blame the fat

Like, in the US, most obese people are POOR, because unhealthy, high calorie, high fat, high salt foods are actually much cheaper than healthy foods. Our food system and health system are fucked and bizarre. I can get a cheese burger from McDonalds for less than a bag of carrots.

You are fighting the good fight when you said this @fandomsandfeminism, but I just need to correct this bit of misinformation so you can continue fighting with the right facts on your side. [source thread; cw fat phobia]

Poor people, and especially poor people of color, are indeed more likely to be fat than their richer and/or white counterparts. But the reason is not because “unhealthy” food is cheaper. 

Food insecurity is one important reason that poorer people are fatter. But the processes by which food insecurity leads to fatness has less to do with the types of foods people eat and more to do with the metabolic changes that result from cyclical starvation. [source]

 Also, the stress of social oppression changes people’s biochemistry in such a way that becoming fat is more likely. Stress hormones tip the balance towards growing the fat organ, even when food is scarce and people are malnourished. [source]

And being fat actually offers protection against many of the diseases that are caused by the stress of oppression and poverty – including cardiovascular disease, cancer, type 2 diabetes, kidney disease, and others. Once people develop these diseases of social oppression, being fat is actually a good thing. [source]

 Also, white supremacy is based in part on valuing a thin body type that is more common among white people of European ancestry, whereas many of the racial and ethnic groups that are marginalized under white supremacy also happen to be fatter, or at least, prone to fatness under certain circumstances. Old timey racists basically latched onto fat phobia as a means of further oppressing and excluding the people they wanted to oppress and exclude. [source]

So basically, poor people are fat for a whole host of reasons that have nothing to do with the cost of McDonalds. That is actually just a fat phobic myth that allows privileged people to “blame” poor fat people for their body size and the poor health status that is incorrectly attributed to that body size. It’s easy to avoid responsibility for social oppression when poor people are just fat and sick because they make made food choices, am I right? Yuck. [read more]

I know you wouldn’t want to perpetuate that type of harmful and abusive ideology, so it’s a good idea if you – and all of us – stop spreading that myth around!

Blame me for your weight gain. I did this to you. I made you eat everything, every day, nonstop. Whisper in my ear how it’s my fault for turning you into an obese, blubbery, doughy fat ass. Tell me that my encouragement is the reason for your extra 30, 40, 50 pounds. Blame me for your obesity. Blame me for your massive thighs and pillowy arms. Blame me for 3XL shirts that will be snug in about a month. Blame me for soft fat that bounces at the slightest touch and sits between your huge thighs. Blame me for your breathlessness and insatiable appetite

What fat-acceptance is supposed to be like: you’re going on a diet? I’m so happy for you! You finally decided to start nourishing your body with nutritious food instead of fats

What it’s actually like: you’re going on a diet??? I’m sooo sorry!! I can’t believe society is making you feel like you’re not good enough. Wouldn’t you rather be treating yourself to pizza and sweets? If you go to the gym and start eating salads you’ll become anorexic, and you don’t want that, do you?

Here's the thing...

You guys are mad about fat positive posts because you’re under the belief that fatness is entirely preventable and that it always equals being unhealthy.

Neither of those statements are true. And we’ve already delved a little into how being fat doesn’t necessarily equal unhealthy so let me ask you a question based on the idea of preventability.

Should we tell people this blog isn’t a safe space for those with skin cancer? It’s usually preventable. How about the flu? If you get the flu should we not be supportive of you? You could have washed your hands more. Stayed in your house. There’s a lot of ways to prevent the flu. Oooh!

You don’t get to blame people for being fat. Fatphobia is real and the amount of shaming fat people experience is ridiculous.

You know what helps people make healthy decisions for their bodies? Good mental health. You know what makes for good mental health? Being supported, loved, told that you are okay just the way you are and you are worthy.

You know what leads to unhealthy behaviours and unhealthy bodies? Poor mental health. You know what can contribute to poor mental health? Being shamed. Told you’re less than. Told you’re unacceptable.

When I was shamed about my body, I dived head first into an eating disorder. And guess what? Suddenly I was acceptable and fine just the way I was, because I wasn’t fat anymore. Oh… Despite the fact that my physical health was much worse than when I was obese.

When I was fat and shamed for it, I was too scared and embarrassed to exercise. To be seen. I was too scared to buy vegetables because people would see and think “who is she kidding?”

Acceptance leads to good mental health which leads to good physical health.

Oh. And also, even if someone is unhealthy, that is their business.

We are here to promote good mental health and a healthy relationship with food. Some people are still on that journey and that’s great! We are here to support them on that journey no matter their size. Some people have completed that journey and their natural settled weight is outside of what society considers acceptable. That’s also great!

