Gusto ko lang humingi ng konting saglit para sabihing “Salamat.” Salamat sa lahat ng taong bumati sa akin. Sa mga tumawag, nagtext, nag-advance Happy Birthday, nagchat, nagpost sa fb wall ko, nagtweet at nagTA. Sa mga bumati kasi nakita nilang birthday ko salamat din kasi aleast binatin niyo pa rin ako. Kahit na nakita niyo lang sa fb na birthday ko. Salamat pa rin. At syempre salamat dun sa mga taong lubos na nakaalala ng birthday ko. 

Sobrang malaking bagay sa akin na bigyan ng ilang segundo o minuto para magbigay ng konting mensahe para sa akin. Simpleng greetings. At salamat sa mga pamilya ko, kaklase ko, kay God at syempre sa mga kaibigan ko. Pasaway man kami kapag magkakasama, loko-loko at magugulo pero sila ang dahilan kung bakit ‘yung malulungkot kong araw napapalitan ng saya. (Hashtag Medyo Madrama)

Basta 'yun, salamat talaga sa lahat. Hindi na ako magbabanggit ng pangalan kasi baka may makalimutan pa ako. Alam niyo naman kung sino kayo. Saka, nagpapasalamat ako kasi kung minsan nakakalimutan ko na kailangan ko pa lang pasalamatan 'yung mga taong niregalo sa akin ni God. Oha. :)

On Not Letting Time Slip Away on Your Birthday: A Celebratory Soliloquy

It is always important that, above all, we understand ourselves, and as I continually sail in this long-running stream that leads to no one know where, I can somehow say that I pretty much understand myself. Most of the time, that is.

I am happy. If, before, asking myself about happiness seems makes my lips freeze in what seems to be a combo of numbness and some spell that leaves the receiver petrified, now, I can already say that I am happy. Well, I am not perfectly happy because that is impossible due to man’s cunning nature and also because being that happy means that there is a probable depreciation of purpose into a null state. But I am OK, the gauge leaning more to happiness than otherwise. And truth be told, here’s why.

I have been blessed with a lot of things. For one, I have a happy family. My parents are, as you know, separated, but with my mom’s strength, we are doing well. We struggle with financial constraints, and that’s something that I have already accepted. I know that life is hard, and even if it is that hard for us, as long as I see my mom smile as she hugs me still when I wake up in the morning, as long as my little brother plays around with me using his zombie imitation antics, as long as my brothers and I have that brotherly bond, as long as my family is happy, hard can be easy. I am happy that I get to help them and money has never become an issue for us. I am happy that we have food on our plates, even if my mom cooks the same meals every week because it’s practically hard to think of something new to cook. I am happy because we are together and getting stronger no matter what.

I am also a type of person who relies strongly to friendship. I even often say that friends are my weakness. I feel terrible when friends leave me. I try as much as I can to make it up to my friends when I hurt them. I get hurt easily by the simplest of things that my friends do because they matter to me so much. I try to make more friends because I was always hungry for that sense of belonging. At the same time, I keep every friend that I have. Trust me, it is nice to still have friends from elementary, high school, college, summer camp, summer job, first job, graduate school, online community, or in any environment that you get to be in no matter how short time it would be. It is always nice to get in touch because it will be your reminder that there are people who love you and who would accept you for who you are. While I tend to sulk over the friends that I get to lose or do not get a chance to be friends with in the first place, I always try as much as I can to focus on the people to take me as theirs. It is hard. Most of the time, we deal with the pain more that we forget the happiness. Never forget the people who care.

I am also happy because God never fails to remind me how blessed I am and how blessed everybody actually is, only we all fail to notice it. We consume so much energy wishing that we have what other people have. As for me, I always envy people who are rich and need not to mind whether they have low grades or if they fail. I envy people who get all good things in life. I envy people who are rich and good looking and get good education and good job. I envy people who are happily in love. But then, God always surprises me with reminders that there is something in me that I should be thankful for. He gives us so much to remind us that there is nothing to feel envious for. We all have our own assets and we should know how to use what we have and what we can do to our advantage. We start that by stopping comparing ourselves from other people and stopping envying other people for what they have.

So why am I saying all these? Well, the word is out that I have added another year to my glass of time, and somehow, I always love celebrating it by talking about how far I have been so far. I have gained some and lost some. I have succeeded and failed. I have been through a lot of emotional turmoil this year, but here I am now, strong enough to thank everyone who remembered my birthday. I don’t have the luxury to set up a party to invite all of you. I only got one gift from a workmate this year. I don’t get to have a luxurious gadget or vehicle from my parents as a birthday present. But rest assured that I am happy. I am happy because I have you all with me. And birthdays are always best when you celebrate it with the people you love despite the locational barriers and everything in between. Thank you so much for all the love and greetings.

I have grown another year, but still, there is so much to learn and so much more to do. I hope that, in the years to come, for all of our birthdays, we become better persons. I hope that we learn from our mistakes so that we can improve and become more mature. It would not be easy and there is no rush. Let us prefer learning slowly but surely than learning things fast and not reaching the goal. It is OK to commit mistakes, as long as we acknowledge the wrong and we try to correct them. Also, I hope that, every year, our birthdays will be our reminder than people love us and we are wasting our time whenever we cry over the people who do not care for us, so just don’t let time slip away like that because it is not worth it.

My birthday is almost over, and thank you for putting the happy in it.