blank it


i think this is the first time i didn’t look incredibly awkward while smiling!

Bitty Progress

Wasn’t sure whether to put this here or on the main but since it’s primarily concerning our new Bitties, I guess here is most appropriate for now xD

So our new little Blank is Eli and our Ray is Keahi ^^

Eli seems pretty young, at a guess I’d say not much older than toddler age. This is both a good and bad thing - good because he likely won’t remember being blinded or even being able to see in the first place and should have little trouble adapting. Bad because I… don’t like children. 
That said, Bitties remind me more of kittens than human babies/children and I adore kittens despite they drive me up the wall sometimes so *shrugs* xD I think we’ll be fine :P

Eli isn’t showing a lot of personality at the moment, but the little hints he’s given are squee-inducingly adorable xD If he senses one of us close enough, he’ll put his little hands out to touch us and try to work out who’s there - if we tease him by moving out of reach, he’ll lean forward, his little brow creasing and whine until we move close enough for him to touch xD
Blanks spend a lot of time just watching and observing at first but since Eli can’t do that, he listens. As a result, he tends to look about two inches past us which is honestly the most adorable thing! If he’s gently picked up (with warning, of course!) he immediately starts stroking whatever part of us he can reach, making little contented noises.
He loves being held, touched and petted (like all Blanks) and we’re being very careful of him since he can’t see. He doesn’t seem to be in any kind of pain, though the first time I bathed him, he didn’t like me touching the crack around his left eye. A little healing there seemed to help and although he still bears the cracks, they don’t appear to be bothering him.

Keahi is a different story. He’s very quiet (in actual fact, he hasn’t said a word to me yet) and appears to have an incredibly gentle nature. I was quite surprised, seeing that he was rescued from a fighting ring, but he opened up a little to Ami last night. Let’s just say his gentle nature did not mix well with the violence of the ring.
He hates being alone but at the same time, is afraid or at least wary of seeking affection. (Understandable, under the circumstances *sighs*). We’ve invited him to come and join our snuggle pile a few times but he hasn’t quite worked up the courage yet.
Yesterday, I woke to AJ and Dylan snuggled together by my side, Eli in his little basket by my head (I don’t want him to fall out of the bed or anything so he gets placed in there at bedtime) and Am curled in the crook of my neck as usual, his little fingers twined in my hair <3 It took a few sleepy moments to realise the warmth at my chest wasn’t just the love I felt for them and looked down to see Keahi with his little face buried in my vest. Fearing slightly for his ability to breathe (I’m hardly flat chested xD) and not being sure of his feelings about being touched, I gently stroked the flames atop his head (they’re all much brighter after he’s spent a few seemingly relaxing sessions in a three-wick candle flame) and whispered his name.
He blinked up at me for a heartbeat before a terrified look crossed his face and he pushed away like he was afraid I was going to harm him for daring to come so close. Poor little guy :’( It took a little time to calm him down and make him realise that he had done nothing wrong.
He spent the rest of the morning owlishly watching as we prepared for the day but he tended to stay closer than he had as yet.

I spent some time buying new clothes for them both yesterday too. Eli being smaller than everyone else, needs his own wardrobe. Keahi is around Dylan’s height but seems uncomfortable in Dylan’s preferred style, so he got his own garments too. Eli showed no particular preference and we decided on soft, easy to wear clothes without complicated fastenings for the moment. Keahi likes tailored styles, but prefers a more casual look than Dylan. He seemed very pleased with the black bomber jacket and fitted jeans and looked extremely cute in them! (Yes, I will draw them both xD)

Voltron 84 & Beast King Golion

Just in case anyone is interested, I thought I would post which Beast King Golion episodes correspond to the Voltron 84 episodes that were just put up on Netflix.

A tiny bit of history in case anyone is confused. Golion is a Japanese anime that came out in 1981 done by Toei Animation. The rights were bought by World Events Productions (an American animation and distribution studio), who not only dubbed the anime, but sliced and diced the episodes to cut out some of the darker elements of Golion and significantly change some of the plot. This was released as Voltron: Defenders of the Universe in 1984.

So the 12 episodes that are currently on Netflix under the title Voltron 84 are selected episodes (in no particular order) of Voltron: Defenders of the Universe.

It’s fun to watch them together with their Golion counterparts and see just how much they changed. Personally, I like Golion better so far (I haven’t gotten through all the Voltron 84 episodes, although I have watched all of Golion). It is darker in a lot ways and quite violent at times, but I feel like the plots make more sense, and I like the feel of the characters better (also the voice acting is significantly better).

