blackest hole

Past paramore songs referenced in No Friend

1)Let the flames begin: this is how we’ll stand when they burn our houses down.

No friend: another misspelled band burning their own houses down.

2) Future: lasts 7:52

No friend: another song that runs too long

3) Misguided ghosts: We are just misguided ghosts travelling endlessly

No friend: God knows no one needs more misguided ghosts

4) Riot album in general but also fast in my car: we have out riot gear on but we just want to have fun

No friend: A nickle in our basket and we’ll do our riot! dance

5) Anklebiters: you know anklebiters ate up your personality

No friend: in scores of catatonic smile covered anklebiten ships

6) when it rains: you made yourself a bed at the bottom of the blackest hole

No friend: A semi-conscious sorrow sleeping in the bed I’ve made

7) That’s what you get: that’s what you get when you let your heart win

No friend: and you’ll say that’s what i get when i let ambition win

8) For a pessimist I’m pretty optimistic: I’m not so naive my sorry eyes can see

No friend: in the naive expectation in your eyes

9) Tell me it’s okay: now when the sun is out I’m not afraid to feel it shine on me

No friend: before the dreaded sun appears

The Signs As Paramore Lyrics

Aries: “Tell me where our time went and if it was time well spent. Just don’t let me fall asleep feeling empty again.” - Pressure

Taurus: “She lives in a fairy tale, somewhere too far for us to find. Forgotten the taste and smell of a world that she’s left behind.” - Brick By Boring Brick

Gemini: “Somehow everything’s gonna fall right into place. If we only had a way to make it all fall faster everyday. If only time flew like a dove.” - Hallelujah

Cancer: “Where’s your gavel? Your jury? What’s my offense this time? You’re not a judge but if you’re gonna judge me, well, sentence me to another life.” - Ignorance

Leo: “Lost the battle, win the war. Bringing my sinking ship back to the shore. Starting over, we’ll head back in. There’s a time and a place to die but this ain’t it.” - Now

Virgo: “Where can I turn? ‘Cause I need something more. Surrounded by uncertainty, I’m so unsure. Tell me why I feel so alone. 'Cause I need to know to whom do I owe.” - Conspiracy

Libra: “You made yourself a bed at the bottom of the blackest hole and convinced yourself that it’s not the reason you don’t see the sun anymore.” - When It Rains

Scorpio: “And the worst part is, before it gets any better, we’re headed for a cliff. And in the free fall I will realize that I’m better off when I hit the bottom.” - Turn It Off

Sagittarius: “Creep past the hours like the shorter hand on the clock. Hanging on a wall of a schoolhouse somewhere. We wait for the bell and we dream of somewhere else.” - Daydreaming

Capricorn: “What a shame we all became such fragile, broken things. A memory remains just a tiny spark. I give it all my oxygen, to let the flames begin.” - Let The Flames Begin

Aquarius: “And now I’m told that this is life. That pain is just a simple compromise. So we can get what we want out of it.” - Misguided Ghosts

Pisces: “What a mess, what a mystery we’ve made of love and other simple things. Learning to forgive, even when it wasn’t our mistake.” - Part II

My heart is so heavy it feels like I’m stuck underneath the mountains I cry to every night about how hard life is. The lines for loss have gotten so long that I don’t even know who to mourn anymore /

I know to mourn who I could have been, who I was once upon a time, because I killed her with the inability to ever say no, to stop forgiving all transgressions, with the alcohol and whatever else I numb myself with, with the constant need to self destruct /

Depression, they say, anxiety, they say. But you seem to be doing better, they say /

Yeah, sure, I’m doing better - better at hiding how little I’m starting to care. Isn’t that supposed to be a warning sign, sudden contentment while in a black hole? Shouldn’t people worry over how much I smile now, rather than be happy over how easy it is to stick their goddamn heads in the sand?

//

The road map of dreams and decisions ahead of me are to appease those who won’t stay away if I don’t gush over how wonderful my future looks. I doubt I’m fooling them completely, but I only have to keep it going for another year and half /

So I make plans, I make those around me happy so they can wonder if they saw any signs before I’m gone. So they think I’m okay before twenty seven comes and takes me down to the blackest hole I’ll ever find /

I’m not scared to see what’s on the other side, because honestly, what can be worse than this? This lonely hell I’ve subjected myself to, over and over, countless times /

Don’t hurt yourself, they say, you’re a winner, they say. Sure, keep whispering whatever you think will keep me holding on. Hold my hand and ignore how I won’t wear shorts anymore because I can’t let anyone know the damage I’m doing to myself /

You see, it goes like this: drink until my mind goes fuzzy, then lay in bed until someone begs me to get up. If those options don’t work, find something to hurt the fragile skin I was given - when that doesn’t work, cry until there’s nothing left. But usually the tears don’t stop, because life doesn’t stop /

I’m selfishly done with how much pain people can inflict on the ones they claim to love without so much as a worried glance over their shoulder. I’ve always been easily replaceable, always, and it will be no different when I’m gone /

You know, the sad thing? I was finally doing better. I actually saw sunlight at the end of the tunnel and could feel that there was warmth if I kept taking the baby steps my sweet talking allowed. But then I received confirmation about how little I mean, how little anyone cares about anyone other than themselves /

I don’t think of myself first, but that’s okay, because no one else thinks of me first either /

So fuck the warmth, fuck getting better, I accept that I was right and the end is coming. I accept holding on so everyone else can soothe the worry lines I see when I walk into a room until I’m ready to go /

I’m sorry in advance. I just can’t do it anymore.

There is a hole on my table

There is a hole on my table.
There is the blackest hole on my table.
It is where the sturdiness of lumber
proves to be mere facade.
There is a black hole on my table,
a space once occupied with
the most important things
(like papers, keys, and rings) —
there now resides a wound.
Its edges are sharpest wafers
that could lacerate my fingers
(if i positioned my arms
at angles that are ‘just right’
[just right: you know,
like how society might like]).
This gaping hole
is where my left hand disappears
when it wanders in its anxiety; the hole
swallows belief in my self when I feel
the (frequent) need to be confident.
There is a hole in my table—
no, there is
a formless, abstract, meaningless shape,
on my table :: there is a symbol
on my table, a symbol
of self-sufficiency, or lack of it,
of self-discipline, or lack of it,
of caring too much (that I wrote a poem for it),
or not caring at all (that it still exists).
There is a hole on my table, and I made it
when the table met my fists. I made it
with excessive force. I made it
because I’m mad at the table. I made it.
There is a hole in me — no,
there is a symbol in me, there is
a space once occupied with
the most important things
(like papers, keys, and rings) —
there now resides a wound.
There is a hole on my table.
There is the blackest hole on my table.
I made it.

— A. P.

Paramore - Riot! Sentence Starters
  • “Just talk yourself up and tear yourself down.”
  • “You’ve hit your one wall, now find a way around.”
  • “You’ve got a lot of nerve.”
  • “What did you think I would say?”
  • “You can’t run away.”
  • “I put my faith in you - so much faith - and then you just threw it away.”
  • “If you give up, you’ll get what you deserve.”
  • “I don’t want to be the blame, not anymore. It’s your turn.”
  • “We’re settling the final score.”
  • “Why do we like to hurt so much?”
  • “That’s what you get when you let heart win.”
  • “I burned every bridge I ever built.”
  • “I never learn.”
  • “If I ever start to think straight, his heart will start a riot in me.”
  • “Somehow, everything’s gonna fall right into place.”
  • “If only time flew like a dove.”
  • “This time, we’re not giving up.”
  • “I can’t force these eyes to see the end.”
  • “We’ve got nothing but time on our hands.”
  • “I’m in the business of misery.”
  • “She/he’s got it out for me, but I wear the biggest smile.”
  • “Second chances, they don’t ever matter. People never change.”
  • “Once a whore, you’re nothing more.”
  • “I refuse!”
  • “I watched his/her wildest dreams come true, not one of them involving you.“
  • “Just watch my wildest dreams come true.”
  • “Everything, just say it again and mean it.”
  • “You made yourself a bed at the bottom of the blackest hole and convinced yourself that it’s not the reason you don’t see the sun anymore.”
  • “How could you do it?”
  • “I need an ending.”
  • “Why can’t you stay just long enough to explain?”
  • “Just running away from all of the ones who love you.”
  • “Take these chances to turn it around.”
  • “We’ll make it somehow.”
  • “What a shame we all became such fragile, broken things.”
  • “A memory remains, just a tiny spark.”
  • “Let the flames begin.”
  • “This is how we’ll dance when they try to take us down.”
  • “Somewhere weakness is our strength.”
  • “I’ll die searching for it.”
  • “I can’t let myself regret such selfishness.”
  • “I believe that there’s hope buried beneath it all.”
  • “This is how we’ll stand when they burn our houses down.”
  • “I’ve gone for too long living like I’m not alive.”
  • “I’m gonna start over tonight.”
  • “I’ve been waiting for a miracle.”
  • “I won’t let you give up on a miracle when it might save you.”
  • “No one ever has to know that inside we’re broken.”
  • “It’s not faith if you use your eyes.”
  • “I just need this pain to end.”
  • “I’ve got a lot to say to you.”
  • “I noticed your eyes are always glued to me.”
  • “They taped over your mouth, scribbled out the truth with their lies.”
  • “Nothing compares to a quiet evening alone.”
  • “I guess I’m dreaming again.”
  • “Let’s be more than this.”
  • “If you want to play it like a game, well come on, let’s play.”
  • “I’d rather waste my life pretending.”
  • “Don’t you know that we’re all alone now?”
  • “Give me something to sing about.”
  • “I’ve been waiting for the sun.”
  • “I’ve seen worlds that don’t belong.”
  • “My mouth is dry with words I cannot verbalize.”
  • “Tell me why we live like this.”
  • “Keep me safe inside your arms.”
  • “We are broken.”
  • “What must we do to restore our innocence and all the promise we adored?”
  • “Give us life again.”
  • “We just want to be whole.”
  • “Lock the doors.”
  • “I’ll take the truth at any cost.”
  • “I’m sitting in a room made up of only big white walls.”
  • “They know exactly what we’re here for.”
  • “Don’t look up.”
  • “Just let them think there’s no place you’d rather be.”
  • “You’re always on display, for everyone to watch and learn from.”
  • “You’ll go out in style.”
  • "Just blame the limelight.”
  • “You can’t turn back because this road is all you’ll ever have.”
  • “You’re asking for it.”
  • “You’re just a mess.”
  • “I just keep on falling back to the same role.”
  • “Where’s hope when misery comes calling?”
  • “Tell me, do you feel the pressure now?”
  • “Right now, you’re the only reason I’m not letting go.”
  • “So you think you’re ready?”
  • “We were born for this.”
FAHC Mavinseg HC's

