they should’ve put LGBT+ themes in the show from the very first season, especially for a character like Rex where a lot of him was about identity. If they ever rebooted it, they’d put more LGBT+ representation in the show. [So…. absolutely implying Rex is LGBT+ right.]

Keep reading

On Arc-V colorblindness and why people can’t tell Yuu counterparts apart?

Seeing how many times this topic was discussed, I decided to make a lenghty post, ultimately explaining that Arc-V mystery.

Q. Why no one notice that Yuya, Yuto, Yugo and Yuri, as well as Yuzu and Serena, are different people, despite them having different hair color and eye color?

A. They actually don’t have different hair and eye color.

Wait, what?..

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

You do realize that the majority of the time you're actually making their skintones DARKER than they are in REAL LIFE, right? Colorism doesn't only go in one direction. Calling them unattractive or describing them as "gross" because they're pale is just as rude and discriminatory. Most of the members are NATURALLY EXTREMELY PALE and it isn't always a result of intentional photo altering. Jfc. Stop trying to fit them into your definition of beauty.

I knew I’d get a message like this sooner or later even before I created the blog, so I’ve prepared a mental reply that I’ll write out. And wow, this entire ask was a mess from the second sentence onward. I’ll make the answer to this nice and long so other idiots won’t ask me the same thing because this topic is something I won’t stay quiet nor be nice about.

WARNING: Super long post ahead. I’m really pissed.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Would you please do A-Z for Renji when you have time?

Sure thing!

Renji:

  • A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex) Renji’s a total sweetheart when it comes to caring for his s/o. He’ll cradle you afterwards and murmur sweet things in your ear

  • B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) His favorite body part of his is his hair. He’s quite proud of it, working hard to keep it maintained an’ everything. On you, he loves your eyes, and how they sparkle when you’re happy.

  • C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person) His cum is milky white, with a slight tang to it (pineapple flavored anyone??). He loves to release on your belly, watching it trickle down your skin.

  • D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) He accidentally walked in on Yumichika going down on a partner and enjoyed it

  • E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) He tries!! Renji might not always know what he’s doing, but he’ll ask you and try to cater to your needs to the best of his ability
  • 
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual) Total 69er. He loves getting you off with his tongue, but it just makes it so much better if you’re contributing as well. 

  • G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc) I can see him being a bit more silly the more comfortable you get with each other. He’ll begin to tease you, charming his way to bed.

  • H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.) omg, yesss. You can bet your ass he’s fiery red down there as well

  • I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) He’s secretly a very romantic person. He loves to make you feel special and cherished

  • J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon) Renji masturbates more than he cares to admit. He insists he can’t help it, inspiration just floods his mind. 
  • 
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks) Pussy worship and light bondage… oh, and hair pulling
 (on him)
  • L = Location (Favourite places to do the do) Anywhere he and his s/o are up for. If you’re both feeling it, more often than not, you’re doing it.
  • 
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going) Pretty much anything can turn him on. You bending over to get something.. perhaps the end of your shirt lifts up and exposes your bare skin
? Immediate reaction.
  • N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) Knowing you’re not enjoying yourself is a complete turn off for him. He wants to know that whatever you are doing together you like

  • O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) He loves when you both can pleasure each other at the same time. 
  • P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) Renji has a good balance of both, changing his pace whenever he thinks fit

  • Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.) Renji’s always down for a quickie. Behind a wall, in a closet, you name it
  • 
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.) Renji’s a bit on the shyer side, though always willing to try something out if you suggest it

  • S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…) Usually Renji’ll go for about two rounds before he’s done

  • T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) No toys himself, but he sure does enjoy watching you use one

  • U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) He likes to switch back and forth, between teasing you and romanticizing you to death
  • 
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make) He’s not embarrassed to express how much he likes something, resulting in loud moans

  • W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice) He hates it, but Renji is actually very sensitive. He’ll take whatever you say to him to heart
  • 
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words) Long n’ lean. He likes to keep his hair in check, trimmed and neat

  • Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?) Renji hopes do get down n’ dirty four times a week, at least
  • 
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) Renji’ll fall asleep pretty quickly afterwards, trapping his s/o in his arms.
5

