he killed a man with his bare fucking hands. that should be reason enough to not fucking fight aaron hotchner.
you could fight her and you’d probably lose, but life is already fighting her and winning so please don’t fight emily prentiss. give her a hug instead, maybe get her some coffee. don’t fight her.
she may look smol and non-threatening, but she will fucking beat the piss out of you in about 10 seconds flat. so don’t fight jennifer jareau, unless you enjoy being round-house kicked in the face.
do not fight derek morgan because he is derek morgan.
you could fight spencer reid and win, but why would you have any reason to fight spencer reid? because he beat you in a chess tournament? or keeps rambling about doctor who? why are you trying to fight that human lemur?
you’d definitely win the fight, but fighting her would be like whaling on a kitten so you’re going to hell if you decide to fight penelope garcia. plus morgan would come and kill you. so don’t fight garcia.
why are you still considering fighting fbi agents? don't fight alex blake? she could kill you? are you ok?
she hasn't been on the team long, but it's already apparent that you Should Not Fight Her.
he is a complete asshole and you should fight him. beat his ass. he’s dead but you can still kick the shit out of his corpse, please.
don’t fight elle unless you have a death wish honestly why is this even under consideration.
she has 3 guns. don’t fight her.
he may be up there in years, but he could still fucking beat your ass and nobody would feel bad for you. don't fight david rossi.
not-so-secretly a spy, pretends to be past her emo phase- is actually still really emo, speaks 458379803854 languages, lowkey ninja, super chill, the older sister, drives with the windows down, straight up eats ice cubes for no reason, listens to emo music in her room, quiet in a loud sort of way, her laugh is actual magic, wears too much black to be considered healthy, always just a little bit angry, really bad at being the designated driver (always ends up being the most drunk), always up for a good party, cats are her spirit animal, deepest desire is to be a crazy cat lady, knows how to hold her licquor freakishly well, turns 21 every year, cooler than everybody else
eats cheetos like oxygen, little sister/middle child, hair is always perfect, can eat all the junk food she wants without gaining any weight, can kill you with his ninja hands, smells really nice, somehow knows everybody's secrets, good listener, smiles a lot, just really wants to fall in love one day, the popular cheerleader that everybody actually likes, listens to indie music, never not fabulous, wants to have a ton of kids, brings home strays without telling anyone, always the first to volunteer to take care of the class pet
that weird neighbor kid that's just always around, nicknamed "the baking grandma" because of the inexplicable way she has of always having baked goods on hand, "Garcia's the name, and witty comebacks are my game", perfect ray of sunshine, an actual human rainbow, everybody has to have at least one pefectly peculiar nickname, will kill you with her ninja-hugs, has a gigantically beautiful sparkling smile, bright pink lipstick, wears too many colors at once, really good at helping you through a breakup, butterscotches in her purse, might be a grandma, computer nerd, can beat anybody at video games, afraid of guns, tries to be tough but doesn't know how, would wear pure glitter if she could, doesn't have a favorite color because if she chose then she would feel bad for all the other colors (it's actually pink)
the undeniable dad, loves everybody equally, shows people love without words, you know you're in trouble when he gives you one of his famous "hotch glares", only really laughs when he's with the people he loves, his smile will make your knees weak, likes to spoon, strong and silent type, always wears suits for no reason, works too much, secretly a sinnamon bun, will kill you if you mess with the people he loves, cares too much, the proud dad, shows up to ALL recitals and shows, equally passionate and compassionate, crazy good at his job, nobody knows his secrets, secretly amazing at throwing surprise parties, can not bake to save his life, his smile is like the moon and the stars combined, tries to make dad jokes and fails
king of the dorks, the precious little brother, must be protected at all costs, obsessed with Halloween, plans Halloween an actual year ahead of time, drinks coffee through an IV, book worm, facts, books make him feel safe, refuses to play video games, thinks he's tough but is actually a precious cinnamon bun, owns too many sweaters, purple is definitely his favorite color, apologizes too much, drinks a lot of water, lost count of the number of PhDs he has a long time ago, awkward, never knows what to say, bad social skills, social anxiety, chess tournaments make him happy, eats a lot of cake, owns a scooter
