2.4.17  ♡  24/100 days of productivity

One of the best things in the world is guessing on a bunch of questions on a test and actually getting them all right. On another note, I’ve been having a crisis over how I’m paying for college. I could probably sell a kidney or two.

Chemist vs. Bio Jokes- Family Style

My dad is a Chemist, I’m studying Biology. Here is what it’s like for my poor mom when we joke around-

Dad: “Johnny was a chemist’s son but now he is no more…”
Dad & Me: “for what he thought was H2O was H2SO4!”

Me: “Hey dad, what do you do with a dead Chemist?… If you can’t Curiam or Helium you gotta Barium!”
Dad: “How many Biologists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?… Four- 1 to screw it in and 3 to catalogue the environmental impact”

Dad: “Sodium and Chloride got into a fight- they were both charged with a salt”
Me: “The name’s Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared”
Mom: “I swear it’s like you got all your genes from him. I live in a house of nerds!”
Me: “Well then, why don’t you make like a Blastula and cleave?!”

I googled science pick-up lines and I was not disappointed
  • You’re so hot, you denature my proteins. 
  • Do you have 11 protons? ‘Cause you’re Sodium fine!  
  • You make my anoxic sediments want to increase their redox potential. 
  • I’m more attracted to you than F is attracted to an electron. 
  • We fit together like the sticky ends of recombinant DNA. 
  • You’re hotter than a bunsen burner set to full power. 
  • If I were a neurotransmitter, I would be dopamine so I could activate your reward pathway. 
  • According to the second law of thermodynamics, you’re supposed to share your hotness with me. 
  • How about me and you go back to my place and form a covalent bond?
  • I wish I were Adenine because then I could get paired with U.
  • If you were C6, and I were H12, all we would need is the air we breathe to be sweeter than sugar.
  • I want to stick to u like glue-cose.
  • You must be the one for me, since my selectively permeable membrane let you through.