blame the fat

Like, in the US, most obese people are POOR, because unhealthy, high calorie, high fat, high salt foods are actually much cheaper than healthy foods. Our food system and health system are fucked and bizarre. I can get a cheese burger from McDonalds for less than a bag of carrots.

You are fighting the good fight when you said this @fandomsandfeminism, but I just need to correct this bit of misinformation so you can continue fighting with the right facts on your side. [source thread; cw fat phobia]

Poor people, and especially poor people of color, are indeed more likely to be fat than their richer and/or white counterparts. But the reason is not because “unhealthy” food is cheaper. 

Food insecurity is one important reason that poorer people are fatter. But the processes by which food insecurity leads to fatness has less to do with the types of foods people eat and more to do with the metabolic changes that result from cyclical starvation. [source]

 Also, the stress of social oppression changes people’s biochemistry in such a way that becoming fat is more likely. Stress hormones tip the balance towards growing the fat organ, even when food is scarce and people are malnourished. [source]

And being fat actually offers protection against many of the diseases that are caused by the stress of oppression and poverty – including cardiovascular disease, cancer, type 2 diabetes, kidney disease, and others. Once people develop these diseases of social oppression, being fat is actually a good thing. [source]

 Also, white supremacy is based in part on valuing a thin body type that is more common among white people of European ancestry, whereas many of the racial and ethnic groups that are marginalized under white supremacy also happen to be fatter, or at least, prone to fatness under certain circumstances. Old timey racists basically latched onto fat phobia as a means of further oppressing and excluding the people they wanted to oppress and exclude. [source]

So basically, poor people are fat for a whole host of reasons that have nothing to do with the cost of McDonalds. That is actually just a fat phobic myth that allows privileged people to “blame” poor fat people for their body size and the poor health status that is incorrectly attributed to that body size. It’s easy to avoid responsibility for social oppression when poor people are just fat and sick because they make made food choices, am I right? Yuck. [read more]

I know you wouldn’t want to perpetuate that type of harmful and abusive ideology, so it’s a good idea if you – and all of us – stop spreading that myth around!

What fat-acceptance is supposed to be like: you’re going on a diet? I’m so happy for you! You finally decided to start nourishing your body with nutritious food instead of fats

What it’s actually like: you’re going on a diet??? I’m sooo sorry!! I can’t believe society is making you feel like you’re not good enough. Wouldn’t you rather be treating yourself to pizza and sweets? If you go to the gym and start eating salads you’ll become anorexic, and you don’t want that, do you?

Blame me for your weight gain. I did this to you. I made you eat everything, every day, nonstop. Whisper in my ear how it’s my fault for turning you into an obese, blubbery, doughy fat ass. Tell me that my encouragement is the reason for your extra 30, 40, 50 pounds. Blame me for your obesity. Blame me for your massive thighs and pillowy arms. Blame me for 3XL shirts that will be snug in about a month. Blame me for soft fat that bounces at the slightest touch and sits between your huge thighs. Blame me for your breathlessness and insatiable appetite

Everything to me (Simon Request)

