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Billy’s whole “hope not” response and Tracy’s “what?! what’s wrong with Charlie?!” (starting at the 2:00 mark) KILLS ME.

My wife insists on these ground rules for any possible Twilight film series reboot:

  • It must be focused on the character Mustache Dad. He will be the main character and this whole story will be seen through his eyes.
  • Bella will be played by a 12-year-old, so it makes more sense how she’s so dim and immature.
  • Edward will be played by a 40-year-old, to make it extra clear to the audience how creepy this all is.

You don’t have the guts, Hollywood.