bilgesnipes

Surprise

Requested By Anon

Pairings: Loki x f!Reader

Y/B/F - Your best friend


Loki has created a chatroom.

Loki has invited Y/N.

Loki: Greetings, my love. I have a surprise for you. I’m sure you’ll love it! Please wait in your room.

Y/N: Really?! Thank you! You shouldn’t have. What is it? Tell me please!

Loki: A surprise, love.

Y/N: Can’t I have a hint? Please, please, please!

Loki: Tony is going to have a fit when he sees it, that’s for sure. Ehehehehe!

Loki: I’m going to try and sneak it in. Give me 10 minutes.

Y/N: … You didn’t get me a bilgesnipe, right?

Loki: I considered it but we already have Thor, one is enough. It’s a midgardian animal however.

Y/N: DOG? CAT? BUNNY? PARROT? A STRAY CLINT?

Loki: No, my love.

Loki: At times I really do question your friendship with Barton…

Y/N: Speaking of which, he’s trying to enter the chat. What did you put the password as?

Loki: Don’t worry, he’ll never guess it.

Clint has joined the chat.

Loki: What sorcery….

Clint: Y/N WHY ARE YOU IGNORING MY TEXTS

Clint: I SENT YOU MEMES THAT I NEED YOUR APPROVAL ON

Clint: I FARMED THESE MEMES MYSELF

Clint: Get it? Because I have a farm.

Clint: You… are dating Loki?

Y/N: No! Who said that?

Loki: Er, why would you think that Y/N and I are courting?

Clint:

Clint: “My love.” A private chat. Surprises! I’m deaf not blind!

Y/N: … We’re really close friends?

Clint: YOU ONLY TALK TO Y/B/F LIKE THAT!

Loki: I’m one of Y/N’s best friends?

Clint: YOU SHUT YOUR LYING MOUTH!

Clint: I’M ONE OF Y/N’S BEST FRIENDS, YOU ARE CERTAINLY NOT ONE OF THEM

Clint: Also what kind of stupid password is “LokiLaufeysonIsTheFutureAndRightfulKingOfAsgardWithHisQueenY/N”?

Y/N: Really babe, really?!

Clint: Seriously judging you, Loki.

Y/N: Of all the possible passwords!

Clint: At least add numbers to make it more challenging!

Loki: It’s a good password! Thor would never guess it!

Clint: Wait, wait, wait. We’re moving off topic. Y/N, how could you not tell me you’re dating this ice sculpture?

Y/N: I was going to! I was just waiting for the right time. Please don’t tell anyone yet! They’re not going to take it well.

Clint: You’re dating a psychopath, of course they won’t!

Loki: I’m not a psychopath, I’m a highly functioning sociopath.

Clint: Don’t taint Sherlock!

Clint: So, I’m the only one who knows about this?

Loki: Yes, thank Odin.

Clint: It would be a shame

Clint: If the others found out

Y/N: DON’T YOU DARE!

Clint: If only there were donuts to keep my mouth shut

Clint: But there aren’t any…

Clint: Maybe I’ll add the team and ask them if they have any.

Y/N: How many do you want?

Clint: A DOZEN EVERY WEEK FOR THE NEXT 3 MONTHS!

Y/N: Deal.

Y/N: Loki, love. Get Clint some donuts, please?

Loki: … Fine.

Clint: And I want to go to Asgard.

Loki: I’ll see what I can do.

Clint: I want the fancy armor too!

Loki: Of course.

Clint: And your helmet.

Loki: Absolutely not!

Clint: Let’s ask the team how they’re doing, shall we?

Y/N: I hate you.

Clint: Love you too, Y/N.

Loki: The helmet is yours but nothing else! Do we have a deal?

Clint: Deal. Remember, hurt my lovely Y/N and you will regret it!

Thor has joined the chat.

Loki: NO!

Clint: I didn’t tell him.

Thor: Brother! You are courting Lady Y/N?!

