bio exorcist

So I Bought "The Tim Burton Encyclopedia" by Samuel J. Umland and guess what

It contains the FULL synopsis of Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian!! But don’t get too excited. It’s both good and bad news. The good news? This movie had elements that would have made the cartoon make sense and bridge the gap between the first movie and the series… almost. That’s where the bad news comes in. The ending of the film would have not completed the bridge and would have taken things in a totally opposite and unexpected way.

I’ll give you guys the full summary:


“Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian”

Title of a 126-page screenplay written by Jonathan Gems, based on an idea by Tim Burton, as a proposed sequel to “Beetlejuice”. The year is uncertain, but likely either 1990 or 1991. The story features several of the major characters from the original film- Charles and Delia Deetz, daughter Lydia, Otho, and of course the bio-exorcist, Beetlejuice- but not Barbara and Adam Maitland. As in the original film, Charles and Delia Deetz are the antagonists.

Lydia is now in college and is paying her first visit to the Hawaiian tropical island Kanooka, where Charles Deetz, still a real estate speculator as in the first film, is in the final stages of the construction of a posh resort and casino. A group of environmentally conscious beatniks are protesting against the building of the hotel, claiming that human activity will lead to the destruction of much of the island’s rare wildlife. As the story begins, their protests have been repeatedly ignored. In addition, the hotel is being built on the burial ground of an ancient Hawaiian kahuna, whose spirit has been disturbed.

Lydia finds herself drawn to the beatniks and begins to fall in love with one of them, a surfer named Kimo. She meets an elderly island holy man, Mr. Maui, who instructs her on how to use her psychic ability to summon waves from the ocean, a talent she is able to exploit, making her popular with the surfers. The protestors kidnap Charles Deetz in an effort to persuade him to cancel the hotel’s opening, but rather quickly, Kimo and his friends are arrested and thrown in jail. With the help of Mr. Maui, Lydia uses a spell enabling her to journey to the Afterlife (Neitherworld), where she hopes to find Beetlejuice and convince him to frighten the hotel’s guests off the island, as well as help to free Kimo and his friends.

Lydia is able to track down Beetlejuice in the Afterlife, who agrees to frighten off the developers if Lydia is able to obtain for him a license to scare. She does, and they return together to the island. After Beetlejuice springs her beatnik friends from jail, Lydia agrees to allow him three days to play on the beach before fulfilling his promise to chase off the developers. During the three days, all sorts of wild things happen, including a surfing tournament that Beetlejuice, predictably, wins by using magic.

As in the first film, Beetlejuice is strongly attracted to Lydia, and once he learns that she is in love with Kimo, he seeks to create a rift between them. He transforms a Joshua tree into a seductive woman whom he names “Cactus”, introducing her to Kimo. Subsequently, Beetlejuice drugs Lydia with a love potion, and she becomes besotted with him. Posing as a wealthy oil tycoon named Monty Exxon, Beetlejuice persuades the Deetzes to allow him to marry Lydia, the day of the marriage set to coincide with the gala opening of the hotel and casino. Eventually, Kimo figured out what Beetlejuice is up to and when he tries, unsuccessfully, to stop the wedding, Beetlejuice’s benign mother, Gala, appears.

She has Lydia drink the nectar of a flower, which reverses the love spell, and Lydia is restored to normal- wary of Beetlejuice. Frustrated, Beetlejuice goes into his terrifying mode, becoming a creature named Juicifer and wreaking havoc on the island, transforming automobiles into metal wolves, animating demonic looking tiki statues, conjuring forth dinosaur skeletons from the ground, returning life to a Neanderthal man, and summoning the Easter Island heads, revealed to be buried giants.

The terrified mob seeks refuge on a nearby volcano. Lydia comes to the rescue by summoning an enormous tidal wave that wipes the creatures off the island, along with everything else, including the hotel and casino. Enraged, Beetlejuice intends to murder Lydia, but in the nick of time, Otho chants “Beetlejuice” three times and sends him back to the Afterlife. At the conclusion, Lydia and Kimo are happily reconciled, the island is to become a nature reserve, and Beetlejuice, after accidentally drinking his own love potion, falls for the girl with whom he lives in the afterlife.


According to Jonathan Gems, both Michael Keaton and Winona Ryder agreed to star in the film provided Burton directed. However, Warner Bros. offered Burton complete artistic control over “Batman Returns”, making him such an incredible offer, according to Gems, “that he couldn’t turn it down.” Hence, “Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian” was shelved, and in the years since, Burton has shown little interest in returning to it.


When I initially read this, I figured that up until the love potion bit, it fit PERFECTLY with the cartoon and I was sooo excited. Then came the love potion and I CRIED to think that it was possible that my OTP might not be “real”.


I also have the summary for “Beetlejuice in Love”, but you all do NOT want to hear that story. >_>

Exorcise The Living: A Beetlejuice Banishing Spell

“Having trouble with the living?
You tired of your homes being violated?
Wanna get rid of those pesky livin’ critters once and for all?”

Take a page from the afterlife’s leading Bio-Exorcist and banish an unwanted person from your life.

Supplies:

  • black candle
  • carving tool
  • black salt
  • pepper
  • chili powder
  • garlic
  • onion
  • vinegar
  • taglock/poppet
  • thorns/needles/something sharp
  • sand
  • jar
  • black paint or marker

I chose some potent, harsh-to-the-senses ingredients here because they remind me of BJ, who is shown to be rather pungent himself and prides himself on being repulsive. You want your target to be uncomfortable and eager to distance themselves from your and your home.