So please stop sending us fatphobic messages. You’re not going to change our minds. And if the idea of someone existing in this world at a weight you deem unacceptable is SO terrible to you, the unfollow button is easy to find. :)

Everything to me (Simon Request)

The tweets were endless. Mentions of you not being good enough for him. Tagging you in photos where Simon was without you. Saying he was happier then. Anything you tweeted yourself would get hate. If you even thought about replying to a tweet from your boyfriend, they’d all attack you with their words once again. It was easier to stay clear of all of it. But Simon claimed you shouldn’t have to do that.
Disabling his comments hadn’t helped. It only fuelled their hatred claiming that ‘you had made him do this’. They said that things were so different since you had been with him. And you were scared that now you were beginning to admit it might be true.
You looked at yourself in the mirror and couldn’t see anything good anymore. You hadn’t felt like this in a while. Not since you had Simon. He made you forget about all of your insecurities. But now that had changed. Those comments and those tweets had changed it.
You now saw how your stomach wasn’t completely flat. You didn’t have the shadows of ab muscles forming or a gap between your legs that was somehow aspirational. You had skin on your thighs that was definitely unwanted and you couldn’t fit into the size six like the models could. Your cheeks were chubby from never really losing your baby feature and you couldn’t wear a crop top comfortably in the summer.
Every time your eyes skimmed over your body you seemed to find more and more features that you didn’t like. That you despised.
You hadn’t mentioned anything to your boyfriend. He knew that their words had affected you but not this much. Not so much that you couldn’t even look at yourself in the mirror anymore. To the point where you had considered leaving him just because it would make him happier. You cared about him more than anything and if you were stopping him from being himself, you would be the one to change that. Of course, he had never said to you that you had done anything to make him feel like that but the millions of subscribers had pressured you into believing it.
“(Y/n)?” Simon calls when he evidently walks into the room and you jolt your head towards the bathroom door just to make sure it was closed.
There were tears in your eyes now and he couldn’t see you like this.
“I’m in here” You reply loud enough for him to hear even with a croak in your voice.
“Hey babe” He chirps and you can see the cute smile on his face, “Do you wanna film a video with me and the guys? We’re thinking of starting a new series”
“Umm hang on a second” You quickly respond, tugging down the material of your ‘Sugg Life’ jumper that hung oversized on your body, “What were you thinking of doing?” You ask, closing the door behind you and going to find a pair of jeans or joggers that didn’t necessarily hug your legs as much…
“Like random games or GTA or dead by daylight and stuff but with you in it. Basically just us teaching you how to play” He explains happily, “You in?”
“I don’t know Simon, I’m not feeling too great” You lie, grabbing a pair of joggers and pulling them over your legs.
“Were you sick?” He frowns with evident concern, the smile slipping from his lips.
“No no I just… I’m gonna go lie down for a while” You nod, “I’ll go in the spare room”
“Don’t be silly, you can stay in here” He assures you, “Everyone knows you live here anyway”
“Its okay” You force a smile onto your lips, leaning up to kiss his cheek, “Enjoy filming”
You don’t notice how worried Simon looks as you walk away. You just felt so enclosed that you had to get out.
~~~Simon’s POV~~~
I was concerned now. Something wasn’t right. And as my thumb clicked onto twitter, I could tell why. Her mentions were full of hate. And these were only the ones I had been tagged in. She must’ve seen so much more. Tweet after tweet pushing more and more negative thoughts into her mind. And none of them were true. I loved my viewers but did they really have to be like this? I could only imagine how upset she was. She was sensitive even if she didn’t admit it.
And with this, I couldn’t blame her.
‘Kill yourself you fat bitch’
‘Haven’t seen Simon look so fed up since I started watching him. It’s her’
‘She needs to start using those fat legs of hers and walk out’
‘Who the fuck even thinks Simon likes this girl?’
‘I feel bad for Simon. He must be desperate if he’s with that fat fuck’
The anger bubbled in my stomach until the controller I had been planning on using to use for filming goes flying across the room and crashes against the wall.
“I was gonna ask if you were gonna join the call but that can wait” Josh starts, leaning against the wall of my room, “What’s going on?”
“I need to talk to (y/n)” I sigh, getting up, “Record without me yeah?”
“Sure but, are you sure everything’s okay?”
“No, but I just need to speak to her,” I nod and head outside, going straight to the spare room.
~~~Your POV~~~
You were sat on the bed with your laptop on your legs, replying to some emails from work and generally just catching up on a few things when Simon came in.
“I thought you were filming” You frown.
“Nope” He shrugs, reaching out his hand, “Come here”
“What are you doing?” You question as he lifts you up to stand.
“You’re coming with me beautiful” He mentions simply, leading you out of the room and downstairs.
“Babe what’s wrong with you?” You chuckle slightly as he hands you a pair of shoes and slips on his own.
He leads you silently to the car and you climb inside without protest even if you didn’t feel up to it.
It was dark outside now. The clear sky forming a sheet of stars above the house and the moon reflecting the past light of the sun.
Simons hand doesn’t leave yours as he drives and you keep your eyes focused on his adorable face with his glasses perched on his nose. They were right. You didn’t deserve him.
He soon parks up and you notice he’s taken you to the top of a cliff where the pair of you had gone after a date before. It was the place of your first kiss.
“Why are we here?” You frown and he sits down on a large rock with you beside him.
“So I saw those tweets” He starts, fingers absentmindedly playing with yours.
“Si-” You start
“And I know they would’ve upset you” He comments with all too much truth, “And I don’t know where to start (y/n)”
“You don’t have to” You shake your head, feeling guilty now.
“They mean nothing babe” He states simply, “I don’t give a fuck about 140 characters on a tweet. I don’t give a fuck about your mentions. I don’t give a fuck if they say it every single day. I only care about it affecting you. Because it shouldn’t”
“Its endless Simon. Every single thing I do they seem to have something against” You look down, “I’m starting to think they’re telling the truth”
“Bullshit” He states simply, “They could say a thousand things and it wouldn’t matter. They could say a million times that you’re not good enough or whatever and I still wouldn’t care”
“Look at me Simon” You exclaim, “There’s Sarah and Freya and Katie and Kay and Emily and then there’s me. I’m not beautiful like them, I can’t take a selfie that I look good in. Hell, I don’t even take photos on my own. I don’t look good in tight clothes, I always just wear sweats. Im nothing compared to them”
“(Y/n), do you remember when we first met? Because I do. 3 years ago. You were at the restaurant and you served us. I remember you said something about JJ and it made all of us laugh. And we spent the night chatting to you because by the time we left, it was hours after you should’ve closed. And I remember every time you walked away I realised more and more how beautiful you were. You liked sport even if you did prefer rugby and you liked video games especially gta and you had this fascinating life outside of that small restaurant that I was mesmerised by the more and more you spoke. You were stunning in your simplicity. You didn’t need makeup or perfectly done hair. You were you and to me, that was everything. And that’s not going to change”
You have tears in your eyes now. Simon was never one to speak like that.
“Think of it this way” He nods, squeezing your hand, “I fell in love with you and that’s what should matter, don’t let my viewers stop you from remembering that”
“Thank you” You mutter, the tears threatening to slip from your eyes as they built up more and more.
“Don’t cry babygirl” He whispers, the pad of his thumb wiping under your eyes quickly, “We all have these days. Yours just aren’t necessary” He chuckles and you smile.
“We should probably get back. You have filming to do right?” You sigh, knowing moments like these never lasted long.
“YouTube can wait”

