biggest idiot ever oh my god

Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural   {Sentence Starters}

  • “Spooky, huh?”
  • “Its not a ghost.”
  • “Are ghosts real?”
  • “You look like an idiot!”
  • “I wasn’t fat-shaming Bigfoot!”
  • “Knock me down with a feather!”
  • “I just got startled by a disco ball…”
  • “How.. how do you go that wrong?”
  • “You wanna lie on the pentagram?”
  • “Oh my god, you have a death wish!”
  • “Hey there, demons, its me… ya boy.”
  • “That’s the biggest lie I’ve ever heard.”
  • “I think I’m gonna buy you a punch in the face.”
  • “She doesn’t seem like a very intelligent ghost.”
  • “Yeah, I got the chills even just thinking about it.”
  • “How about I open the door and you walk in first?”
  • “Well, if its any consolation, you look like an idiot.”
  • “Like pretty much everywhere we go, its old and gross.”
  • “And the worst part is, I don’t even have my holy water!”
  • “Can I use the jacuzzi hot tub we’ve been blessed with?”
  • “I’m gonna serve you up a fresh truth pancake right now.”
  • “That’s concerning… that there’s that tiny margin of error.”
  • “If I see people taller than me, I get concerned about them.”
  • “I’m saying just ‘cause something’s old, doesn’t mean its bad.”
  • “Do you always have to insult the ghost of the place we’re at?”
  • “You’re not gonna believe me if I tell you, so why even tell you?”
  • “And, as you can see, this is the place where nightmares are made.”
  • “I ask myself that a lot, too. I don’t understand why I do these things.”
  • “Oh, he’ll pick you up, alright. He’ll pick you up and crack you in two.”
  • “I never said I wanted to murder you! This is a hypothetical situation!” 
  • “He said that, but I agree with it. He meant it more, though, so hit him!”
  • “If you slit my throat tonight, I’m gonna have a hard time forgiving you for that.”
  • “No, I can’t imagine that. I’d never want to imagine that. Are YOU imagining that?”
  • “Why don’t you punch me in the face, maybe smack me around a little? What are you, a wussy?”
Look who it is

Anon request-hey hey can i request for a jungkook fluff with this prompt –> “yes she may be a bitch but she’s /my/ bitch” heheheh



“Look who it is. Miss I think I’m great and prettier than everyone else!” You rolled your eyes. He always says that every time you walk in through the gates. The sad part was the fact that he would wait for you to arrive just to say that. The only reason you knew this was that one time when your were running late and the bell had already gone he was still there waiting. “Why are you not in class?”

“Because, look who it is. Miss I think I’m great and prettier than everyone else!”

“Jackass. By the way no ones here you weirdo and besides someone told me there’s always a bit of truth in everything we say.”

“Well…ermmm, that’s stupid.” Anyway, he was a jackass and you had now grown accustomed to his jackassery. “Good one jackass!” You put your thumbs up at him and then when you walked passed him you put your middle finger up towards him while he wasn’t looking. The worst part of your hatred towards each other was that everyone started to hate you because you were always rude to the popular boy. Yep you guessed it. Jeon Jungkook. Every girl wanted him every boy wanted to be him. The usual. Just like any popular boy and of course he has to pick on someone, unfortunately that someone had to be you. It only happened because he banged into you and he had the audacity to ask for an apology. Of course you didn’t give him what he wanted, and you never will.

Nobody spoke to you apart from one person that was Jungkook. Other than that everyone stayed far away from you because they knew if they spoke to you or even stood next you, Jungkook would never speak to them or even look at them ever again, well that’s what they thought. You didn’t mind though, the whole lot of them were idiots. No where near enough as intelligent as you to even speak to you and that was a fact. Although everyone hated you, they never said anything hurtful to you or did anything to you, they knew that was Jungkook’s job and Jungkook’s job only. “Hey y/n! Why are you walking so fast? You’re not trying to run away from me are you? Y/n!!!!”