Y/N: It’s a good password, you said. Thor would never guess it, you said.

Thor: How could you keep this from me! We are family!

Thor: Did you think I would not be happy for you?

Loki: Do you approve?!

Thor: Of course I do! Lady Y/N is a wonderful person, I could think of no one else better than her for you. Hearty congratulations brother!

Loki: I am surprised… Thank you… Brother.

Thor: But Lady Y/N, I must offer my most sincere and heartfelt apologies to you as my brother is far from wonderful.

Loki: Outrageous!

Y/N: Don’t worry, Thoreo! Loki has been a marvelous boyfriend.

Clint: So far… And when he messes up, I will be there to fight him.

Loki: Why do you have a cute nickname for Thor…?

Loki: And dammit, Barton! I love Y/N. I would NEVER hurt her.

Thor: We must celebrate! I shall ask Stark to take us to one of the finest dining places on Midgard.

Y/N: THOREO NO

Loki: YOU OAF, DON’T LET ANYONE ELSE KNOW!

Thor has added Tony.

Thor:

Thor: Better now than never!

Thor has left the chat.

Loki: FOOL!

Clint: I’m still getting my donuts despite Tony knowing, right?

Tony: what

Tony: is

Tony: THIS

Loki: … A chat?

Y/N: …. Surprise!

Tony: Did you cast a spell on Y/N? Is it blackmail? Y/N you can tell me!

Y/N: Tony. I know this must be hard to accept but… Loki and I are in love.

Tony: MY ARC REACTOR HURTS! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS

Y/N: He’s no longer the man who tried to take over New York and who threw you off a building. Give him a chance, please!

Loki: My love, I know that you are trying to resolve the situation, but perhaps try not to mention my past misdeeds?

Clint: Are we at the part where Tony shoots him with his little blasty things?

Tony has added Natasha, Steve, Bruce.

Clint: We’re all going to kick his ass? I’ll get my bow.

Loki: I thought you were on our side, Barton!

Clint: I still didn’t get my donuts.

Tony: Steve, do something!!

Natasha: I can’t believe I’m saying this but, I think their relationship is good.

Y/N: But Nat, you just found out?

Natasha: I’m a spy, remember?

Tony: Don’t… encourage them!

Natasha: Ever since they started dating, Loki has been nicer, more kind. Less creepy and evil. Which is really good for us.

Steve: Natasha has a point. I don’t think Loki would jeopardize his relationship with Y/N by trying to take over the world and he seems to love her a lot, I don’t think he’d do anything to hurt or upset her.

Tony: HAVE YOU PEOPLE GONE MAD?!

Clint: … Tony. I think we’ve entered an alternate dimension.

Y/N: Stevie, you’re taking this really well…

Loki: Stevie…?

Steve: Natasha told me about you and Loki as soon as you two started dating.

Clint: BUT NOT ME??????????

Y/N: Awwww you guys, you knew this whole time and didn’t make a big deal about it unlike a certain bird and billionaire here. Thank you Nat and Stevie <3

Steve: Oh I’m trying my best not to punch Loki.

Nat: Not a day goes by when I don’t want to shoot him.

Loki: I can’t blame them.

Steve: But he makes you happy.

Nat: And you make him a better person, so we grudgingly approve.

Loki: Banner, you’re more quiet than usual…

Bruce: I’m just thinking.

Loki: About?

Tony: He’s trying to think of ALL THE WAYS TO HURT YOU IF YOU HURT Y/N!

Bruce: Tony is right.

Loki: I will gladly accept becoming one with the floor if I dare hurt Y/N, which I would never.

Bruce: Excellent.

Y/N: Soooooooo, now that everyone knows, can you all leave?

Clint: NEVER!

Tony: WE WILL NEVER GIVE YOU TWO PRIVACY AFTER THIS!

Y/N: …

Y/N: Love, did you uh, manage to bring in my surprise?

Loki: Oh yes, ehehehehehehehehe.

