bitter and sassy

it’s not a big deal but my entire life when i was funny i was sassy. i think about that a lot. about how sometimes my brother would tell the same stories, same inflections, same characters - but he was clever, he was funny. i was just… sassy. my sarcasm and sharp tongue and wit were always whittled down into kind of a bitch. when he was the class clown or a riot or a great guy, i was a problem student who couldn’t shut up, a disruption, an attention whore. i talked less than him. kept the ice to a minimum. pulled the bow of my arrow voice a little shorter than he did. he could step over lines and dance between them with entire rooms laughing. but when i did that, i was kind of full of myself. i was seen as loud, overly dramatic; my humor too dark or too quick or too feminine.

there’s power in making people laugh. it draws you into them. it’s a good thing to feel you’re making someone happy. i watch boys at parties who are so funny and everyone loves him and how they cackle and howl and never worry they’re taking up too much of their audience’s attention. how when i chime in, when i’m just as funny - if not funnier than them - all hell breaks loose. how fast they get vicious to me. how fast they turn their comments onto my personality. how fast they scramble to be the center of attention again: in an instant, the funny stories become snide comments. and i’m quiet again. 

sassy girl gets told to sit down. she gets called up to the front of the class because oh, if you’re so smart, why don’t you teach the lesson. sassy girl gets cast as villain in all her musicals, because princesses don’t use the bitterness in their souls. sassy is ugly ursula, is wicked witch, is snide sidekick. sassy girl makes you laugh when you’ve been crying so much you feel sick. sassy girl listens to you while you spill your secrets, knows when to make a joke and when to take thing serious. tell the cuban girl she’s sassy, watch her eyes roll, watch her heat up, use that latin anger that whips in octopus tentacles out of her. she takes everything so seriously. she needs to calm down, practice ladylike, less swears and less blasphemy and less sassy.

my brother easily relates to “funny.” my brother and most boys i know pride themselves on their humor. they know they can throw a comment into the air and have it stick to the wall of their peers, they know even if it doesn’t land, everyone will just cover their ears. it’s not a big deal. it’s just if you have two people in equal situations, like a brother and a sister both with the same shared timing and humor and stories - some even stolen from each other word for word and with exact phrasing - and if one of those people is treated differently, usually something strange is happening. it’s not a big deal. it’s just i don’t really ever hear girls called funny. 

anonymous asked:

I'd like to know what those T-shirts/sweatshirts say and I'd also like to buy two of each in every color

Damn it you’ve called my bluff. What are you doing to me guys, you know I’m no good with the sass quotes! But alright, here’s my attempt at passive-aggressive Tony quotes:

“You said “What do you think?” so I assume you’re not talking to me”

“It’s almost like running off into the sunset with your sweetheart doesn’t solve all of life’s problems.”

“Did you know ‘hypocrite’ has three syllables? …Just making conversation”

“It’s like the old times–when we hated each others’ guts.”

“All is forgiven. It wasn’t me, it was him and all that.”

“Sometimes I don’t listen when you talk. Sometimes I just watch your lips move and count the number of floors you can push an android through.”

“Every weapon you make can and will be used against you. Bombs, drones…arrows…”

“If only someone had considered the possibility of another alien attack sooner.”

“To be fair, I made mistakes too. I assumed a friendship comes with trust and honesty. My bad.”

“I’m not saying Steve can’t be right. I like to let past experiences speak for themselves.”

At the moment they’re all available as t-shirts and sweatshirts in red and gold. There’s an ongoing Kickstarter campaign for other colours but it hasn’t really taken off so far. You still want your order to go through?

Crackship: Nezriel

Okay so Sarah (@nessiansmut) and I officially moved into the loony bin last night after the whole Elriel/Elucien debate got too much for us and we started considering Nezriel (yes, that’s Nesta and Azriel) and we sorta ended up building a ship - crackship, but still - from scratch. Without further ado, we give you Nezriel:

