Had a bizarre day. I went looking for veggie burgers at the grocery store and couldn’t find them after having searched the burger sales display and the meat section and the frozen food section. So I asked an employee. That went like this:
Me: I’m looking for veggie burgers. Could you help me find them?
Her: *gestures vaguely toward the burger sales display*
Me: Oh, I’ve already looked there and there aren’t any veggie burgers.
Her: Is veggie a brand?
At this point, I’m starting to think maybe she doesn’t know what veggie burgers are. She thinks they’re just regular, beef burgers or something?
Me: No, they’re just burgers made without meat
Her: Without meat? Oh, you won’t find those in the meat section
She turns to leave after saying this, as if the initial query has been addressed in a satisfactory way. Yet I remain veggie burger-less.
Me: That’s right; I’m just wondering if you know where they might be?
Her: Okay, let’s ask the butcher
She walks me over to the butcher and asks him where the veggie burgers are. I could have done this myself. The butcher assures me that they’re in aisle 7, and she leaves. I check aisle 7. It is full of meat burgers. There are many, many options – four different kinds with cheese in them, beef-pork mix, chicken and turkey. You name it, they have it. But none without meat.
I give in to my exasperation and break for lunch. The store has a wide selection of bento boxes, one of which fills me up so I can go back to my quest of finding meatless patties for grilling. This time, I decide to ask someone at the cash:
Me: Excuse me, do you know where I’ll find veggie burgers?
Her: You know, I don’t. Let me ask the service desk.
Again, something I could have done myself. However, I appreciate this new employee’s conciseness relative to the last one who attempted to help me. We approach the service desk and the cashier relays the query to the woman working there. Without missing a beat, she picks up her intercom phone and says for all to hear “MEAT DEPARTMENT TO SERVICE. MEAT DEPARTMENT TO SERVICE FOR ASSISTANCE”. I can’t keep it in now
Me: NO! No, not the meat department. I’ve been there already. I’ve spoken to three people now, how do none of you not know where or what the veggie burgers are? Is this bizarro world!?
The service lady looks at me, then her cashier counterpart, then back to me. It certainly feels like an episode of the Twilight Zone.
Service lady: Okay, sir, let’s go find the veggie burgers
She leads me straight to aisle 7.
Me: The veggie burgers are not here.
Her: They’re usually here
Me: I believe that, but there are none here. I’ve checked.
Her: Let me just double check.
Sure enough, my eyesight has not betrayed me and there are no veggie burgers among the plethora of burgers in aisle 7. We go back to the service desk and she pulls something up on her computer.
Her: Oh, we don’t have veggie burgers right now. The next shipment is tomorrow.
Me, outwardly: Thank you so much for checking that for me. Have a great day.
Scorpion suckers would be considered a novelty, but they do exist. You can catch a taste of an authentic scorpion sucker – with a real scorpion inside — in parts of the Southwest of the USA and Mexico.
Raw Beef and Raw Eggs. On a simple non-plate platter, you get raw beef and raw eggs for you to eat all at once. The twist? They’re watermelon and passionfruit. They’re both sweet. They’re both cooked. I approve the weirdness of it all because I’m a cat and I like to confuse people. [Ordered from Namaaz Dining as part of a Season 6 degustation course menu on 2 January 2016]
Last year for my birthday I was looking for a new burrito spot with more than just the usual accouterments i.e. Super burritos and tacos. I happend upon La Oaxaquena in the mission district. Along with the usual favorites that a taqueria has this place had some unusual things on the menu including Venison Burritos, Cricket Tacos, and Tarantula Tostadas. It seems that us here in the states get used to our protein coming from the usual source of chicken, pork or beef, but in the mountainous region of Oaxaca, where livestock is harder to maintain, protein must come from other places including insects. Unfortunately I was too squeamish to try the tarantula, plus it wasn’t in season (because apparently there is a tarantula season), and I settled on the delicious Venison burrito.
Balut is a popular street food from the Philippines and is generally centered around a living duck embryo that is boiled and then eaten out of the shell. It is usually accompanied by hot sauce or vinegar and is considered a hearty snack due to it being high in protein. The age of the duck embryo varies by taste but it is generally eaten around seventeen days old. The chick inside is not old enough to have a beak, feathers, or bones so it retains a soft texture. In some parts of Vietnam it is custom to wait up to 21 days until the chick starts developing bones, which turn soft when cooked. For me this is the one bizarre food in my blog that I dont think I would have the guts to try. When I asked one of my Philippino friends about Balut he said he would eat it as long as it doesn’t have feathers.
Imagine your OTP/3 going on a food tour inspired by Bizzare Foods. Person A is extremely willing to try everything weird from bugs to animal testicles while Person B (and C) keep trying to make excuses as to why they can’t eat. Bonus: Person B finally tries something weird and ends up liking it.