biology-jokes

Chemist vs. Bio Jokes- Family Style

My dad is a Chemist, I’m studying Biology. Here is what it’s like for my poor mom when we joke around-

Dad: “Johnny was a chemist’s son but now he is no more…”
Dad & Me: “for what he thought was H2O was H2SO4!”

Me: “Hey dad, what do you do with a dead Chemist?… If you can’t Curiam or Helium you gotta Barium!”
Dad: “How many Biologists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?… Four- 1 to screw it in and 3 to catalogue the environmental impact”

Dad: “Sodium and Chloride got into a fight- they were both charged with a salt”
Me: “The name’s Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared”
Mom: “I swear it’s like you got all your genes from him. I live in a house of nerds!”
Me: “Well then, why don’t you make like a Blastula and cleave?!”

I like to imagine alien biologists discovering the earth millions of years after human extinction and being so confused by the whole introduced species thing. They will be going back through the fossil record and be like “ok this all makes sense except I cannot for the life of me figure out how the ancestor of this toad dispersed from South America to Australia”.