Steve: When he laughs/types like that, it means he’s up to something bad.

Loki: I’m feeding it first and then I’ll bring it up to your room.

Tony: What surprise?

Tony: Feeding it?!

Tony: Look, we have enough strays. We took in Loki and Bucky, we can’t take in more.

Nat: What is it?

Bruce: I’m kinda curious too. Spill.

Scott has joined the chat.

Scott: WHY DOES LOKI HAVE A LEMUR

Scott: A LEMUR

Scott: LEMUR

Scott: WHY

Scott: Also, gross. Y/N, why him?

Y/N: OMG

Y/N: DARLING, YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE!

Y/N: NO SERIOUSLY, I’M QUITE CONFLICTED ABOUT THIS

Loki: I remembered how after watching that movie… Madagascar? You said you thought the lemur was cute. Do you not like it?

Clint: Can I pet it?!

Tony: NO WILD ANIMALS IN ME BASE

Tony: My*

Scott: THIS LEMUR DOES NOT LIKE ME

Scott: I swear it wants to start a fight

Scott:

Scott: DO YOU THINK I’M LYING

Scott: AIFPHWEH G GNLKREG

Scott has been disconnected.

Y/N: Is he okay?!

Loki: It attacked him.

Natasha: … I’m not breaking that fight up.

Clint: Who shall come out as the victor? Scott or King Julien II?

Bruce: Probably the lemur.

Tony: I guess we can keep the lemur? Just make sure to keep it out of the lab and my room.

Tony has left the chat.

Steve: I should help Scott…

Steve has left the chat.

Loki: What shall we name him, love?

Clint: I’VE ALREADY NAMED HIM

Y/N: Clint’s name is good.

Loki: Alright, we shall name him Clint.

Y/N: No, I meant King Julien II

Loki: Ehehehe Clint it is!

Clint: .. I’m kinda touched, not gonna lie. Clint Jr. So cute.

Loki: Oh.

Bruce: So now we have a lemur, a raccoon, a hawk, an ant, two spiders, a panther and a falcon.

Bruce: … Can we get a penguin next? 

Natasha: No.

Bruce: Please?

Natasha has left the chat.

Bruce has left the chat.

Clint: What a great day.

Clint has left the chat. 

Loki: Finally! I thought they’d never leave.

Y/N: If you’re done settling in Clint Jr. can you come to my room where I’ve been waiting for the past 20 minutes for you?

Loki: To thank me, I presume? ;)

Sam has joined the chat.

Sam: ewwwww.

Sam has added Bucky.

Bucky: ewwwwwww.

Loki: STOP IT, YOU IMBECILES!

Sam: OF ALL THE HUNKS ON THIS TEAM,

Bucky: YOU CHOOSE HIM?

Sam: I’m insulted, Y/N.

Bucky: If you ever break up with him Y/N, you know where to find me.

Sam: And me.

Sam has left the chat.

Bucky has left the chat.

Loki: Would you be upset if I set Clint Jr. upon them?

Y/N: Yes.

Loki: Consider it, please.

Loki: Clint Jr. has stopped his attack on the bug man. See you soon, love.

Y/N has left the chat.

Loki has left the chat.

Vision has joined the chat.

Vision:

Vision has left the chat.
Deleted lines from the Thor: The Dark World script #97
  • Loki: Brother, whatever you're doing, I suggest you do it faster.
  • Thor: *(studies the pattern)*
  • Thor: *(smashes down Mjolnir)*
  • Thor: I think I got it!
  • *(plushie bilgesnipe jumps back into hole; game resets)*
  • Loki: You really are the shittiest player at Whac-a-Bilgesnipe.
  • Thor: *(overturns arcade table)*
  • Thor: *(huffs)* I want to go home. Where is everybody else?
  • Loki: *(gestures)*
  • Tony: *(fills up the leader board on Galaga)*
  • Bruce: *(pets his Nintendog)*
  • Natasha: *(KOing in Mortal Kombat)* This is just like Street Fighter all over again.
  • Clint: You and I remember Street Fighter very differently.
  • Steve: This chess board is missing a piece.
  • Thor: *(smiles)*
  • Loki: You know, they're not even supposed to be here.
  • Thor: Shut up, Loki.
Chapter 6 (Part 2): The Ice Queen {Avengers x Fem!Reader}

~Part 1~ The Life of an Avenger

Prompt: During Hawkeye’s attack on the Helicarrier, (Y/N) and Thor are met head-to-head against the Hulk.

