birds' brains

  • Rotti: Now listen. I know you three are different from each other in a lot of ways, but as far as Daddy Rotti is concerned, you're all PIECES OF SHIT! Yeah, I can prove it mathematically. Actually, l-lemme grab my whiteboard.
  • Rotti: *drags whiteboard in front of his cildren* This has been a long time coming anyway.
  • **later**
  • Rotti: So in conclusion, you're all equally mercurial, overly-sensitive, CLINGY, hysterical bird brained homonculi. And I honestly can't tell the three of you apart half the time because I don't go by height or age, I go by amount of PAIN IN MY ASS ... which makes you all identical!

adapt - evolve - become

After spending a lot of time trying crop/center my art in the most flattering way on Redbubble, I wanted to experiment a bit with making art intentionally designed to be put on merch - stickers, T-shirts, you name it.

Also, I have FINALLY drawn another crow. I am so pleased.

Link to my shop is in the source, just click if you’re interested!

Women are described in animal terms as pets, cows, sows, foxes, chicks, serpents, bitches, beavers, old bats, old hens, mother hens, pussycats, cats, cheetahs, bird-brains, and hare-brains…‘Mother Nature’ is raped, mastered, conquered, mined; her secrets are ‘penetrated,’ her ‘womb’ is to be put into the service of the ‘man of science.’ Virgin timber is felled, cut down; fertile soil is tilled, and land that lies ‘fallow’ is ‘barren,’ useless. The exploitation of nature and animals is justified by feminizing them; the exploitation of women is justified by naturalizing them.
—  Karen J. Warren Ecological Feminism
  • Mercy: Alright, alright, I get it. You’re all new, you aren’t sure about your place in the universe, and you all wanna be the healer’s favorite. I can fix this. You two, you sit here, the rest of you you sit here.
  • Team: *change seats*
  • Mercy: Now listen. I know you two are different from each other in a lot of ways, but as far as Gramma Mercy’s concerned, you’re all PIECES OF SHIT! Yeah, *shaking head* I can prove it mathematically. Actually, l-lemme grab my whiteboard. *drags whiteboard in front of team* This has been a long time coming anyway.
  • *later*
  • Mercy: So in conclusion, you’re all equally mercurial, overly-sensitive, CLINGY, hysterical bird-brained homonculi. And I honestly can’t tell the five of you apart half the time because I don’t go by height or age, I go by amount of PAIN IN MY ASS…which makes you all identical!
  • Submitted by dirt-luvs-turts

Given life by the same fell energies which animate magical snowpersons, Snowy Owls require similar sacrifices of unpopular children in order to keep themselves from spontaneous dissolution. Fortunately for these frosty-feathered hunters, an individual child can sustain a specimen for up to a metric fortnight assuming that temperatures remain appropriately cold. Above, a Snowy Owl displays some of the early signs of depleted energy; the darker and more numerous the markings on the wings and body, the sooner it must devour a human child for sustenance.

Sharing is Caring (Bucky One-shot)

This was so much fun to write, especially since it was for my lovely Roo. Please let me know what you think! It kinda made me laugh, so I hope it does the same for you. ;) 

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Sharing is Caring (reader x Bucky)

Characters: reader, Bucky, Clint, Sam, Natasha.

Summary: Your mutual crush on Bucky is at a stalemate, but you get both get a push after Clint discovers one of your weaknesses.

Warnings: Fluff! Small mentions of drinking and prescriptions drugs.

Word Count: 1850

A/N: This fic is for my love, my darling, my favorite Canadian Insomniac: Roo aka @sebseyesandbuckysthighs . Happy Birthday, my dear!! I love you forever!!! Also, this was inspired by a hilarious conversation between the Avengers Trash Tower ladies and I that took place months ago. I’m so happy to know you all, my darlings!! And yes, Roo, I still have that legally-binding screenshot. ;)

Tags are at the bottom

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Originally posted by bovaria

“Y/N…”

“No.”

“Please, Y/N?”

“I said no,” you replied firmly.

“Aw, come on! You can’t possibly eat all of those yourself! And it’s just rude to eat them in front of me,”  Clint pouted, eyeing the box of cupcakes in front of you.