“I’m so sorry.”

A/N: guess who’s back. back again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You, Shawn and the rest of his team we’re eating dinner at some restaurant. The food there was delicious and everyone thought the exact same.

Everyone was eating happily and enjoying themselves and you were in a conversation with some woman in Shawn’s team about life at home. You were sitting next to Shawn and he was in a deep conversation with Geoff.

You were kind of happy you went to this dinner. You hadn’t been feeling very well, because you had been reading a lot of hate comments online lately and you just couldn’t put it out of your head. Everyone was telling you to lose a bit of weight and to be honest, you didn’t blame them. You weren’t fat or something but you could lose a couple of pounds. So that’s what you were trying to achieve.

You had been skipping meals and working out more and Shawn hadn’t mentioned it so you were pretty sure he wasn’t catching up on it yet, if you could just lose a couple of pounds you would be content.

You guys had just finished dessert and were about to leave when you excused yourself to go to the bathroom real quick. Shawn was still deep in a conversation with Geoff so you just announced it and went to go and look for the bathroom. You knew that what you were doing was wrong but the dinner you just ate held a lot of calories and it just didn’t feel right, you had to get rid of it.

You did your thing, washed up yourself, put in a gum with mint flavor and went back because they were about to leave.

When you got back to the table Shawn was waiting for you. As soon as he spotted you, you asked him. “Where is everyone?”

“They went back to the cars, ours is waiting at front.” Shawn looked into your eyes looking for some answers and you felt like he knew what was going on but you weren’t giving in.

