blackwomanifesto-deactivated201  asked:

what's your advice for those who struggle with loving themselves?

loving yourself is a decision. it doesn’t happen and it’s not something anyone else can decide to teach you. you have to actively choose to love yourself. you have to decide that you are worth more than the self loathing, than the low self esteem, than the negative thoughts that plague you. you have to value your self and your body in such a way that self love becomes a means of survival.

once you make that decision, and commit to yourself to take steps to love yourself, you have to take stock of the things about yourself that you’re critical of. you then put them in two piles: the things you can change and the things you can’t. you then decide to accept all the things you can’t change, and actively take steps to improve on the things you can change.

the key here is that self love is an action: you cannot passively love yourself. it has to be a firm decision. because on the path to self love, some of the ugliest sides of you come out. and it’s that firm decisions that makes you keep going.