bitches-be-cray

Yeah, I was in CCDC (Charleston County). A girl wrote to me - whom I didn’t know - there and said she was searching for a family member and came across my mugshot and had to write because I was “too damn fine to be locked up!” 😝 It wasn’t a bad picture of me if I recall, I’d been doing a bunch of cocaine the days leading up to that mugshot!

There’s a bouquet of flowers sitting in our living room so I asked my only other roommate who has a boyfriend if they were for her. Homegirl ROLLED her eyes and said “Um, no my boyfriend only does roses, he does the best of the best and not random flowers.” Meanwhile she didn’t get any flowers from him for Valentine’s Day. But I’ll just go water my roses in my room and be quiet. 🐸☕️

Seussical in a nutshell
  • jojo: wow nice hat
  • cat: im here now, sO USE YOUR IMAAAAGINATION
  • -
  • horton: wtf who said that. theres only a speck of dust so the logical conclusion is that a miniature person is on that speck. actually a whole lot
  • sour kangaroo: bitch you cray!!!
  • gertrude: damn that elephant fine as hell
  • -
  • dust speck: so anyway horton you were totally right; we're a lost civilization on the brink of war and we're all about to die. Who-dee-who-who-who. Also we're guilting you into being our guardian. Who-who-who.
  • -
  • cat: jojo you're going into the story whether you like it or not
  • mr. and mrs. mayor: jojo you're grounded. no more thinking.
  • jojo: fuck yall i do what i want
  • mr. and mrs mayor: well we obviously don't know how to raise a kid so we're just gonna send you off to the war
  • -
  • horton: well everyone thinks i'm crazy but that's ok because i can imagine that i'm cool
  • jojo: well my parents sent me into the military but that's ok because i can imagine that my family accepts me for who i am
  • horton: yo lmao i hear you down there lets be friends 4 ever
  • -
  • gertrude: ugh i really wanna fuck this elephant but i'm not attractive :/
  • mayzie: bitch u right. go take drugs.
  • gertrude: k. ima go ham tho
  • -
  • wickersham brothers: lmao look at this nerd with that flower. yoink that shiz
  • horton: wtf literally why would u do that there was honestly no need and now i have to search through millions of identical fucking clovers to find my tiny fren jojo
  • -
  • cat: by the way did i mention im a sadist??
  • -
  • gertrude: hey im sexy now wanna get down
  • horton: hush im picking flowers
  • -
  • mayzie: always use a condom kids. horton, watch my egg for me
  • horton: why the fuck would i do that
  • mayzie: pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease
  • horton: ok ok fine but be back in like an hour
  • mayzie: LMFAO BY BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!! SEE YOU IN HELL!!
  • -
  • horton: well its winter now and jojo and the Whos are probably dead but i refuse to move my ass off this egg ok it is my My Child now andOH FUCK HUNTERS
  • Cat: by the way did i mention that i'm also a trickster god?
  • -
  • gertrude: oh no im too sexy to fly... sorry horton.. ur ass about to get carted off to the circus :(
  • horton: god this sucks
  • -
  • mayzie: oh hey theres a circus in town and OH SHIT ITS THE GUY I DUMPED THAT KID ON uh hey man im so happy for u... such a big success... performing in a circus!! lucky u!! anyway i gotta go right now immediately so enjoy that egg!
  • horton: Where Is Paradise
  • -
  • jojo: fuck this war im going home to think what i wanna think
  • general schmitz: kid you're walking on a minefield... literally one wrong step and your dea-- ok too late..
  • -
  • cat: oh yes HOW VERY SAD boohoohoohahahaha dont worry jojo isnt actually dead he's just trapped in a nightmare realm filled with Unspeakable Horrors
  • jojo: fuck you cat!!! you've legit been behind everything bad that's happened! why didn't i call you the fuck out earlier!
  • cat: ok damn fine i'll turn on the lights geez...
  • -
  • gertrude: hi horton great to see you again hahaha so um i got all of my Sexiness™ ripped out of my ass one by one so that i could find you (and a whole lot of other shit) but no big deal haha
  • gertrude: oh also i found your dumb clover
  • cat: oh you thought this was gonna be a happy ending right here? you thought wrong
  • sour kangaroo: BITCH WE PUTTING YOU ON TRIAL
  • judje yertle: well horton's definitely crazy and were gonna boil that clover with the dust speck on it in hot oil for literally no other reason but to prove a point
  • horton: so uh guys if you dont wanna die you should probably start screaming
  • mr and mrs mayor: well the combined forces of our entire planet had no effect so we're just gonna put all the pressure on you, jojo, our small son, who only a few moments ago we thought was dead.
  • jojo: *gibberish*
  • sour kangaroo: well i heard that shit!
  • everyone: hooray!
  • egg: henlo fatgher i am Elyphant Birb
  • horton: wtf
  • gertrude: eh, we'll make it work
  • -
  • -
  • THE END