Journey to new hair color

It was definitely definitely supposed to be more purple but uh the purple/blue would not stay so I applied more blue after the first time I washed it

The green isn’t supposed to be there either it’s just on the parts of my hair thay took best to bleach and it kinda fades back to black which uh again not intentional

But it’s cool instead of like a galaxy I look more like a peacock sooo

6

Here’s some pics from Early Morning Dye-a-thin 2017!! Mary and I were texting at 6:30 this morning and were just like fuck it lets get breakfast and then go to bleach town. I liked the blonde a lot and almost stuck with it but in the end it’s blue time.

There’s kind of a gradient effect in the back bcos the roots sucked up the blue dye waaay better than the previously dyed brown parts did, I kinda want to go back in and play it up more with some straight midnightblue? /hmm

Today in ‘the kind of shit you realise when you’re having a mind-numbingly boring day at work’:

Kurosaki Ichigo is a fucking shojo hero and not a shonen one

Like ok I’ve been saying jokingly for a while that Bleach was actually originally meant to be a shoujo and it’s just thinly disguised as shounen (because that bridge scene in the SS arc what the fuck), but…. like….. really think about it 

Most shounen heroes are optimistic and bright. That’s their thing.They make friends through their unwavering optimistic attitude and bullshit nakama powers, idk. But Ichigo? He’s a fuckin tsundere who doesn’t like opening up to people and making friends (except ofc he does the latter, but only through beating the shit out of them/getting the shit beat out of him by them first). When was the last time you had a shounen hero as reluctant and tsundere as Ichigo? Usually in shounen, the tsundere is a character archetype assigned to the happy-go-lucky protag’s rival, not the protag himself. Plus, he’s supposed to be good-looking in canon (if Riruka’s reaction in FB is anything to go by), and like lmao once again that’s not a typical shounen protagonist trait. Ichigo isn’t a traditional shounen hero by any stretch of the imagination (mostly Bc as many ppl have pointed out, Bleach is structured more like a monomyth than standard shonen, but I digress).

But take him out of shonen and put him in a shoujo context and Ichigo fits the bill to a T. Good looking? Check. Tragic back story / mother trauma? Check. Stereotypical bad boy image with a heart of gold? Check. Secret dork? Check. Tsundere about expressing himself? Check. Angsty and prone to brooding by himself with all of his problems? Check. Fiercely protective? Check.  Sacrifices everything in his life for the sake of a single girl? Check check fucking check 

And???/ Like???? Just look at all his colourspreads for Bleach and??? This shit becomes even more obvious? Like sure there’s a few colourspreads where he’s decked out in Shinigami gear looking heroic and shit surrounded by flames but for the most part Ichigo’s colourspreads are like… Ichigo in nice fashionable clothes looking at the audience with either this half-lidded sultry expression or a broody angsty expression on his face and im??????? Putting ur protag in fashionable clothes and posing them like a model is what u do in SHOUJO colourspreads not in shounen ones omg

And, just, the shoujo heroine finding the kinda aimless ‘’’’bad boy’’’’ with a shitton of potential and a heart of gold and changing them for the better, making them a better man who actually lives up to their potential is…. a shoujo trope…. it’s a shoujo storyline…… like….. I’m not trying to say Bleach would have worked better as a shoujo here but…. fuck it Bleach would have worked better as a shoujo 

finally finished my bleach tribute art that was long overdue

the ending wasn’t really that satisfying IT WAS KINDA BAD but nevertheless, i can’t seem to hate bleach. i’ve read/watched it since i was 10 and it has been a huge influence in my life, it has become a part of who i am… so:

This heartfelt rhapsody goes out to you
To send you my feelings of appreciation
Thank you…I really thank you

2

When the two that share destiny part and reunite, beyond the frame of time, the ceased clock will awake and start to tick once again.

[for strawberryandmoon , happy birthday ♥]

Bleach characters, it turns out that Orihime has been the big bad of Bleach this whole time! Your reactions?


