my not-at-all-universal hot tips for living a crazy joyful gay life
grow up as an over-achiever people-pleaser this is going to lead to some heartache. this is going to keep you in the closet far longer than you’d like. you’re going to do everything you can to mitigate the fact that you’re gay. you’re going to get degrees from great institutions, get accepted to prestigious programs, + generally be a good kid. and yet, it won’t be enough. you’ll still be gay. you will still disappoint people.
but listen. everyone has to work through something(s). this is your lifelong battle. disappointing people will always be difficult, but you’ll get thicker skin. and in the meantime, your achievements will have opened a lot of doors that lead to financial + professional + personal freedom. so march on.
snag yourself a dope woman to make your wife look out for a smart, charming, driven, gorgeous woman in your post-graduate program full of 20-somethings who are both ambitious + politically liberal. if she challenges you, get to know her better. if she makes you laugh everyday, buy her a drink. if she seamlessly transitions from philosophical conversations to taking shots, move in with her, follow her across the country, + marry her.
this is who you want to travel life’s path beside. it’ll be tough (often). but she is who tethers you to this world. she makes you the best you, and you her. there’s no one better to laugh with, fight with, discuss life’s big questions with.
adopt a rescue dog trust me on this. this dog will cause you more headaches in a single week than your entire two years of business school. but 4 years after you adopt her, you will have a son who looks at her like she hung the moon, + every frustration will be worth it. she’s family.
get a job that gives you financial security without eating your soul this is harder than it sounds. it’s going to be a balancing act, + the discussion on “what if?” will linger. financial security provides tremendous relief, but stay focused; there are jobs + people + corporations that will gladly take your entire livelihood in exchange for a check. and your life is too glorious to trade in.
make a family have a baby. decide how + who + when, but go all in. this kid is going to rock your world. he’s going to come out of your wife + you’re going to fall in love with the curves of his ears. you’re not going to sleep a full night in 10 months (and counting), but he’s going to smile his gummy smile + your heart will melt.
it’ll test you, your sanity, + your marriage. everyone will be tired. doors will close. life will fundamentally change. but that dope wife you snagged? you two were meant to bring up a child in this world.
figure out who to give a shit about (+ who not to) this is critical. at your core, you’re still that over-achiever people pleaser. you want approval, + this gives people power over you. be precise about who matters. (spoiler alert: it’s very few people: yourself, your wife, son, a handful of family + friends.) pay attention to them, foster those relationships, show up.
and do not give a shit about anyone else. now, this is an over-generalization, but hone the skill of brushing it off. do not internalize the input or feedback or criticism of people who do not wish you well. of people who are not invested in you. of people who want to invalidate your identity. from colleagues to family members, take back your power.
most importantly, get outside this big world is so beautiful. go make some memories. build community. drink happy hour beers on patios with your wife + kid. go on lots + lots of neighborhood walks with your pup. ride your bike. take road trips. live + love in a big, bold, visible way.
- Hercules is a biker that shows up a lot and flirts with Laf
- Washington owns the place
- The Schuyler’s are badass and lead their own all girl gang
- Maria is there to she sings at the club most nights
- Now John. John hot wired a bike and is road tripping across America
- He acts tough but is really big sweetheart that likes to draw
- So John shows up one night and Alex just dies
- Everyone one makes fun of Alex and tries to get them to talk
- He takes Johns order
- John just straight up hits of him so much
- He calls Alex Sugar
- Everyone’s killing themselves laughing
- So eventually John leaves saying he’ll be back tomorrow
- Cue Alex fretting over everything
- I feel like I should mention Homosexuality was illegal in the 1950s
because it was
- Okay so after like a week of John coming in everyday Alex says screw it and kisses him
- They go on like ‘dates’ but mostly stay at Hamilton’s place
- John some how convinces Alex to let him buy him things
- Then A N G S T
- aka Senator Henry Laurens
- Why. Because I can. That’s why
- So pain happens
- Happy ending?