Leaning forward, you spoke emphatically, “Y/N DOESN’T SHARE FOOD.”

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Congrats Man!

Originally posted by spiderwoman

Series: Tom Holland Dad Imagines

Relationship: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Tom and the reader go to an event a few weeks after Nova is born and Anthony doesn’t talk shit about Tom in an interview. He sees Tom and the Reader congratulating them.

Warnings: swearing cause why the FUCK not

Word Count: 1,500+

A/N:Why I make these kind of imagines more often is because when I was younger the chemo I had damaged parts of me and I won’t be able to have kids unless a miracle happens. I’m living my future vicariously through my imagines when I type these FYI..


[Reader’s POV]


“Now you have my phone number and Tom’s if you need to call either one of us, I will come back immediately if something happens..” your voice sounding worried at the thought of something happening to your daughter.


“Darling, Nova is going to be alright.. my cousin has it all under control she used to watch the twins and even Paddy” Tom gives you a kiss on your temple rubbing your exposed shoulders with his hands. He’s been trying to ease your nerves since you started getting ready earlier.


“I k-know.. this is just the first time I’m going to be away from her” your gaze looking at your daughter in her crib. Her little chest rising and falling as she slept.


“C’mon love, we can’t be late.. I want to stare at her too but we have to go.. everyone is excited to see you since you gave birth to Nova” Feeling Tom’s hand tug yours in the direction of the door. 


“See you later my little star” you whisper to Nova exiting the room with Tom. His hand felt warm in yours making you smile. Once at the bottom of the stairs he lifts your hand giving it a kiss.


“Let’s go have some fun and take advantage of it… we haven’t had a night with just the two of us since she was born and me working..” His lips press against your red matte painted lips. Opening the door he places his hand on your lower back.


“Goodbye you two have fun tonight!” Sydney calls out from the doorway as you make your way down the sidewalk to his car. 


    Opening the door for you so you could get in. Leaning down he pecks your lips before closing the door. He then gets in starting the car and pulling out of your neighborhood. Turning on the radio and ‘Shape of You’ comes on making you grin in excitement. The two of you singing along as you make your way to the venue. Tom holding your hand the whole way as he drove stroking your hand with his thumb.


-


    Fixing your dress as you step out of Tom’s Audi.  Tom lifts his hand out to you to take. Placing your hand in his he helps you up the step so you don’t trip on your dress. Closing the door behind you he hands his keys to the Valet. The man gestured towards the start of the red carpet that had security guards at the end of it.


     Cameras were flashing as the two of you made your way down the red carpet. Smiling as you see the familiar faces from the movies Tom has been in. Slinging your arm through the crook in his elbow holding him close. Tom was a natural but you still weren’t used to all the cameras.


“Tom look over here!” 


“Tom pose with her! Show off your gorgeous wife!” 


     A woman comes up to you and Tom with a cameraman  Her dress had a huge plunging neckline in the front of it. Examining her dress its tight and short as well. Her eyes were practically undressing Tom.The look of her made you feel slightly insecure.


“Tom can we have a moment with just you?” Her hand sliding down his right bicep stopping at his elbow.  Watching her touch Tom like that made your hand tighten on his left arm. Tom leans down giving your head a quick kiss. He moves his right arm knocking her hand off of his bicep. A small smack sound erupts from the skin on skin contact.


“Actually my wife and I do have a moment, what was your question?” He asks placing his hand over yours that was gripping his arm. The touch making you release his arm from your grip. He strokes your hand with his thumb making you smile.


“U-uh I wanted to ask how it’s like being away from home when you film” she regains her composure from Tom hitting her hand away.


“Its really hard because I have a family now, I have to be away from my wife and daughter so it isn’t great being away from the both of them.. No matter what though the best part is always coming home to them” 


“you have to be tired of -”


“Tom there you are! c’mon lets get away from this one, you should have seen the way she was acting with Chris and the others.. I mean seriously he has his wife with him” Zendaya sneers making the interviewer gasp at her comment.