The tweets were endless. Mentions of you not being good enough for him. Tagging you in photos where Simon was without you. Saying he was happier then. Anything you tweeted yourself would get hate. If you even thought about replying to a tweet from your boyfriend, they’d all attack you with their words once again. It was easier to stay clear of all of it. But Simon claimed you shouldn’t have to do that.
Disabling his comments hadn’t helped. It only fuelled their hatred claiming that ‘you had made him do this’. They said that things were so different since you had been with him. And you were scared that now you were beginning to admit it might be true.
You looked at yourself in the mirror and couldn’t see anything good anymore. You hadn’t felt like this in a while. Not since you had Simon. He made you forget about all of your insecurities. But now that had changed. Those comments and those tweets had changed it.
You now saw how your stomach wasn’t completely flat. You didn’t have the shadows of ab muscles forming or a gap between your legs that was somehow aspirational. You had skin on your thighs that was definitely unwanted and you couldn’t fit into the size six like the models could. Your cheeks were chubby from never really losing your baby feature and you couldn’t wear a crop top comfortably in the summer.
Every time your eyes skimmed over your body you seemed to find more and more features that you didn’t like. That you despised.
You hadn’t mentioned anything to your boyfriend. He knew that their words had affected you but not this much. Not so much that you couldn’t even look at yourself in the mirror anymore. To the point where you had considered leaving him just because it would make him happier. You cared about him more than anything and if you were stopping him from being himself, you would be the one to change that. Of course, he had never said to you that you had done anything to make him feel like that but the millions of subscribers had pressured you into believing it.
“(Y/n)?” Simon calls when he evidently walks into the room and you jolt your head towards the bathroom door just to make sure it was closed.
There were tears in your eyes now and he couldn’t see you like this.
“I’m in here” You reply loud enough for him to hear even with a croak in your voice.
“Hey babe” He chirps and you can see the cute smile on his face, “Do you wanna film a video with me and the guys? We’re thinking of starting a new series”
“Umm hang on a second” You quickly respond, tugging down the material of your ‘Sugg Life’ jumper that hung oversized on your body, “What were you thinking of doing?” You ask, closing the door behind you and going to find a pair of jeans or joggers that didn’t necessarily hug your legs as much…
“Like random games or GTA or dead by daylight and stuff but with you in it. Basically just us teaching you how to play” He explains happily, “You in?”
“I don’t know Simon, I’m not feeling too great” You lie, grabbing a pair of joggers and pulling them over your legs.
“Were you sick?” He frowns with evident concern, the smile slipping from his lips.
“No no I just… I’m gonna go lie down for a while” You nod, “I’ll go in the spare room”
“Don’t be silly, you can stay in here” He assures you, “Everyone knows you live here anyway”
“Its okay” You force a smile onto your lips, leaning up to kiss his cheek, “Enjoy filming”
You don’t notice how worried Simon looks as you walk away. You just felt so enclosed that you had to get out.
~~~Simon’s POV~~~
I was concerned now. Something wasn’t right. And as my thumb clicked onto twitter, I could tell why. Her mentions were full of hate. And these were only the ones I had been tagged in. She must’ve seen so much more. Tweet after tweet pushing more and more negative thoughts into her mind. And none of them were true. I loved my viewers but did they really have to be like this? I could only imagine how upset she was. She was sensitive even if she didn’t admit it.
And with this, I couldn’t blame her.
‘Kill yourself you fat bitch’
‘Haven’t seen Simon look so fed up since I started watching him. It’s her’
‘She needs to start using those fat legs of hers and walk out’
‘Who the fuck even thinks Simon likes this girl?’
‘I feel bad for Simon. He must be desperate if he’s with that fat fuck’
The anger bubbled in my stomach until the controller I had been planning on using to use for filming goes flying across the room and crashes against the wall.
“I was gonna ask if you were gonna join the call but that can wait” Josh starts, leaning against the wall of my room, “What’s going on?”
“I need to talk to (y/n)” I sigh, getting up, “Record without me yeah?”
“Sure but, are you sure everything’s okay?”
“No, but I just need to speak to her,” I nod and head outside, going straight to the spare room.
~~~Your POV~~~
You were sat on the bed with your laptop on your legs, replying to some emails from work and generally just catching up on a few things when Simon came in.
“I thought you were filming” You frown.
“Nope” He shrugs, reaching out his hand, “Come here”
“What are you doing?” You question as he lifts you up to stand.
“You’re coming with me beautiful” He mentions simply, leading you out of the room and downstairs.
“Babe what’s wrong with you?” You chuckle slightly as he hands you a pair of shoes and slips on his own.
He leads you silently to the car and you climb inside without protest even if you didn’t feel up to it.
It was dark outside now. The clear sky forming a sheet of stars above the house and the moon reflecting the past light of the sun.
Simons hand doesn’t leave yours as he drives and you keep your eyes focused on his adorable face with his glasses perched on his nose. They were right. You didn’t deserve him.
He soon parks up and you notice he’s taken you to the top of a cliff where the pair of you had gone after a date before. It was the place of your first kiss.
“Why are we here?” You frown and he sits down on a large rock with you beside him.
“So I saw those tweets” He starts, fingers absentmindedly playing with yours.
“Si-” You start
“And I know they would’ve upset you” He comments with all too much truth, “And I don’t know where to start (y/n)”
“You don’t have to” You shake your head, feeling guilty now.
“They mean nothing babe” He states simply, “I don’t give a fuck about 140 characters on a tweet. I don’t give a fuck about your mentions. I don’t give a fuck if they say it every single day. I only care about it affecting you. Because it shouldn’t”
“Its endless Simon. Every single thing I do they seem to have something against” You look down, “I’m starting to think they’re telling the truth”
“Bullshit” He states simply, “They could say a thousand things and it wouldn’t matter. They could say a million times that you’re not good enough or whatever and I still wouldn’t care”
“Look at me Simon” You exclaim, “There’s Sarah and Freya and Katie and Kay and Emily and then there’s me. I’m not beautiful like them, I can’t take a selfie that I look good in. Hell, I don’t even take photos on my own. I don’t look good in tight clothes, I always just wear sweats. Im nothing compared to them”
“(Y/n), do you remember when we first met? Because I do. 3 years ago. You were at the restaurant and you served us. I remember you said something about JJ and it made all of us laugh. And we spent the night chatting to you because by the time we left, it was hours after you should’ve closed. And I remember every time you walked away I realised more and more how beautiful you were. You liked sport even if you did prefer rugby and you liked video games especially gta and you had this fascinating life outside of that small restaurant that I was mesmerised by the more and more you spoke. You were stunning in your simplicity. You didn’t need makeup or perfectly done hair. You were you and to me, that was everything. And that’s not going to change”
You have tears in your eyes now. Simon was never one to speak like that.
“Think of it this way” He nods, squeezing your hand, “I fell in love with you and that’s what should matter, don’t let my viewers stop you from remembering that”
“Thank you” You mutter, the tears threatening to slip from your eyes as they built up more and more.
“Don’t cry babygirl” He whispers, the pad of his thumb wiping under your eyes quickly, “We all have these days. Yours just aren’t necessary” He chuckles and you smile.
“We should probably get back. You have filming to do right?” You sigh, knowing moments like these never lasted long.
“YouTube can wait”

