black wallets

Day Forty-Two

-A woman brought up two items, one she wanted, one for price-comparison. I am used to this. However, she insisted I give her the lower-priced item for the higher cost. I think I see where she is coming from, but this is not the place for oneupmanship. 

-I will never forget the advice that one elderly woman gave another in regards to buying clearance Halloween items. Whenever I am making a decision, her voice will echo in my head, whispering, “do it, because of YOLO.”

-I was asked to double bag $80 of Halloween decorations in the largest bags we had in stock so that a woman in her sixties would be able to hide them from her husband in the car. For my next heist, I will undoubtedly be in contact with her to plan our seamless getaway.

-A kindly, sweet man in his seventies paid for his purchase with money from a large, studded, jet-black, leather chain wallet. This man keeps Hot Topic afloat.

-A man sat on my register, setting the example for two other men to sit on adjacent registers. The trendsetter remarked, “Why stand like a chump when you can sit?” My response was almost to suggest manners as a reason, but then I realized I would be playing directly into his hands and revealing my true nature as a chump.

-I was informed by a guest that, due to the fact that the counters on the registers were just slightly taller than the carts, I was guaranteed to be a VP someday. He told me that it could be for Nickelodeon, or possibly the Bahamas, but the where does not matter when this man has so much faith in me.

-Making faces at a baby strapped to their mother’s chest resulted in the infant excitedly jumping up and down as much as one can when confined to a living straightjacket. Despite all of the fun that young one was having, the warden was having none of it.

-Entering the store, a man threw his arms out and shouted, “Hello, Target,” and I aspire to take after this man and star in my own movie at every minute.

-I asked a man if he wanted me to bag his bottle of Mountain Dew. He looked at it intensely and told me not to, as he had plans for it. I hope beyond hope that his plans involved drinking it.

submitted by Andrew

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Exactly what I carry on my person, everyday, everywhere.

submitted by John P.

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submitted by RJ

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These are the things I usually carry while going drinking with friends. Include 6 different devices to open bottles.