Warnings: cursing


  “Did you hear that?” (Y/N) asked, as she slightly flicked her wrist, and one of the attackers was shroud in ice, completely frozen solid. She almost yawned, the “battle” was boring. But then, she heard a roar. For a second, (Y/N) thought Jurassic Park had become an imminent reality. That wasn’t the case, but she still wasn’t disappointed when she found the culprit.

  “Yes, it sounds like a Bilgesnipe. But those do not exist here.” Thor answered, slightly puzzled. He cocked his head as he knocked another gunman out with a half-assed punch. 

  The roaring continued, along with the increasingly deafening tearing of metal and electrical wires. Curiosity peaked, heart rate rising, (Y/N) and Thor turned simultaneously to find tiny, little Natasha hauling ass down a long metallic hallway, as The Hulk literally tore the house down just feet behind her. The veins throughout his deep, green body at bursting point as his muscles contracted at each step, each pull, each tear, he enacted. (Y/N) acted quickly.

  “Duck!” (Y/N) called to Natasha, as the assassin rolled herself into a side-corner of the hallway. (Y/N)’s eyes glowed a bright, almost blinding, silver, like the moon at its fullest on a January night, as she raised her arms gracefully. A split second later, a beam of silvery-blue raced from her fingertips in an atomic bomb, and halted The Hulk in mid-step. Thor grabbed Natasha, and pulled her to her feet as the three ran for cover. Natasha and Thor couldn’t keep their eyes off of (Y/N), who’s eyes had retained their normalcy again, still beautiful, but completely normal, until The Hulk broke from his icy shackles. A hailstorm of ice shattered all around him as he spear-headed for his opponents once more. Natasha moved to a corner where The Hulk couldn’t see her to catch her breath, but (Y/N) and Thor were targeted, and ready for a full-scale battle.

  Tearing their way back towards the hangar, Thor threw his hand out, calling forth Mjölnir with his mind. (Y/N) on his left, the hammer flew straight from the right, into his large hand and, within the same movement, he turned and struck The Hulk in the jaw, sending the Jolly Green Giant soaring into a SHIELD jet, significantly denting the metal, rendering it useless. Not even a heartbeat had passed, The Hulk was back up, charging (Y/N) like a Spanish bull. (‘I’m wearing a red t-shirt. How goddamn ironic.’) Gathering her strength, (Y/N) dipped her whole body towards the ground, then raised her arms in a swooping motion to raise a wall of ice four feet thick.

  Nope. Wrong move. Game over.

  The Hulk tore through the wall like it was made of cotton, and grasped (Y/N)’s small body, then threw her like a child throwing a rag doll during a tantrum, across the room. ‘Okay, I was not ready for this.’ Was all (Y/N) thought as her body’s momentum was thrust towards the metallic wall. She braced for impact, but, instead felt muscular arms catch her swiftly, and comfortably.

  “Whoa. Head rush,“ (Y/N) laughed, “thanks man.”

  “Always a pleasure Lady (Y/L/N).” Unfortunately, the bonding moment didn’t last longer than eight seconds, when they snapped their heads to the right to find Donkey Kong barreling his way towards them once again.

  “After you, Ice Queen.” (Y/N) was released from his arms to stand firm on her feet. She moved her hands in a circle to create a power sphere of crystallized ice in her hands.