  • they understand each other’s darkness: him being locked in that cell/dungeon and her drowning in the cauldron. She realises that he understands what she’s feeling in a way the others can't 
  • both of their powers came to them after being trapped in the dark
  • if Nesta was snarky with him, he’d sass her right back and she’d be taken aback to hear that coming from him. After that happens they end up making out
  • Nesta was completely surprised because wtf just happened. She doesn’t like him like that and he certainly doesn’t like her like that.
  • Azriel doesn’t go to the house after that for a few days because he shouldn’t be having these feelings towards her. He’s pretty sure Cassian is in love with her. 
  • but there’s a clear difference between romantic attraction and sexual attraction and she can’t lie she’s attracted to his brooding silent tall dark and handsome thing and wants to see if it’s just a front or not and he’s secretly so turned on by her fierceness and anger
  • so he acts out and attacks Eris at the high lord meeting because everyone thinks he’s into Mor. And he is she’s hot but not like what he’s feeling for Nesta.
  • and Nesta knows deep down she cares about Cassian but she can’t deny the strange sexual tension between her and Az
  • the fact that the whole thing is a secret and NEEDS to stay a secret makes it even more exciting
  • imagine one catching the other looking at them at dinner with everyone from the inner circle around
  • Cassian is just always there always touching her and he just can’t. Az would get so possessive even though Nesta isn’t hers and Cass probably has a lot more reasons to touch her than he does but that doesn’t mean her doesn’t DESPERATELY want to touch her
  • He’d reach his shadows under the table to touch her just once. Not even sexual just to see if he was the only one feeling this way. And when she feels that shadow touch her leg her eyes just lock onto his and suddenly you can cut the tension in the room with a knife. Just as he’s surprised that she looked at him and starts pulling the shadow away from her she subtly stretches her leg so it brushes up against the shadow again
  • they’re basically playing shadow footsie under the table
  • he saved Elain because he knew how devastated Nesta would be if something happened to her. ‘I’m getting her back.’ was meant as reassurance and a promise to Nesta
  • and that’s why he spends time with her. He knows that if Elain gets better it will bring Nesta some piece of mind. And when she gets better he starts subtly asking her questions about Nesta to find out more about her
  • and that fire on Nesta’s drawer wasn’t fire for the autumn court or Cassian’s siphons. It was fire for the scars on Azriel’s hands.
  • so the inner circle are all hanging out and the conversation kinda takes an unexpected turn and Az is telling her and Elain the story of how he got the scars on his hands and his childhood and everything  and nesta just goes utterly still with rage but she can’t really react too much but she’s so mad and won’t stop looking at him and afterwards she catches him alone and tells him that those who did that to him deserve to die
  • and the conversation is short and basically consists of them just saying that they care about each other in EXTREMELY subtle ways
  • Az starts teaching her Illyrian. And because he knows she likes to read he gives her the books he read as a children.
  • She’d be subtly letting words slip in Illyrian during conversations and he’d be so turned on when she speaks Illyrian. They’d be like feysand writing secret notes but in Illyrian so that if Feyre ever saw them she would just think that its spy messages
  • they have their lessons in the library and it’d be the only time they really spend alone cause they have the lessons as an excuse
  • in wings and embers Nesta was super pissed Cassian showed up because normally Azriel was the one that delivered the letters. 
  • In ACOWAR Azriel was about to object to bringing Nesta to the court of nightmares and when Nesta asks him about the fate of the queens his damn siphons smolder
  • Azriel comes to rescue Feyre from Nessian but it was really so that he could see a riled up Nesta and he is so mad that Cass can just casually flirt with her while he has to keep his emotions in check. But then she shuts Cassian down and it turns him on so much
  • Good thing he has great self control or else he’d jump her right there consequences be damned
  • he is an extremely jealous bat and he’d tell Nesta about having the biggest wingspan after he sees Cassian flirting with her. Anytime Cass hits on her his shadows tell him and he just drops a magic note to her with some sassy bitter I’m better than him crap and he’d make sure that the next time him and Cass fly off from near her she sees the wingspan comparison
  • they would have really hot sex after all that sexual tension though. His shadows would be holding her hands above her head when they fuck against the wall. Az would be used to taking control and Nesta would simply refuse to let him do it

Conclusion: it’s a beautiful ship and it’s meant to be and I’m currently writing Nezriel smut so you’re welcome

Best of Roche
The Witcher 2 & 3
Best of Roche

I love Vernon Roche. He’s bitter, he’s angry, and he’s sassy – also, he’s got a badass voice. I’m personally offended we haven’t yet compiled a track devoted to his best lines that embody his entire personality. Fortunately, I am here to save the day.

anonymous asked:

So....Any headcanons for our little pidge when she's sick? Idk why this came to mind but yeah lol ~Rae~

Sure thing! 

