black youth vote

The Easiest Way To Win The Next American Presidential Election, It’s Practically A Cheat Code

I’ve been thinking a lot about the progressives who HAVE taken my state my storm, namely, Bill Clinton and Huey Long. Both have their problems, but bear with me. I’ve lived here the overwhelming majority of my life, so I know these people. I can’t escape them.

All these pieces about sympathizing with poor Southern voters? Really smooth over the broad details and end up coming off as insulting–but they have a single grain of truth to it. Southerners have pride and toughness that’s infamous, and likely due to our majority Scots-Irish stock. And they see a hypocrisy about our side that is a STONE COLD TRUTH: that we talk about equality and not judging people and helping the historically downtrodden, but the minute most Northern Democrats hear a southern accent? Assume the speaker is dumb as shit. People with heavy Southern accents are definitely discriminated against in higher-paying jobs, even sometimes the South itself. 

NOW DON’T YOU BITCHES DARE TRY TO PULL SOME OPPRESSION OLYMPICS HYPOCRISY ON ME ISTG, I have a degree in Sociology and will drag the fuck out of you. I said nothing to compare it to any other group. And here’s the thing–even though Bernie and others have pivoted and talked about race and stuff less, WE 100% DON’T NEED TO DO THAT. 

Now, we could spend the next upteenth years checking ourselves and not making fun of Southerners, which we will have to do anyway to make it stick–along with being more patient with poor whites who are have informational poverty(seriously, if you live in the Deep South, you may have LEGIT NEVER HEARD a liberal argue EVER because we’re generally scared to here, and access to the internet in rural areas is fucking GARBAGE even when people do have the money–internet is the easiest way to learn in-depth knowledge quickly and relatively cheaply, bar none).

But what will work in the meantime? Have an unapologetically Southern as FUCK Democrat run. Put back the twang he no doubt put away to run for political office. Make him mention how Republicans have pandered uselessly to Southerners then stole food from their children’s mouths, then talk about how he can fix it for everyone. Have a Southern Democrat with the STYLE and FIRE and RIGHTEOUSNESS of as Southern preacher. Hell, if he was a preacher at one time or another, extra points. You could probably even use a black Southern Democrat to do this–Southerners will be tripping over themselves to show that they’re “not racist.” Combine the youth and black vote of Obama with the single-handedly breaking the Southern strategy. It has to be genuine, but more or less the more he lays into it, the more effective it’ll be. He can outright rebuke Trump as the devil in the name of Jesus. He just has to be a relatively clean record that can’t be used against him, a little bit of inexperience like Obama is fine, makes him look like an “outsider.”

If Dems do this a couple of times, I honest-to-god see them able to finally break the Southern strategy. Southerners ONLY want to be acknowledged, and they were so destructively desperate for it that they voted against their actual interests. This is the fucking path forward.

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With the primary season finally over we’re figuring out what voters actually care about. 

We talked with a group of students at Hampton, the historically black university (or HBCU) once attended by Booker T Washington. 

The issues on their minds are: 

  • Jobs (and the prospect of endless internships on a road to nowhere).
  • Prejudice which might hold them back.
  • A totally valid anxiety about the behavior of police officers. 
  • And debt. Obviously. 

Photos: Bastien Inzaurralde for the Guardian.