anonymous asked:

I just saw a post that talks about "how obesity affects surgical procedures" and seems to argue that fat patients, rather than un- or undertrained medical professionals, are the problem. I'm livid. I'm very fat, I had major thoracic surgery, and my surgeon has NEVER, in 1.5 years, even mentioned my weight. Not once! It's baffling to me that apologists continue to blame fat people for being "difficult" to treat when there are so many "difficult" populations who receive adequate care all the time.

I share your rage. For example, if they can figure out how to safely perform surgeries on teensy tiny babies, then they can darn well figure out how to safely perform surgeries on fat people too.

“I’m so sorry.”

A/N: guess who’s back. back again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


You, Shawn and the rest of his team we’re eating dinner at some restaurant. The food there was delicious and everyone thought the exact same.

Everyone was eating happily and enjoying themselves and you were in a conversation with some woman in Shawn’s team about life at home. You were sitting next to Shawn and he was in a deep conversation with Geoff.

You were kind of happy you went to this dinner. You hadn’t been feeling very well, because you had been reading a lot of hate comments online lately and you just couldn’t put it out of your head. Everyone was telling you to lose a bit of weight and to be honest, you didn’t blame them. You weren’t fat or something but you could lose a couple of pounds. So that’s what you were trying to achieve.

You had been skipping meals and working out more and Shawn hadn’t mentioned it so you were pretty sure he wasn’t catching up on it yet, if you could just lose a couple of pounds you would be content.

You guys had just finished dessert and were about to leave when you excused yourself to go to the bathroom real quick. Shawn was still deep in a conversation with Geoff so you just announced it and went to go and look for the bathroom. You knew that what you were doing was wrong but the dinner you just ate held a lot of calories and it just didn’t feel right, you had to get rid of it.

You did your thing, washed up yourself, put in a gum with mint flavor and went back because they were about to leave.

When you got back to the table Shawn was waiting for you. As soon as he spotted you, you asked him. “Where is everyone?”

“They went back to the cars, ours is waiting at front.” Shawn looked into your eyes looking for some answers and you felt like he knew what was going on but you weren’t giving in.

“Ok let’s go.” You said and the two of you walked to the car.

As the two of you sat in the car with just the driver holding you company you felt Shawn grabbing your hand tightly and rubbing his thumb over it.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m great, why wouldn’t I be?”

‘Don’t lie to me Y/N.” Shawn simply said. You got confused and looked at him only to see he was already looking at you with sad eyes.

“I know what you’ve been doing. Don’t be so surprised that I figured it out, my only question is why?” Shawn asked.

You let go of his hand and turned your head away from him.

“It’s nothing don’t worry about it.” You really didn’t want to talk about this with him and especially because the driver could hear every single detail of your convo and you really didn’t want stories going around about you.

Shawn kept quiet because he knew what you were thinking and he didn’t blame you, but as soon as the two of you arrived back at the hotel he sat you down.

“I want an explanation.”

“You don’t need one.” You answered him.