  40 feet…30 feet…20 feet…10 feet..release! The orb crashed into The Hulk with such force, he fell back an extra 60 feet into the back corner Natasha had previously been sitting only a few minutes earlier, but now was off kicking someone else’s ass. Not giving in, The Hulk catapulted himself from the destruction straight at (Y/N), but in that moment (Y/N) got an extra special call from Tony. 

  “(Y/N), I need you. The turbines are down, and I could use your-” “Little busy now, please leave a message after the beep.“ (Y/N) responded rapidly, as she sent another orb at The Hulk, coordinating with Thor’s major football tackle (‘yeah, take that bitch down!’).

  “Beep,” Tony responded, “I need you.”

  “Beep, figure it out without me.” (Y/N) retorted, freezing The Hulk in place to give Thor an extra second to retrieve his hammer.

  “I can’t. No levers. No buttons. This thing needs to be stopped for a second in order for me to be able to get out alive, and guess what? I take pleasure in being alive. So help, please?“ (‘Great.’)

  “Thor, you got it handled here? Tony’s lame ass can’t figure out his own damn problems. Can you hold him?”

  “I am a mighty god, of course I may hold Banner off. Go help Stark, I-” The Hulk cut him off, mid-statement with another massive football tackle. (Y/N) stood staring for a second.

  “……Great, thanks!” (Y/N) responded as she took Tony’s directions to the downed turbine. She sprinted the entirety of the trip, freezing Loki’s men every once in while, until she reached the wide open-gap where the Helicarrier used to be whole. The scar revealed the bright blue sky, surprisingly serene despite the chaotic disaster it’s sunlight revealed.

  ‘Ah, the convenience of daytime.’ (Y/N) thought.

  When (Y/N) arrived, Steve was standing on the edge of the ship, surveying the calamitous scene in front of him, as Tony jutted out from behind the wreckage. 

   "Tony! I’m here! What exactly did you want me to do again?“ (Y/N) called into her earpiece. 

  “Just, don’t freak out.”

  “What are you-ah!” A flash of red and gold, then the feeling of metal beneath her body revealed Iron Man carrying (Y/N) closer to the charred remnants of the turbines. Tony set her down on a sturdy piece, while still hovering in place next to her.

  “Son of a bitch! Warn me next time would'ya!” She yelled in surprise.

  “I told you to not freak out! Heed my warning next time would'ya!” He mocked. 

  “Okay,” (Y/N) took a breath, clearing her mind, “so what do you need?”

  “Freeze the joints here, here, and here.” He said pointing out the places he needed secured.

  “I don’t take orders.” (Y/N) joked as she did as instructed (now, here’s the thing, (Y/N) wasn’t crazy. She followed orders if she agreed with them or trusted the person giving the. However, if she did not agree…)

  “Please, (Y/N).”

  “That’s all I needed to hear, Tin Man. Just make sure you don’t drop me, please”

  “I wouldn’t drop you (Y/N), you’re too much damn fun for that.”

  “Glad you think so.“ (Y/N) responded, smiling, as she completed her work.

  “Okay, so I’m warning you now,” Tony mocked, “I’m taking you bridal-style back to the Helicarrier.”

  “Take me away, Tin Man!” Tony made good on his promise, and took her back to the ship where Steve was waiting, a slight smile dawning on his face as they approached. “Glad to have you back in one piece (Y/N).” Steve said to her as Tony put her down, giving Tony a slight glare that (Y/N) didn’t really understand at the time.

  “Yeah, you and me both,” Y/N) laughed, “so, there was something else, right?”

  “Yes, (Y/N), when I say ‘now!’ you have to stop the turbine long enough time for me to be able to get out, but not too much to where it stops entirely. Can you do that?”

  “Bitch, please,” (Y/N) said, waving her hand, creating a small blizzard in the palm of her hand, “That, and so much more.”

  “I’ll take that as a yes.” Tony responded cheekily as he headed into the turbine and began to turn them through hyper speed, obviously struggling as he sustained a few grunts along the way.

