bismarck girls

You gotta wonder how shipgirls came to be a thing.

Like, I just imagine some nut waking up one day and saying, “you know what? I want to wear a fully functional warship on my back.”

And when it ended in near-drowning, severe back injuries and general failure, some other yahoo said, “well you can’t be a ship because you’re not a girl.”

Somehow this led them down the path of discovery that you need to have the very SOUL of a warship to pull it off, too.

So then, how do you even FIND someone like that? Is it, like, “ma'am, according to the readings on our PKE meter, your daughter is a boat.”

“Well damn, I knew there was a reason we named our little girl Bismarck!”

“Yes well that’s great for you and all but she’s coming with us.”

Or are they not found so much as made, souls bound in some Lovecraftian ritual? One day you’ve just graduated college, the next you’re suddenly very worried about spontaneous combustion from minor injuries for reasons you can’t quite explain until you find out you’re a WW2 aircraft carrier. Once that happens, are you forever locked in that physical age? Can destroyers grow up?