One person’s self-care can be another person’s stress so you need to choose the ones that work for you. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, show up, and never give up.
The ideas are listed alphabetically as this can be a quick and easy way to both brainstorm and plan self-care activities. You may like to add your own ideas to this list!
A - aromatherapy, art, apps, apple picking, athletics
B - bath, breathing, bike riding, baking, brain exercises, boxing to relieve your stress, buy yourself a present
C - caring for others, caring for myself, call a friend, cooking, chat, cricket, cleaning, count backwards from 100 (Bonus: in a different language), concert
D - dancing, driving, drawing, drumming, draw
E - eating, exercise,
F - friends, fun, focus on what’s happening around you, foster self-forgiveness, find a hobby, flirt, finger paint
G - gardening, gliding, going fishing, going to a movie, get support, go to a friend , get “me” time, go on dates, get coffee with a friend
H - humour, holding hands, hugs, hopeful
I - imagining, igloo building (someone really did put this!)
J - jokes, joyful activities, journal
K - knitting, kite flying, kisses,
L - loving, laughter, lacrosse, library visits, learning yoga or meditation, listening to quiet and relaxing music, which impacts your heart rate, learn to say “NO”, look at happy pictures
M - massage, meditation, medications, mindfulness, museum visits (free), make a vision board, music
N - novels, new experiences, nanna naps, new project
O - orienteering, opera, origami, organize your room
P - playing, practicing meditation, pets, park visits, plating your favourite sport, practice breathing techniques, pillow fight, painting, play an instrument, practice asking and receiving help, plan a dream vacation,
Q - quiet time, questions, quests
R - reading, relaxation, rogaining, relaxing games, regular medical care, read a self help book, rest
S - shopping, sleeping, swinging, singing, sweeping, swimming, set short term goals, say “YOU ARE GORGEOUS!” to yourself, safe housing, self reflection, stress ball, self-care, self-improvement, show
T - tv, talking, training, take your medications, take time out, taking a bath, tennis, think about positive things, turn off cell phone, think about your positive qualities, take a class, therapy, theater, think of happiness
U - uplifting experiences or people
V - vacuuming, volunteer for a project
W - whistling, walking, watching a DVD, word associating game, create a word from the last letter, work on a new project, watch sunsets, write some letters or cards
One way to get an abuser and toxic people, all emotional vultures to leave you, to lose interest in you, to stop stalking you, is to be BORING.
1-Become as boring as you can be
Dull. Tedious. Abusers love drama. They get excited when they make people suffer. They love to be the center of attention. They want your undivided attention. They love to control. To control you, to control every single second of your life, to control every single aspect of your life.
2 -Become boring It’s a better idea than to just leave. When you leave, they might become so enraged at losing control, they can hurt you. They have no feelings. The only “feelings” they have are the pleasure they get of hurting, torturing, humiliating, making you suffer, and reducing you to become a zero.
3 -Torturing you gives them pleasure Having control over you makes them breathe. They crave all the attention they can get. By letting them decide to leave you, you’ll be free for life. When you become boring, but so boring, and bored, when you show no emotion, they start to look for their next victim somewhere else. Eventually they’ll be the one to leave you.
4 -They can’t stand boredom They need a victim they can manipulate. A victim they can torture. A victim they can control. They love to see their victim falling apart. They love to control any emotion you might have.
5 -Let them think it’s you This has nothing to do with them, throw them off guard. Your reactions, your emotions, your torture, your fears are their oxygen. Cut their oxygen supply. Hide your emotions for a while. With time they’ll lose interest in you, and they decide to leave you.
6 -For those who Can’t get away from their tormentor after they’re no longer together. For those who share custody of a child or children, continue to be tedious when they see you. Be dull as dishwater. Flat as a pancake. They can’t stand that.
7 -They move on to their next victim To suck their life out, to crush their joys, to manipulate and abuse. Remember, they must have control. Each time you meet, you must remember to be boring. You don’t want to arouse their interest in you again.
8 - They are the ones who can decide To leave, not you. Don’t even cry when they decide to leave. Show absolutely no emotion when they decide to leave, or they’ll stay and tear you apart. They will leave when they get bored. Just give them a hand. By being BORING.
Having a new journal is a fantastic feeling, it’s so exciting to think of the things you could write. That is until you open it to
the first blank page. Of course, it is no different to any other page in
the journal, but for some reason sometimes, the first page can feel daunting … I hope these ideas for the first page of your journal help…
1 - Add a picture of yourself, friends and family
2 - Contact details (just in case you leave it somewhere)
3 - Copy in a favourite poem or lyric
4 - Create a collage
5 - Dedicate the book to your self-discovery process
6 - Favourite quote
7 - List of goals or the things you are aiming to achieve
8 - List of quotes
9 - List of wishes
10 - Stick in a favourite picture
11 - Summary of your life so far
12 - Write a list of things you are grateful for
13 - Write about your travels
14 - Write about your feelings
15 - Write about the things you love
16 - Write about the key people in your life
17 - Write something personal and tear out the page
18 - Write about yourself
19 - Write your dreams
20 - Write a list of your favourite books
or … leave it blank so you can write about your notebook once you finish it.
Life can get pretty lonely when we are first diagnosed with a mental illness.
Our friends might get sick of us. All we might speak of might be how we feel, or we might not speak at all.
Our family might love us, but sometimes we see their eyes glaze over when we open our mouths, or because we don’t open at all.
Many of us might choose not to bring up our “problems” as we might see it in the beginning. We might not want them to worry.
The greatest challenge is having someone to talk to. Someone to listen. Someone to give support, no judgement. Someone who “got it”. We hear about the loneliness of the mentally ill. Unless you’re in it, you simply don’t understand it.
We have aspirations to have a happy and successful life. Instead, with our mental illness, or because of our sexual orientation, we find ourselves incessantly battling our demons, depression, anxiety, self-harm, prejudice, stigma, and more on a daily basis. Our grand plans of a great future get lost in the necessity to battle our illnesses, and with the need to pay our bills.
We get it. We are in it together. Please know that you don’t have to be alone. That is why we need peer to peer support. It is impossible to think that we can do all the braving it alone.
There’s so much positivity in great blogs - the voluntary help, and insights. Amazing. Your journey does not have to be a lonely one.