  All was well until the Loki’s brainwashed men bum rushed Steve and (Y/N) with bullets. Steve dove into (Y/N), blocking her from the raining bullets, getting nicked twice in the leg. 

  Then…the cliché thing happened.

  Ah, fuck. It really happened. Him on top of her. His hair blowing slightly in the wind. His face drenched in filthy ash, yet it only enhanced the blue in his eyes. And (Y/N). Her soft hair just as wild as his, giving Steve the impression of a bird in flight. Her wide, curious eyes, staring back into his. It was wonderful, until (Y/N) realized the situation, and almost gagged, bringing her back into the bullet infested reality of life.

  “Thanks, but I got this, mate.” (Y/N) broke the soul-searching, and got out from beneath him elegantly, then stood over him, protectively. She created a wall that only The Hulk himself seemed to be able to penetrate (which to her, was high-quality status, but still needed practice regardless). 

  (Y/N) turned and helped Steve to his feet, then focused back on the attackers. Individually, (Y/N) froze them, until all four had ceased fire (forcibly). Steve just stared at her, concealing his awe, but ‘wow,’ was all that passed through his mind. (Y/N) could feel his eyes on her, though. 

  “Power of the vagina, my friend,” was all (Y/N) said. She spun on her heel when she heard Tony call out that the turbines were almost up to speed, which she could clearly see. (Y/N) quickly walked back to her position, completely in control. Completely ready. 

  “Now!” Tony shouted. (Y/N) cast her spell on the turbine, giving Tony a chance to escape. She heard gunshots behind her, but remained focused on the task before her. Tony wriggled his way out of the turbine, then straight over (Y/N)’s head, and into the gunman behind her. She turned to find Steve with one of the men (Y/N) had frozen, then at the two gunmen groping wounded calves.

  “My hero.” (Y/N) said sarcastically (although she really meant it endearingly), sending Steve a smile that almost knocked him dead. He hadn’t seen a smile that made him feel that way since before his time in the ice. Although she was slightly rude and outspoken, the fire in her was something not to be ignored. Steve wanted to protect it. He started to feel something for her.

  The only question is: what is he going to do about it?

chapter 1  |  chapter 1 ((Y/N)’s POV  |  chapter 2  |  chapter 3  | chapter 4  |  chapter 5  |  chapter 6 (part 1)

*please like and follow for more*

With All Due Respect

They both want the last copy of a book at the library. For bookishbeauty13

(aka teenaged Darcy and Loki in the palace library AU)

No children are allowed in the east wing. Not since the incident involving the baby bilgesnipe in Odin’s study.

Loki and Thor are widely believed responsible, but the young princes fervently deny having anything to do with it, resulting in the Allfather’s declaration that the entire area is off-limits.

This would be a great punishment, indeed, if anything of consequence to a young boy stood in that part of the palace. But Thor holds little interest in the elegant drawing rooms and curved balconies, and Loki has already found a way to sneak into the great library that lies just beyond the Allfather’s refurbished study.

After all, an edict can hardly come between the younger prince and a room full of books: books on runes, books on spells, books with stains on their spines and yellowing pages, books from other realms, books from Vanaheim, from Midgard… If Odin or Frigga notice that their books have developed the habit of disappearing for weeks on end, neither one comments on it.

Someone else is in the library. A girl.

She’s pretty, Loki supposes, in a common sort of way. (His mind wants to point out that the curves hidden under that blue dress are very much not common, but she’s trespassing on his library and so he has no patience for her or her curves.)

The boy is careful to take quiet steps, only alerting her to his presence when he’s directly behind her.

“You aren’t allowed in here,” he announces firmly.

The girl whirls around with a squeak, almost dropping the book in her hands.

“N-neither are you,” she says shakily. Not in Allspeak. But she’s too short to be an elf… a Midgardian, then. Loki wonders if he’s seen this girl before. Accompanying Lady Frigga, perhaps?