the amazing big brother, looks out for everyone else before himself, kicks the bullies in the nuts, burgers and fries all the time, captain of the football team but also organizes fundraisers for the needy, likes working out, shovels neighbors' sidewalks/ mows neighbors' lawns without asking, loves and appreciates dogs, lowkey believes that cats are the anti-christ, helps old people cross the street, grocery store runs are always his job, goes on long bike rides just to think
aka Captain Sass, the weird uncle, nosy but he's rich so it's okay, DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO STAY IN HIS LANE, always offers to babysit but he has no idea how children work, has so many stories that just can't be true but actually are, thinks he's cool and hip- might actually be but tbd still, somehow knows all, shows up at random times, can cook REALLY REALLY WELL, super Italian, thrives on pasta
crazy bird guy that lives across the street, makes pecan squares that he thinks are amazing but actually aren't, secretly paints in his basement (like Bob Ross-level paintings), people watches from his front window, awkward pats on the back, doesn't always understand social cues, throws A+ garage sales, yells at other people for not raking the leaves off their lawn in the fall, raises chickens without telling anyone
can stab you with a knife, a gun, a chainsaw, and a machete all at the same time, mean older sister, WILL call you on your shit, thinks about death too much, everybody is afraid of her, skipped the emo phase, somehow came out of the womb a traumatized adult, 100% feminist, steals your food when you're not looking, doesn't like hugs, says it like it is, wears a lot of necklaces, confusing, has a thing for a guy in a uniform
has a lot of friends, seems really badass until she starts gushing about baby animals, volunteers at animal shelters, sorority sister, infinitely loyal, loves everybody until she hates them, knows how to appreciate the simple things, 5'2" of rage and fury and love, pure emotion, loves to cuddle, sometimes people confuse her, just wants to make the world a better place, hates vegetables but eats them anyway, drinks a lot of chocolate milk
reads a lot, blue is her favorite color, went to college earlier than normal, a beautiful nerd, a rare species, deserves the world but gets a cup of coffee instead, underestimated, knows how and when to pull out the sass, ends up being the babysitter on all occasions, more mature than she should be, extremely level-headed, knows how to read between the lines really well, accepts everything thrown her way, underappreciated, needs to be told she's loved more often, breakfast is her favorite meal of the day, makes a lot of sandwiches for no reason at all
the cousin that everybody always forgets about, gets left behind on family outings and everybody has to go back to get her- she's strangely okay with it, just wants some kettle corn or cotton candy, puts ketchup on everything, shows up at colleges she's never been to just to party, okay with anything as long as she has a say, will talk to anybody, likes getting to know people, would totally speed-date, likes to watch old stand-up comedy and slam poetry videos on YouTube
won't admit that she's the mom, proud of all her children, owns 8 million sweatshirts from her alma mater that she constantly wears, kinda lonely but will never admit it, hates cooking with a passion, loves wine a little too much, seriously appreciates a good towel, would sell her soul for a massage
Hotch can’t leave. He just can’t. Spencer (and Penelope) have lost so many people over the last 12-ish years. Just when Spencer was getting close to Elle, she left. Gideon was the dad Spencer never had. Then he had to watch JJ leave. Then Emily. Then Maeve. Then Alex. Then Kate. Then his mom’s dementia. Then Derek. Now Hotch? Spencer is about to be in a living hell. I honestly don’t know if I’ll be able to watch it. Spencer has lost so many people and don’t get me wrong, I love Thomas Gibson and want him on the show, but if Hotch leaves, the only logical thing that could happen for Matthew Gray Gubler’s character is literally nothing good. I have never wished to work with Criminal Minds more than I do right now. I’ve grown up watching this show, and it showed me just what I want to be for a career. Yeah, okay I’m done. If you don’t know what’s going on please let me know and I’ll make another post about what I know. Thanks, I love you guys. And if Thomas Gibson doesn’t come back, I’ll still be here and so will this blog.
I’ve seen a couple of people posting what Hogwarts houses they think the BAU members belong to, so I’m chucking my hat into the ring.
Hufflepuff - Fair, loyal and hardworking. The best three words to describe Hotch. Hufflepuffs are actually described as ‘just and loyal…patient…true…unafraid of toil’…need I say more?
Gryffindor - I was torn about this one, but I decided that Rossi is probably the boldest and most daring BAU member. I also think he’s one of the team members who is most likely to speak his mind and standing up to authority. (Although young Rossi definitely would have been in Slytherin for his ambition.)
Ravenclaw - Undoubtedly, Reid’s a genius and loves learning. He also clearly values logic.