- She gets super bitter and super sassy when sick, right? She snaps at everyone, so naturally, everyone leaves her be. 

- Like Lance, when she gets hit with illness, she gets hit hard, and she’s the type to refuse medicine and just sleep it off. 

- Despite being snappy, she actually wants someone to stay with her, but she doesn’t know how to ask because Matt just always knew. 

- She also doesn’t want to appear vulnerable to the others, so she tends to tough it out alone. 

- She’s often plagued with nightmares of Matt while sick, but recently, her nightmares have been including violent scenarios featuring Keith, Lance, Hunk, Shiro, Coran, and Allura. 

- But, when she’s well again, she carries on as usual. She doesn’t speak of the nightmares plaguing her dreams. She plasters a smile to her face and falls back into familiar routine while griping at the others when they tell her to take it easy. 

The Suriel

Can I just talk about how much I fuckin love the Suriel? This bitter, sassy, all-knowing faerie literally gives ZERO FUCKS about anything but his clothes. He looks badass as all hell, and people literally quiver in fear of him, but in all honesty- he just wants a new cloak.

And honestly, he probably secretly considers Feyre a friend (remember when it talked about how he probably already knew how to get out of the trap, but he had Feyre release him anyway? Probably so he could stay and talk longer. Js.). And he totally ships Feysand.

So…my brain is being a indecisive assturd, can’t seem to be able to stick to one video game for a long period of time, been getting the slight urge to play Dragon Age again for the past two weeks or so, so I decided to test to see if my brain will stop being a douche by creating a character how I had envisioned my Warden to look like with the Inquisition’s character creator.

Bioware ples give us the Warden back in DA4, I miss my Warden :(((( I want my bitter, angry, sassy Cousland baby back.

METTATON OFFICIAL-Today at 1:11 AM

i feel like…if hes [sixes] a tsundere. which he is, and i love him
maitri is, somehow, a deretsun

skelebrity-Today at 1:12 AM

think hes sweet but hes a MENACE

METTATON OFFICIAL-Today at 1:12 AM

TRULY

skelebrity-Today at 1:13 AM

LV WILL CONFIRM BUT IN SOME AWFUL MUSHY GUSHY SLEW BECAUSE HES SMITTEN

METTATON OFFICIAL-Today at 1:13 AM

SWEET ON THE OUTSIDE… DERISIVE, BITTER, CATTY AND SASSY ON THE INSIDE
“Have you met my absolutely worthless husband?” (heart)

skelebrity-Today at 1:16 AM

I FEEL LIKE HE WOULD BUT NOT MEAN IT MEAN IT
“All he does is sleep all day. I think I need a new one…” (WARNINGLY, TO REMIND LV THAT HES SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY BE DOING SOMETHING) (LV, WAVING HIS HAND DISMISSIVELY AND LETTING HIS DUMB ACCENT SLIP IN A HALF ASLEEP GRUMBLE) “yeah, yeah, yeah. yer not gettin’ rid ‘f me anytime soon and we all know it.” “KEEP THINKING THAT AND SEE WHERE YOU END UP, HONEY!”

Marvel Character Analysis 🙅

The Twins (Wanda and Pietro Maximoff) - Cancer ♋️

“I don’t see the big picture, I have a little picture. I take it out and look at it. Everyday” – Avengers Age of Ultron    

They spent their whole lives suffering and searching for revenging their adoptive parents death.

Pietro and Wanda Maximoff were born in Eastern Europe, raised by a couple of gypsies and after losing them, turned into nomads, always looking for a place to belong.

Cancer is constantly represented as the cry baby and yes, they complain a lot due their sensitivity. But their strongest trait is the emotional nature.   

Pietro represents the bitter side of cancer; jealous, sassy, overly protective, possessive, changeable, whiner, anxious and grumpy.  

Wanda otherwise, represents the (not so) sweet side; sensitive, thoughtful, maternal, perceptive, kind, grounded, caring and faithful.

What both of them carry from the moon ruled sign is the intense grudge holding, the instability, the very high emotional, for it is a water sign and the aggressive family bond. Family is the most important thing in their lives, with the moon representing the mother ruling their sign.

They grew up alone and the only thing they are 100% sure in life is that they only have one another, they are the most important things on each other’s lives and they will ruthlessly annihilate anything and anyone that threatens their family.

*I don’t own any rights on these characters, this is just my opinion/for fun.

Do you agree? Do you not? Let me know :)