March 24, 2017.
its been 4 days since im working on my economy notes and also reviewing some of the old uni tests and im kinda satisfied with how it looks omg i havent been sooo happy with my notes before😅😅 (i know its kinda bleeding but yeah its just a cheap brand of notebook sooo and its A4 which much bigger than i used to write my notes soo i kinda like it)
pens i used in this:
✏ Zebra Sarasa Pen 0.5mm in Black
✏ Zebra Mildliner in Mild Magenta, Mild Gold, Mild Smoke Blue, Mild Blue Green and Mild Blue
✏ Crayola Supertips in Turquoise, Sun Yellow and Light Peach
✏ Artline Stix in Apricot and Light Blue
✏ Snowman Brush Pen in Black
✏ Zig Kuretake Fudebiyori Brush Pen in Indigo
✏ Tombow Fudenosuke Hard Tip
alsooo ive been listening to Stay by Zedd ft. Alessia Cara this whole week omg that song sooo good😍😍😍
It was a phrase Black Hat had started hearing often from Flug. Admittedly, it took a lot of getting used to.
Love. He’d always thought of it as such a revolting concept. Yet, he’d feel something strange whenever the doctor said it to him. Something… pleasant.
Even more shockingly, he found he had a desire to say it back. Gross.
……… But still though. How is he to do that?
Every time he’s tried to even say it, he gags on his own words. Ugh, it’s so stupid. Flug must think it’s ridiculous, trying to return a phrase so simple only to back out every time after choking on just the damn “L”.
No, it is ridiculous. Black Hat won’t let some– some dumb word get the best of him!
“This is a promise that I’ll come back home– come back to you– after every case.”
wc: 1034 // just a lil short and quick something to get me back into the writing business
You’re not so much surprised as you are confused to see Spencer sitting on the coffee table poring over some files when you walk through the door of the apartment. Spencer, who seven hours ago, called you from his hotel room in a sleepy Utah town in the middle of a case. He had told you that he wouldn’t be home for another four days, and yet here he was: messy hair and soft smile and the beginnings of a black eye and bandages on his arms. He looks like he hasn’t shut his eyes once in the past three days he’s been gone.
“Hi,” he says. He sounds as exhausted as he looks.
It’s not like you haven’t seen him roughed up before– you’re almost used to it by now, actually. And it’s not like he hasn’t been gone for longer than this either. But tonight, you’re extra eager to see him, slamming the door shut and dropping your bag on the floor as you rush over to him. You wrap your arms around his neck and he hums quietly in contentment as he rests his head against yours.
“I missed you, Spence.”
You feel him nod against you. “I missed you too.”
His exhaustion is palpable and as you run your hands down his back to soothe him, he winces and inhales sharply.
“I, uh, I got hurt pretty badly by the Unsub,” he says quietly, peering up at you to gauge your reaction. You’ve seen him hurt before, sure, but that doesn’t make him feel better about making you see him in such a state.
Frowning, you pull back and instead pull up a seat in front of him. “What happened? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I just– I don’t know, I was just in a bad position.”
“Wanna talk about it? I could make us some coffee?”
Spencer exhales slowly and nods after a moment, his eyes trailing you as you get up and walk to the kitchen to start brewing a fresh pot of coffee. Normally, you’d smirk at him and jokingly tell him to get his own damn coffee, you’re not his maid, but tonight he looks so worn out that you shrug off the faux sarcasm. You don’t really mind, anyway.
You glance over your shoulder as the machine whirs to life. “So how’d you get that black eye?”
His frown deepens. “My profile was wrong. My profile’s never wrong. But… but I profiled the Unsub to be too socially inept for confrontation.” His voice is laced with anger and bitterness. “We were going after her and I scoped out the back alley next to her house and she attacked me.”
You sigh, looking over at him. “How long have you been back?”
“Three hours. I wanted to come home right away, but JJ had me do a complete medical evaluation before she’d let me leave.”
“Remind me to thank her. How bad did they knock you up?”
He grins and laughs, low and soft, before it’s cut off by a sharp inhale of pain. “Interesting choice of words.” You smile just as widely to mirror his expression.