Gryffindor - chivalrous and brave are definitely characteristics of Morgan.
Slytherin - he’s surprisingly cunning and determined. Remember him threatening Calvin Shaw and even manipulating his former army friend? (“Like Yemen?) He’s also clearly loyal and dedicated to his friends.
Hufflepuff - loyal and hardworking. He clearly cared a lot about his family, but also wanted to make a difference in the world through his job.
Hufflepuff - sensitive and dedicated to helping others.
Gryffindor - again, this was a tough choice. I feel like in many ways Emily could be in Slytherin - particularly considering her work as an undercover agent and the whole Doyle storyline. But, above all, I think she’s one of the bravest and most self-sacrificing characters on the show.
Slytherin - I was torn between Slytherin and Hufflepuff to be honest. I settled on Slytherin based on her impressive abilities in her role as Communications Liaison. She’s also very determined and ambitious (don’t forget the amount of training she put in to become a profiler).
Ravenclaw - I could also see Hufflepuff, but I think people forget how brilliant and smart Garcia is. Intelligence isn’t just limited to logic and books either, creativity is also really important - I’m thinking of her as a more Luna Lovegood type character.
Slytherin - she’s definitely determined and ambitious. Don’t forget about all the extra responsibilities she takes on as a forensic psychologist. Also she didn’t allow her fiancé to hold her back from achieving her dreams.
Gryffindor - I could also imagine Slytherin, but I always felt as if Elle was more bold and assertive rather than particularly cunning. (I also think a Slytherin would have gotten away with murder because they’d be so sneaky about it.)
Slytherin - she seemed very driven and ambitious to me. This particularly showed in 52 pickup when she was willing to manipulate the victim’s family in order to solve the case.
Hufflepuff - I just think she always seemed quite an empathetic character. Maybe it was her own personal history influencing her caring nature? - Just going off the Drew Jacobs and trafficking cases.
Ravenclaw - definitely a Ravenclaw. She was highly intelligent and driven.
Gryffindor - she struck me as being quite brave and passionate. Again, a fine line between these characteristics and the determination of a Slytherin.
The rise and fall of your chest started to match your ragged breathing. Your chest began to tighten and hurt. Your eyes paced the bullpen, searching for the nearest exit. Placing your palms against your cold desk, you pushed yourself up and away from your chair. Your trembling legs felt like jelly as you started making your way out, accidently knocking over paperwork from another desk. This gained the attention of Hotch.
“ Y/n, are you okay?” Hotch voiced his concern. His words were muffled and your legs gave out as you fell to the floor. Your arm started to jerk and move uncontrollably, the shaking spread across your whole body. You let out grunts and moans, while people gathered around you. Hotch was there almost instantly. He placed his hand underneath your head to protect you from harming yourself. He turned you on your side and made sure you didn’t bite your tongue.
“Hotch, what’s wrong with her? Do you want me to call 911?” Derek was panicking and didn’t know what to do.
“Derek, I need you to calm down. Y/N has epilepsy. She didn’t want the rest of the team knowing. If she continues after four to five minutes, we’ll call an ambulance. I need you to help me hold her still, so she doesn’t hurt herself.” Hotch remained calm as the rest of the team watched on in shock. The two men held your legs and arms while you shook, trying to protect you. Your grunts began to calm down and the shaking began to lessen until you completely stopped.
“ Y/N…Y/N, can you open your eyes for me?” Hotch tried to say in his most soothing voice.
“Ughhhhh.” Your whole body was limp and sore. “Hhh…Hotch.” Your voice was shaky. Placing your elbows to the floor, you began to lift yourself up.
“Whoa, whoa, Y/N. You need to take it slow. You just had a seizure. Can you tell me where you are?” Hotch spoke again.
“I’m… I’m… At Quantico?” You said sounding unsure.
“That’s right, Y/N. How are you feeling?”
“I feel…tired Hotch”
“ I know you do, Y/N. I’ll drive you home.” His hands held yours as he pulled you up off the ground. His left hand supported your back as you walked out of the office and into the garage. Sitting against the cold leather seats soothed the slight pain in your legs. “Are you okay?” He asked. A smile crept up onto your face, you looked toward him and lent in to kiss him on the cheek.
“I’m okay. Thank you, Aaron.”
A big thank you to @jessiedangerous for helping me.