biggest bong

literallymichaelscott  asked:

I hope you realize that you've competely lost your right to consider yourself a caring person by celebrating the possible excruciating death of a real human being. It doesn't matter if you don't agree with mccains views, people like you give all liberals a bad name. You really need to think a bit before you say things like that. Honestly wtf

When John McCain Dies I’m Smoking Da Biggest Bong U Ever Seen! ~Join Me On My Internet Beach Party~

So I work in a small soccer store located next to a recreational marijuana store and this just happened:

I’m helping a family decide on cleats for their 6 year old when a man walks in. Now this was not an ordinary man. No in fact I would categorize him as very out of the ordinary. Now we’ll just call this man Rasta Steve on account of everything he was wearing being a Rastafarian pattern and for the fact that he had the longest, darkest dreadlocks I had ever seen… Which was an interesting choice when contrasted to his pale almost sheet white skin. Now Rasta Steve is clearly high when he stumbles in and I know this not only because he reeked of weed, but by the fact that he is carrying the BIGGEST BONG I HAVE EVER SEEN! Not only was this a dead give away to his current state of mind, but this motherfucker still had weed burning in the bowl. Now that the scene is set, what happened next was something I’ll never forget. So he stumbles in, bong still emitting ganj smoke, while the family and I just stare in awe at what we’re seeing. Without looking around he walks up to the counter and I shit you not says,

“Ayyy brotha man, great day out right? Can you give me an ounce of Alaskan Thunderfuck?”

At this point it suddenly dawns on me that, holy shit he’s so high he thinks he’s in the pot shop.
Before I can answer though he notices the shocked family that is staring at him and says,

“Woahh you can let kids in here now? I’m all about the good healing herb, but that’s a little irresponsible isn’t it man?”

He then looks at the 6 year old boy who seems like he doesn’t know what to make of this man and says,

“Stay in school lil bro. Homework now, weed can wait.”

After this exchange we can suddenly see something dawn on Rasta Steve’s face. The realization that, no this is not an establishment to buy marijuana, but in fact a family soccer store. He then yells,

“Oh goddammit? Again? Are you serious Steve?!”

Then with a sudden burst of speed that no one expected he did a quick U-turn, spilled some bong water on the carpet and rushed out the door. And as quickly as he’d stumbled into my life, he was gone. Now I’m not sure if that was just a random guy who was stoned out of his mind or if it was an angel, but one thing’s for sure I’ll never forget Rasta Steve.

We went to a circle K around midnight and this kid had like two cops next to his car just lecturing him while he vacantly stared into the distance and i didnt know what was going on until i looked on the hood of his car and saw the biggest fucking bong I’ve ever seen. Have you ever inhaled a mouthful of mountain dew in shock because its not a pleasant experience

The Seven Wonders of the Modern World

1. The Colosseum, Italy
2. Taj Mahal, India
3. The World’s Biggest Bong, my uncle Joe’s house
4. Great Wall of China, Babey
5. fucking Jesus down in Rio
6. h
7. My inflamed dick and balls