I’ve seen some really crazy “privileges” on tumblr. I’ve seen a self diagnosed people telling people who had been diagnosed with medical condotions that they have “diagnosis privilege”. I’ve seen transtrenders tell actuall trans and nb people that they have “dysphoria” privilege”.

Dear God whats next? Tumblrinas telling dmab non bianary people that they have “male passing privilege? Tumblrinas telling light skinned asian peole that they have “white skin privilege” (even though they are not white?) ”?

mellarksbae  asked:

I'm scared for the last episode to come out because I got the feeling that the anime is going to practically shove eremika in our throats, I really love them both as characters but I think that the anime is changing them way too much (or that's how I see it, I may be exaggerating). I really love when you answer questions and talk about your point of view of certain things and I would like to hear what you think about this😊, have a good day/night!.

Hello, friend ^^

Aww, here, have a hug: *tight snuggles*
If I’m being honest with you, I’m very nervous for the coming Saturday as well. I try to play it cool, but I’m definitely a part-time embodiment of nausea. Though, it’s important to explain why: it is not because I don’t want the manga chapter to be animated! There are legitimate feelings going on in that infamous ere//mika scene - of what nature, is up for debate, obviously - and it’s a canon moment between two characters who have a canon tight bond. I doubt anyone is actually trying to claim that Eren and Mikasa have nothing to do with each other… 

What I am worried about, is that the anime studio will continue the streak they’re on, of tweaking scenes for their own agenda. The manga did not shove the ere//mika ship down anyone’s throats, but the anime is undoubtably pushing for the fans to pick up on it as an intended endgame, as opposed to a complex bond that doesn’t necessarily have to be a standard heroxheroine trope, if romantic at all. The way they’ve been doing it so far, has been misguided and, in parts, at Armin’s expense.

Going by how WIT treated the material up until now, it’s a legitimate worry that they could choose to switch up the scene to look less like an emotional exposing of Mikasa’s heart (and a heartfelt ere//mika interaction) - and more like a standard love declaration ala every hollywood movie ever. Of course, some believe that’s exactly what it is, but it’s not a given; it’s an interpretation. Just like any non-canon relationship is. And in this case, the ere//mika bond is an interpretation WIT goes to the length of tweaking the original material to reinforce. And if that’s what they choose to do in the aforementioned scene, we know they’re viable to tweak out Armin. Disregarding, of course, how, if they think the scene is canonically romantic, it shouldn’t need any tweaking to be seen as such…

