bird in a suit

Can we just take a min to appreciate that the Adventure Zone is a podcast written and starring 3 straight Southern young men and their straight Southern father(not to imply all or even most southerners are homophobic bc obviously no, but im pretty sure you get the idea) and it has the best LGBT relations in something not centric on that that around? AND several nonbinary characters who are also treated with respect? And no one ever says anything or makes a big deal out of it. Just. Yeah, Carrey and Killian go to pottery nights together. Of course Taako gets a skirt as his summer outfit. No, they’re literally a bunch of clay in a suit of armor, why would they have a gender? So good. I wish everybody was like these guys.

some oddly specific aus that no one asked for:

  • “our grandfathers were mortal enemies during high school and they found out we go to the same school and keep trying to get us to sabotage each other and you’re super into it but like… i kind of have a huge crush on you so i’m having a hard time??” au
  • “i walked into this restaurant and you thought i was your blind date and i just kind of went with it because i don’t want to eat alone” au
  • “i’m a cab driver and you’re late to a business meeting and you are literally the most demanding pretentious piece of shit i’ve ever had the displeasure of driving but i also kind of want to fuck you in that suit” au
  • “i started a bird watching club at school and you are the only one who showed up at the first meeting so now i love you” au
  • “you’re my neighbor and your grandparents are coming to visit and you’ve apparently been feeding them a lie about how you’re dating me to get them off your case so could i please be your pretend date for like two days you will pay me in concert tickets and mac and cheese” au 
  • “my friend told me lick your mailbox on a dare and when i went to do the dare you were leaving the house to get your mail but i didn’t notice so now you’re staring at me as i lick your mailbox” au
  • “i fell asleep on you and drooled all over your shoulder in a theater during a really bad movie and you were too nice to shove me off” au
  • “my best friend owns a restaurant and you wrote a bad review of it in the local paper so it has become my goal to track you down and fight you” au
  • “i accidentally set your plant on fire and i felt super guilty so i went to the store to buy you another plant but they ran out of the plant that you had and i didn’t know what other kind of plant you liked so i may or may not have bought you enough plants to fill a small greenhouse?” au

eggson-bren  asked:

Have you seen the video where the woodpecker hitches a ride on a man's car in Chicago?! So cute!! I couldn't figure out where to submit it to you but I thought you'd like it. The bird's behavior is also quite strange to me.

I have seen that video! But unfortunately, it’s not so cute– this video depicts a yellow-bellied sapsucker (Sphyrapicus varius), one of the few migratory species of woodpeckers in the world.

Like many migratory birds, sapsuckers breed in forests and rely on them for food to fuel their migration. And also like many other migrants, large cities create a “light trap” that can confuse them on their migration. Hungry and seeking food, this exhausted animal descended to a large city where it was unequipped to move around and perch: woodpeckers don’t have anisodactyl toes like most other birds, and are best suited to propping themselves up on a nice tree trunk.

From the sapsucker’s behavior in this video, it is clear that that the bird is either exhausted, or injured, or both. In the wild, sapsuckers can be more confiding than other woodpeckers– but not to the point where they’ll fly up to a city bus and rest there in front of dozens of commuters. It is also incredibly rare to see a woodpecker merely hanging like this; sapsuckers are especially active foragers, systematically checking their sap wells for sweet snacks or insects.

So, yes: I’ve seen the video, and I have a hypothesis I’m fairy confident explains the bird’s behavior. But it’s not a happy story: just like millions of other migratory birds that pass across the Untied States twice a year, this yellow-bellied sapsucker probably died unnoticed on a street or sidewalk.

(obligatory @why-animals-do-the-thing tag, since this is in their wheelhouse)

Call Tony Stark - Peter Parker Imagine (soulmate AU)

A/N: This is my first imagine, it’s a bit of a soulmate AU but kind of took a mind of its own. Credit to @irenelair for the gif

Prompt: Soulmate AU where you wake up on your 18th birthday with the first words your soulmate will say to you tattooed on your body so you’ll know them when you meet them.
You were walking home in the streets of New York when Spiderman and a villain appear in a fight and Peter is brutally injured.
Words: 970