“Oh my god! What! What do you want?”

“I just wanted to talk to you y/n.”

“What is it Jungkook?”

“I’m still waiting for my apology.” He said with the biggest grin you could ever imagine. You continued to walk until someone banged into you and it wasn’t a familiar body. You crashed to the floor with a thump, gaining everyone’s attention. You looked up surprised not to see Jungkook for once. It was the popular girl, Regina. She hated you with a passion and until today she had never said a word to you. “Watch where you’re going. Bitch!“ You were about to say something but someone else interrupted you and this time it was a familiar voice, unfortunately. “Hey what was that for?”

“Jungkook!” Regina said fixing her hair making you almost puke. “She banged into me, just like she banged into you. Isn’t she just a bitch?” You opened your mouth to speak but he continued. “Yes she may be a bitch.” You scowled at him and Regina laughed and so did the others. “But…she’s my bitch. So leave her alone. What are you still doing here? Go!” Everyone disappeared and it was just you and Jungkook left, with you still on the floor and him crouching down next to you. “Look who it is. Miss I think I’m great and prettier than everyone else.” He winked at you before he started to make his way down the corridor. You shook your head and giggled slightly as he walked and then he stopped once he reached the double doors. He turned around and held his hand up towards his ear gesturing for you to say it. “Jackass!”

this is really embarrassing but you’re really cute

pairing: jikook w a very strong hint of markson
word count: 1648
genre: humour but no fluff :c

summary: something about being stuck in a tree and having to call the fire department w that one really cute firefighter to come save them


“I can’t believe this.”

Keep reading

prompt: skin deep

summary: sakura sort of, kind of, TOTALLY ACCIDENTALLY stabs sasuke. at least it wasn’t his pretty face?

sakura was nothing if not brilliant. sakura received the highest marks in her year; she scored the highest on tests in near decades, she wrote essays that rivaled the quality of an adult’s, and she was the best reader in the entire academy. sakura was always the first to arrive, the quickest to answer questions, and the last to leave. she worked the hardest that sensei had ever seen, and everything sakura achieved academically was out of sheer hard work and perseverance. sakura was not born skilled. sakura was not predisposed to brilliance, or talent.

that being said, sakura sucked on the field.

she was the smallest as she was the smartest of her year, despite the fact that she was one of the oldest. she had noodle arms and stick legs that were a hindrance more than an understatement. you got what you saw when she walked onto the training grounds, tiny stature and all. her form was laughable, and her stamina was nonexistent. sakura was clumsy, sakura had no special genkai or clan technique, or super strength, and most evidently, and importantly at the moment, she had deplorable aim.

“oh…” she inhaled sharply. “my god.” her green eyes were as round as saucers as she watched the scene before her unfold. how it could have happened so quickly and, yet, in such slow motion, she did not know. one minute, she was aiming for the target she knew she’d ultimately miss, and the next minute?

the next minute, she was watching sasuke-kun crumble into the grass, shouting louder than she had ever heard him shout before, clutching his bicep.

all the kids around them, most specifically the girls, turned around at the sharp cry. before she could even run toward him to apologize and see what had happened, the surprised squeals and rushed feet of too many young girls nearly trampled her. all she could hear was “sasuke-kun!”-s name, and indiscriminate noises of pain not coming from the boy she totally just stabbed.

“i’m an idiot,” she whispered as people rushed past her, including her now worried sensei. “i’m the biggest idiot to ever walk this planet.”

“oh my god, sasuke-kun, did that evil forehead do this to you!” one of them yelled, tears streaming down their face. “here, let me help you, please sasuke-kun!”

“sasuke-kun, no! don’t die! please! we–i love you!” another shouted, falling to her knees at his fallen body.