As requested by conformingchaos. :) And also blackmoonwhitesun98 and xxxxanimebitchxxxx. ;)


How would Bleach characters react if they suddenly learned that Bleach’s big bad was Orihime? 


Ichigo: Like I’d ever believe this!


Ichigo: Inoue is 100% goodness and light!


Chad: Uh….Ichigo? Inoue *just* explained her evil plan. Like, literally just now. In front of us. Plus she just tried to kill us.


Ichigo:


Ichigo: I know, but it’s *Inoue*.


Chad: Do I need to throw you into a wall again?


Ulquiorra: I for one have no trouble believing this.


Ulquiorra: That woman tortured and then killed me.


Hichigo: Correction: *I* tortured and then killed you.


Ulquiorra: No. You pulverized my internal organs, which resulted in my death.


Ulquiorra: But the woman was the one who helped me begin to understand humans, to begin to *want* to understand humans, to begin to wish that I could make a connection…and then as I died she reached out her hand…


Ulquiorra: And didn’t heal me. But instead watched me die.


Ulquiorra: Presumably nourished by my pain. 


Ishida: Hey! Shut your bat mouth!


Ishids: Inoue may not have healed you, but she is a HEALER! Since when is the healer character a murderer??


Unohana: [coughs]


Ishida:


Ishida: Oh yeah.


Loly: Oh come on, guys! I PUMMELED that woman and she REFUSED to fight back, no matter what!


Loly: She’s not evil. She’s WEAK


Ulquiorra: Didn’t her not fighting back drive you to the breaking point until you finally attacked Yammy to protect her?


Loly:


Loly: SHIT


Rukia: Wait, but Urahara once told Inoue she couldn’t fight because her constitution wasn’t “suited” for fighting!


Rukia: So even Urahara didn’t suspect her, and he’s supposed to be some kind of genius!


Rukia:


Rukia: Unless of course he tried to keep her out of the fight because he KNEW she was evil.


Urahara: [whistling]


Rukia: YOU NEED TO COMMUNICATE BETTER


Renji: Aren’t Inoue’s powers, like, completely unique?


Renji: And godlike?


Renji: And she can heal herself from anything?


Renji: Aren’t we kinda screwed?


Shinji: Not to mention she won’t be healing *us* anymore.


Renji: You’re right. We’re super screwed. 


Tatsuki: I always knew Inoue would do awesome things!


Keigo: Um….were you not listening to the part where she’s evil?


Tatsuki: It’s kinda cool though.


Mizuiro: Well at least Ichigo will protect us.


Ichigo: I JUST CAN’T BELIEVE THAT INOUE IS EVIL


Ichigo: CAN’T. WON’T. NOPE.


Chad: Take your fingers out of your ears, Ichigo!


Mizuiro:


Mizuiro: Or not.

under the fairy lights (real things happen)

so @ask-chimchim posted this wonderful fanart and @punkyoonmin said: 

and I’m sorry I kinda made it not very sweet but idk, this is how it turned out and this is for Marta bc she always supports my writing and I like that :3c

***

This is not his style. This is so not his style. 

Keep reading

THE SHIPS DONT MATTER

The ending was GARBAGE. All of the questions that were so much more important than “GEE I wonder who Ichigo ended up with?” Never got answered! It’s bullshit and a shame that we will never get more. And how did Rukia and Renji just kinda… go to Ichigo’s all of a sudden? Weren’t we at a coronation? How did Ichigo’s brat suck up Ywach’s power like that??? UGHHH AND URYU YOU DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER. This is so bad. I don’t ship anyone in Bleach because the love story aspects were never really a big part of it, as per Kubo’s explaination. But, I’m still kind of pissed Orihime ended up with Ichigo. She played typical damsel, all she really ever said was “Kurosaki-Kun”, she almost became interesting again during Hueco Mundo and she got pushed to the side after Ichi went Hollow form. She needed to be developed more because it just kind of seemed Ichigo gave in to her attraction. It’s lazy writing. Screw you, Kubo and Editors.

liein  asked:

Have you ever wanted to dye your hair another color before?

