black hole for my tears



Sams two hundred follower celebration. Yay! Thanks to all you people for following me. So for hitting 200 I thought I’d do a writing song challenge. Yeah I know more song challenges….
So below are a list of songs you can choose from, I’ll assign 2-3 people per song depending on how many people enter this. To send me an ask or im. LIKES/ Reblogs WON’T COUNT. Tell me your first pick and a back-up just in case it already has 2 people on your first. also tell me what paring you’ll be doing.
If you can’t tell from the song list I’m a country slut. I did try to include other genres.

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another ten years

@snowandbaz and everyone else who wanted a sequel to this! it’s really short and it’s not my best work but i hope you like it?

It’s been ten years since that day.

Ten years since the reunion. Ten years since I grabbed his shirt, pulled him close and kissed him like the world was crashing around our heads.

Ten years since Simon Snow, The Chosen One, the one I could only dream of, whispered “I love you” in my ear.

Ten years…

I couldn’t believe it was real.

The divorce went well. I mean, as well as divorces can go, at least. It turns out that Wellbelove (she took her maiden name back, thank Crowley) had become tired of their marriage too. The only problem was Cherry. She visits her mom every weekend.

It was a dream.

Living with him was a dream.

But it wasn’t even the makeout sessions that made it so good. (Though I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like them.) (Don’t worry. We always made sure Cherry was out at a friend’s or visiting Wellbelove.)

It was the small stuff that killed me. The casual pecks on the cheek, the waking up at the edge of the bed because he sprawled everywhere and almost knocked me off, the cheesy attempts at text flirting (Simon was amazingly terrible at it.) (It was adorable), the way he always held me in his arms when we cuddled on the couch… those were the things that made my heart ache with love for him.

God, I loved him.

I love him.

It was June. A hot, humid, rainy June.

It was raining that day, too.

“Maybe you shouldn’t go,” I said to him. “It looks terrible outside. Sour cherry scones can wait one more day.”

“Yeah, Baz is right, Dad,” Cherry added.

“But it’s our anniversary,” he protested, giving me the Cherry pout. Honestly, she probably picked it up from him. “We gotta do something special. Anyway, the store’s just a bus ride away. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Well… all right,” I said reluctantly. I kissed him on the cheek. “Be careful. I love you.”

“Love you too,” he smiled, and then he was out the door.

It was Cherry who picked up the phone.

“Hello? Yes. Yes. …Why? No, I am not handing over the phone until you tell me why. Tell me. Tell me it’s not what I think it is!”

“Cherry? What’s going on?”

She couldn’t look at me.

“Too much for my ears? No, you don’t understand. If it’s what I think it is, I can’t hand over the damn phone! Okay?! It’ll kill him! No! NO! You don’t get it! Please! Just tell me, goddammit! Let me hear it, not him!”

Her voice cracked, and fat tears rolled down her cheeks.

A black hole opened in my stomach.

In the end, she had to give me the phone.

It killed me.

Among everything else, they found a singed card in the burning wreckage.

I couldn’t think of a good reason to get out of the house, haha. I’m glad you both believed me.

Ten years ago, we kissed for the first time…

Happy anniversary, Baz.

I love you so much.

We only had ten years together. Ten wonderful, glorious years. Ten fatal, achingly short years.

But we could have had more.

We couldn’t be together before because we were idiots.

And now we’ll never be together again.

I’m really, really happy;

I forgot what this felt like, to be in love with lavender scented candles, loud music, rain clouds, blue skies, new recipes and peaceful solitude.

I miss you, everyday.
I fight the urge to call you when I drive through huge puddles, finish a new book, and argue with my mother.
I’m still your junkie, I just don’t give in anymore.

I’d be a liar if I said there’s not a hole in my days, nights, my heart - hell, my soul.
But, it’s not a black hole anymore, just a tear in my favorite shirt.

I’m in love with you, I might always be,
but I can breathe again
and I’m falling in love again
with fresh air, cold breezes
and peace.

I’m really, really happy.

—  Without You - R. Elyse (via @coupdeplumelyse )

and i looked at the sky when i was sad and my mind wandered back to you.
i thought about the time you told me that my eyes held different colors both light and dark and made you see galaxies.
i thought about your smile that you always had plastered even when you were sad because you didn’t want people to think you were weak.
i thought about the way my name slipped off your tongue like the tears that slipped from the eyes of those who lost who they loved.
i then remembered that the things you once said to me no longer existed. because you are now gone, and i am now alone.
the galaxies you once saw in my eyes are black holes and hold no color.
my name doesn’t slip off your tongue like tears anymore, it’s more like the angry rainfall during a thunderstorm.
but your smile. oh god your smile is still there. and when i see it i remember all the reasons i fell in love with you. then i see reasons i still am.
– im glad you’re happy. // shelby n. 11:01pm.