Procedure:

1 - Find yourself a ventilated area and a heat-safe surface.

2 - Get yourself a jar that you can seal and paint the inside of it black. I also like the option of adding white stripes to give it that iconic Beetlejuice look with the added bonus of resembling jail cell bars.

3 - Ground yourself if you feel it necessary.

4 - Take your taglock and/or poppet and direct your feelings for the target into them. Take your rage/disgust/repulsion etc. and stuff that mofo full of it. Let it really feel how badly you want this person out of your life.

5 - Place the taglock and/or poppet into the jar and then sprinkle your herbs, sharp objects, and vinegar over it. Go ahead and give it a shake. Cover that fucker in that pungent shit.

6 - Take your sand and bury it all. Imagine your target getting stuck in the yellow sands of Saturn with the Sandworms, light-years away from where you are.

7 - Seal the shit out of your container. Screw the lid on as tightly as you can without breaking the thing.

8 -Take your candle and carve it. Choose a ‘stay the fuck away from me’ phrase of your liking. Personally I like carving a Sandworm on one side to make sure the spell really sinks its teeth in and carries them away.

9 - As the candle burns let the wax drip over the jar’s lid. Feel free to add additional sigils to the cooling wax.

10 - As you seal the jar recite Lydia’s summoning incantation:

“Though I know I should be wary,

Still I venture someplace scary,

Ghostly haunting I turn loose,

Beeltejuice! Beetlejuice! Bettlejuice!”

11 - Store that shit someplace safe. Feel free to retrieve it and give it a good shake now and again. I like to recite the incantation or three B’s again when I do this.

Happy banishing, kids.

Beetlejuice

Hey Everyone!

Today we are going to review a film that was requested by areyou-stillawake! :)

‘Beetlejuice’

Currently on Flixster/Rotten Tomatoes it is rated fresh 81% (Critics) and 82% (Users).

Adam (Alec Baldwin) and Barbara (Geena Davis) are a young couple that sadly pass away from a freak accident. 

Adam and Barbara return to their home, unaware that they have passed away; until they realize there is a book on their end table that is not from their collection. 

Once they have came to terms with their demise they now await for the new homeowners. 

Which consist of the narcissistic dramatic artist Delia (Catherine O'Hara), and her pushover husband Charles (Jeffrey Jones) and gothic step-daughter Lydia (Winona Ryder). 

Delia and her designer friend Otho (Glenn Shadix) start to heavily remodel the once quaint home that Adam and Barbara shared. Upset with the changes that Delia was making to their home they attempt to scare them out of the house. 

Then an ad on TV starts to play that offers to provide any assistances in removing the living from your home. He is “The afterlife’s leading Bio-exorcist”. 

His name…

Originally posted by b-witched

Adam and Barbara go to their underworld caseworker to see if she could assist them with how they can scare away the occupants of their home. 

They try the old ghost/sheet move and Lydia thought it was her parents being “freaky” and took photos for evidences of possible future blackmail.
Lydia quickly realizes that there were no feet in the picture, and that she was in the presences of actual ghosts. 

Originally posted by e-e-r-i-n-e-s-s

Since Adam and Barbara failed to scare them out of the house, they decide to hire Beetlejuice (Michael Keaton) to assist, even though their caseworker warned them to stay away from him. 

Let’s just say… it gets quite interesting :) 

Originally posted by octopussoir-


What I struggled with on this film…

Didn’t have anything! 

Originally posted by the-loneliness-of-a-timelord

Well I guess there was one minor thing that kept me guessing…

How in the hell did Barbara get on top of the Sandworm?! 

Originally posted by creepshowsally


What I LOVED…

That dog had a serious case of ZFG. 


Beetlejuice was the ultimate pervert… but he makes you laugh. :) 

Originally posted by vintagegal

This scene always had me rolling :) and he was so cocky afterwards too. 

Originally posted by amorfuego

Hissing at people.. SAME

Originally posted by veronicas-sawyers

When I saw this scene..

I instantly thought of this photo that has been circulating thru Tumblr.


Overall Thoughts

I have always loved this film ever since I was a little girl, but it has been a very long time since I have seen it. 

For this review, we re-watched this film to get a refresh perspective and I can say that my younger self had missed a giant portion of the purpose of this film and I’ll sum it up with one word. 

FAMILY

Originally posted by gifs-andthings

I also love the artistic visions that Tim Burton has for all of his films. 

They are always so animated that he actually adds animation to set the reality in his films, and it makes total sense. 

Thank you for the film suggestion areyou-stillawake =)

Chris’s Rating : 8.50

Stina’s Rating : 8.75

Suitable for a Date: Yeah!  
Suitable for Children: Yes! This is perfect for kids!
Suitable for Girls Night Out: Sure! Why not! :)  

Share your thoughts…

What did you think of the movie?
What what your favorite scene?

Thanks for reading!

- Stina :)

anonymous asked:

hello yes I am a spirit and would like to ask how you can make the people who now live in your haunted house and just wont move out either move out or at least do the dishes because this is a mess and not one I like (I have tried everything from moving objects to "hallucinations" but they wont even dare to communicate with me out of fun or anything it is very frustrating)

Perhaps your intentions are not clear enough. Have you used the leftover spaghetti noodles to spell out “CLEAN UP” on the living room floor yet? Or, perhaps possessing the dirty laundry to howl in pain about how much it needs a bath? Clear communication is key in any roommate situation, regardless of corporeal or incorporeal state.

If that doesn’t work, we happen to know a very talented bio-exorcist you may want to look up.