I’ve actually been thinking of dying a part of it some kinda platinum-white kinda deal but I don’t have the patience or money to get my hair cut/bleached/styled

Instead I’ll keep going to my local barbershop every five months and getting the same old haircut that any old white Christian lady would call “handsome and respectable”

So far this has been one of the best Hallowe'ens I’ve had in a long long time. I stayed up til 4AM bleaching my hair and baking. Went to work as John Constantine. About half a dozen people IDed me, but three….

Well the first of them said, “My first thought is…have you heard of this show, Supernatural?” –at which point of course I had to sit down I was laughing so hard

and another grinned real big and offered to go get his leather jacket out of his car so he could be Dean, and when I told him “we’re not doing the staring thing" he cracked up.

The couple'a folks who guessed right spurred some discussion on bisexual erasure too, I mean holy crap I love my work environment

the part where I had several women kinda hitting on me and crooning about my hair and wanting photos of me still has me kind of a lot bewildered

and then I was voted Zombie Prom King. ʘ‿ʘ what the hell is my life

later: horror flicks, jello shots, and blood rituals

anonymous asked:

can you do a preference on their type of girls appearance and personality wise? thanks c:

oooooh okay sure c:

I’m super annoyed bc i wrote all of luke’s and my computer went crazy and it was gone wah so sorry if it’s shitty, it’s only bc it’s a rewrite!

*these are purely my own opinion at this very moment in time, based on what we know about the boys and what i picture in my mind. my opinion could change tomorrow yknow. they could date the total opposite idk. it’s all just fun :)* 

**also ash and michael’s are long sorry i have no self control**

okay so i think calum would like someone who’s chill and down to earth and not a high maintenance kind of girl you know. like don’t get me wrong, boy would be whipped, but not in a bad way like he’d just want to be with her and treat her well and buy her shit and she’d appreciate it but never expect it or anything.
and she’d have to be happy and giggly and like play along with his suggestive jokes and be silly and have a funny silly sense of humour herself and is just cute and awh just imagine him laughing at his girl’s giggle like FUCK.
i think looks wise someone with mid to long hair? idk i have visions of him running his hands through a chick’s hair. and idk i’m thinking someone maybe medium height and like, okay. i can totally picture him with a model. but i can just as easily picture him with a curvy girl with big hips and a hot booty and b o o b s and him just cuddling her and running his hands up and down her curvy sides all the time in public and like resting his head on her chest when he’s tired or bored you know??

okay so now luke would go for somebody smart. because he’s smart and his sense of humour, while silly, is sarcastic and clever and could you imagine him being with someone who doesn’t get his jokes like omg he’d get so annoyed. she’s have to be able to come back at him with something witty and funny and idk like luke makes me laugh my fucking ass off, and i reckon he would love a girl that could do that to HIM.
she’d have to be friendly and open, because holy frick imagine being introduced to the hemmings clan ALL DEM SIBLINGS woWZA and like i think she would be all the things luke needs like someone to help him up when he’s feeling down and to pull him back when he’s being crazy or rude and someone to encourage him to speak his mind when he feels too shy to. and i think he’d like to be like that for her too like he would love knowing he’s helping and supporting her and yeah.
i think looks wise someone kinda medium height, medium hair length i guess? i have visions of him with a blonde, not bleached but like dirty blonde maybe idk and like he’d go for the girl with the side fringe and the streak of blue and a piercing or two. i’m thinking slim build honestly part of me is just thinking of aleisha through all this not sorry because like. dont get me wrong, if he fell in love im positive he wouldnt give two fucks about size, but part of me can picture him dating someone in the entertainment industry like from tv maybe and there’s a fairly standard look there yknow.

