Can I please have ALL the Hugo headcanons?? PLEASE??? Because he is so painfully underappreciated!
LONG POST LONG POST
- when he sleeps he likes having something to hold on to. before he
met the Dad he used to wake up to himself spooning a pillow or his
bunched up blanket. now hugo wakes up to himself clinging onto the Dad, always the big spoon.
he drools a bit too, and sometimes he leaves some on the Dad’s shirt. hugo gets really embarassed about it, but
the Dad finds it really cute. sometimes when the Dad wakes up before hugo
he watches him sleep. it’s adorable, cause hugo sleeps with his mouth open a little bit and he kinda snores but its a really soft snore. on days that hugo has to wake
up early and go to work, he stares back. the Dad is awake and knows hugo’s looking at him, but he never mentions it because he thinks it’s cute that hugo thinks he’s cute and….. a h ! aha ahhhhh ! h! also it’s the biggest struggle for the Dad to not open his eyes or smile when hugo tries to untangle their limbs without ‘waking the Dad up’. it’s cute how clumsy he is cause he’s so tired in the mornings.
- he’s absolutely terrible at giving directions. he can’t figure out how
to read road maps because the font is So Damn Small, and whenever he
uses the GPS on his phone to help someone drive, he talks over it. “Take
a right turn in 0.4-” “OKAY I THINK IT’S ASKING YOU TO TURN RIGHT”.
the Dad is exasperated. hugo is embarrassed. this is why he likes to be the one that drives
- hugo likes romance novels. not even the good ones. you know when you walk into barnes and noble and they have that really cringey romance novel section? you know the ones, the books with like a generic white guy’s abs as the cover? yeah. those ones. he picked one up one day and… at first he made fun of the book, and he read it just to laugh at it, but before he knew it he was invested. he can’t stop reading them. he’s reading the entire Billionaire Bachelors series and no one can save him
- hugo likes the house cold. he has to be freezing 24/7 to feel comfortable. ernest likes it hot, but he doesn’t know how to use the thermostat. he has given up and wears hoodies around the house. tensions are high
- hugo was the wrestling team captain at his high school. he was a huge muscle boy and the entire team loved him. he was really really good at it, but then one match in his junior or senior year a guy from their rival school broke his arm and he never did get back into it. years and years later, he’s a bit nervous, but he uses some of the old moves he knew back in high school, the moves that made his team choose him as the team captain, when he wrestles you on the third date because…. he really wants to impress you. take a moment and imagine how happy he was when you kissed him (if you say ur bitch ass tapped out you’re lying). imagine how speechless he was. let this man be happy
- hugo is fluent in spanish and one day you’re like… “talk dirty to me in spanish, babe.” hugo gets really flustered cause it’s been a while since he’s done anything like that, but he starts talking to you in spanish cause he wants to make you happy. you’re getting really hot about it and he’s literally just… reciting nonfiction literature cause he has no fucken clue what to say
- u know how in damien’s third date hugo adopts duchess? well he’s really afraid of big dogs, but he wanted to make ernest happy. but duchess…… loves him. duchess jumps up on him whenever he comes home and gets really excited and licks his face. duchess tries to sleep in hugo’s bed, but hugo is still scared of this big woofer and wont let her anywhere near his bed. ernest thinks this is hilarious. one morning hugo wakes up and…….. he’s spooning duchess. in his bed. ernest is in the doorway taking pictures. it never ends