blah this is horrible


A/N: I’m gonna be quite honest. These past weeks I’ve been staying up until 6 am and waking up at 2 pm. One day I woke up and found I had written this in my notes. I don’t really remember writing it, but hey. Why not?

Spencer Reid meets his guardian angel and she’s nothing like he would have ever imagined. 

Originally posted by matthew-gray-gubler-trash-no1

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Drunk Headcanons- Gentlemen

“Alcohol does not change you, it just makes you lose control of your inhibitions. What those people did–it was inside them.” -Dan Howlter


  • Pre-cyborg? Definitely the sexual predator drunk. Can’t keep his hands off anyone, cat-calls, making offensive comments, and much more likely to make a move on you and wake up with you the next morning with no memory how he got there.
    • Liked all kinds of wild, new cocktails (Sakura martinis, Niagara Grapes, even Grasshoppers)
  • Even though he drank a lot back then, this pretty boy could never build up a proper tolerance. Two and a half cocktails in and he’s singing ebarassingly at the kareoke bar
  • Now, well, I’m not sure he can process alcohol in his new body
    • I mean, it hasn’t been explicitely said if he can eat and drink or not anymore, but I’m assuming not
    • This has actually been really bugging me, in one of his voice lines, he says “Ramen! *sigh* It’s just not the same anymore.”
    • Which raises the question if it’s just that he can’t eat or if things taste differently or don’t taste at all for him
      • Which then makes me wonder if he has a mouth, which I think he does uuugh, I’m so confused
    • And in the newest lines with him and Angela exchanging chocolates? Angela would know whether or not he can eat, so she either knows he can eat the chocolates or is just giving them to him as a kind gesture to show that even though he’s a cyborg, he still deserves the same courtesies given to regular humans
  • BUT for now, I’m going to assume he can’t drink anymore
    • Although he still has a brain, so that means his brain can still be intoxicated, so saying that he was somehow intoxicated through some other means…
  • He would be very unaccustomed to the feeling, after all, it’s been so long since he’s been tipsy or drunk
    • Gets very quiet and ponderous, examining himself curiously for any reasons why he feels buzzed (think Legolas after the drinking contest in Lord of the Rings)


  • As he says in the game, he prefers alcohol with more of a bite to it
    • So I’d say he prefers tequila, whisky, gin
    • Back in his Deadlock days, when he turned 16, the members probably gave him a little “initiation” involving a bottle of tequila, a lemon, Kosher salt, and a worm (look it up)
  • Drinking is a common part of Jesse’s life, and he almost always sipping on a glass of whisky in the evenings
    • Gets wasted at least once every two weeks
    • Not the most healthy lifestyle
  • But he’s pretty good at hiding that he’s drunk
    • Sure, he gets louder, sillier, maybe a little grope-y with his s/o, but when it comes to drunk tests, as long as there’s no breathalizers, he can walk a straight line like it’s nothing
    • Years of experience
  • He has a pretty high tolerance, he is a cowboy after all, and he can drink most anyone under the table
    • But after about 10 shots of tequila, he’s gonna get drunk


  • Back in his Overwatch days, probably went out drinking with Jack quite a bit
    • These two would usually have some cold beers, but on special nights, martinis or margaritas
    • I’d even headcanon that he used to make the martinis and margaritas for the two of them
    • Can probably still shake up a potent drink even now
  • Used to have drinking contests every now and then with Torbjorn, Jack, and Reinhardt. He had a friendly contest with Jack, but always resented Rein for winning 70% of the time
    • He came close to beating him once, but…
  • He has a pretty good alcohol tolerance even today, it’s just that he doesn’t drink much anymore (not sure if he even can in his ghostly form)
  • But even if he can drink as Reaper, he probably avoids drinking simply because it interferes with his work
    • Doesn’t want to look unprofessional
  • But before the fall of Overwatch, when he and Morrison were butting heads, he probably drank quite a bit to calm his nerves
    • And some nights he’d just drink, and drink, and drink…
  • A mix of the angry, emotional, and tired drunk
    • Starts off really pissed, maybe throwing things, complaining about how much he hates Overwatch
    • Then gets really emo and mopes. Back then it’d be about how he lost his friendship with Jack. Now it’d be about living as a literal ghost
    • Then just collapses and falls asleep

Soldier: 76

  • Back in his Overwatch days, probably went out drinking with Gabriel quite a bit 
    • These two would usually have some cold beers, but on special nights, martinis or margaritas
  • Used to have drinking contests every now and then with Torbjorn, Gabe, and Reinhardt
    • Almost always the first one out. Though, he has a decent tolerancy
  • Was probably still professional with his alcohol before the fall of Overwatch
    • He was the Strike Commander, after all
    • Only drank off-duty
  • Now, he’s a little less of gentleman and will drink beer and whisky whenever he feels like it
    • He’s a grizzly, war-worn old man, you think he cares?
  • He’s an angry and emotional drunk
    • He won’t start fights, but if someone says even remotely offensive about him or his friends, he’ll be up in their face!
    • But towards the end of the night, he’ll get really sad and will start to monologue about the “good ‘ol days”