You roll your eyes in mock annoyance. “How badly did you get hurt, Spence?”
“Three bruised ribs, this black eye, and a mild concussion.” He shrugs and winces at the pain. “I’ve had worse.”
While true, it doesn’t stop you from worrying and looking over at him sadly. The machine stops suddenly, the whirring dying down to a calm quiet, and you picks up the mugs of coffee and heads over. When you hand the mug to him, he smiles in appreciation and you feel better at the sight of it.
“Did you guys catch the Unsub?”
“He got away after. They sent me back home early.”
You furrow your eyebrows at the news and search his face for any answers, but you find none in his smile. Spencer Reid, though admittedly not physically capable of body slamming criminals to the ground, has a heart of gold and a moral compass that’s always in tune. He’s never left a case early– even after injuries far worse than those he’s sporting now.
“Not that I’m complaining,” you say slowly, peering over at him. “But you never come home early. What happened there?”
He opens his mouth to respond but instantly shuts it again, letting a brief silence fill the air. After a few moments, Spencer gets up and heads over to his bag, gingerly leaning down to fish something out and clutching it tightly in his hand. When he makes it back to you, he places a small black box on the counter and smiles.
“I had some things I wanted to take care of.”
“Spence–” You say his name breathlessly, your heart beating faster.
“Wait, let me– let me just explain.” He takes a deep breath and gathers your hand in his, big brown eyes looking into yours. “I love you. A lot. I’ve loved you for a long time now. Statistically, people spend a little more than two years together before they move onto this part, so I think we’re safe after three years and a baby on the way.”
You stifle a laugh, smiling widely.
“My job can be dangerous. And I know you worry, but I don’t want to leave it–I love what I do.” Before you could tell him you understand, he continues. “But I know you worry about me and that this won’t change much, but this is a promise that I’ll come back home– come back to you– after every case.”
You will yourself not to cry, but containing emotions was never your strongest suit. You almost want to look away from Spencer to compose yourself, but you can’t bring yourself.
When he says your name, it’s in the same tone that he used when he first told you he loved you. “Will you marry me?”
Your yes was teary and breathless and when you moved to hug him tightly, he holds back a groan and wraps his arms around you to pull you closer. There’s such a thing, he decides as he slips the ring on your finger, as good pain.
if you’ve never been alone how you know yourself?
If you ain’t up on the water how you grow yourself?
You should love you so much that you go Marylin Manson and blow yourself
It’s some things that you gotta learn that only you can show yourself
- Mick Jenkins (feat. Noname & Xavier Omar)
Genre: Angst (Smut later) Summary: You’ve
ran away and tried to start over, but the demons you run from keep you
up at night. The only thing to comfort you is cancer sticks and mind
tricks. But this guy isn’t a mind trick, he’s a wake up call. (Yoongi x Reader) [2: They say you should love yourself, but why should you? ]
Warnings: Smoking, Trauma, Possible Triggers.
Word Count: 2,576
Written by: Smutty Jaefairy
A/N: Don’t smoke kids, third chapter sometime soon.
I noticed two things about the Blake Sibling relationship in 401 that made me happy: Octavia worried about her brother’s safety and Bellamy put some deliberate distance between them. (This is inspired by some stuff @mego42 talks about here, so check that out too.)
Let’s take Octavia first. I have given up hoping that the show will address how incredibly awful and inexcusable it was for her to physically abuse him (much like the massacre and Murphy/Ontari, the show clearly doesn’t know just how bad it actually was) so I’m gonna just…leave that aside. If you can’t, that’s fair– that was a dealbreaker moment for a lot of people and I don’t begrudge you drawing a line in the sand.
However, since the show still wants us to root for these siblings to find their way back to each other, I think it’s worth exploring how 401 set the table for that. It was clearly a place-setting episode, undoing a lot of the mess of s3 (praise jesus) and indicating what the writers want us to know about relationships and characters as we move forward. And in 401, Octavia had essentially three modes:
2) Sassmaster Blake
3) Worried About Bellamy Despite Everything
The first has been obvious in all the promos– the show clearly loves a Lady With a Sword action sequence, and Octavia is perfect for that. She’s deadly, she’s grieving, and Marie has the moves. The second is another consistent trait, because “kind of bratty comment while everyone else deals with shit” is Quintessential Octavia.
“Worried about Bellamy Despite Everything” is also Quintessential Octavia, and the show made a point to emphasize that. We see her reaction when the parley with Echo goes south, we see her worried expression when he’s dragged into the throne room, and I suspect her “don’t fuck this up” quip was also her very guarded way of telling Bellamy to take care of himself. (The Blakes tend to communicate their love through black humor and mild jackassness, and I love that about them.) This is important, because it indicates that no matter how upset Octavia is, she cannot turn off the “loving her brother” part of her heart. That is also a quality we see in Bellamy, since no matter what Octavia does, he makes it clear he loves her no matter what.
But in 401, Bellamy does not behave towards Octavia the way we’re used to. We see him watching her right at the start, and Clarke immediately hones in on his concern. (Sidenote: real talk I was so confused that Clarke thought Bellamy was worried Octavia would be tried for her crimes because the Arkadia storyline in s3 was such a broken down mess of authoritarianism and lawlessness that I honest to god straight up forgot they even had laws). But Bellamy pretty much blows Clarke off and does not approach Octavia, despite his clear concern. Throughout the episode he exists in the same sphere as her and interacts with her as necessary, but those interactions are generally limited to rebukes and silent looks. He’s worried, but he’s not about to try and parent her right now– not when she’s like this.
I think the only other time we’ve really seen Bellamy even consider rejecting Octavia is in Day Trip, when he intends to run away and leave her behind. It’s borne of desperation because he’s scared of being executed when the Ark comes down, but it’s also driven by the fact that Octavia is furious with him. I bang the “the Blake Sibling Relationship Is Profoundly Fucked Up” drum a lot, but that’s because it is profoundly fucked up. He’s basically her father, but he’s also her brother and we forget that Bellamy’s existence on the Ark was almost as lonely as Octavia’s. In s1, nearly everyone has someone: Monty has Jasper, Raven has Abby, Clarke has Wells (and sometimes her mother), and Octavia has Bellamy. But Bellamy only sometimes has Octavia.
She loves him fiercely, but she’s constantly furious with him, and in 108 he decides to just…give up. He had been doing everything to protect her– which is how Bellamy shows his love– and all it got him was her scorn, first with Atom and then with Lincoln. (Note: Bellamy’s “protection” was basically “controlling her” and incredibly Not Okay, but I do think the show meant for us to see that it came from a place of genuine love.)
So Bellamy putting some space between himself and Octavia in 401 is, in my opinion, a good sign. It means he’s drawing a line (I will love you but I will not let you treat me like this) that is important for both Octavia and for himself. For Octavia, it’s a continuation of their parent-child relationship: he’s recognizing that she’s a grown up who is going to make her own mistakes, and he will love her from afar but he won’t fix them for her. (In fact, he explicitly said as much in 316). Octavia has been fighting for that right pretty much since they landed, and while they managed it in s2 and early s3, the clusterfuck of s3 saw him reverting to s1 Bellamy in a lot of ways and that included his behavior towards Octavia.
That space is equally important for Bellamy, however (if not more so). Because this is Bellamy letting himself be her brother, not her father. He is taking a step out of the dad role and letting them exist as just siblings. I suspect that we’re going to see this progress as Octavia learns to see Bellamy as a brother, not an authority figure against whom she can rebel. Octavia loves him, but her feelings have always been complicated by the role he had to fill on the Ark–part brother, part father, part jailer. They need to start over, and by Bellamy stepping back (a move that is incredibly important to his mental health, I think) Octavia is going to be forced to do the heavy lifting this time.
Hi how are you?? , I wanted to request a sirius imagine where is best friends with the reader and start dating but he hurts her and she after feeling awful start haging with lucios and his gang , and then sirius goes crazy for jealousy and because his worry about her and them changing her