“But why would one of my mother’s handmaidens be here?” he muses aloud.

“Wh-” The girl stares at him in shock, and Loki takes a perverse kind of glee in her dawning realization that she is speaking to a prince. “Oh f- Prince Loki,” she whispers, mortified. She quickly stumbles into a curtsy, and Loki inclines his head coldly.

“I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure of your acquaintance, Lady…?”

He pauses, waiting for the girl to supply her name.

“Darcy.”

Loki wonders idly how she would react if he turned her book into a snake, but she’s looking up at him through her eyelashes, cheeks pink, and he find that he likes this better.

“That’s my book,” Loki says abruptly, and he tells himself that he isn’t just making conversation for the sake of talking to a (pretty) girl.

“No, it isn’t,” she answers before immediately clapping her mouth shut.

“Isn’t it? I’m a prince,” he reminds her.

Loki has never had to remind anyone of that fact. His reputation so precedes him that he is unaccustomed to being treated with anything less than apprehensive deference. It might have something to do with that rumor about him turning people into mice. (He started that one himself.)

“So?”

Loki has to seriously question whoever’s decision it was to name her a handmaiden; this Lady Darcy doesn’t seem the least bit cut out for serving anyone.

“I wish to read it.”

“With all due respect, Your Highness, I found it first.”

She’s either brave, stupid, or woefully misinformed about Asgard’s prince, to be so blunt.

“You aren’t very obedient,” Loki remarks.

“You haven’t asked anything of me.”

“Very well. Give me the book.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I- Hey! Give it back!”

Loki almost sticks his tongue out at her, raising the book high above his head.

“Shan’t.”

He’s being childish, he knows, but it’s so much fun.

“Please?”

“Oh, that’s very nice, but you can do better,” Loki mocks. “What if I said you could have the book… for a price?”

“What price?” Darcy asks, and Loki doesn’t miss the way her eyes dart to the door. She’s off-guard, now.

“A kiss.”

The girl blinks at him, like she isn’t sure if this is one of his infamous tricks or not. Loki isn’t sure either.

“Fine.”

He smirks, lowering his arms to place a hand at her waist, and she lets out a fluttery little breath. Darcy closes her eyes, leaning closer, her lips only a fraction away from his, and…

Loki hears a laugh, and realizes that the book is no longer in his grasp, and is instead in the triumphant hold of a certain Lady Darcy.

“You cheated!”

“I tricked you,” Darcy corrects him. Then she takes a small step forward, tucking the book behind her back, and presses her mouth against his. “That was for the book,” she explains, pulling back and staring up into Loki’s green eyes.

They both stay perfectly still for a moment, and Darcy lifts her chin hesitantly before kissing Loki again. This time, his lips move with hers; she sighs as he lifts a hand up to cup her cheek, his tongue darting out to part those red lips…

When Darcy steps away, her cheeks are flushed, her hair mussed on one side.

Loki opens his mouth to speak, but Darcy offers only a small curtsy and hurries toward the door.

“What was that for?” he calls out.

She pauses, considering the question.

“Because I wanted to.”

A crooked grin spreads across Loki’s face, and as the door clicks behind her, the prince lazily trails his fingers over the clothbound spines of Dickens novels.

Yes, he’ll certainly be paying his mother more frequent visits, he decides, pulling a book off the shelf and beginning to read…

So not fair, Loki

You were so cute and innocent-looking before you fell into the wormhole. You looked like a lost little boy, and dear God, you broke my feels.

Originally posted by sherlockhoulmes

But then you gave up. Look, I don’t blame you, but WHYY. You were still pretty, of course, but you weren’t the struggling, emotionally unstable, mistaken little boy anymore. You were still attractive, but then you came back looking like a hobo who hadn’t eaten or showered in three weeks and was on the verge of passing out.