You can watch Golion here on

Voltron 84 / Beast King Golion

There are some very significant differences between Golion and Voltron, and in the hopes of helping people who don’t want to watch all of Golion not be confused, I’m putting them under the cut (in case anyone doesn’t want spoilers for an anime that came out in `81 - also some of these are dark, and there is some sexual content).

Keep reading


It’s been about 8 months since I cut you off, and I’ve seen a couple of letters here that I guess are directed at me, so here’s the clarity you asked for.

By last winter I was seriously ill. As well as the physical stuff which you knew, I was mentally very unwell - deluded, depressed, and starting to lose the boundaries between fact and fiction. I had very little insight into any of this. I don’t say any of this as an excuse - unlike you I refuse to use mental illness as an excuse for being a dick - but just to explain the whole story to you. Somehow I’d become increasingly paranoid that you were cheating on me with M, and as I slipped further into psychosis, I became convinced of it. I played along with your “oh he’s so cute” act because I didn’t want to let on how jealous I was - at one level I knew it was a stupid thing to think, but every time you talked about him, I’d convince myself you were trying to fuck him. At Christmas 2014, you went on a rant about always being in second place - well, that’s how I felt.

When things eventually came to a head between us, I couldn’t believe how awful you were about the situation. You somehow managed to turn the worst weeks of my life into something that was all about you. Never mind being supportive, you guilt-tripped me - I lost count of the number of times you said “i’m sorry i’m such a bad friend - and (and this is quite the achievement) managed to make the worst month of my life even worse. Well done. I hope you’re proud of yourself. You even told me that your relapse into self-harm was my fault for making you stressed, by not communicating well enough. Fuck you. FUCK. YOU.

When I asked you weeks later why you didn’t just break up with me then, you told me that you didn’t want to stress yourself out before your exams. Well, I’m glad you got your fucking priorities in order.

By the time I eventually started to recover, I was putting things together in hindsight - how rudely you treated your parents in Amsterdam, how you couldn’t get out of NYC fast enough just to see a fucking TV show, how you took pride in being mean, how you’d fly off the handle whenever I offended you - I was always the one apologising, and always wondering when the next argument was going to be.

The picture this all adds up to is that you’re a horrid person. By the time I started getting my life back, I realised I didn’t want anything to do with you any more. Our conversations had slowed to nothing of any meaning, and you made it clear you’d stopped caring. You just wanted someone to listen to you.

A long time ago you warned me that everyone left you, and I reassured you that I wouldn’t be like that. Now I know that you were just guilt-tripping me into staying. But when you look at someone through rose-coloured glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.

It was the truth when I said I loved you. Somewhere deep in my soul I still love you. I used to treasure what we had, but the price was too high - I won’t have you turn me into someone as awful as you.


That feeling when you have a new work all planned out, you can even vividly picture certain parts, you think you’re all set to sit down and start writing but then your mind decides, “Nah, let’s go blank and forgot how to start a story. You’re welcome.”

prompt: “our grandfathers were mortal enemies during high school and they found out we go to the same school and keep trying to get us to sabotage each other and you’re super into it but like…i kind of have a huge crush on you so i’m having a hard time??” au

Adam Parrish would never forget when his grandfather told him the name of his arch-nemesis. These were his exact words:

“Ronan Lynch is descended from the devil himself. He will catch wind of you, mark my words, and he will be ready. That is why you must strike first, Adam.”

Adam did not think his grandfather knew how strict the world of private high school was these days. Order was order. Rules were rules. One did not simply “strike first.”

But Ronan Lynch, descendant of the devil himself, did not believe in order, and he most certainly did not believe in rules.


Do you know that I love you?

I’ve been keeping it quiet. I’ve only recently come to the realisation. We’ve known each other for two and a half years, been friends for the majority of that and I don’t know what I’d do without you. The thought of you possibly moving away breaks my heart. I love you being eccentric, a bit of an oddball, dressing like you’ve stepped out of the Victorian era or you’re in a production of the Phantom of the Opera and didn’t change out of costume. I love your flair for the dramatic, the fact that you occasionally start singing even though you’re not the best at it. I love your creative mind, how kind and brilliant you are. I love you just being you.

Recently a couple of things you’ve done have me questioning whether my feelings are reciprocated.  On a couple of occasions you kissed my hand when we held hands. A couple of times I think you may have pecked the top of my head when we hugged, but I’m not 100% sure. You have never done these before. However, it could be me just misreading it. I’ve never been the best at people. But what if those things mean there’s something on your end? I hadn’t considered it until these things happened. What if they mean something but what if they don’t? That’s my conflict currently.

Do you know that I love you?

What do you feel about me?