  • Prefers sake or any smooth, sophisticated drink. Nothing with a “bite” to it like McCree likes
  • Has always been very responsible with his alcohol. He had an image to uphold after all, and that sense of duty has never left him
    • Slowly sips his sake, taking into account how much he’s had and when to stop
  • But he’s such a kill-joy when he drinks with friends or significant others
    • Always reminding them when they’ve gone over their limit, being dubious of whether or not they can handle certain drinks, and sometimes cutting them off entirely!
  • Very much like Symm when it comes to drinking. He’ll drink, but he doesn’t believe alcohol should be drank for the sake of getting drunk. It should be savored for its taste and history. Only drinks it to unwind
  • But he can still get drunk. Once he’s hit a nice buzz, his responsibility will begin to waver, and he’ll lose track of how much he’s had
    • Probably the emotional drunk, mumbling about how the Shimada empire was to be his, how horrible he was to kill Genji, blah blah blah…


  • Ooooh boy…Oh dear….
  • There is NOTHING this boy won’t drink (but it has to be confirmed alcohol. He will not drink turpentine or boot-shine just to get drunk)
  • But this boy won’t even shy away from moonshine!
  • For him, alcohol was MADE to get you drunk! Jamie doesn’t drink unless he is seriously aiming to get wasted!
    • But he’s not a total alcoholic. He never drinks when he’s on a heist because he knows it’ll affect his work
    • Only drinks when he knows he doesn’t have anywhere to be in the next 12 hours (this does not exclude day drinking)
  • Usually just drinks plain old amber fluid (Aussie slang for beer) since it’s the cheapest
  • Always makes sure his friends have something to drink along with him. Coldies for everyone!
    • But who said he was paying? Who said he didn’t steel the coldies?
  • Not sure what Jamison’s tolerancy is since he chugs his drinks too fast to keep track of. He wants to get on that high fast!
  • A loud, silly drunk who laugh maniacally and catches the bar on fire!


  • Despite his size, he can drink a lot.
  • In his drinking contests with Rein, Gabe, and Jack, he’d win occasionally
  • A very loud drunk who will do drunken jigs on the table


  • Good luck getting this man drunk. He’s drank some bars clean before
  • He’s seven feet tall, after all
  • Loves a good drinking contest since he knows he’ll usually win
    • But just like battle, he lives for that rush of competition as he swigs down another glass of beer, staring his opponent dead in the eyes
  • Prefers German beers with the occasional schnapps
  • IF somehow you got him drunk, I’m sorry
  • He’s loud and VERY unaware of his size and spatial relation
  • He’ll teeter around, knock things over, collapse into tables (breaking them), and knock people flat on their faces when he pats them on the back
  • And if he passes out, you’ll have to call a tow truck to haul him out of there


  • Doesn’t like to brag, but he has a tolerancy level to rival Reinhardt’s
  • Can often be caught day drinking on the couch with a coldie, even when he has somewhere to be that day (he can handle a few beers before then)
  • But usually doesn’t drink in front of people except Junkrat, since it requires him to lift up his mask or take it off entirely
    • If he were to brag about his drinking capabilities, then someone would try to get him to prove it, and he doesn’t want to take off his mask in public…
  • But then there’s Junkrat, bragging for him, “You wouldn’t believe how much my friend Roadie here can drink!”
    • “Mrrghh…” he grumble, “Shut. Up.”
  • The biggest, hungriest, sleepiest drunk. It’s hard to get him drunk, though
  • But once he is, he’ll suddenly start making drunk food decisions and ordering hugs amounts of food at once!
    • Then he’ll scarf it all down, let out a monstrous burp, and pass out…
  • You should have seen how much he ordered during Chinese New Year! Where do you think that highlight reel came from?


  • He likes a good drink as much as the average guy, but he’s always sure to be careful
  • An all-around wholesome guy who looks out for his friends too when they drink. Reminds them when it’s time to take a break, have a snack, or maybe stop all together
  • His favorite drinks are Jell-O shots and he loves drinking if it involves a drinking game
  • When he gets drunk, though, he’ll pull out his tunes and start playing them really loud!
    • Eventually he’ll dig up some irritating meme music and start blaring that, laughing hysterically to it
  • He’s been booted from a few clubs early in his career for playing annoying music. Now he knows when it’s time to be responsible.