“Y/N stop being so stubborn I want to help because what you have been doing is not healthy one bit.”

“So what? I’m losing weight? Everyone should be happy about it. Especially your so-called fans.” You exclaimed and the room fell quiet.

Shawn looked at you with sad eyes. “I’m so sorry I didn’t notice this earlier.” He said.

“Don’t apologize it isn’t your fault.”

“You don’t need to lose weight, they are just being complete assholes. I love you and your body.” He said and pulled you closer by the waist. “Don’t go and do these things on your own, talk to me last time, I don’t want you dealing with this on your own I love you I want to help.”

You just nodded and buried your head into Shawn’s neck breathing in his scent taking in this moment. “I love you.” Shawn whispered into your ear. “So much, please don’t let anyone change you.”

anonymous asked:

I'm certainly not glad that Bob Harper from Biggest Loser had a heart attack, and I hope he makes a full recovery. But I wish this could me some kind of moment like, oh, look, thin people have heart attacks, maybe stop harassing fat people.

When a thin person like Bob Harper has a heart attack, it’s blamed on genetics. When a fat person has a heart attack, it’s blamed on our size – or rather, the eating and activity habits that are wrongly assumed to cause our size

That is fat phobic health science in a nut shell.

I hope this change in his health status means he will no longer be able to earn money by abusing fat people.

68,8% of Americans aged 20 or older have a BMI of 25 or above.

4,6% of Americans aged 12 or older suffer from hypothyroidism

6,6% of women in America suffer from PCOS

and still the entire FA movement blame their conditions??? ????+??

A few reminders for everyone

It is not always your fault.

If people hurt you, you are not to blame.

If you make a mistake, it’s okay; we all make mistakes.

If you hurt someone, it isn’t ‘weak’ to apologise.

Practice helps. Draw, write, dance, run; mastery isn’t instant.

It isn’t bad to cry. Let it out. Everyone cries at some point.

If you don’t cry a lot, that’s okay. If you do cry a lot, that’s okay too.

A meal will not make you “fat”.

Being fat isn’t bad. Fat =/= Ugly.

Being skinny isn’t bad. Skinny=/= Ugly.

You are loved. You will always be loved.

You are important. You’ll always be important.

You are handsome, beautiful, amazing, and a masterpiece who deserves  respect and love.


You. Matter.

EXO Sehun: Rude Co-worker

Sehun scenario where he’s your incredibly rude co-worker

requested by: mymisstina

———

“Yah! Hurry up!” You heard your fellow co-worker yell at you as you trudged up the stairs in your heels.

Oh Sehun. The brat who treated you like the dirt underneath his shoes despite everything that you tried to do to get on his good side. There was no plausible reason as to why he hated you so much, at least not ones that you knew of. You met him on the first day of your job at S&J Entertainment, both of you starting as meek assistants whose only purpose was to fetch coffee and camp in the printer room. However, you weren’t going to complain, as the chances of fresh graduates getting a decent job right after college were incredibly slim.

When you had first met Sehun, your eyes could barely peel away from his handsome angular face. Unfortunately, you weren’t the only one that noticed his charm. The office girls would constantly giggle every time he walked by their cubicle, even the older ladies working at the front desks swooned every time he left or entered. It was quite obvious that he knew about the effect that he had in the building. You weren’t sure if he flirted with the manager for the sake of a promotion, or if he was always like that. Either way, anything after his handsome face was disregarded, you couldn’t have cared less if he died the next day. The way he treated you was a sharp contrast to the rest of how he was around the other girls. Sure, at first you were hurt and tried to find everything that could have possibly made him say such snarky things to you, but after a while you just ignored him. He wasn’t worth it, even with his pretty face.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if Manager-nim fired you tomorrow, you’re so unreliable.” Sehun scoffed at you for what seemed like the hundredth time today, and barely half the day had passed.

“Then why don’t you just go on ahead, instead of waiting for me?” You snapped back, trying to juggle the large boxes you were carrying with laminated documents. Sehun was the most unreliable partner you had ever had the pleasure with working with. It was like the world was out to get you as you were almost always paired up together. You were always the one that moved the heavier boxes around, while he daintily held the take-out tray of iced coffee.  You were sure that he avoided all responsibilities like the plague, and instead hindered it all on you.

“I have to make it seem like I’m contributing my share of work, when we get to the door, pass me the box.”

You were sure that if you hadn’t been holding the heavy box with both of your hands, you would’ve slapped the indecent little boy. The nerve that he had, to make you do everything and get away with it.