… but why is it such a big deal that they tweak, exactly? Well, because a little tweak here, and a little tweak there, soon amounts to a completely different image all together. And WIT had apparently been so focused on how the final outcome looks between Eren and Mikasa, that they forgot to look at what Eren and Armin’s image looks like now; it’s distant and cold, compared to the vibrant mutual love we see in the manga. It’s not without reason that people have said they forgot Eren and Armin were supposed to be best friends by the end of S1. This is why, with every little tweak, the Armin and ere//min fans groan seemingly excessively now. We’re getting to a point where the rest of the fandom seems to roll their eyes at us and say we’re exaggerating. But it really isn’t. It’s like when you’re having a shitty day, and then a car honks at you so you drop your coffee and you just fucking lose it. You scream and shout - maybe even cry - and everyone around you back off and think to themselves “damn, that bitch cray”. But they haven’t gone through the day you’ve gone through. Those fans didn’t pay attention to the anime’s sandpapering of Armin and ere//min since the start, like us. They didn’t pay attention because Armin isn’t a favorite of theirs, and they don’t like ere//min. And that probably sounds harsh, but that’s how it is; we focus on what we like, which means uninteresting things have to take a backseat. Sadly, Armin and ere//min isn’t as popular as Levi, Erwin, ere//ri and ere//mika, etc. - which means it’s just a minority of us who catch (and care) about the subtle changes to Armin and ere//min. This makes us look like a small group of raging baboons, because the majority is always right, right? In this case, the majority didn’t catch the changes before they heard our angry yells from the distance. And before they knew it, we crowded the room like angry protesters and they couldn’t tell why. When they listened to us, they heard “they added another two seconds of Mikasa instead of Armin looking to the left! Outrageous!” - “They made Eren shove Armin in the face! An utter nail in the coffin to their friendship - I can’t believe this!” - “Uuugh, Mikasa gets another extra scene while they cut Armin’s line about Eren, I’m so done with the ere//mika overload!” - etc. We sound like ridiculous babies, and it’s getting old. So old, in fact, that even ere//min supporters feel uncomfortable saying they agree that the dynamic has changed in the anime, just because if you say so, you’re not only lame, but in risk of getting pulled into wank-discourse.

The thing is, S2 is just full of coffee drops. All our emotions are brought back to the surface, now that the anime is back - and when the tweaks are repeated every week, seven days isn’t enough to cool down those emotions between the blows. 

The reason we’re constantly nervous, is that the way WIT tweaks things, every time they make ere//mika look more like a duo than they are, it’s automatically shoving Armin more and more into the cold. If they kept him close to his friends, there would be no doubt that he has a secure and true spot in the group regardless of a romance making him the third wheel, but they’ve watered down his connection to EMA so much that people question his ties. When they then further reinforce Eren and Mikasa’s “us against the world” vibes, it’s the closest thing to a contextual answer on where Armin stands we get. We ask “is he even that close to Eren and Mikasa?” and there is no answer from WIT, only ambiguity - aside from their repeated showcasing of “look how much Eren and Mikasa are connected, emotionally and by red-thread destiny!” That’s how someone who doesn’t even mind the ere//mika ship, can end up groaning and moaning about it, because it makes ere//min look like a myth. Mind you, this isn’t the “feeling threatened by another, more canon ship” one often encounters in this kind of discourse; no, we’re upset with the changes - because in the original story, the EMA dynamic is great, and feels as tight as it is! It all just ends up looking like we’re - to quote others - “pissbabies”. And once you’ve been labeled, there’s little you can say to get rid of it. 

… so yes, I’m very, very nervous about how much they’ll push ere//mika next week, but I like to pretend I’m not, because that makes me a pissbaby in the eyes of the fandom. But it’s still how I feel deep down. Because I dread how next episode is the last episode of this season, and while Armin is shown obviously care for Eren in this arc in canon, he was nowhere as noticeable in the anime. If they remove his involvement in the infamous scarf scene, that would ruin the last chance we got to see important interaction between him and Eren for who knows how long - as well as further building EM over EMA, for the sake of pushing something that either 1. isn’t canon, or 2. is canon and should read if it’s done the way it was in the source material. 