  • Zenny can’t drink, but I’m sure there’s a way to screw with an omnics circuits and recreate a drunken feeling for them
  • And he’d be such a silly drunk! He is only 20 after all–sassy little college student…
  • The next morning he’d be so apologetic for anything he did. He’d say that he just wasn’t himself.
Tracy McConnell and Robin Scherbatsky DESERVED BETTER.

I’m still fucken bitter about this.

Tracy was used for creating the children that Ted wanted for him,
and then to go to Robin Scherbatsky (the ex-wife of one of your dearest friends), and just what “get back together”??

Was he in love with her the entire duration of his relationship/marriage with Tracy?

And Robin Scherbatsky, the woman who OVER AND OVER made it clear that she never loved Ted, in that way. THrough multiple seasons. To THEN just get together with the man that baggered her for quite some FUCKEN time. 

My Bloody Sweetheart (Part 4 (Final))

Originally posted by helvonasche

Summary: The reader is safe thanks to Dean…she thinks…

My Bloody Sweetheart Masterlist

Pairing: Demon!Dean x reader

Word Count: 2,900ish

Warnings: language, violence

A/N: Demon Dean, you’re something alright…

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Vegas | Tease | Oops | D | Game | Mistake

Series: Vegas

Note: For some reason, this part just took me a while to write. Writers block is a bitch. Buuuut, it’s finally here. Enjoy, loves.

Word Count: 2790

Pairing: Daveed Diggs x Reader

Warnings: SMUTTTT. but i mean, it’s Vegas, what else do you expect from this series? shower sex, horrible sense of humor (thanks rafa), cursing, blah blah blah etc.

Tagging: @gwash4prez @jazy2015 @diggs4life @alexanderhamllton @this-ally-loves-you @duckoffury @hamrevolution @curiositykilledthecompanion @thegirlonhamilton @shinymarbles @legattoassassino @nadialinett14 @an-abundance-of-hannahs @someonesblogger @hamiltrashinn @texasprincess3 @the-ashy-phoenix

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anonymous asked:

Grandma! Grandma! Grandpa told us a story about this lady at McDonalds, do you have any stories for us?

Oh goodness, my children have children now ;;

Hmm, so for Christmas when I was 7 years old my father got me a Furby because those were all the fucking rage at the time. I loved the creepy thing to death until a week later I realized it wouldn’t shut up. I didn’t know how to take the batteries out, and I was going crazy with it chirping in the middle of the night when I was trying to fucking sleep. So logically, my child brain came upon the conclusion that if the mouth can’t move, then it can’t make any noise. So I fucking glued the mouth together. Like, imagine someone dumping a bottle of Elmer’s glue on a tiny furry creature in hopes of it drowning under the gobs of adhesive. That was me. Anyways, my dad was about to come into my room, and in panic I shoved the thing under my bed. I promptly forgot that I shoved a glue covered furby under my bed. Jump cut to that night when I was trying to sleep. I woke up at 2AM to the sound of some HORRENDOUS GROANING and GURGLING and I fucking thought I was going to DIE. And it didn’t STOP. I realized 10 horrifying minutes later that I shoved my glue drowning furby under my bed so I took it out and fucking threw it into my hallway. My dad found it the next morning and probably swore to never get me anything for Christmas again LOL.

TL;DR: Furby’s are terrible gifts.

Let’s be real about Robert stans

I love how the antis love to come on as anon (no fucking guts to show yourselves) and tell me how I am up Robert’s ass blah blah blah, I excuse his horrible behavior blah blah blah, I don’t point out what’s wrong with him blah blah blah. 

Listen here, son. 

I am not you. I don’t pretend my favorite character isn’t a mess.

 I don’t know ONE FUCKING ROBERT STAN that doesn’t say a 100 times a day what a fucking mess he is. We lovingly call him OUR TRASH SON. THAT IS WHAT WE SAY WITH LOVE. I don’t pretend that he hasn’t done some horrible shit in his past because yes, god he has. I don’t pretend that his being an asshole isn’t something he still has to work on. I DON’T PRETEND that he doesn’t have serious emotional and mental problems. THAT HE DOESN’T HAVE INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA. That he doesn’t makes stupid, huge mistakes that cost him a lot. That he accidentally killed someone he once loved and covered it up. That he has such deep fucking issues, his first thought was to always get people out of his way by any means necessary. 


BUT UNLIKE YOU TERRIBLE ANTIS I don’t pretend that that is all he is. 

I see the good he has done. I don’t turn a blind eye at how much he has given of himself to someone who he will probably never measure up to. I know and see how much he loves his sisters, Diane, Aaron. HOW FUCKING HARD HE IS TRYING. I don’t forget that he watched his mother die at 14 and to this day carries that around him, that his brother did that, that his father beat the shit out of him for being bi, that he was chucked out of town for choosing to save said brother over someone else and getting punished for it. That all that shit closed Robert down so much I’m surprised he even actually functions. 

Regardless, he is a grown man and he needs to figure out how to deal with all that shit in order to let go of all his learned behavior. I root for him every day to get his head together. I watch him fight instincts that he has lived with always to try and be a better person. I DON’T IGNORE THAT HE IS A BETTER PERSON BECAUSE IT SUITS MY POV LIKE SOME. I DON’T IGNORE THAT HE CAN BE THE WORST. 

So hate him all you want. That’s your right to. But don’t roll up in here and tell me I don’t see my favorite character clearly. I don’t EXCUSE the shit he does. I UNDERSTAND IT. And when I think people have wronged him I fucking say it. 

Because listen carefully to be a Robert Sugden fan is a hard fucking job and no one does it without knowing what they are getting into.

So please. Get the fuck off my lawn and leave me to love my wrecked, messed up asshat of a character.

anonymous asked:

Is there a part of you that wishes you never met ash and was still in a stable relationship with dan?

No and no. I don’t regret ANYTHING that happened with either one of them. I know it sounds cliche but I am not lying when I say I learned tremendously from both relationships. I know the internet sees my last relationship as SO HORRIBLE and I am SO HEARTBROKEN blah blah blah, but the truth is I am doing okay and believe it or not, I still truly do wish her the best. Contact or no contact, that doesn’t matter to me at this point, it doesn’t take away from the fact that I will ALWAYS want her to be the happiest she can be. Maybe I am just too good of a person? I don’t know. To answer the Dan part, I always wish him the best but NO part of me wants to be back with him lol my next relationship WILL be with a female, theres no question about that lol 

It makes me kinda sad to see how other girls put each other down. “Ew have you seen her eyebrows” “omg she should just stop doing makeup, she’s so bad at it” “what an ugly haircut” “she looks horrible in that top” and blah blah blah. We need to stop with the hate and negativity and love each other more. Heck I’m still learning makeup techniques and trying new trends everyday. Nobody is perfect. We are all a team & should be supporting each other 💕Spread the positivity around :)

Don’t mistake me saying this as me saying that all Thiam shippers are evil horrible people and blah blah blah. Because I don’t think that AT ALL. I know that not everyone in every ship is horrible bullies who turn to insulting and threatening people to get points across. In fact, a lot of people who ship Thiam that I’ve talked to or follow AREN’T like that. The majority of shippers are positive and kind and welcoming, but that’s not who the post is about. This is about the few people who are negative and rude and are cruel to other human beings just because they see things differently than them.

Don’t make me out as some kind of ‘Thiam hater’ because I don’t hate them as a ship, I just don’t ship them! And I respect anyone’s opinion who does ship them as long as they’re not voicing those opinions negatively and forcing their opinions and feelings onto others.

Does it matter if someone likes it? No. Does it matter if someone dislikes it? No. As long as those people aren’t willing to insult and ridicule people who think differently than them. That’s all I’m saying.

I don’t want people to see my post and think “Wow, just another Thiam hater.” Because there aren’t ships I hate. NONE. There are just ships that I don’t ship and people should respect that opinion.

I ship Liam and Scott. So, if someone doesn’t ship them, will I message them and insult them? “Liam and Scott love each other more than anything in the world and if you disagree you should probably kill yourself.” Fuck. No. No one should ever turn to that as a means to say something. If you want to voice your opinion on anything, do it in a way that won’t hurt other people.

Do: “I view Theo and Liam’s relationship as a somewhat toxic one because of the events that happened between Theo and Liam before and how negatively it impacted Liam and the rest of the pack.”

Don’t: “I don’t ship them because they’re trash and your opinion is trash and you should probably die or something.”

Do: “I understand that you don’t ship these two characters. I respect your reasonings behind this and would like to have a civilized conversation about a show we both enjoy.”

Don’t: “You don’t ship Sciam? Wtf is wrong with you? It’s obvious that they love each other, you’re just being so damn blind. dumbass. Smh.”

There’s always another route to go and while the majority don’t act like that, there are people who are rude and hurt people’s feelings unnecessarily just to get a point across. Teen Wolf is ending soon, so we shouldn’t be fighting over petty stuff like this. We should be banding together and enjoying these final few weeks we have left of it before it’s gone. Not pushing negativity, but embracing the positivity of the show and focusing on the good times.

Pretending that the majority of critics didn’t throw shade at D&D for J*nerys doesn’t make it true. Literally most of them were either “Blah” about it or they were “This is horrible” 

It didn’t gain a lot of praise, the season, in general, was probably its most criticised one in my opinion.