“Yeah yeah, whatever,” you grumbled, not having enough energy to think of a snarky reply. It was only going to be eight more hours until the day was over, you were just going to have to put up with him.

———————

“_______!” Your friend Yeri called out to you, as you made your way over to her table during your lunch break. You were completely burnt out, having to run around all over the office the entire morning wasn’t an easy task. Especially when your partner was Oh Sehun, whose idea of working was just watching you, and more than often inputting rude comments about the way you did things. If he had actually helped you like he was supposed to, everything would’ve been finished in an hour tops, but instead it took you three hours.

“Is that your lunch?” Yeri asked, peering down at your small pathetic looking box of convenience store kimbap. You didn’t have the time in the morning to pack yourself a lunch, nor did you have the ability to actually cook anything. It was either this or a bowl of ramyun, so you figured that this was a little bit more healthier, or at least that was how your logic was.

You took out your wooden chopsticks and started to separate them, “Yeah, I was in a hurry this morning, I totally forgot to set my alarm the night before.”

Yeri merely laughed at your forgetfulness, before taking out the contents of what was inside her lunch bag. Your eyes completely bugged out at the sheer amount of tupperware she was pulling out one by one. “How do you have so much time in the morning to make all of those side dishes?” You asked in astonishment and envy, while also salivating at the sight of the small container of acorn jelly.

“I didn’t make these, my boyfriend did!” Yeri winked and slid a couple of the tupperwares closer to you. “Have some, there’s no way I’ll finish all of this by myself.”

“Well don’t mind if I do!” Oh crap, you didn’t even have to turn your head around to know who that voice belonged to.

Sehun didn’t waste a second to pull up a chair from a table close by and start stuffing his face with Yeri’s side dishes.

You could only watch as he started to noisily chomp down on the radish kimchi, completely disregarding the fact that he wasn’t being etiquette at all. His long bangs falling down onto his eyes as his head lowered.

“God, have some decency, will you?” You scoffed at him, rolling your eyes at how disgusting he was being.

Sehun looked up at you for a couple of seconds, before averting his gaze towards your uneaten platter of kimbap. “Is that all you have for lunch?”

You nodded, picking up your chopsticks again, making sure not to notice the fact that he had a little bit of red pepper sauce dribbling down the side of his chin.

“It’s a good thing you’re eating so little, wouldn’t want to gain more weight, would you?”

You stood up from your chair so fast it was a miracle it didn’t fall over. Eyes from all around were already glancing over at your sudden outburst, but you couldn’t have cared less. Your face was burning at his ruder than usual comment, and you were afraid that if you didn’t leave soon you were going to do something you were going to regret.

Your knuckles turned white as you held onto your chopsticks, you weren’t even going to give him the satisfaction of a response. You watched as Yeri quickly slid the side dishes away from Sehun, to which he let out an annoyed groan. “Oh come on, I was just telling the truth!”

“Please don’t ever sit with us again,” Yeri replied, her voice quipped and icy.

Sehun directed his eyes onto your risen figure and fell back into his chair. “Don’t tell me you’re actually upset, I can’t be the first person to say that,” his eyebrows were raised, as if he was telling a funny joke. He knew he had an audience, everyone in the cafeteria was watching. This was what he enjoyed doing, tormenting you.

Breathe. Don’t let this jerk see how much his stupid comments actually affect you. Don’t cry now. Too late. You could already feel the oncoming tears threaten to break out. Everyone had a tipping point, you couldn’t blame yourself. Being called fat was definitely a breaking point, especially when it was in front of a crowd.

“You’re despicable, I hate you,” you murmured towards him, careful to keep a straight face. If he saw you cry, you would automatically lose.

Sehun, to your surprise, didn’t say anything back. He only looked at you in complete silence as like the rest of the spectators.

Before you could full-on burst into tears, you rushed out of the room, the hallways already getting glassy from your eyes. People only glanced at you as you stumbled by, no one asking you if you were okay.

You had never hated anyone as much as you hated Oh Sehun, after that incident you vowed to avoid him at all costs, no matter what.

——

You watched from behind the front doors as rain started to pour. Not only was it raining harder than ever before, you didn’t have a ride either. Yeri had to go home early, and she was your only form of transportation to get back home. The last bus of the day had already left, and you didn’t know anyone else to ask for a ride. You were quite positive about the fact that the day could not get any worse than it already was.