Personally, I think episode 12 could go either way, really. I’m setting my expectations low, and my hopes high. All I want is for them to do it the way it’s done in the manga. I’m here to console of celebrate with you afterwards, regardless. 

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Sentence Starters

General

  • “News flash douchebags, I’m a good person! Do what I can for you, all the time!”
  • “Where were you in my senior gender studies class? We’ll talk about that later.”
  • “Feel free to sit down, but I gotta warn you, I’m not good company.”
  • “Dude, are we not friends anymore? Like, are you mad at me? “
  • “I’m telling you, that bitch cray.”
  • Look, just as a tip, we don’t actually, like, talk to each other around here.
  • Underneath that laid back attitude, her’s really controlling and bossy.
  • I’m a good person, better than you!

Angsty/Emotional

  • “Dear God, I don’t pray to you because I believe in science. But I don’t know what to do. Give me guidance, please.”
  • “The mature, rational side of me knows you’re not a jerk.”
  • “Oh my god, he called every hospital in the area. And some morgues.”
  • “Can you just stay with me for a little while? I can’t be alone right now.”
  • “You kept using the word happy. I hadn’t, like, thought about that word in so long.”

  • “I make no sense! And you shouldn’t waste time on me, can’t you see that?”
  • “Sometimes it’s like you don’t understand me, or even believe in me. It sucks.”
  • “I have to feel my feelings. It’s okay to feel.”
  • “You did not see his face when he left my apartment that day. I was dead to him.”

  • “I’m the villain in my own story.  My actions have gone way too far.”

  • “We’re told love conquers all, but that only applies to the heroes.”

  • “I know how hard your life can be. Don’t forget to be happy, because that’s really important.“

  •  "I am happy. I’m so happy. This is what happy feels like.”

  • “I made a fool out of myself because that’s what happens when you emulate stupid rom-coms.”

Shippy/Love Advice

  • “I am bisexual! I am going for drinks with this gay man whom I have a crush on!”

  • “You’re pretty and you’re smart and you’re ignoring me, so you’re obviously my type.  “

  • “Yes, okay. Let’s engage in some date conversation. “

  • “You know, the whole reason that I came here is cause I thought that you were cute and that they were gonna be terrible, but you’re terrible and they’re cute.”

  • “I don’t know much, but what I do know is it’s not good to hook up with a crying girl.”
  • “Look, I’ve seen a lot of Hallmark movies, and the look on people’s faces before they run and confess their feelings? That’s your face.”
  • “I’m sorry he blew it. But it’s just….. it’s ______. It’s how he is.”
  • “You broke my heart, you dumb, idiot jerkface!”
  • “I’m way too bad-ass to be someone you settle for.”
  • “Okay, dude, so the moment you’re craving isn’t anchored in real emotion. It’s a script, dictated to you by our society’s patriarchal love narrative.”

  • “Oh, come on. This is fear talking. You’re just afraid she’s gonna hurt you again.”
  • “This isn’t about anyone else but you. You’re not second choice. I promise.”
  • “I don’t want to say I don’t like anyone as much as you, but I think I just said it.”
8

I think I can safely say that Oka Ruto has stolen our gothic-vulnerable hearts. (♡-_-♡)

She deserves Senpai more than that cray-cray bitch Ayano. (⌒▽⌒)♡

She is our occult cinnamon roll. Or more like.. our “spider donut”. Ehhhhhhh… don’t speak of it.

anonymous asked:

Tyrell beats hobos and pays them, murdered a woman, and shot Elliot and he's beloved more than Angela? 😭😭😭 BITCHES BOTH CRAY WHAT YOU MEAN?

im not saying angela is a crappy character, i actually REALLY love her, i just don’t want her and elliot together cause they have the chemistry of a dried up walnut

When is the suit gonna come off

Looks like its here to stay! At least for the next 3 episodes 😒😒😑😑.
Priyanka-ranveer-kamini, dont know dont care about y'all! Tittar ho jao!

