biographies memoirs

I want to live the rest of my life, however long or short, with as much sweetness as I can decently manage, loving all the people I love, and doing as much as I can of the work I still have to do. I am going to write fire until it comes out of my ears, my eyes, my noseholes—everywhere. Until it’s every breath I breathe. I’m going to go out like a fucking meteor!
—  Audre Lorde, excerpt from a journal entry collected in A Burst of Light
If a man knows more than others, he
becomes lonely. But loneliness is not necessarily inimical to
companionship, for no one is more sensitive to companionship than
the lonely man, and companionship thrives only when each
individual remembers his individuality and does not identify himself
with others.
—  Carl Jung, “Memories, Dreams, Reflections”
I have friends who have been searching in vain for two decades for some simple explanation of the meaning of life. I’m convinced that there is no such meaning.

I don’t ask for the meaning of the song of a bird or the rising of the sun on a misty morning. There they are, and they are beautiful, and I embrace them when I can. They are part of living, and living does have a value. When we’re gone, the world vanishes forever. We lose the baseball and Vermeer, the poetry of Keats, and the moves of Fred Astaire, wives and children, brothers and sisters, the smell of dogs in winter and the sound of bees on a summer afternoon. 

Knowing you will soon lose makes living even more precious, and the older individual becomes infinitely more concerned with time. I find myself more conscious of light, because light is the most primitive measure of time; I spend as many hours possible in the country, where movement of the sun is so much more obvious and poignant than it is in the city. I arrange my social life in different ways, avoiding whenever possible the brittle chatter of cocktail parties, the strained social performances at formal dinners. I seldom read books when they are published and find myself drawn back to the classics, to a few books that I first read years ago and failed to understand and that now seem to be about my own time on earth. More frequently now, I read history, biographies, memoirs, and journals because they have the effect of lengthening my life backward into the past, and because the complicated stories of other lives layer and multiply my own.
—  Pete Hamill, “Rolling the Dice”, Esquire June 1998
Another odd feature of the parallel universe is that although it is invisible from this side, once you are in it you can easily see the world you came from. Sometimes the world you came from looks huge and menacing, quivering like a vast pile of jelly; at other times it is miniaturized and alluring, a-spin and shining in its orbit. Either way, it can’t be discounted.
Every window on Alcatraz has a view of San Francisco.
—  Susanna Kaysen, Girl, Interrupted

I’ve been listening to some of the audiobooks I downloaded over the weekend, mostly (auto)biographies/memoirs and I’m starting to think that they’re all required to include a chapter dedicated to lamenting how everyone is glued to their phones nowadays and how did we all become completely dependent on technology and why doesn’t anyone hold the door open for anyone else anymore and who turned down the heat in here it’s freezing?! 

When I came summer, I spent the twilight at “Utano” in Kyoto.

Because there is a pond near here, there is a strange old-fashioned Japanese emotion and feeling still now.It was my pleasure to take a walk from the narrow path through the countryside, along the dark road along the mountain where the insect sounds.Especially at night “Utano” was full of darkness, there was a world different from reality.While I was walking through the world, I felt an indigenous feeling of Japan such as a lost “REIKI/(a spiritual atmosphere)” and “YOkI/(a ghostly atmosphere)”.Such a feeling changes design and is being forgotten in modern times.Things that are visible are given priority, and the existence of invisible things will fade away.It seems that modern Japanese people are moving their eyes only.It may be my prejudice.

One night, I decided to record the feeling I felt here through the method of composing.And I thought of expressing the night scene of “Utano"by music track.It was because I wanted to inform the scenery of the different world that exists in Japan.My this attempt may be outdated.If I leave the feeling there in the sound record, someone will know some day someday.Just because of that thought, I put the feeling as it was in music.Timbre is coloring sensation, and the chain makes a different world of music.The person feels it through the ears.When we learn how to feel it we will have a sense viewpoint.In this song, I tried to make the sounds felt in the land “Utano”.

Here I will leave a record of “Utano” in 4:18. 冥 亭 / MEI-TEI

Lesbian & Bi Women Lambda Literary Award Winners!

Lesbian Fiction: Under the Udala Trees by Chinelo Okparanta

Bisexual Fiction: The Life and Death of Sophie Stark by Anna North

Bisexual Nonfiction: Irrepressible: The Jazz Age Life of Henrietta Bingham by Emily Bingham

LGBT Nonfiction: “No One Helped”: Kitty Genovese, New York City, and the Myth of Urban Apathy by Marcia M. Gallo

Lesbian Poetry: Life in a Box is a Pretty Life by Dawn Lundy Martin

Lesbian Mystery (TIE): Ordinary Mayhem by Victoria Brownworth & Tarnished Gold by Ann Aptaker

Lesbian Memoir/Biography: Objects in Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear by Kate Carroll de Gutes

Lesbian Romance: Making A Comeback by Julie Blair

Lesbian Erotica: The Muse by Meghan O’Brien

LGBT Fiction Anthology: Beyond: The Queer Sci-Fi & Fantasy Comic Anthology edited by Sfé R. Monster and Taneka Stotts

LGBT Drama: Bright Half Life by Tanya Barfield

LGBT SF/F/Horror: The Gracekeepers by Kirsty Logan

Carta Digital a alguna de mis yo’s que leera esto en el futuro.
Si, mi historia es bien rara,o tal vez asi la veamos todes pero nadie se atreve a expresarse así.
A mi, una joven millenial de alma vieja,pensamiento humanista, actitudes a veces fatalistas…
ME han estado pasando cosas bien curiosas, cosas que no se,
veo a mi alrededor y al menos no saca la gente a colación tan fácilmente  
Ya me friendszonearon sin si quiera tener intenciones de salir de esta zona :v (si, vera usted, un amigo de hace días… DIAS)
Bueno, también me toco mi turno de friendzoneo por que no? Uno tambien tiene su auto aprecio y consciencia de merecimiento…
-Aprendiendo a decir NO-
A horas de dar el ultimo abrazo de año nuevo recibo por DM de Instagram mi primer dickpick de un vato RAAAANDOM,( no se preocupe, durante la cena de navidad también )
El dude que de pronto taaanto me gustaba, chin, que crees , te ha “ocultado” que te busca como su segunda opción,porque tiene pleitos con una morrita mas morrita que tu,y obvi, se la compra toda de la que te va a ver la cara, total, una mas.
( Si, al menos lo intento, y yo lo intente, quise confiar, pero … En lo que era la caja de Pandora o Schroedinger, Oh sweet redes sociales, deidades de la verdad…)
Claro,no digo que nunca haya sido correspondida, antes de esto aya que lo era, el punto aquí, es que mi cordura, el caos, mi vulnerable cordura,y ecuanimidad, nadan como perrito chihuahua nervioso por hacerlo bien. 
Entonces, algo pasa, BOOM 
ya no estoy cómoda, algo me pica, algo me lastima… Y solo soy yo, yo y mis patrones, por no querer asfixiar,me desprendo demás, y  se van a vivir a otro estado, por ejemplo…
En fin,a eces por querer comerte el mundo terminas vomitando espuma querida, el viaje nos espera, esta aqui, y el aqui y hoy es el tiempo perfecto para ser quien siempre hemos querido, a ojos de nuestro mas importante espectador, nosotres mismxs.
C’est la vie, no cargues maletas ni te amarres a anclas ajenas y mas pesadas…
Se joven, se tu propia niña, se la mujer se tu propio reflejo, 
eres todo lo que has aprendido.

Melting my own freedom