“How dare y-”


“How dare I? You’re the one trying to make a move on a married man who’s at an event with his wife”  Zendaya grabs Tom’s left hand waving his hand in her face, showing his wedding ring to her. Tom lets out a laugh at Zendaya’s actions. The woman face was red from embarrassment at what was happening. Zendaya pulls out her phone pressing record. 


“Before they try and edit this interview just know this lady tried making a move on Tom in front of his wife that was right next to him.. Say hiiiii “ She points the camera over at the interviewer who tries to cover her face.


“You’re going to regret this” the woman seethes walking away flustered.


“Zendaya I love you” a laugh escapes your lips as she hugs the both of you.


“I mean Nova is my Goddaughter, I’m not letting anyone mess this family up” Her smile shining brightly, she’s stunning.


“We’ll met you over there in a bit, I just want to tell her something” Tom informs Zendaya giving your cheek a peck. Zendaya nods before turning away waving at us.


“What is it Tom, you ‘lright?” You ask looking at him with a puzzled look. He raises your hand to give it a kiss.


“Yes darling, I only have eyes for you.. please remember that, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve laid  eyes on and have brought my daughter into this world.. you shine bright as a diamond compared to that rubbish that attempted to make a move with me” his words making your eyes get watery, he knows just how to make you smile.


    Leaning down he captures your lips in a kiss full of love. Placing your hand on his cheek to pull him closer. Giving him one more kiss before pulling away. Flashes were going off making you blush knowing people were watching. Taking your hand in his he guides you along the red carpet.


    Anthony spots the two of us walking over. Tom has a huge smile on his face as he greets his co-star. They clasp hands pulling each other into a hug. You zone out as you look at all the people surrounding you. Harrison was running around taking pictures.


“Congrats man! Nova is so damn cute, you have to bring her to set one day.. got to show her who the coolest superhero is… aka me the Falcon” Anthony boasts nudging Tom.


“Since you guys are in town for a shoot I can bring her” you say causing Anthony to smile and fist bump the air.


“I get to change that little girls life” Anthony boasts doing a dance move earning a laugh from you.


“Oi you watch it mate, she’s going to love Spider-Man that’s final” 


“Besides that Tom, I’m just glad to see you happy man.. You fit the fatherly type,it looks good man.. you’re lucky to have such a stunning wife” Anthony sends a wink your way making you let out a nervous laugh. Stroking toms hand with your thumb and giving his hand a gentle squeeze.


“Hey she’s mine bird brain watch it” Tom warns laughing holding you closer to him. Even both of you had your doubts but the both of you knew how to blur those worries away.  Anthony gets pulled away from us by an interviewer with Sebastian.


“I only have eyes for you” you whisper kissing the spot right below his ear. He turns giving you a quick kiss.


“C’mon darling lets head inside,then after it’s over we can go see out little human” Tom smiles down at you sending a wink your way.


“I miss her already” you pout at the pang that erupts in your chest. The thought of Nova’s sweet face pops into your mind.


“ I do too love, now lets go and enjoy the night with everyone else” His arms wrap around you pulling you into his embrace. The feeling of happiness fills your soul at the contact. It was the best feeling in the world,life was perfect with Tom and Nova. You couldn’t ask for anything more.

Until one has loved an animal,
a part of ones soul remains unawakened.
—  Anatole France
Secret Identity

Stripper!Au Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Just a good old Stripper fic.

Word Count: 3,671

Warnings: Crack fic, Language, Drinking, Suggestive Stuff… (come on)

A/N: I don’t know what happened. It’s incredibly long… but I had fun ;) Since I don’t have anything better, this is my gift for 2.5k Thank you all so much ♥

Originally posted by ddee99

“Are you serious?”

“No, I’m Wanda,” your friend replied with a proud smirk.

You rubbed the spot between your eyes where you could feel a headache coming. Wanda was in charge of Natasha’s bachelorette party. You were supposed to spend the evening in a fancy restaurant, but clearly Wanda had other plans.

“I love it!” Natasha took your hand and made you follow her.

You paid the entry fee and walked into the strip club. It was noisy and surprisingly bright. You cringed as the smell of alcohol hit your nose. Wanda gave you her best innocent smile and looped her arm through yours.

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