black zetsu

The Akatsuki find out that Black Zetsu was behind everything

Requested by anon!

How would the Akatsuki react if they found out Black Zetsu had been behind everything?

1. Pein

Pein: *squints his eyes*

Pein: “……what?”

2. Konan

Konan: “Wait, so “Tobi” who turned out to be “Madara”, who then turned out to be “Obito” wasn’t even behind this?”

Konan: “I planted FLOWERS with this guy! And he played me like a fiddle. Goddamit I can’t trust anyone anymore.”

3. Sasori

Sasori: “Considering the amount of shit this organization has been through, it doesn’t really surprise me.”

Deidara: “How would you know? You were the first to die.”

Sasori: “Why did I have to end up in the afterlife with you.”

4. Deidara

Deidara: “I could have stopped this whole thing if I had KNOWN in the first place.”

Deidara: “I could have blown him up and everything would have been fine.”

Black Zetsu: “Yeah but you died, so jokes on you asshole.”

5. Hidan

Hidan: “Okay so it was bad enough that we thought it was the fucking Tobi kid who was behind it, but now the PLANT?!”

Hidan: “What the fuck kind of shitty bad guy are you? You don’t even DO anything. You PHOTOSYNTHESIZE FOR FUN.”

Black Zetsu: “Okay in my defense that was more the white side who liked doing that.”

6: Kakuzu

Kakuzu: “I’m with Sasori. Doesn’t surprise me.”

Kakuzu: “Although I AM curious as to what you spent all of the organizations leftover money that I TEDIOUSLY collected on.”

Black Zetsu: “Oh, I got bored so I ate most of it when I didn’t have anything else.”

Kakuzu: “Oh my fucking-”

7. Kisame

Kisame: “So this guy was actually working for the mother of all chakra?”

Kisame: “….”

Kisame: “I’m a little upset that he didn’t take more interest in the large 6ft shark man with superhuman chakra levels.”

8. Itachi

Itachi: “This is getting tedious.”

Itachi: “First an Uchiha, and now a disciple of the Rabbit Goddess?”

Itachi: “How about we just draw a name out of a hat for the next one. It actually turns out that SAKURA was behind everything oh my what a shocker.”

Black Zetsu: “I don’t appreciate your sarcasm.”

9. Obito

Obito: “You are literally the worst.”

anonymous asked:

A scenario where Obito saves the reader from Kirigakure ninja and trains her the same way Madara did?

Hope you like the direction I took this request. It was a little tricky to do and it kinda plays on Kisame’s backstory before he joins Akatsuki too. Let me know what you think. Thank you for the request.

Obito saving the Reader from Mist Ninja

“He came crawling back, just like you said,” the deep and menacing voice of Black Zetsu rumbled.

Obito didn’t bother turning around, looking up at the grey sky. “As predicted,” Obito mentioned in a smoother and lower voice than his own.

“Hm…” Black Zetsu hummed in thought as White Zetsu spoke bluntly in his lighter pitch voice. “You’re rather getting good at Madara’s voice.”

Obito didn’t acknowledged White Zetsu’s comment as he lowered his head to look forward once more. “Once we finish up with these rain ninja, we need to start heading to Kirigakure,” Obito instructed sounding much like Madara behind his white mask.

Zetsu nodded before sinking into the ground. “I’ll notify Nagato as to where to find you,” Black Zetsu stated, solemnly as he disappeared.

Obito continued onward in his path. Everything Madara had left him before his death was going to plan so far. Madara had informed him of the rinnegan that he planted in Nagato’s eyes as a child. It wasn’t hard to find Nagato since white Zetsu had been keeping tabs on the child since he was young. Nagato was all grown up now and believed that the world could achieve peace through nonviolence.

Obito scoffed, what a fool Nagato was. There was no peace in this world. Not in this world that Rin did not exist. Nagato had to learn that, which was why Yahiko had to die. This was not a perfect world because Rin was not alive and now Nagato learned how unperfect this world is by Yahiko’s death.

Obito knew Nagato would reconsider his vision of peace, much like Madara had stated. Obito knew he would hear from Nagato soon, but first Obito had some business to attend to in the Hidden Mist.

There was word that the 4th Mizukage that was appointed was the 3-tails jinchuuriki. Obito smirked behind his mask, this could work to his advantage as he traveled for a week to get to Kirigakure’s borders that were across the sea.

When Obito was crossing the sea, he had stopped at one of the Land of Water’s islands. He was merely there to catch the next ship to the Hidden Mist, not at all expecting to run into you.

The island was dense with thick foliage and damp earth. The mud clung to your feet and made it hard to maneuver fast. You were slowly running out of breath, but you heard the rustling of the plants behind you and knew they were coming for you.

“Stop stowaway! You little rat,” you heard one of the Mist ninja shout after you.

You heart was racing as you darted to get away as quick as your legs could carry you.

Obito heard the commotion, turning in time to see you running out of the foliage into the clearing he was at. Your eyes widened at the sight of him in his white mask, thinking he must have been a Mist ninja as well.

Having halted for too long, the Mist ninja gained on you, springing out of the foliage to surround you.

Obito looked into your big frighten eyes; something in the pit of his stomach jarring him to act.

You turned your back to Obito, to look at the three ninja that had been pursuing you. Your eyes meeting with the man who led the pact. Your legs were shaky as you held a dull blade to him.

The man snickered. “Told you there was nowhere to run,” the man jested as his eyes trailed up to Obito who stood, precautious, a few yards away.

“You can run along. This business does not pertain to you,” the man called, firmly.

