I want to be a dope ass black woman. I’m talking about banging body, banging mind, wealthy, great relationships. I want to be badder than a MF.
I want to roll out of a designer car, wearing Louis Vuitton’s, in a beautifully fitted dress, making heads turn. Also, when I speak I want it to almost be entrancing, and speak with elegance and grace (while not sounding ignorant).
I just really want to glo up and make it. I mean REALLY make it. I just don’t know where to start 😔
Okay so i just came back from Korea 2days ago and i have so much tea to spill (LOL) I met my male korean friend who i have been talking for 3 years now, online and met for the first time in Korea last week. It was the best trip ever in my entire life, we sigtseeing together, ate together and shopped together + Lotte World was the bomb.
Anyway i travelled with my childhood friend and my childhood friend told me that me and male korean friend were flirting too much. I did not realise before but after thought about it, he were very flirty with me and saying stuff like “this is my favourite place, but too many couples” and starred directly into my eyes while saying that. The flirtation was too much for my childhood friend that she gave us permission to go on 1 date. So our first date was in myeungdong in parisienne cafe (looks like from a kdrama) We chatted and he asked what i thought about blasian kids, and he touched my collarbones, placed my hair back in my ears and stuff >o<
On our way to my hotel he asked if i would give him kiss on the cheek, so i gave him a kiss on the cheek, and he did as well, So when i was infront my hotel room i went in for a kiss on the cheek again but he was slick and turned his head around so our lips touch instead (very slick move) But damn y'all the story just got better from here because when me, my childhood friend, my korean friend and his bestfriend went out for sightseeing and food, then my childhood friend gave me and my korean friend permission to spend alone time together. So we sat on a bench infront of a bank and chatted because it was our last day together before he has to go to work. We talked about our feelings for eachother and suddenly we kissed, like deep kissing all the way to my hotel.
Let me just say it was very steamy longass kiss with us pressing on the buttoms for the elevator to go up and down. I swear it was already hot in the elevator but came steamy and hotter. (No kdrama kisses here, lol) We really could not let eachother go, so we ended up kissing outside again but infront of my hotel.(Mt mouth was so dry when i came back up to my hotel room) So right now we are in a distant-relationship but he said he wants to come to my country as soon as possible. But overall my experience in Korea was amazing and can’t wait to come back next year.
I’m from Louisiana and when I heard a klansman was running for Senator of my State I had a panic attack of epic proportions. I don’t care if they say David Duke is a former member he was still a part of a terrorist group that harassed and harmed an entire group of people because of the color of their skin. This year is turning out to be one of my nightmares and with this and the “elections” this year I just want to scream and cry because I am honestly starting to get scared to go out in public.
My morning thoughts…. Fuck you and all your labels.
I don’t trust you… You approach me as beautiful or sexy because I have hidden what you would deem ugly. I inspire you with my confidence and that I could possibly love myself. My values and spirit make me the “ideal wife candidate” so you save me for later, your not ready for me yet. My no make up and natural hair make you say finally “a real woman”. My head wrap makes you picture the perfect little “Afrocentric family”. It’s all so fucking ridiculous, but it’s BGAD so I’m going to talk about my body.
You want the first picture I have created. The smoother picture formed with control tops and and push up bras and slimming leggings. They all dig into my skin if I lean the wrong way. And you may even want the second picture stating “I like a thick girl”. But I’m not just “thick” I’m fat and that isn’t something I should feel sorry about. I shouldn’t apologies for the space I take up. I shouldn’t have maps in my head of where I need to step lightly in a room so that I don’t rattle anything. Im happily single, creating the life I want. I move away from your touch bra use its uninvited on my body. I move away from your touch because what you think is smooth is filled with ripples of stretch marks, dips and rolls of fat. You make fun of girls bigger than me for things I’m insecure about; then you ask me to trust you with my naked body which houses my naked soul. I finally love me and you will not break me down. I fit into whatever you have created in your mind… But I have never fit anywhere and thats quite alright with me.
All that to say for all those hating on the beautiful big bodies, fat bodies, thick bodies I see on my dash…