biting cat

2

Nothing to see here, just a perfectly regular inconspicuous man with absolutely no criminal history and his completely normal cats

doodling JoJo before bed has been good practice so far my friends

If your animal hurts you, take a step back and ask yourself why

This morning I am typing this with my ring finger, as my middle and thumb are pressing gauze to my index. Please excuse the typos.

I have been blessed with either docile animals and animals that love me dearly. I know I have. And when people at work ask me about hamsters in particular, I tell them I’ve been extremely lucky to never have been bitten.

This morning Bernie decided to tell me that he thinks his cage is more of an apartment and he would like a spacious house more. I knew that day would come - he is a Syrian after all, and very few cages really exist for them - but I was hoping it would take more than two days. I bought the biggest cage that could house him but he is not a fan. He has experienced life outside out of the box he was in at work and goddamn he is gonna enjoy it.

The only cages big enough are only available online where I live and take one to two months to ship. I told Bernie this, but of course being a hamster, he didn’t care. So I gave him a tissue box with a few pulled out, stuck some noms inbetween the sheets, and made a digging cave for him.

Not good enough, man. I booped his snoot, and he bit me.

So first off, hamster teeth hurt like a motherfucker.

Secondly, I wasn’t mad. I did yell out a foul word, but more out of pain than any anger at him. It’s not his fault. He just wants s bit more room AND his cool toys, not one or the other. I left to grab some gauze but I came right back, and took Bernie out, and we had ourselves an explore on my bed, which IS much larger than his cage, obviously. Bernie had a blast. He tunneled under sheets. He tunneled under pillows. He climbed Pillow Mountain. He wanted to rappel down the sides of the Bed Cliffs (Mama said no).

Bernie is now back in his cage thinking he is Hot Shit. And while out of cage time is important, it’s equally important that his actual cage be big enough so that I can work an eight or ten or twelve hour shift and come home and go right to bed, and know that he’s okay and not bored. In the meantime, I’m thinking of going to Walmart and buying one of those long bins used to store sheets and making him a maze out of cardboard. A big maze, with empty passages and passages stuffed with bedding and chambers big and stuffed with bedding to tunnel through. He’d like that. I’ll keep it once the big cage comes in, but hopefully this will tide him over while he lives in the apartment cage.

Bernie bit me to show he was frustrated. He wants to run NOW, not in two hours, not in two months. NOW.

Luna, Apollo, and Aisha, my cats, don’t bite and never have, but they do occasionally scratch. Not on purpose. They’re trying to get down or get up, they slip, or something exciting or scary happens and they need to book it. And it hurts every time.

You’re going to get hurt if you own a pet. You’re going to get bitten or scratched - by them, their equipment, etc. If they’re a bigger animal, you’re going to get body slammed from time to time. It’s okay.

I’m not saying you can’t yell FUCK when the pain hits. It’s actually scientifically proven that that helps lessen the pain. But don’t blame your pets. Look around and try to see it from their perspective. Maybe they’re tired, or something scared them. Maybe they have to pee. Maybe you’re bugging the crap out of them, or they want to play in an animal way, not in a people way. Maybe it was genuinely an accident and your body invaded the space they’d intended to put their body.

It’s okay. Talk to them calmly. Grab a bandaid or some Tylenol. Don’t yell at them. Don’t hit them. Don’t be mad at them. They’re just trying to talk to you and it’s not their fault you don’t speak hamster or bird or lizard, etc etc.

alright but i can’t stop thinking about this… andrew and neil had never have pets. in their life. and they get cats of all animals:

  • Neil would do his best on researching about them whenever he doesn’t know why they behave a certain way, but still he’ll never understand his cats’ behaviour so he kind of rolls with it.
    It’s different with andrew, because he still isn’t used to them and they’re an inconvenience he can’t get rid of 
  • the first time they hear one of their cats purr is an experience they’ll never forget: 
  • Neil: Andrew…. come listen to this
    Andrew: ….. it’s vibrating.
  • just when andrew DECIDED to give Sir a scratch, the cat bites his finger. not roughly, just a sign that means “leave me alone for now” but andrew just thinks the cat doesn’t like him and tells neil he doesn’t like the cat either and he’ll never bother again
  • but later he tries again, luckily when Sir is in a good mood and he is pleased to hear him purr. Neil too.
  • the cats always get in Neil’s way when he goes to feed them, and they’ve made him trip hundreds of times. He’s stepped on their tails too, on accident, and andrew had to come to tell him the cats were just fine before he panicked. 
  • neil loves playing with the cats. he has scratches all over his fingers and hands because he plays hiding his hands behind the couch or chairs, and the cats attack them when he wiggles his fingers 
  • whenever andrew walks into the kitchen the cats follow him because they think he’ll feed them. they meow loudly and purr, with their tails up and scratch the counter where Neil keeps their food. Andrew just stares at them as he slowly pours himself coffee.
  • BATHING THEM. it’s also neil’s job, but andrew helps whenever he feels like it. 
  • The first time they bathe them, they discover that Sir is not that fat, he just has a Lot of hair. and also, that King Fluffkins loves water.
    Andrew takes pictures of Sir’s wet figure as the animal stares right into the camera with an expression that clearly says “help”
  • CAT HAIR, rip andrew’s all black wardrobe 
  • they had learned to keep their wardrobe CLOSED SHUT the hard way,   because they had woken up to the cats sleeping in there, over their clothes.
  • andrew can’t go to the bathroom without Fluffkins sticking his paw under the door, and he finds annoying the first times, but then he grows used to it and would poke it and snort when Fluffkins’ claws poke him back.
  • andrew finds all the shit cats do amusing: Like jumping 6 feet high when they get scared, running non-stop around the house and crawling on furniture with a stunned look on their face, the way their pupils dilate and the little wiggle they do when they’re about to jump on neil’s fingers, or when they climb up the courtains 
  • neil can’t be one minute sitting with his laptop that one of the cats HAS to walk over him and sit over his computer
  • andrew: