big-steps

I need to get  pic of my outfit. I think I did a good job throwing stuff together today. No make up since I haven’t showered yet. That, and we get to eat sooner if I don’t put it on. Just in case I don’t get a pic, I’m wearing my gray jeans & tall brown boots. I tried my ankle boots, but I don’t think it worked. 

I’ve made sort of progress with my compulsive eating this week. I did buy things I didn’t need to buy to eat, I got less that I really “wanted.” I was so drawn to the new Pizza Hut Garlic knots pizza. I got a smaller one instead on thin crust, and then didn’t eat anything extra during nap. So that was a big step on a day that I did sort of give in. Today I’m really trying to not give in at all. 

My next wordpress post to share on Facebook is going to be on intuitive eating. I don’t want everyone to think I’m totally crazy after my first few posts. I had a couple people suggest counseling. Nope nope. 

Oh, the Molten Chocolate Latte at Starbucks is so good and worth paying for once. It left so much chocolate in my cup that when I got my free refill of brewed, it tastes chocolaty, too.

Yesterday & today are too cold to subject Ryland to the stroller, but tomorrow & Friday are supposed to be 60ish, so I’m planning to run one day and walk the other.

I think the new version of Chapter is vastly improved, much more personal now with the new visuals. It could still use more audio (mainly regarding the truck), but there’s still little touches there like the doors opening/closing that adds implication.

Anyway, I want to wait until I have a prototype of Chapter 2 finished before I post a public update, but if anyone wants to beta test the updated version of Chapter 1 to help me weed out any oddities I might be missing, please drop me a line with your OS (Win or Mac) and I can send you a link.

I’m taking a break today but tomorrow I’ll be trying to get the prototype (ie all of the text/choices) for Chapter 2 done, and then later in the week I’ll try to hammer out a preview of Chapter 8 – it’s a big step in the story and the first section will be very unconventional so I’m trying to give myself time to stew on my ideas.

Thanks again for the comments ya’ll post on the fic and the messages of support.

anonymous asked:

Kish! I did my speech today in English on veganism; I was a bit nervous since people are often so close minded about it- but I think I made a good impact. ❤️

Awwww very very proud x thats a big step babe xxx

as mentioned previously, the boys met yesterday. [!!!]

my guy and i had a long conversation after the cope concert last week about our relationship & where things were going, and by the end of our talk he made it clear he was ready to take the next step and meet rhyan.

[back-story on the basketball: after seeing rhyan’s old/worn out one in my car, he commented on how he needed a new/legit/official one]

so i shouldn’t have been surprised when he showed up at our door yesterday with a shiny new ball in hand. introductions were made, we settled in to watch the acc championship and made small talk during the commercials. it was apparent from the start, there’d be no issue with their getting along … they immediately bonded over all things manly & guy-related.

after the game, we hit the basketball court to break in the new ball & show off our skills with the old one. we laughed, we poked fun at one another, and quickly eased into the groove. at one point, rhyan gave me a quick thumbs-up and whispered ‘he’s alright!’ [and yes, i melted]

we returned home to the smell of corn beef roasting in the oven, i put the meal together and we dove in. rhyan later commented on how strange it was to have a third person at the table, which was true … it’s always just been him and i. after dinner we stuffed ourselves with cheesecake and caught up on some dvr’d shows before saying our goodbyes.

i walked him to the car and thanked him for such an incredible day, and he quickly turned the tables – saying it was his absolute pleasure.

and in that moment, all was right in the world.

1) Apologies for people who don’t like feet. BUT

2) this is the first time I’ve weighed myself the entirety of the Winter Challenge. I kept forgetting, or being scared to, or last week I was on my period and was like HELL NO.

I started the challenge at 238.2 pounds. I ate like shit yesterday and I still stepped on the scale this morning. At basically the half way point, I wanted a check in.

This is my highest weight from before my surgeries this summer. I never thought seeing a number like this would make me happy.

Sure it’s only 3 pounds lost in 4 weeks, but you know what? I think I lost inches.

Here’s a little secret: I put on jeans this morning.

Yes. I hate jeans. I refuse to buy a bigger size and because of that I never wear them. Well. All my pants were dirty and it’s casual Friday.

Don’t get me wrong. The pants are still a little tight. But I buttoned them.

I BUTTONED MY JEANS AND THATS SURE AS HELL SOMETHING I HAVENT DONE IN A LONG WHILE.

I promised myself that this challenge for me was going to be all about non-scale victories.

This was my main one. I’m not quite where I want to be yet, as the jeans are still uncomfortable and a large part of my stomach is very unflattering at the top. BUT I BUTTONED THEM!!!

Happy Friday everyone! HAPPY FREAKING FRIDAY

Forgive Me...

I want to apologize.
For all the mischievous misdeeds and mistreatment in misleads,
I have struggled to confess.  Surely, conquered by the best,
But professed in a way when a hand relaxed itself on chest,
the beating of a breast bone wasn’t enough to include
the tones of an algorithm adding itself up for love to be shown.

I want to apologize.
The words one day will come out of your mouth and feel shame
when you stand before your spouse naked, unadorned apparel,
And the only thing you wear is the guilt from relationships past, 
That I fastened myself into like a buckle clicking from behind a wheel
Where steering became a thing from a laugh. We did laugh. We laughed a lot.
More than a thought, but an actual blot of ink smeared down and through
pages riddled like composition marble, only to find ourselves marveling at last.

I want to apologize.
One day when the sun sets and your hands are nestled in each others,
I will creep into your thoughts at that place and begin to make waste
To the sentiment of marriage, and my heart grieves this case. It probably
Has already happened, and since it has, I’ve saddened not because of me
Not grabbing hands, but simply because I was reckoned in thoughts.
It wasn’t me who bought the moment, but only a person who ruffled
the sheets on the throne that he should sit in.

I want to apologize.
For all the respect that comes from you is in confrontations out of the blue,
And I have mishandled your words from truth to lies, slightful vies,
Where I say, “Do you want the truth?” and you say “No,” yet cry.
I know, more than you think I do; where the caged bird sings behind bars,
Calling all cars, to a place that was charred; people fighting for freedom, and we did not.
Simply scathing the cage for a wage compensated to us from a trust that was
Formed out of lust, and those times have past. We were rewired, reborn,
reviled and we mourned. I know, and if I could just place my finger on your lips
to make you harken to silence, and show you a film over the beats of triumph, it would be this.

I want to redeem.
You would see on the silver screen, a film where two people were at their best,
Heaving chests and we ask ourselves where our love has gone. We are
comparatively 
stacked against when we see odds in perfection, a selection of crafty
expertise in sexually attracted sections. “I’d stay forever. I’d say I love you
always.”
Falling away, you realize what true love was, for the fear of letting go,
Was conquered by the love that lets us know what stays forever. And I am there,
Ruffled thrones, sunsets shows, marble notes, and subtle tones,
Creeping in places that don’t belong to me, but my promise was kept.
Forever. 

So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
—  Christopher McCandless
Moving day!

So, another chapter, another big step…Peter moved in this afternoon! 3 trips and no furniture (thank goodness) and the move is complete. So happy it’s a holiday weekend so we’ll have all day tomorrow and Monday to organize, rearrange, and get everything in order before the work week begins. So happy that I will get to fall asleep to him every night and wake up to him every morning :)

Hi all.

I am having a blogging time-out while I organize my thoughts during this semi-hectic-but-totally-awesome transitional period in my family’s life. In the last week the following has occurred:

  • My husband got a new job!
  • We all came down with the stomach flu :(
  • We found our dream home, signed a lease & are moving this weekend :-) :-) :-)
  • I spoke with a local modeling agency & I may be hopping on board within the next few months, eek!
  • Aaand I should just throw it in the mix that I have like, 5,384 loads of laundry to do ;-)

I will catch up with all of my tumblr/blogging friends very, very soon, and share all of the crazy-awesome shenanigans we are getting ourselves into. Ahhh! Can’t wait!

Hugs & all my love!
Robin