“at least it wasn’t his face!” another cried.

more screams filled the air, including a few hushed murmurs of some confused, and mostly amused boys about the forehead-girl that totally just impaled the uchiha-kid.

sakura felt her cheeks grow as pink as her hair as she began slowly backing away from the scene. the word forehead stabbed her like a kunai to the gut, ironically, and filled the air with pressure that was near stifling. by the time her back was met with the door, she heard sensei yell, “alright, back up everyone, what’s going on here?!” but did not stay to hear the rest.

she took her seat in the classroom, away from the crowd, and rested her crying face in her crossed arms. how could she do something so stupid, she thought? it was already bad enough that she had no chance of catching up to the other kids, but now she had just hurt the most popular, coolest, and cutest guy in the academy!

“leave it to me, the weak idiot,” she whispered through choked sobs. she shook her head, pink hair sticking to her wet cheeks. “and to top it all off, i’m definitely going to get in trouble. great.”

not soon after, whispering kids began piling into the class, ushered by her red-faced teacher. “you kids no better than to surround a fallen shinobi like that!” he yelled, waving them off to their seats. “what if he had really been hurt?!”

sakura sighed, slowly rising from her position as she quickly wiped her tears. so at least he wasn’t hurt.

“alright, students!” sensei yelled, standing at the front of the class, expecting their attention. “now, as i said before, uchiha-kun will be okay! as of right now, uchiha-kun says that he isn’t sure who threw the kunai and, i think, we may leave it at that. now open up your texts to hand seals and get reading!”

sakura’s eyebrows knitted in confusion. she was totally sure that he had seen her before he had fallen to the ground, and she was certainly the only one throwing kunai at the time. maybe she was wrong, maybe he hadn’t seen her stupid blunder after all. maybe he hadn’t seen he academy weakling slip up, again. maybe she could just pretend like this didn’t happen, ignore the other nasty kids, and move on with her life.

she opened up her textbook to the designated page and sighed. or, maybe, sasuke had cut her a break. she decided, with hot cheeks, that she’d have to stop at the infirmary and apologize no matter what.

she stood in front of the infirmary door, biting her already chewed up bottom lip, cheeks burnt red in embarrassment. it took her a moment to sum up the courage to even raise her tiny fist to knock on the wood door, but by the time she was ready, she heard somebody on the other end yell, “will you just go away already?!”

she took a surprised step back, gasping. “sasuke-kun,” she whispered. he must be annoyed, she thought, at all the girls that have probably been visiting him relentlessly since her stupid blunder.

she debated running away for a moment, feet fidgeting back and forth for an exit, but then she shook her head. determined, she reached for the doorknob, and opened the door slowly.

despite her courage, her voice was weak when she offered through the crack, “it’s me, sakura.”

she waited for a moment, but was greeted with silence. she was about to turn around and leave when she heard his voice, “… come in.”

she opened the door slowly and was greeted by the beautiful boy. he had a frown on his face, and an ace bandage wound tightly around his left bicep. she sighed with relief. “oh good, you’re fine–”

“yeah, no thanks to you,” he huffed. she took a step back with a frown, but then he shook his head slowly. he wrapped in his hair and sighed. “the wound was barely skin deep,” he offered.

“that’s… good,” she tried, and smiled weakly at him. “i’m sorry, sasuke-kun, i didn’t mean too–”

“your aim is terrible,” he cut her off, scoffing. “really. i may as well have been behind you i was so far off from the target.”

“w-what?” she said, eyes widening. she was sure she had never even heard sasuke-kun speak this much. she felt tears begin to well at her waterline at the harsh words as she tried her hardest to keep her lip from quivering.

when he noticed her tears, though, he quickly added, “but,” he smirked, “it was a good throw. you’ve got an arm on you.”

her eyes widened even further, a sob catching in her throat. “r-really?”