now now ashton would go for someone cool and chill and like idk hippie?? like she cooks him vegan brownies and they eat seeds for breakfast and he fucking l o v e s it because his girl is cool and smart and into being herself and loves her own body and soul and mind and like i think that would be so hot for him like omg because he’s so himself and i dont know if he would want to deal with a girl who cant figure her shit out. she’d like complete him and he’d want to be a better person because of her and he’d love her and look up to her and you know??? and she’d feel the same about him and they would just be like ugh amazing match made in Heaven type of couple.
she’d have either long wavy beach hair OR a cute pixie cute actually yeah lets go with pixie cut bc shes different and shes cool and it makes her feel like a garden fairy and thats so cute and whimsical awh ash would love that about her like her imagination and her sudden innocence you know.
and because shes so open and free and in touch with helself, shed be up for cool shit in the bedroom and like idk i think ash would be too??? like he’s obvs a nice guy and nice guys try out cool shit ok thats my theory im stickin to it
so they’d just be like so in love an din touch with each other and like yeah like even if they were on opposite sides of the world she would text him just at the right moment because like he’d be missing her or something and she would knOW like she would be missing him and feel something wrong and want to connect with him idk am i making sense like basiacally they’d be your perfect spiritually connected couple and yep bye.

okay michael oh sweet baby lord jesus michael. michael’s girl would be funny, kind, loud, caring, intuitive, like, basically the thing i said in luke’s about being everything he needs. she would laugh at his jokes and come back with even funnier things and make him want to piss himself laughing but she would know when the jokes aren’t funny (which just a side note speaking of jokes, she’d have to be able to fkn take one because i can see him making some pretty hefty jabs in a joke fight u know), and she’d know when he just needs and hug or needs a minute alone.
they’d text weird random shit back and forth all day like cute dogs they see on the street or gross looking dishes in restaurants and like they would just be in constant contact.
when he went away on tour it would be like he wasnt even gone because yeah they’d talk all the time and talk like they would see each other that same night and you know. except for when the homesickness or the missing each other got too much, which happens, but like they’d remind each other how much they miss the other one regularly because michael is actually a huge softy and thats another thing like she’d have to be good and expressing her emotions but ANYWAY yes so when they missed each other too much theyd have long long heart to hearts on the phone or skype and theyd just look at each other for hours and listen to each other breathe between conversation and just like spend time together the only way they could at that moment.
when they are together she would have to be the kind of person that doesnt have to be DOING anything. like i can see them just chilling on the sofa watching tv for 7 hours and then realizing it’s 10:30 and having ramen for dinner lol
i think thaaaaaat looks wise idk? like from the celebrities hes mentioned in interviews i think he might be into long locks? and lbh i bet he likes to run his fingers through his lady’s hair while theyre cuddling like like i bet he smells it like a creep but not rly bc thats cute as awh.
i feel like if he loves pizza as much as he fkn says he does, he’d want a girl who can handle her food. and if you want a girl who can handle her food, you cant really be expecting supermodel measurements. so if only purely because of that, i’m gonna go with someone who’s maybe got a bit of curve? just someone who like, doesnt care if she’s 5kgs more or 5kgs less bc really who cares, she’s still her shes still hot. and i think michael would fucking love that like when she fights him for the last slice of pizza he’d be like fuck yeah my girls a keeper shes hot and shes cool and she doesnt care what anyone thinks and awh.
i think maybe someone who wears glasses too. like maybe not all the time, but like imagine him inviting her over after work and she shows up all stressed from the day in her hot sexy librarian glasses and she pulls her pony tail out and her hairs like slow motion flowing ascross her shoulds YOU FUCKING TELL ME MICHAEL WOULDNT CUM IN HIS PANTS RIGHT THERE AND THEN YOURE A FUCKING LIAR OKAY.
speaking of cum in pants, sex. i think she’d learn a lot frm michael, but also TEACH him a lot. because like ash, i think she’d have to be in touch with herself and know what she likes and wants and she wouldnt be afraid to show him. she wouldnt be pushy but she’d let him know if he did something she didnt like and she’d REALLY let him know if he did something she DID like hehehehehe. 
and yeah i think they’d be kinda like power couple like mum and dad of couples like they’d be together forever and they’d be so comfy with each other and just be together always but not in a clingy way just in a “we’re one thing” kind of way like they BELONG TOGETHER and it’d be like they’ve been married for years and they’d just GET each other you know they’d be very in touch with each other and how the other one is feeling and they’d really truly be best friends.

thank you for reading this pile of word vomit, i hope you enjoyed :) 
request box is always open