black coffe

Seriously though,

Black-coffee-drinker: “how would you like your coffee?”

Add-to-coffee-drinker: “oh, two spoons of sugar and a bit of cream would be lovely.”

Black-coffee-drinker: “sure, here you go, darling.”

MEANWHILE:

Add-to-coffe-drinker: “how would you like your coffe, sweetie?”

Black-coffee-drinker: “oh, black, just like that would be fine.”

Add-to-coffe-drinker: “oh…..okay…//#yousoullessbastard#howcouldyou#whothehelldrinksblackcoffee#didntyourparentshugyouenoughwhenyouwereachild#whatswrongwithyou#noreally#whatiswrongwithyou#sneakybastardcantbetrusted#andthateventhowerootedforyou#whyeven#whateven#imean#blackcoffe#likeyournonexsistendsoul#worsethanbeingaginger…//”


Also:
Black-coffee-drinker: slytherin/ravenclaw
Add-too-coffee-drinker:gryffindor/hufflepuff