Starting my morning with some Shock Treatment songs.


Bitchin’ in the Kitchen - Shock Treatment 

Get the recipe for Bitchin’ BBQ Chicken featuring Stuart & Co.’s Bitchin’ BBQ Sauce. It’s the perfect recipe to kick off your 4th of July celebration!


Bitchin’ In The Kitchen - Shock Treatment

I always find the best vids on YT by just searching random words, example: “bitchin”


Another bit of that Brad and Janet/Shock Treatment magic. Bitchin’ in the Kitchen.

Watch on

tell them bitches quit the bitchin, get to strippin 

get up in the kitchen, make me chicken 

when you finished do them fucking dishes.

unless you dont want to. 

Today, I quoted the song "Bitchin' in the Kitchen" from "Shock Treatment" to my mom and she didn't get it.

Then I remembered not everyone has seen it, like, 17 times and owns the soundtrack… At least she’s seen it once and I’m burning her the soundtrack, so that’s a start.

(“Depilitator, why are we always sooner or later bitchin’ in the kitchen or cryin’ in the bedroom all night?”–also, I figured out the chords for that song!)

Sorry if this theory is already out there but I want the ‘lesson’ Beryl and Elsie teach Charles storyline to go something like this-

The family are out for the day are they not? So there will be no big meals getting cooked, and Daisy is off doing her exams? I’m trying not to look at spoilers so appologies if I’m mixed up.

So what if Beryl’s like ‘come help me in the kitchen, Mrs Hughes, let’s make a bitchin lunch’ and Elsie’s like ‘och I’ll only mess it up, and Mr Where’s-My-Horseraddish will then be hungry AND moany, and there us not enough wine in that cellar to help me deal with that right now’, and Beryl’s like ‘Never mind him! Also I have a secret stash of Port’ and they go off together and make a super-duper lunch like the kickass BFFs they are. Elsie manages everything fine because she’s not nervous AF, and actually enjoys learning to cook. Cue Beryl standing with a cute smile on her face, all full of BFF pride.

Then lunchtime comes, Charles wolfs the food down, and is all 'Mrz Patmore, my compliments to the chef’ and before either Elsie or Beryl get a chance to say anything, Charles jumps in with both feet and is all 'you really should take lessons Elsie’ and mutters some accidental uncompliment. Then Elsie is just sadface, says 'yes well’ and makes her excuses and leaves the table.

THEN BFF Beryl to the rescue, in the form of a polite volcano. Tells him about Elsie cooking, and enjoying it. Tells him how she’s been trying. Tells him how much of an arse he’s been. Tells him that he could help out in the kitchen too. Tells him to 'go after her you daft man!’

Charles finds Elsie in the library, she’s just finished plumping (punching) a pillow. He sits her down. She’s all 'what?’ and he’s all, 'Lets retire. Today. Right now.’ and she’s all 'whuut’ and he’s all 'I want to spend the time we have together. Being Mr AND Mrs Carson. In OUR cottage. Making the corners on OUR bed together. Lighting OUR fire together. I want us to cook together, no matter how bad WE might be.’ Elsie pauses, thanking the gods for Beryl Patmore, before being all, 'I’d like that, very much.’ Then they kiss, obviously. Charles notices Elsie tastes a little of Port, and thinks to hell with his lordship, we’re celebrating with some sherry tonight.

Somewhere in the kitchens, the aforementioned cook’s ears prick up, noticing how all feels right with the world. Then she goes back to writing Mr Mason the loveliest letter ever, because my newest ship needs to sail.

Anyway, something like this would be agreeable. #myhopesanddreams
red faced at the kitchen
both bitchin’
about how unstable
we’ve always been
and the sins
we’ve laid ourselves in
but she keeps
her eyes
on mine as she cries
a little as her cheeks
get darker
and i remind her
how perfect
tonight was
and the buzz
can’t protect
the fear any longer
and the anger
and she leaves
her doubt
behind the wine
and so i tell her mine
cause the blood we share
makes too
much sense to spare
a story from you,
i’ve never wanted
anyone to find
all the things that have haunted
me behind
the rhyme,
but i’m
ready for you to see me -
—  J.S.

“please don’t look away”