Your eyes widened at that, before taking a slim look behind your shoulder at the man. What rotten luck, you thought. You had thought the man was a Mist ninja. Your hand held your blade shakily, the lack of food and sleep waring on you from your journey out at sea.

Obito didn’t budge and it seemed to unnerve your pursuer.

“Did you not hear me? You can get lost, pal,” the man chimed, annoyed.

Obito turned fully to face him now. “What is it you want with them?” Obito questioned methodically, in his deep tone.

“It’s not your concern pal. They’re wanted for treason for abandoning their mission,” the man informed, preparing to engage in battle.

“I didn’t run! Fuguki is lied” you retorted, spitting out the name spitefully.

“Yea we heard that before, we don’t believe traitors, especially not against the word of One of the Seven Ninja Swordsman of the Mist,” the man responded, in a sneer.

You gritted your teeth. It was pointless trying to argue.

When the man finally leaped forward, you prepared yourself to block the attack but you were surprised when the stranger stepped in to take the blow. You gasped and watched in a matter of seconds as the stranger quickly killed off your pursuers.

When he finally turned to you, you stepped back in reflex. You could sense the amount of power this individual had and without being at your full strength you knew you had no way to beat him.

“Now that the trash is settled with, I have my own set of questions for you,” Obito spoke coolly, staring at you with his sharingan activated.

“Why did you save me?” You asked, uneasily in his presence.

“For information. Information that could be useful to me,” Obito expressed, calmly

“What makes you think I’ll answer you?”

“Well what else is there to lose? You’re already considered a traitor by your village,” Obito answered.

“I am not a traitor!” You stated defiantly.

“That is but your truth. Your village sees an entirely different truth. It will be hard to convince them otherwise, unless you can prove your word against one of the Seven Ninja Swordsman of the Mist, Fuguki Suikazan,” Obito mentioned, evenly.

The defiance in your eyes wavered at that. You knew you had no proof and no way to convince them that you were not a traitor. Obito saw the defeat in your eyes, and pushed a little further.

“Aren’t you sick of these web of lies? Those who reside in power corrupting the system and betraying their villages?” Obito expressed, his eyes narrowing in on you.

You nodded thoughtfully, a hard look passing over your eyes.

“I can help cleanse this world. I can rid the world of such corruption and lies. I will build a perfect one,” Obito claimed.

Your eyes met Obito’s with a bewildered look. “How?”

Obito felt a smile stretch upon his face behind his mask. “Join with me and you’ll see how I will tear down every lie within this world,” Obito offered.

You stood for a moment unsure, knowing that not taking this man’s offer would most likely lead to your death. Plus, you knew you had no other charming options even if you didn’t die by his hand today. There was nothing left for you outside the Mist Village.

You finally nodded slowly, gulping to ask your final question.

“Who are you?” You questioned hesitantly, seeing the red glint of his eye.

“My name is Madara Uchiha,” Obito spoke boldly, now adding you to his future plans for this world.

Shhh I honestly believe that Madara was just as much of a victim in the series as Neji and the entire shinobi alliance was. They were all just used by Kaguya, plus he had the curse of hatred so the cards were all stacked against him. And then finally once Kaguya was defeated and sealed away madara realized how wrong he had been and was happy that he and Hashirama were going to be friends in the after life. Madara was a good man who fell victim to the machinations of Kaguya and Black Zetsu and I will support this to the end.

I’m doing this for my amusement. Pickup lines by the Akatsuki!

Itachi: Can I borrow your eyes? Mine can’t see clearly without you.

Kisame: Did you know the human body is 65% water? *grins* And I’m mighty thirsty.

Pein: …. I like your face.

Konan: Are you origami because I want to fold you up (me: Is.. That a threat?)

Zetsu: If you were a vegetable you would be a cute-cumber

Tobi: Are you a lollipop? Because I want to lick you all night

Sasori: …. *straight face* You can say I’m a master with my hands. *very slight grin*

Deidara: *winks* is there a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in them

Kakazu: I am willing to pay for dinner, will you care to join me? (Me: this is a really big step for you, Zuzu)

Hidan: I can make you scream. (Me: Another threat?) In pleasure! *giggles at his cleverness*

BONUS:

Sasuke: …. I kind of don’t hate you. *slightly blushes*

Orochimaru: I can do things with my tongue you can’t even imagine. (Me: fuck this I’m out)

~End~

No one loves Madara...
  • Madara: Hey Sasuke, wanna team up?
  • Sasuke: No. Stay dead.
  • ---------------------------
  • Madara: Hey Obito-
  • Obito: I never considered you my friend.
  • ---------------------------
  • Madara: Hashirama!
  • Hashirama: Later.
  • ---------------------------
  • Madara: Well at least I have you. You're my will-
  • Black Zetsu: *stab* Lol no.

Shino Aburame: blew a kids arms off during the first Chunin exams, beat Kankuro in combat, beat a rogue Jonin in hand to hand combat to protect his friends, is smart enough he faked out the White and Black Zetsu in order to defeat him, created his own hybrid bugs that expand and explode and another that absorb and adapt to poison that eats away at human cells, “do you think that i am that weak?” A line used from a kid who lost like maybe 2 fights ever, was a key figure in the Ninja war, deals with complex abandonment issues stemming isolation and being treated like a fucking freak for his powers and quiet demeanor and overcame it enough to rely on his friends and show emotions such as concern and love for others, is one of the strongest ninjas in konoha easily

The writers for Boruto: lmao wouldnt it be funny if he cries bc he gets bullied by a bunch of 7 year olds