I really want this to be Mary Shaw now, because then almost all of James Wan
and Leigh Whannell’s films are connected in some way. (Don’t forget the
jigsaw puppet makes a sneaky appearance in Dead Silence.)
Modern British Royalty au, because reasons. And also because I have wanted to write this for a while and felt as if I should actually do something for CS AU week. So… yes.
The cameras at the foot of the grand staircase go off all at once, in a bombard like an exploding star, as HRH The Princess of Wales appears at the top of it, gowned in a stunning floor-length custom Dior, blonde hair swept into an intricate braided updo and her great-great grandmother’s priceless Cartier tiara nestled atop it. She wears a matching diamond necklace and earrings, white evening gloves, Louboutin pumps (every detail of her outfit will of course be tweeted, criticized, praised, and pored over within the next fifteen minutes, and dominate all coverage of the benefit gala) and just an elegant hint of makeup. This is Emma Charlotte Victoria Elizabeth Windsor’s first appearance since becoming the first royal daughter in history to hold the title of Princess of Wales, heiress to the throne, in her own right, and not merely as consort to the heir in waiting, ever since the required assent from the Commonwealth countries made gender-neutral primogeniture the law of the land. Great Britain had watched its princess grow up for sixteen years, in gossip magazines and official publications and carefully released photos, when (surprising themselves as much as anyone) the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh had another child – a son. Ordinarily, that meant he would have leapfrogged his older sister in the line of succession, but there was a massive public outcry against the idea of England’s sweetheart having to give up her position due to silly old medieval requirements, and the process to change the law started accordingly.
Now, six years later, it has finally ground its way through the Government gauntlet and actually been enacted. Emma will succeed to the crown, as has always been planned and prepared for, and her baby brother, Prince Neal, will function merely in the career of supporting royal. (He calls himself that because none of his actual names – Nicholas Edward Arthur Louis – are to a six-year-old boy’s taste, hence N.E.A.L. Emma hopes it doesn’t stick. By a nasty little coincidence, that is the name of the boy who broke her heart, freshman year at St. Andrews. Left her gun-shy about ever dating another commoner, after the scandal splashed out across the red-top tabloids, recording in gleeful detail how Neal Cassidy had taken advantage of his connection to the Princess to rake in cash, favors, exclusive access to luxe Mayfair nightclubs, field-level Premier League tickets, and more. Then when she cut off the gravy train, he dumped her.)