birds with legs

  • <p> <b>Seokjin:</b> Namjoon! I told you to roast the turkey, why haven't you done it?<p/><b>Namjoon:</b> Oh sorry
  • Namjoon: *turns to turkey*<p/><b>Namjoon:</b> YOU STUPID ASS MCDUCKING BIRD, WHAT KIND OF LEGS ARE THOSE HOW THE H<p/></p>
Things I think I know about the Throne of Glass series having never read it

Here you go, @catastrophicallyinlovewithbooks !

I honestly did try to get into the series after I finished ACOMAF and before ACOWAR came out. I got a few chapters in, but the audiobook narrator is INSUFFERABLY WHINY-SOUNDING and I just couldn’t deal, so that was a no-go. But, following as many ACOTAR blogs as I do (by the way my main is @bonnie-wee-swordsman), by now, I’ve seen most of the main series spoilers, and so have ended up with a lot of scattered knowledge. Here’s what I think I know about ToG (spoilers, obviously): 

#1. Birdman Legolas has an angsty face tattoo. It tells some sort of story of his tragical past but he gets pissy when you ask about it. Classic manpain. 

–> thing I DON’T know…how big of a bird does he turn into? Like…is he a human-sized bird, or a proper bird-sized bird?? 

#2. Celaena=Aelin. Came across that one pretty early. She’s blonde and an assassin and has fire powers of some kind? And is heir to the throne of somewhere? 

#3. Sam was a precious cinnamon roll who was taken too soon. I did get far enough into the book to have been introduced to him, so I was sad to hear of his demise.  

#4. Dorian is a prince and also a sexy motherfucker and his dad sucks 

#5. Manon is a witch but in a good way 

#6. Manon’s mom is bad news bears. No clue why or how but she’s a nope 

#7. There’s a talking doorknob named Mort. which alternately makes me think of Alice in Wonderland or A Christmas Carol. 

Mort is apparently a good bloke for a piece of hardware, but I do not know how or why. 

#8. Lorcan is Cassian, basically 

#9. Elide and Lorcan snuggle on a stone floor of some kind at some point. I saw an art of this and thought it was so beautiful 

#10. Aelin is currently houdini-ing against her will in a coffin buried somewhere for some reason by some person?? Which is just a cruel cruel cliffhanger SJM 

#11. Chaol. I am told it’s pronounced “Kale” but in my mind it’s 

#12. Chaol has not yet found love? 

#13. And he got hurt somehow? 

#14. And he has his own book coming out soon? 

#15. And is mostly a broody swordy-sword guy?

#16. But also amazing? 

#17. It helped a lot to see ‘Adarlan’ written out because from only the audiobook I was like “OTTERLAND”?? 

Originally posted by cutestcorner

#18. Aelin and Rowan are mates 

#19. There is a gold nightgown at some point that makes Rowan lose his goddamn bird mind

#20. Aelin is fae but I don’t know how she came to be so…I thought she was human to start? Did she pull A Feyre on us? 

#21. There’s a castle of glass which is just dumb AF from a design and privacy standpoint. Throne of Assses

#22. There is a Cadre which is like the inner circle but bigger and possibly hotter? 

#23. There is a snuggly dragon name Abraxos and there will be a fandom riot if he/she dies

#24. Fenrys, Fenrys….Is Fenrys the dog? fuck I can’t remember. He’s either a man or the dog. 

#25. Aedion is a Thor-looking motherfucker and because of his name similarity to Aelin I’m guessing they’re related? 

#26. Crochan is…something...I have no clue but I see the word a lot 

#27. WAIT WAIT WAIT NO THE DOG IS FLEETFOOT! #better late than never. #sorry Fenrys #which sounds way too close to a ship name for Feyre and Rhys and so confused me for a long time  #fleetfoot mac 

#28. There are people/soldiers maybe? who wear yellow stockings. Alternately they are also birds hence the yellow legs. no fucking clue 

#29. Aelin likes fancy clothes 

#30. Princeling/Witchling are #goals


I will add more as they come to me. 

Let me know how I did!