The rain outside pounded on the pavement, as you watched each person leave in a car or in an umbrella. No one paid much attention to you, they were all focused on not getting drenched in the spring shower.

You blew a strand of stray hair out of your face and tried not to focus on your hungry stomach. This was the first time so far today, that you actually had a chance to breathe. After the cafeteria incident, you briefly went to the bathroom to curse out Sehun before returning to your hectic work schedule. Which meant that you didn’t have a single spare moment to catch a quick bite. This was in no way healthy for you, but you weren’t going to complain. When have you ever? Maybe that’s why it was so easy for people like Sehun to step all over you like a welcome mat. Why were you thinking about him again? You aren’t supposed to. Not after what he said to you.

You were so wrapped up in your thoughts that you didn’t even notice the lanky boy walking past you. He must’ve not noticed you either as he swiftly pushed open the door and brought his briefcase over his head. You watched as Sehun ran across the rainy grounds, into the entrance of the apartments that were close to your company building.

You felt yourself straighten up a little, at the realization that he lived so close to the workplace. Why didn’t you notice it before? There was a reason why he was always the first one to arrive and the last to leave. You felt yourself squinting a little, watching as Sehun tried to pat dry his briefcase after going under the entrance roof of the apartment.

“Lucky bastard..” You muttered underneath your breath, and quickly scanned around to see if anyone overheard you.

As more and more people pushed past you to get home, you realized that you couldn’t stand here forever. You couldn’t call Yeri, there was no way you would make her drive all the way back just to pick up your sorry ass. Unfortunately, without her, you virtually had no other friends in the company. You much preferred alone time than anything else, plus it was incredibly difficult to befriend any of the snarky gossipy ladies in the office. When they weren’t gushing over Sehun, they would be backstabbing someone else. Quite frankly, neither of those topics seemed appealing enough to be involved in.

You started to count your opinions about how you were going to have to spend the night. Walk home? That was out of line, you lived thirty minutes away and plus it was raining extremely hard. Sleep in the office? Yeah right, that wasn’t going to happen either, it was already stressful enough being here in the morning. A Cab? You only had coins left in your purse.

Your thoughts were suddenly interrupted as you felt someone push by you, nearly making you topple over. “Watch it!” You shouted out in annoyance. Were you invisible or something?  

You looked up from brushing your sleeve and came face to face with Sehun. Well, more like his backside. He was clearly in a rush and didn’t even bother to turn back around to apologize. Suddenly, a thought came to mind as you silently watched him rapidly press the elevator button, stringing out a list of incoherent words while tapping his foot.

I’ll ask the jerk to give me money for a cab home. He owes me that at least, after making a complete fool of me. I swore to never talk to him again, but right now I’m in a state of emergency. I’ll go back to ignoring him after this is over.

Without a moment’s hesitation, you walked right up to the tall boy that was still waiting for the elevator. Sehun noticed you right away, and at once his expression changed into one that was unreadable.

“Hey, lend me money for a cab ride home,” you asked, with your face set in a straight line and your arm extended. For some reason, right when you brought out your hand, you started to feel a little bit light-headed and distorted, but you just chalked it down to your sudden movements.

Sehun only looked at you with a plain face, his eyebrows slightly arched. With his dress shirt slightly wet and his hair tousled a little, you could understand why the ladies in the office loved to talk about him. Too bad his personality stunk, not to mention after what he had pulled earlier, you couldn’t have cared for him less.

“Do I look like a charity bag to you?” Sehun replied, in the most obnoxious tone that you had ever heard from him. “No.”

You didn’t budge, you weren’t going anywhere without your money. “You owe me.”

“Owe you for what, telling you the truth?” Another one of his famous smirks reappeared on his face, and all you could think about was slapping it off.

Before you had the chance to give him a snide response, you felt spots start to appear behind your eyes, and the ground starting to shake. “Oh my god..” you managed to murmur, as you felt the floor swallow you up in complete darkness.

———————————

“Wake up!”

You woke up with a sudden start, your cheek burning from the sudden cold sensation. Your heart was beating at a rapid pace as you clumsily moved the ice pack away from your face. You were sitting upright on someone’s couch, in a place that you had never seen before. It was sparsely decorated, and the furniture was minimal. It only took a couple of seconds for you to realize that Sehun was kneeling beside the couch, studying you intently.

You felt your breathing hitch up in your throat as you noticed his presence. His hair was matted and wet. Most likely from the recent shower that he just took, evident from the white towel slung around his neck. For some reason, seeing him in just a plain black t-shirt and white shorts made you turn pink.