Originally posted by iliveinapineapple

And then the next time we got to see your amazing mug again, you….got rebellious. You stopped caring, you teased your brother, you mourned your mother, you pretended to die, and you stole the throne…but most importantly, and most rebelliously, you decided to do what all teenagers who want to show up their parents do: You grew out your hair. And you didn’t give a bilgesnipe’s bum.

Originally posted by moriarty-dancing-in-the-tardis

Now, granted, your hippie look is very pretty. You still have a lovely face. You’re hilariously snarky.  You’re interesting. Thousands of fangirls were shocked and teary at your pretend death (though not me, although that’s only because I never cry while watching stuff). You glimmered with a hint of redemption when you helped your brother. And now that you’re on the throne, well, who knows what’s in your future?

I still love you, Loki. I still call you silly pet names in my head, I think about you in creepy but affectionate ways, I write about you, and I painted my toenails green and painted your helmet in orange on my nails because I love you that much.

But….there’s something missing. I blame Joss Whedon for messing you up in Avengers, but you’re so very, very different from the boy you were in Thor. You’re more malicious. You’re coming into your own as a trickster. You’re plotting and planning and getting somewhere in the world. You’re crazier. And we know for sure we can’t trust you, no matter what’s coming next.

But still…what happened to the boy who broke our hearts? Is he still somewhere inside you, begging to get out? Or are you someone else entirely?

I guess we’ll never know. At least until Ragnarok, that is.

Imagine the ‘true’ origins of Loki’s flyting in the old Norse sagas: Odin doesn’t understand Midgardian hip-hop or misheard the name and thinks the Wu-Tang Clan is a tribute to him as the variant spelling of his name, Wotan. Because of this, every year for Halloween he makes Frigga, Thor, and Loki dress up as the Wu-Tang Clan with him and rap battle Asgard’s finest minstrels. Thor and Odin are useless, but Loki and Frigga represent and Loki develops a new talent.

Imagine being best friends with Loki and always hanging out together. One day Loki invites you to one of Asgard’s many parties which you accept. After the party is over Loki is looking all over the palace for you. He finally  finds you in his room passed out on his bed, tired from all of the dancing and singing from the party. Loki looks at you fondly and properly tucks you into his bed. It isnt until after you begin to snore like a bilgesnipe does he realize hes in love with you.

change.org
Marvel Cinematic Universe: Bring Pietro Maximoff back to life!

MCU thought they could kill off Pietro Maximoff without consequences.

Murder him before our eyes. 

Like Coulson before him, we shall bring life back to Quicksilver and reunite him with his sister!!!! 

None of the mcu fandom favorites have stayed dead as of yet.

 IT WILL NOT HAPPEN TODAY AS LONG AS THIS PETITION IS SIGNED BY HEAPS OF PEOPLE AND WE MANAGE TO MAKE SOME HIGH-UP MARVEL PERSONS LISTEN TO US!!!!!
WE CANNOT ALLOW PIETRO`S DEATH ACTUALLY BE HIS DEATH!!!!

Not Pietro with his adorable cutesy little accent and pretty hair and pretty muscles and a pretty face and his supersonic mutant powers and his tragic backstory and the future tony-pietro angst and the shipping potential and his accent did I mention his accent his accent 

FOR ALL THE BILGESNIPES OF ASGARD SIGN THE PETITION!!!!!!    

Need a Little Help from My Friend || QualityControlProblems

It was a nice day, the feeling of spring in the air and all of that. Picturesque, with birds singing and everything nice. It was about to be interrupted. A light suddenly extended from the sky above, birds scattered and the light grew as it reached the Earth right in front of Justin Hammer’s front door area. The light briefly expanded and then dissipated leaving a familiar figure holding a square box with two large objects on the ground next to her (Bilgesnipe horns) and a worried look across her face. Hopefully Justin was home, she hadn’t meant to drop in unannounced, but things were a bit dire and she needed his help. Well anyways she hoped he could help her. Without wasting another second she rang his doorbell and waited, fingers figuratively crossed.

[ qualitycontrolproblems ]