Ragini, cray bitch, no time for you.
Pinky, please die.
Rudy and bhavya- they need to update their music dear god!!
Im gonna stop watching until my babies get back in one frame again.

they say television shows teach you nothing
  • glee: taught me about lgbt rights
  • Law and Order SUV: taught me about women's rights
  • Orange Is the New Black: taught me about race and diversity
  • scandal: taught me why it's important to be strong
  • Pretty Little Liars: taught me the importance of friendship
  • Breaking Bad: taught me the blurred line between good and evil
  • House of Cards: taught me never to trust a politician
  • The Walking Dead: taught me how to survive a zombie apocalypse
  • Supernatural: Taught me about subtext and straight sex kills
  • shameless: bitches be cray but family is forever
  • Sherlock: gay sex yaasss
  • Doctor Who: ????
  • How to Get Away with Murder: … Yeah

anonymous asked:

(Normally-a-Zealot again) Hey...wait. You're that-loser-with-a-blog's roommate?? I follow them! What's it like?

Bitch it cray-z like we tried to make cheese curds earlier and just fuckin failed and like we ain’t even got no internet set up yet, so we just keep watching South Park and like, we make characters up that we’ll probs never talk about bc I’m an idiot and she gives me free art and like, we play D&D together and I am the inspiration for a lot of art and comics and it’s g12 if u kno what i mean

anonymous asked:

I here demand Kevin head cannons even though the bitch cray cray he is hot so it's okay to embrace the cray cray (I'm v tired and will regret sending this tomorrow.)

i literally love kevin so much omG, thank u for requesting thing omgg.


- as much as he loves browsing the internet, he can get caught up in conspiracy theories.

- definite believer of the mandela effect.

- aliens are real.

- secretly in love with classical music.

- if he likes someone, he’ll often get caught staring at the person.

- when he gets mad, he keeps it bottled inside.

- often gets in trouble for writing and drawing on his hands with sharpie.

- accidentally doodled his crush’s name on his arm, then realized he can’t take it off bc sharpie.

- likes Bruno Mars.

- ‘that i shoulda bought you flowers, ‘nd held yo haand’ his fav

- blood kink. blood kink. he has a blood kink.

- if he was kissing a s/o, and they had a cut on their lip, damn right he would bite and suck.

- giving someone bruises (especially on the butt) also gets him going.

- he likes chunky peanut butter.

- he’ll sneak full bags/cans/jugs of food/drink to his room and store them for 3:00am 

  • Me: Hey, you want to order pizza for dinner?
  • Friend: Sure, where from?
  • Me: I was thinking Marco's. It might be half off. Heheh.
  • Friend:
  • Me:
  • Friend:
  • Me:
  • Friend: *slaps me*
  • Me: I came out to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now.
  • Friend: You bitch.
So funny story

So this weekend I got drunk. My friend and i were in a uber. I rolled my window down and yelled to these girls hey looking cute at a red light and one comes out and hit me in the eye through the window. Not sure if they heard me wrong or what but def did not deserve to be hit. Now i got a black eye. Bitches be cray cray!!

anonymous asked:

Vhope(pls make jhope bottom!), m, smut, for the prompt you know how V became the leader for one day in show champion and also threatened a beating to jhope when they get home? Please write about that! Thank you so much!

Thank you so much for waiting, and i hope it is worth it!

HERE IS MY OPENING CEREMONY PRESENT TO YOU ALL!

ENJOY!

rated for language; rated for smut; rated for kink; rated for fetishes; rated for boys who can’t keep it in their pants

Words: 10,717

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jung Hoseok from Gwanjil was convinced he knew the definition for bad decisions; he could smell one from miles. Heck, he’ll even admit that he could detect when a bad decision was on the brink of sinking. Some bad decisions he variously remembers from 9th grade history were like the lack of safety jackets on board the Titanic ship or when Napoleon was convinced he could overtake Russia when he invaded in 1812.

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