• literally everyone picks Gavin up and tosses him over their shoulder when they’ve had enough of his shit and it pisses Gavin off that they can all do it even tho he weighs 2lbs.
• Gavin has to either buy all the ammo himself or has to go with everyone else bc of all the fights/collateral damage Team Megchaelsay have started in Ammu-Nation
• Gavin and Meg have to share a bathroom and their counter is stuffed to the brim with makeup and hair products and jewelry boxes. They steal each others makeup all the time and entire gang wars have been started over one Two-Faced Palette.
• Team Losers are the date planners
• Team Winners are the backup date planners bc likely as not something will happen to the original date night.
• Lindsay, Meg and Gavin regularly raid the pet store in LS and Michael just loves coming home to find cats out the ass, yeah Smee was enough thanks.
• Michael hated Smee for a solid week until Meg came home and found him asleep on the couch with Smee curled up on his chest. She has pictures. Michael can’t delete them all.
• Meg and Lindsay cook because Gavin is a hopeless chef and Michael likes fucking with the stove (the flames) way too much.
• Gavin does all the laundry. That boy is a whiz with clothes.
• No one is allowed to leave the house or go to bed until everyone has been kissed
• it doesn’t matter where Gavin started, he will end up on top of the covers before they all wake up. Meg sprawls out like an octopus, Lindsay kicks in her sleep and Michael needs six million covers before he’s satisfied.
• Lindsay’s purse is the blackest of holes, it has three makeup bags, five rounds of ammo for around three different guns, an extra pair of glasses for Meg, Michael and Gavin, Gavin’s spare phone, snacks, tampons, two lighters, a book of matches, a tazer, knives, a packet of tablets who’s uses range from antidotes to painkillers, a pair of brass knuckles, a garrote wire, three sets of comms, her wallet, her phone, bandages, a mini first aid kit and pusheen merch.
• Team Turnfree are Team Seduction
• Team Jones are Team Chaos
• Team Losers are Team Boss (bc Lindsay is the leader of the FAHC and Gavin is Burnie’s heir), ergo all the diplomatic missions fall to them
• Team Winner is Team Collateral Damage (think TND but worse)
• Team Free Willy is Team Assassin
• Team Nice Dynamite is Team Nice Dynamite man, it explains itself
• Gavin has GPS-chipped everyone’s phones, and he doesn’t like doing so but he can’t stand not being able to find one of his datemates at any given time.
• Gavin designed all their matching rings with added functionality. Michael’s functions as a flint, Lindsay’s has a mini dagger and Meg’s can hold poison, and they all have trackers and audiovisual capabilities

•Lindsay blew up an entire avenue for their anniversary

• Which names they were gonna take when they got married and in what order is a subject of debate to this day

• Meg and Lindsay are early birds. They are also the first to get into the shower and end up taking all the hot water

I’ll be gone, baby

By the time you get this message, you’ll be gone. You detonated a time bomb inside of me, making me shake with fury until I fully exploded, going supernova.

The flash of light so bright, the flash of my hand, the darkness in your heart destroying me, turning me to sand. I join the sands of time, unraveling one grain at a time, letting the story unfold.

I’ll be gone, baby, gone forever.

My atoms split with our fusion, pulling apart the universe, opening up the chasm to the darkest depths of the blackest hole. Sink into me. There’s no where else to go when I’m the vacuum.

Now I’m in control. I’ve sealed your fate. I’ve swallowed your excuses and swallowed your heart.

You made yourself a bed
at the bottom of the blackest hole
And you’ll sleep ‘til May and you’ll say
that you don’t want to see the sun anymore.
—  Paramore, “When it Rains”

i don’t wanna lose more time
“i watched you change from an introverted and haunted man anchored down by the past into someone who found something to run to instead of run from. it started with iris.” 
(songs that have played during barry and iris scenes in the first two seaons)

{LISTEN}

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