bizarre personal ramblings

*finishes a 60 episode american cartoon series*
Man, that was really good! I wanna get that on DVD so I can watch it over and over!
Amazon: That’ll be $25 + free shipping!

*finishes a 12 episode anime*
Man, that was really good! I wanna get that on DVD so I ca–
CDJapan: That’ll be $782.67 + $95 shipping and it won’t arrive for 3 months and in 12 separate boxes




do you ever feel so lonely that you constantly crave physical contact? not in a sexual way, but just sitting next to someone with your knees touching, leaning against someone, just feeling something there? and you’re so lonely you just feel empty as soon as they’re gone?

So…..what’s up, guys? Sorry I haven’t been around much. Life gets in the way.

I’m okay, my health isn’t too bad, I’ve been busy with my band and my Family and various other commitments. And you probably won’t be seeing much of me again for a little while, because in 4 days it’s Watain…which means quite a bit of traveling with the Family, seeing friends both old and new, and getting some time to spend with my Love after what seems like ages (yes, believe it or not, I actually *am* capable of loving someone, and boy, do I…with all my heart and then some).

I hope things are good for all of you, and don’t worry, you haven’t seen the last of me! Feel free to drop me notes and let me know what’s going on in your lives…I miss a lot of you! OK?

My life right now is something I wouldn’t have believed even a year ago; something I still don’t believe. The ground is shifting seismically beneath my feet and yet I feel so firmly planted. I see the road, long and treacherous, stretching out before me, and it’s all I can do not to set off running headlong into the unknown. But I have to pace myself; it will take patience and commitment. I know I will get there, I hope the oasis at the end will be refreshing and true and not a mirage. I’m scared, I’m anxious, but for the first time in years I have something not to die for, but to live for. I believe that this adventure may be the one I’ve been preparing for with every moment of pain and unhappiness. It’s in my hands and the many long arms of my Dark Gods; I will not fail.

Nothing is more pathetic than watching one grown man being obsequious toward another grown man. Especially when they’re both stupid, old, white assholes. These two fuckers are just standing here smelling each other’s farts and I hate them both. I have to put my headphones in to drown out their inane political commentary. Thank the gods for black metal, or I’d be one of these workplace shooters for sure.