“God you’re so annoying, who faints like that?” Sehun started to say, taking his towel from around his neck and placing it on top of his wet hair. “I had to carry you all the way to my apartment, you’re lucky it wasn’t far.” He had begun to tousle the towel in-between his hair, specks of water were flying everywhere.

All of a sudden, you started to get mad all over again, but once you rose up from the couch your head started pounding. Sehun must’ve noticed your uneven footing, but once he tried to gesture you back onto the couch you maneuvered away and headed for the door. You were sick of him. Absolutely appalled.

“Where do you think you’re going?” You could hear Sehun yelling at you from his place beside the couch. “You’re going to faint out there again!”

Just like that, a fuse inside of you broke lose. You stormed back towards him, in full rage mode, despite your hurting headache. Once you were close enough to him, you leaned down far enough to reach him at eye level. “No one asked you to help me, alright?!” Your voice had gotten loud and shrill, startling him enough for him to stop drying his hair. “You should’ve just left me there, instead of carrying this big old fat girl all the way to your apartment!”

You had never felt more enraged in your entire life. You were sure that your face was red with anger, and you probably looked like an absolute mess. Sehun could only stare at you with disbelief and astonishment, his hands slacked at his side.

“Do you get some sort of sick pleasure, tormenting me everyday?” You were on the verge of tears, but you continued to push on. “My life is already a living hell, I don’t need someone like you making it worse!”

Then, like a switch had turned on, you thought of the best solution. “That’s it, I quit. I don’t care if it’ll take me another three months to find another job. I just don’t want to see you again.”

The sudden relief made your tears spill over and down onto your cheeks, but you quickly wiped them away. Sehun had started to get up at this point, but you were much too busy trying to stop your sniffles to notice that he had thrown his towel to the side, and stepped closer towards you.

“Don’t cry,” he said, in a tone that you had never heard from him before. It was a soft and comforting tone. A tone he had not once used around you.

You could only manage a response that was half a weak laugh and half sniffling. “Isn’t that what you wanted? To see me cry?” You locked eyes with him. “Well, you win.”

Sehun only looked at you with an unreadable gaze, droplets from his hair was starting to collect at the collar of his shirt, but he didn’t seem to care. His focus was only set on you, but your mind was elsewhere. You were going to call Yeri to pick you up, she would understand your situation. All you knew, was that you wanted to get far away from him as possible.

Once you had turned around, you felt fingers holding you back. “I like you, _____.”

Your head whipped back around so fast it was a blessing that you didn’t strain your neck. “What did you just say?”

Sehun let out a small huff, his eyes averting elsewhere in embarrassment before staring back at you. “I said, that I like you.”

Your facial expression was completely blank. This was clearly a joke, it had to be. No decent human being would’ve treated someone they liked as cruelly as he ever did to you. “I told you that I’m sick of your stupid games, I’m leaving.”

You didn’t let him slip in another word as you pulled out of his grip and started to walk back down the hall. The sooner that you got out of here, the better.

“Wait, please!” Sehun zoomed past you, just to block his front door with his entire body. His face changed into the look of someone frantic. You could barely recognize him anymore, who was this?

“Move, let me get home.” Your head was killing you, the panicky boy in front of you was of little interest compared to how you were currently feeling.

“I’m not letting you leave until you let me talk.”
“Fine, make it quick,” you reply back harshly, with your eyes shut, trying to cancel out the throbbing pain you felt.

Sehun let out a long shaky breath, before speaking, “I’ve liked you for a very long time _____, but I couldn’t act on it because there’s a no dating policy in our company.”

You still weren’t buying it. After everything that he had done to you, you deserved to be suspicion. But, you remained quiet as he spoke.

“So, everything that I have ever done to you, was all just to try to distance myself away from you. I didn’t know that it affected you that much, if I had known sooner, I would’ve stopped.” Sehun looked worried, his eyes kept on looking away from yours, and every second he would scratch the back of his head.

“Well, thanks for telling me, but I really don’t care.” That was a lie. You did care, but you didn’t want him to know. You still felt some sort of resentment towards him, and you weren’t sure if it was going to magically disappear with just a weak confession.

You reached for the doorknob, but you felt your body being pulled away, and instead enveloped inside of a hug. Sehun’s wet hair touched the side of your cheek as he held onto you. You could feel his erratic heartbeat, even his fingers were trembling around your shoulders.

