This week has been awful so I’ve been making a list of things in Mass Effect that make me happy. Just because. Anyway, I might as well post it. It’s all random.
Here goes: -“I delete data like you on the way to real errors.” -Din Korlack and Calyn’s bickering in ME1 -Grunt yelling “I AM KROGAN!” during fights -Bringing Legion to Tali’s loyalty mission and the reaction of the Fleet -That glitch that happens when you pick something up but it’s the end of a sad loyalty mission and right when it’s over you can hear Shepard screaming “THIS COULD BE USEFUL!” -James Vega finally getting to work with his hero, Shepard, and earning their respect -“Once more, the Salarian Union formerly requests that you not touch that.” -Garrus imitating Liara: “By the Goddess” -“Shepard! My friend!” -Jack taking care of her students in ME3 -Miranda leaving Cerberus -The elcor bouncer reacting to the guy who wants to get into Afterlife -Story time with Zaeed -FShep and Miranda being troubleshooting space divas together -Shepard telling Khalisah Al-Jilani to “keep asking the hard questions” -“Maya Brooks” managing to fool the crew -Mordin singing -Harbinger now ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL -Kai Leng trying to troll Shepard -Every message Shepard gets that says “thank you for everything you’ve done” -Ashley’s character arc -“After time adrift among open stars, along tides of light and through shoals of dust, I will return to where I began.” -The shortest interrogation ever -Liara and Shepard’s bickering during Lair of the Shadow Broker -Ann Bryson in the Leviathan DLC -The one-liners after a Renegade action (“Too slow”, “You talk too much”) -EDI asking question after question in ME3 -Shepard always making sure to tell Samantha that she did a good job, and never in a condescending way -“The Normandy isn’t equipped to land in exploding volcanoes. They tend to fry our sensors and melt our hull. Just for future reference.” -The fact that Samara can meditate away from others during the Citadel party and no one forces her to dance or talk -Grunt surviving the mission with the Rachni -The Normandy being reborn -“I am a biotic god!” -Nyreen being the much respected leader of the Talons -Garrus being awkward, which happens more often than you would think -All the Ashley and Kaidan interactions in ME1 -“I’m looking for my father, you bosh'tet!” -The descriptions of planets, with some being just a list of elements they contain and others being like “DO NOT LAND! DANGER!” and you land anyway -When the Suicide Mission is over and everyone survived -Joker laughing for what seems like three hours in the Citadel DLC -“No deal.” -Tali and Legion ending up as friends -Thane having a chance to reconcile with Kolyat -Bray -“I’m getting a lot of bullshit on this line” -Kasumi commenting on everything that’s happening in ME2 (also: Kasumi in general) -Ashley wondering if anyone ever drowned in the lake on the Presidium -Joker imitating Legion with Shepard giving them a look that says ‘please stop’ -“I have to make friends with the one turian in the galaxy who thinks he’s funny.” -That guy who went to Aria to get Shepard’s address and she gave it to him -Shepard’s look on their face when their clone tell them “I should go” -Flying with the mako followed by Critical Mission Failure -EDI and Legion talking to each other in ME3 -The cool stuff in Dr Bryson’s lab -“Hackett out.” -Scientists calling Liara “the real deal” -Ashley talking about her family -Blasto -“What’s with the Volus?” -Purgatory Club Song -Aria saying “I’m the boss, CEO, Queen, if you’re feeling dramatic” after doing something pretty dramatic -Samantha’s toothbrush -Going underwater in the Leviathan DLC -Mordin trying to make Bakara and Garrus a thing, with Bakara replying “For the third time Doctor, I’m not interested!” -Veetor'Nara -“I have to spend all day computing pi because he plugged in the overlord” -Shepard’s speeches -Steve and James’ friendship -That moment in the Citadel DLC where they all start shooting at the same time
I should probably stop right now, that’s already a lot.
This is what I accidentally wrote while ignoring the “angst” bit of the angst prompts … Angsty Shenko will follow! Probably hopefully also something that’s actually good.
“Please, put it DOWN!”
The annoyance in Kaidan’s voice stood at odds with the “please” his internalised Canadian politeness had probably forced him to add to the demand. A politeness Shepard usually found more than endearing if not a bit amusing. Right now, she hardly noticed it. Her full attention was not on the exasperated man behind her but focussed on her hands instead. Or rather what was in them.
“But Kaidan! Just … look.” She raised her hands a bit higher, not only to show their content to the Major but also bring them to eye level with her.
“Shepard, no. Put it down. Now.”
“But I love it,” she whispered as tiny black eyes sleepily blinked at her.
“Shepard, you are NOT buying another hamster!”
“Look how fat it is! It looks like a tiny, hairy volus,” she cooed. “I’ll call you Biotic God.”
There was a loud groan behind her. “You are not calling it anything. We are not getting another hamster!”
“Well, maybe WE will not get another hamster but I certainly will. It’s my cabin.”
“No, it’s OUR cabin. You made sure of it when you decided to relocate all my things while I was in the shower so I had to walk there in nothing but a towel.”
Ah. Good times. But even the memory of her favorite well-build marine in a towel couldn’t distract her from her current mission: Getting a fluffy roommate for Commander Fluffington.
“No more hamsters! And that’s my final word.”
As if to cement his declaration, Kaidan turned around and basically stomped out of the store, muttering under his breath. Next to her, Garrus snorted - or at least made what seemed the turian equivalent of the sound.
“Let me guess: You are still getting that hamster.”
“Of course I am.”
“You are lucky that man loves you so much. He’ll probably forgive you.”
“He’ll not even notice it’s there.”
“Shepard, it’s a space hamster. Your cabin isn’t that big. He will notice it’s there.”
“Well, then I’ll have to make sure he doesn’t,” Shepard said with a smirk and a devious glimmer in her eye, beckoning the clerk over with her not-hamster-holding-hand.
In another news I am picturing characters from the trilogy going to Andromeda
-Tela Vasir: would be the asari Pathfinder, good friends with Raeka but always starting shit, half in love with Sloane -Niftu Cal: THE BIOTIC GOD telling the Archon and other kett: “Fear me, lesser creatures, for I am biotics made flesh!” -Khalisah Al-Jilani: raising hell if you throw her in jail for doing her job; watch out because democracy and freedom of the press is still a thing -Maelon: genuinely trying to atone for his mistakes in Andromeda and witnessing a new age for the krogan, he sees them daring to hope again
A list of favourite bit-part Mass Effect 2 NPCs in no particular order:
“Suddenly you look up and your figures gone all matriarchal and no one else remembers what the quarians look like under their suits” half-kroganbartending asari
“Are there fish in there” Krogan
“I’m nearly 17, gotta get cracking with this whole adulthood thing” salarian and “I’m finially 80 and out of my parents house for the first time let’s wreck shit” asari joining a merc band together on Illium
“I AM A BIOTIC GOD” Volus
That one Quarian who keeps looking at used ships on the citadel
Poor beleaguered out-of-her-depth asairi detective on Illium begging you to take the justiciar out of her custody
“SIR ISSAC NEWTON IS THE DEADLIEST SUNOFABITCH IN SPACE”
A sketch because I need to practice and also because I have no doubts in my mind that my vanguard Shep would have spent hours with Samara trying to learn and practice biotic tips from the justicar (and failing miserably because she doesn’t have centuries to perfect them like Samara does)