“i guess.” he shrugged. “just… try not to use it against me next time.”

she was sure she was going to start crying soon so, instead, she nodded her head quickly, backing toward the door. she found the knob as quickly as possible. “of course! a-again, i’m so sorry, sasuke-kun! please feel better! have a nice night!” she yelled, maybe a little too formally, and threw the door open to make a quick leave.

before she could get out, though, she heard him whisper, “goodnight, sakura.”

anonymous asked:

If you're still doing head cannons could you do a fake dating au?? Like Achilles really wants to piss of his mom and she hates pat cue PINING and ANGST and LOVE CONFESSIONS or smth thanks

Y E S i’m so alive

  • i picture this happening in a college au where they’re roommates. thetis met patroclus on move-in day, and when she finds out that he hasn’t chosen a major yet she writes him off as a stupid directionless kid who will never make anything of himself. every time she comes to visit achilles it’s obvious that her opinion hasn’t changed
  • as they become good friends achilles tells patroclus about how he wishes his mom were less controlling, how he’s stuck majoring in political science because she’s pushed him into that since he was in like fifth grade but all he really wants to do is study music
  • achilles plays the guitar for patroclus one night, a song that he composed himself, and patroclus just looks at his long, gentle fingers on the strings, and his small smile and his closed eyes and just thinks “oh, shit”
  • patroclus lives across the country so he wasn’t going to go home for christmas, and that’s when achilles gets the idea
  • achilles is like, “you could come home with me and we could pretend to be dating! god, that would really show my mom, wouldn’t it? she’s got to learn that she doesn’t dictate my life sometime, right?”
  • patroclus knows that his crush on achilles will make this torture but he agrees anyway because achilles’s mom really does need to learn a lesson or two
  • achilles takes patroclus’s hand as soon as they get out of the car at his house, and sure, they’ve touched before, but not like this, nothing meant to be seen as romantic, and patroclus has to take a few deep breaths to calm himself down
  • there are other guests at achilles’s house already, so when thetis sees them come in the door hand in hand she can’t do anything but stand there and stare in disbelief, and then she asks achilles to come with her into another room for a talk
  • patroclus is very pointedly not invited but achilles takes him along anyway, and thetis is not happy about that but she starts in on the lecture all the same, about how she can’t believe achilles would lower himself to the level of someone as ordinary as patroclus, and how patroclus will only hold him back
  • achilles is squeezing patroclus’s hand hard enough to almost hurt as he argues back, saying that he doesn’t care what she thinks because patroclus is the best thing that’s ever happened to him, and how could someone who makes him want to be better every single day possibly hold him back
  • patroclus doesn’t know what comes over him, because thetis looks scary as hell, but he’s joining in, “mrs pelides, i know you want the best for your son, but isn’t it possible that he knows more about what’s best for him than you do? he wants to be with me, and i want to be with him. he wants to study music, and he’s incredible at it. if you don’t let him make his own choices, you’re the one who’s holding him back”
  • when he finishes he glances over at achilles, who is staring at him in wonder. and achilles says, softly, “i love you so much”
  • there’s a moment of euphoria before patroclus remembers that none of this is real and the ground is ripped out from under him. he excuses himself from the room and practically runs out to the cold of the backyard and angrily wipes away tears because he’d been so stupid, he’d screwed up already, he couldn’t even do this one thing for achilles without letting his stupid feelings get in the way
  • about five minutes later achilles finds patroclus in his outdoor hiding place and sits next to him, looking dejected, and patroclus is just opening his mouth to apologize when achilles beats him to it
  • “look pat, i’m really sorry. i thought i could do this but i messed it all up and freaked you out. is there any way we can pretend this never happened? i don’t expect you to–to reciprocate anything, can we just stay friends?”
  • patroclus takes a second to make sense of what he just heard, and then he says, “wait, you meant it? you actually love me?”
  • “yeah, but like i said, you don’t have to–”
  • “oh my god, achilles, i love you too”
  • “…….we’re the biggest idiots ever, aren’t we”
  • thetis comes out a few minutes later, looking to reconcile with achilles, but he and patroclus are kissing and they don’t seem likely to come up for air for about a decade. she turns around and goes back inside