It had been a month since your 18th birthday and you still couldn’t stop staring at the words written along your middle finger. An odd place for the words to be but the sentence was short and to the point. “Call Tony Stark”. Call Tony Stark? Those three words left you with a headache. You didn’t even know Tony Stark, let alone had his number. Why would you need to call him? Why did your soulmate need to call him? And how do they even know Tony Stark? You shook your head trying to rid these thoughts from your mind. It was hard enough trekking through the streets of New York in a snowstorm without a pounding headache to top off your already numb limbs. Pulling your scarf tighter across your neck you braved the cold winds as you walked away from your last lecture of the week and towards the thoughts of a warm bath and hot chocolate waiting to be consumed at home. Normally you would be home by now, but you had made the decision of adding another half hour to your route so you could walk past the Avenger’s Tower on your way home. In hindsight, it was a stupid decision considering the amount of havoc that was caused in this part of Manhattan, but it was worth the risk if it meant you’d be closer to meeting your soulmate.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

so I've seen some debates about whether tony would be better with a cat or a dog but I have a better idea: Crow. I mean, a crow would be perfect. They're fiercely independent, scary smart, and have balls the size of the sun. Also, they can fly. So, for your consideration, Tony helping a crow out and it just follows him home, and now he has a bird friend. (tree anon)

No matter how many times he tried to shoo it away, the damn thing just kept coming back.

Tony didn’t get it. The tiny baby bird was just… it had needed some help, and Tony had seen it, so he’d given it some. But that didn’t explain why the stupid crow had started following him around like a lost… a lost crow!

“Are you ever going to quit it?” He muttered one afternoon, as he neared the main entrance of the tower and, sure enough, his little friend suddenly appeared out of nowhere in order to flutter down on his shoulder, claws digging into his finest Armani suit without a care.

The bird just re-adjusted it’s feathers a little and pecked Tony’s hair. He huffed and jerked his head away grumpily, careful not to dislodge it entirely in case it caused further injury. 

“You’ve got to get off now,” he told it firmly, as his hand closed around the door.

The bird looked right at him, and kept that eye-contact as it slowly began to perch on his shoulder. Like a fucking challenge.

A baby bird was challenging him.

Well. He was Tony Damn Stark. He wasn’t about to be intimidated by a fucking crow.

“Shoo!” He said again, jerking his shoulder a little.

Stupid Crow didn’t even look away for a second.

Tony stared at it hopelessly for another moment, hoping it might fly away of its own accord. When it did not, he sighed.

“Okay. Okay then Satan. You want in? Fine. But if you misbehave, I will drive you down to Brooklyn and leave you to fend for yourself, understood?”

Of course, the crow did not reply. That truly would have been odd. (He’d seen odder. But still.)

Tony huffed again, but walked in with the bird on his shoulder all the same. “People are gonna judge me for this you know that right? I’m gonna be the crazy bird dude- and that role is supposed to be Barton’s only.”

“What about Barton?” And suddenly someone warm was pressing up against his free shoulder, hand taking it’s rightful place in Tony’s own as they walked together.

“I am telling my new admirer that I’m about to take over his role as crazy resident birdman,” Tony said, leaning his head back and pointing toward the black ball of feathers that was staring intently at Steve.

Steve, bless him, didn’t even look surprised. He just sighed. “Another one, Tony? Really?”

“Yeah, but this one wasn’t even my fault! It was the one that picked me!” Tony argued defensively.

Steve laughed, leaning over to give the little guy a better look. “Babe, I know you want to help them all, but we’re currently housing seven different strays, are you sure-”

“This is a bird, Steve, it’s not going to be that much hassle” Tony interrupted. “It’s just until it gets better! Please,” he did his best puppy-eyed expression, pouted his lips and coked his head a little. because Steve had not yet ever been able to resist that look.

Eventually, Steve just huffed out an exasperated but fond laugh, and shrugged. “Your tower. Let’s go tell Barton he’s been usurped, then.”

Tony clapped his hands. “you’re the best.”

“Oh, I know.”

Local Spirits Part 1: Intro

[Disclaimer: This is based on my experience and you may have different experiences and opinions.]

(Subsequent parts will be done in collaboration with @norcal-animist)

Local spirits, as I am defining them for the purpose of this post, are the spirits that are constantly around us, in the forests, on the beaches, in the schools, in the homes, etc.  