“Ok let’s go.” You said and the two of you walked to the car.

As the two of you sat in the car with just the driver holding you company you felt Shawn grabbing your hand tightly and rubbing his thumb over it.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m great, why wouldn’t I be?”

‘Don’t lie to me Y/N.” Shawn simply said. You got confused and looked at him only to see he was already looking at you with sad eyes.

“I know what you’ve been doing. Don’t be so surprised that I figured it out, my only question is why?” Shawn asked.

You let go of his hand and turned your head away from him.

“It’s nothing don’t worry about it.” You really didn’t want to talk about this with him and especially because the driver could hear every single detail of your convo and you really didn’t want stories going around about you.

Shawn kept quiet because he knew what you were thinking and he didn’t blame you, but as soon as the two of you arrived back at the hotel he sat you down.

“I want an explanation.”

“You don’t need one.” You answered him.

“Y/N stop being so stubborn I want to help because what you have been doing is not healthy one bit.”

“So what? I’m losing weight? Everyone should be happy about it. Especially your so-called fans.” You exclaimed and the room fell quiet.

Shawn looked at you with sad eyes. “I’m so sorry I didn’t notice this earlier.” He said.

“Don’t apologize it isn’t your fault.”

“You don’t need to lose weight, they are just being complete assholes. I love you and your body.” He said and pulled you closer by the waist. “Don’t go and do these things on your own, talk to me last time, I don’t want you dealing with this on your own I love you I want to help.”

You just nodded and buried your head into Shawn’s neck breathing in his scent taking in this moment. “I love you.” Shawn whispered into your ear. “So much, please don’t let anyone change you.”

anonymous asked:

I just saw a post that talks about "how obesity affects surgical procedures" and seems to argue that fat patients, rather than un- or undertrained medical professionals, are the problem. I'm livid. I'm very fat, I had major thoracic surgery, and my surgeon has NEVER, in 1.5 years, even mentioned my weight. Not once! It's baffling to me that apologists continue to blame fat people for being "difficult" to treat when there are so many "difficult" populations who receive adequate care all the time.

I share your rage. For example, if they can figure out how to safely perform surgeries on teensy tiny babies, then they can darn well figure out how to safely perform surgeries on fat people too.

Our world is full of people of all sizes and shapes and that variety should be protected, not limited. There’s no reason in blaming fat people for wasting food. Instead of investing your energy in how much a fat person eats look into how much industries waste, how much water companies steal, how much grocery stores throw out. It’s not our resources you care about, it’s the chance to hate others.

Although my body and I have reached if not peace, at least a state of détente, “fat” remains how I experience anger, dissatisfaction, disappointment. I feel “fat” if I can’t master a task at work. I feel “fat” if I can’t please those I love. “Fat” is how I blame myself for my failures. “Fat” is how I express my anxieties. A psychologist once told me, “Fat is not a feeling.” If only it were that simple. As for so many women, the pathology of self-loathing is permanently ingrained in me. I can give in to it, I can modify it, I can react against it with practiced self-acceptance, but I cannot eradicate it. It frustrates me to consider what else I might have done with the years of mental energy I have wasted on this single, senseless issue.
—  Peggy Orenstein (b. November 1961) is the author of the New York Times best-sellers Cinderella Ate My Daughter and Waiting for Daisy, a memoir.

anonymous asked:

I'm certainly not glad that Bob Harper from Biggest Loser had a heart attack, and I hope he makes a full recovery. But I wish this could me some kind of moment like, oh, look, thin people have heart attacks, maybe stop harassing fat people.

When a thin person like Bob Harper has a heart attack, it’s blamed on genetics. When a fat person has a heart attack, it’s blamed on our size – or rather, the eating and activity habits that are wrongly assumed to cause our size

That is fat phobic health science in a nut shell.

I hope this change in his health status means he will no longer be able to earn money by abusing fat people.

A few reminders for everyone

It is not always your fault.

If people hurt you, you are not to blame.

If you make a mistake, it’s okay; we all make mistakes.

If you hurt someone, it isn’t ‘weak’ to apologise.

Practice helps. Draw, write, dance, run; mastery isn’t instant.

It isn’t bad to cry. Let it out. Everyone cries at some point.

If you don’t cry a lot, that’s okay. If you do cry a lot, that’s okay too.

A meal will not make you “fat”.

Being fat isn’t bad. Fat =/= Ugly.

Being skinny isn’t bad. Skinny=/= Ugly.

You are loved. You will always be loved.

You are important. You’ll always be important.

You are handsome, beautiful, amazing, and a masterpiece who deserves  respect and love.

You. Matter.