“Please, forgive me, I’m so sorry,” Sehun began to profusely apologize to you, his words shaky. You weren’t sure if he was just extremely scared, or on the verge of tears.

You could smell soft lavender around his neck, the sudden scent brought back fresh tears. How long was it since you had hugged someone? Far too long. You had been away from home for a couple of months and you thought you had adjusted to living alone, but it was clear you weren’t.  

All you wanted to do at this exact moment, was to be here in his arms. Forget everything that had happened earlier, and just stay here. Even if this warmth was only temporary, you felt like all of the weight was being lifted off of your shoulders. You didn’t even care about the fact that he was trembling like a mouse, you still felt safe beneath his arms.

———————

It had been a couple weeks after the so-called “fainting” incident. Nothing more happened besides that hug that night. You had called Yeri to come pick you up, and you felt incredibly thankful that she didn’t have a curious personality. You weren’t sure where you and Sehun stood now. Did he want you to be his girlfriend? Were you guys enemies? Friends?

After that night, your head cleared up and you came to your senses. You couldn’t quit, despite what your lunatic self said the night before. However, you realized that Sehun didn’t show up for work the next morning. Or the day after. Then after a full week, it was clear that he had quit altogether. His desk was cleared out, and it was like he didn’t exist in the first place. At first, you were relieved, but then afterwards you started to feel conflicted. That rainy night wasn’t nothing, it still held some sort of value to you.

The craziest things started to happen the following week. It first began with you receiving white tulips on your desk. In the beginning, you assumed that it was just a mistake. There was no sender’s note or any indication of who gave them to you. Things started to take a spin, as you received a fresh new bouquet every single day. The office ladies were clearly jealous, you were the star of their gossiping news every morning, with them trying to rule out who sent them to you. Third week, you didn’t get a bouquet on your desk and you were slightly relieved that they had stopped coming. You were running out of places to put them. But instead of on your desk in the early morning, you received them through the arms of a slender boy in the late of night. Sehun would stand outside the front entrance with white tulips, as you made your way out to go home. He didn’t miss a day, even on the nights that you had to stay later than usual, you were sure that he would’ve went home. Except that he still stood there, with an undeterred persistence. In some way, this was his way of apologizing, and perhaps trying to show you that he wasn’t a bad person. And in some other crazy way, you started to feel something for him. At first it was small, like a tiny bud. Then you realized that you actually looked forward to when you got off of work, more than usual. You became excited to see him, waiting out there for you. It was also an added plus to see the jealous faces of the girls who noticed his dedication towards you.

Then, on that faithful Friday night, things took a turn.

You were heading down your stairs, your footsteps faster than usual. You weren’t going to deny the fact that you were ecstatic to see him. Although you were a bit worried as you were later than usual, late enough for all the other employees to have left before you. But you were positive that he would still be out there, he always was. You were practically bouncing from toe to toe, as you made your way down to the glass doors. As you neared, you noticed that his familiar stature wasn’t present. There was no giant bouquet of flowers near by either. You felt a frown start to appear on your face, you couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Then you came to the conclusion that he probably waited for you but left because you took too long. Yeah, that’s probably why.

With a final sigh, and adjusting of your bag, you started to walk out until you felt someone tap your shoulder. You turned and audibly gasped at the sight of a silver couple ring.

“_____, I know no one does this anymore, but will you be my girlfriend?” Sehun asked in a sincere voice, his fingers were visibly shaking as he lightly held onto the little piece of jewelry.

You stood there, completely baffled, your voice seemed to have completely vanished as you witnessed this tall boy standing in front of you. He had even gelled his hair, the night lights reflected off of his slicked locks.

Sehun must’ve noticed your hesitation and still figure, he stood there with you for a couple of seconds before getting on one knee.

“Wait what are you doing?” You say out loud, your voice finding it’s way back in pure confusion.

“____, will you marry-“

You didn’t waste a single second to swipe the ring from his nimble fingers and place it onto your own. “Okay okay, I’ll be your girlfriend!”

Sehun merely laughed at the sudden outburst of action from you, and got up.

“Is now a good time to say that this ring was cheaper than all of the flowers?”

————————

I hate people who claim “diets don’t work”. Well you are doing crash diets.
I’ve been the same weight for 3 years now because I don’t over eat and I try to move my ass as much as possible.
95% of people in my family are overweight, doesn’t make it genetics. I have a wide frame but I’m not fat.
Stop blaming everything else but yourself.