This week will be better. This is how it started and I promise myself this feeling will stay. I won’t complain when someone rubs in my face that they have more money than me. I won’t try to rush through this time of my life waiting for the future to bring me whatever I think I need. I will scrapbook my boyfriend’s birthday present, sleep in his car and get up for sunrise for our weekend date, love him love him love him, shower him with kisses and give him everything I can without having any money. Cause today on the car ride home when we were fighting over when he was going to finish college he reminded me that his sweet heart wasn’t built to last as long as mine. And I was holding his hand and wanting him to be alive forever, but when your boyfriend has heart failure you simply cannot focus on the future. He’s here with me now, he’s here with me now.