When a human begins to practice magic or spirit work, the local spirits usually can take notice of this. Some may find it rude, some may not care, while some may want to “get in on the action” and not in a sexy way. Overall, however, it is useful to build respect with them so that you may learn about any local customs or rules that they may expect you to follow. For example, the land spirit by my parents’ house prohibits non-native spirits from interacting with the native ones. Now imagine if I didn’t know that rule and I brought in spirit companions who then went out and messed with the native species. Even if their meddling wasn’t malicious, the local spirits might not be very happy. This is especially important with companions that may need to hunt local spirits for food. This can also come into play when collecting tools from nature such as water or plants. The spirit of that body of water or the spirits that work with that plant might have specific rules surrounded how you can harvest it and they might resent you for breaking those rules even if you didn’t know.    

But working with local spirits isn’t only about you not wanting to upset them, they can make great allies and friends. In my opinion, learning about and working with the environment around you when practicing magic is a very important skill to have. Local spirits usually know the environment pretty well and would be able to give you tips and maybe even hands-on help with your practice. They can also help you if you ever need extra protection. For example, imagine you’re walking down the sidewalk next to a lake when Zerg, the destroyer of worlds decides to attack you because he can. You’re outside of your safe zone and it’s hard to fight without your tools but luckily your friends with the eldritch abomination that is the lake spirit so she helps you fight him off. That’s actually not too far-fetched of an example but local spirits can help you in many other ways such as: warning you if danger is spotted, healing you, telling you what other local spirits might be dangerous, giving you tips on working with other species, etc. But you shouldn’t work with local spirits just because of what you can get out of each other. It’s entirely possible to strike up bona fide friendships with them that are just as strong as the bonds you make with spirit companions.      

Meeting Local Spirits

[The following section will be assuming that the reader understands the importance of protection, knows how to create wards and the like, and has effectively employed them. Failure to create and upkeep sufficient protection when working with spirits can lead to the reader or anyone around the reader, humans and spirits alike, being harmed. This section will also assume that the reader has adequate knowledge for banishing and actively protecting themselves from a spirit that seeks to harm them. Basically, don’t attempt the following unless you feel like you have a sufficient mastery over protection and banishing. (By “sufficient mastery” I don’t mean elite pro, I mean that you’re at a level of proficiency where you feel comfortable and ready.)]

One of the biggest differences between local spirits and spirits from companion shops is that local spirits are usually a lot less interested in working with humans. In fact, some species or even single entities will want nothing to do with humans and they’ll make that very clear. Others may be averse or even aggressive at first only to warm up to the human with time. The important thing is that the human needs put in the time and effort to build respect with their spiritual neighbors. Respect can be built very simply by leaving out offerings for the local spirits and inviting them to enjoy them. In general, offerings of water, alcohol, incense, and bread can be used. This method can also be used if you want to connect with a certain type of spirit, say local bird spirits, you just would need an offering that suits them. 

Parts 2 and 3 will go into detail about meeting and working with local animal and human ghosts, and nature and city/urban spirits. Check out this tag (x) for the other parts.  

This is Eli. Eli is a fourteen year old Umbrella Cockatoo whose owner recently contacted me hoping to surrender him. We are at capacity for parrots and do not take ‘toos, but found him a rescue offer with the Alabama Parrot Rescue, and are keeping the bird until Wednesday then transferring him. 

His reason for surrender was a very common one for cockatoos: noise, paired with loving his people a little too much. If they were out of his sight, he was screaming. Cockatoos are the record holders for the loudest birds on earth; a Moluccan cockatoo can scream at 135 decibels, enough to permanently damage a human’s hearing and nearly the volume of a 747 jet engine. Umbrellas aren’t quite as loud, but they are loud enough to lose their homes on a very frequent basis.

Like most U2s, Eli is a clownish, lovable cuddlebug who wants nothing more than attention. This is what draws people in when they meet a baby cockatoo. However, as extremely intelligent and extremely needy birds, cockatoos are ill suited for captivity and often become problematic screamers, feather pluckers, self-mutilators, etc. They simply require a level of interaction and mental engagement most homes, even experienced homes, can not provide. We at ACS do not feel we could provide an adequate home for a cockatoo despite being a haven for dozens of birds, for a frame of reference.

So please: think twice before getting a cockatoo of any size or species, no matter how “cute” they are. What isn’t cute is seeing the distress of a bird losing his home of fourteen years for, well, being a cockatoo.