1) Dany arrives a bit breathless to the Dragon Pit. ‘Sorry, guys, so sorry, dragon broke down, and then I had to wait AGES for another one, and then sod’s law, TWO came along at once!’
2) I will always ship Podrick and Tyrion, I mean, in the most beautiful platonic way. #Podyrion!
3) Cersei: ‘I am the queen of evil.’ Dany: ‘I see that. But where did you get that fierce black woven leather dress, ie the best outfit of the episode?’ Cersei: ‘Oh. Qyburn makes my wardrobe purchases.’ (Qyburn leans down and whispers something subtly). Cersei to Dany: ‘Essos.’ (Qyburn whispers again.) Cersei: ‘Excuse me. ASOS.’
4) Sandor to The Mountain: ‘Something’s different about you. Can’t place it. Did you lose weight? Don’t tell me, I’ll get in a sec.’
5) Roses? Pah. Chocs? Pah. Post-conflab Jon hands Dany a bit of dragon bone. He has the MOVES, man. CHILLS.
6) IT’S OK AFTER ALL SANSA AND ARYA WERE ALWAYS HAVING THEIR SLUMBER PARTIES, ONLY SECRETLY, TRYING TO IGNORE BRAN IN THE CORNER STARING CREEPILY INTO SPACE, PHEW, YAAAY
7) Arya shows Petyr the dagger. ‘See, mate? CHEKHOVIAN DAGGER. Now pass me your throat.’
8) I REALLY thought that Cersei was going to tell Gregor to kill Jaime for REALZ. But NO! Jaime goes solemnly off on his horse to make his mixtape for Cersei which will include ‘I Will Always Love You’ by Whitney Houston and ‘We Are Never Getting Back Together’ by Taylor Swift, sung in new mournful cover versions by him, accompanying himself on acoustic guitar.
9) Jon gives Dany his dragon bone (again)! Weirdest sex scene EVERRRRRR. Like sexy, yes, definitely, in an aunt-y, nephew-y kinda way, but with a hint of gross-out and hilarity. The sound I made was ‘MMMEURGGHHHHUUMMMM’.
10) ‘You know what they say, siskin,’ says Sansa, in excellent Last Winter Ever Fur Wear. ‘What, fam?’ says Arya. ‘When the snows fall and the white winds blow, says Sansa, ‘the lone wolf croaks, but the pack get together and they do OK. No, wait, what was it again?’
Dipper flopped into his bed- bone tired from chasing that dang Hell Hound down. “Bill are you sure it was a good idea to let Lazy Susan know about you?”
“Don’t worry about it Pine Tree- its not like we had much of a choice anyway.” The demon shrugged and tugged at the collar or Dipper’s jacket.
“Hey hey what are you doing?” Dipper say up again and Bill pinned a golden triangle- a little bigger than the one he had given to Lazy Susan and had a brick pattern that her’s didn’t.
“What is this for?”
“We told that fleshbag-”
“Don’t call her that.”
Bill glared at him. “We told her you are my ‘follower’, so of course you should have a pin like the one I gave her. Speaking of its time for you to go to bed- I have to take care of her dreams now- give her something really nice so she believes us.”