“What if Father misplaces you like his axes?!” “There’s nothing to worry about, your father has a grip comparable to the chelae of birgus latro. This allows me to peruse texts while still bonding with your father, and look! His posterior is within arm’s reach!”
Meet the coconut crab (Birgus latro), which holds the title of the world’s largest terrestrial crab (and indeed the world’s largest terrestrial arthropod). Found on islands of the Pacific and Indian oceans, it can reach a length of up to 1 m (3 ft 3 in), and a weight of up to 4.1 kg (9.0 lb) (see an especially large individual here: http://bit.ly/1UXlLhF).