big-steps

I met Mads Mikkelsen omg. We learned in the morning that he was coming to Cannes to present an award, so we flipped over our sign for Jake Gyllenhaal and wrote Mads’s name on it (Jake wasn’t gonna come anyway since he didn’t care at all for the festivaliers or anything festival related but that’s another story) (Oh and he didn’t come when we screamed for him, like everytime we saw him). Anyway when he came out of the car we screamed his name, he saw my sign, waved, and then came towards me with big steps and smiling. He said “No” to people who wanted an autograph and was showing my sign to explain why he couldn’t. We took our picture and he told me “That’s so nice you were waiting for me!” and I was like fjhsdlkjfsldkhgdflgdkfh (actually I was so focused on his mouth that I didn’t even hear what he told me, my friend told me after the montée that he talked to me). Then he left but came back because my friends wanted their autographs too haha.

Mads is a kitten and I love him. 

So it actually turned into a 2 hour 7km walk along the canal! I really don’t know if people were seeing a girl or just a feminine hipster guy - i really hope the former but I fear the latter - but other than a guy in the shops that wouldn’t stop giving me really off looks it generally went okay! And it was so nice to get out the flat and just be me, even if it was a fairly muted, more genderless version of me.

Lesson #341789

It is okay if you are 18, in college, and haven’t had a boyfriend/girlfriend. It is okay if at age 21 you haven’t made the “big step” and lost your virginity whether man or woman. It is okay if at 30 you haven’t had children yet, there are so many out there wanting to be loved. It is okay at 50 if you are alone but not lonely- there is a difference. I feel society puts pressure on us to fall in love and have kids and grow old together. Although that is ideal for some, it does not make you any less than. Find your own fulfillment.

First Time

This was just a random idea I had tonight, meant as nothing more than a little bit of fun which I hope you’ll all enjoy!

Pairing: Bumblebee


 “Are you sure about this?” she asked, looking at her beautiful blonde partner one more time.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” Yang assured her, taking one of her hands and sharing a smile.

But no matter how many times she heard it from the blonde’s mouth, she couldn’t shake the nerves that had taken up residence in her body, unwilling to release their stranglehold on her normally cool demeanor. She could practically feel herself shaking with anxiety.

“I just…this is a really big step.”

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happy pansexual/panromantic awareness and visibility day!

since i was little, i knew that was something different about me. when i was 12/13 i realized what it was: i wasnt straight. but i knew i wasnt gay either. when i was 14/15 i learned that there were bisexual people and i thought i was also bi, but it never really fit me, i never felt at ease with that label.

i started researching more and more about the lgbtqia+ community and, when i was about 17 i found the definition of pansexual and it took me a long time, but i finally found a label to which i could identify as! 

i already told my high school and college friends and they were all very supportive. the next big step is telling my mom.

D Day

i’m about to pass up an amazing job opportunity to be the assistant costume designer on a big network show. i had the weekend to think about it and i have to give my answer today. i recently got a raise at my current show (which is on hiatus) but this would be a big step up. a screen credit. i don’t get any credit for the actual design work i have been doing this past season.

but i love my boss. she’s from LA though and once the show runs it’s course she won’t be taking me with her when she goes back home. 

and i also LOVE the local designer who offered me the assistant position. what to do? 

i am an idiot. too loyal for my own good i guess. 

Shuffle playlist tag thingy

I was tagged by paulinewrites a looonnngg time ago. Ten songs on shuffle from my playlist! Yayyyy.

1. To Make You Feel My Love - Adele

2. When You Were Young - The Killers

3. Riot - Mikky Ekko

4. Dangerous - Big Data

5. One Step Closer - Linkin Park

6. Erase And Rewind - The Cardigans

7. Crawling - Linkin Park

8. The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy

9. My Own Worst Enemy - Lit

10. Close As Strangers - 5 Seconds of Summer

I tag fandomrejects mauiwxwie idecidediwasafeminist skunkeys808 at-dawn-we-ride-motherfuckers hoodswhisper cliffclouds mukegiggles and mukenope

i’ve actually gotten a little better though now i even make text posts on tumblr and express myself in the tags of posts i make and reblog i never used to do any of this

and for some reason my text posts usually get a like or two and thank you for liking my posts if you have it always surprises me that i ever get any notes but it’s a nice feeling to be reassured that people have read my thoughts and i’ve shared my thoughts and not just kept everything to myself like usual

masayoshi too. he’s helped me so so so so so much. i’m so depressed it’s hard for me to care about anything at all but this guy has managed to constantly make me laugh and smile even when i’m in the worst moods and i’m so thankful for that i love. masayoshi. thank you

i love all of you too thank you for supporting me and actually putting up with me on your dashboard because it’s a very big step for me to speak up so often even if it’s just continuous meaningless posts about how much i love masayoshi (LMAO) it’s still something and me expressing my feelings in words to people and that’s a big step.

To clear two things up

Why it’s important:

Haylor was literally the biggest obstacle in the way of Louis and Harry coming out. If they chose not to spin it like this then we would probably get things like “I didn’t know Harry was with Louis! I feel so betrayed!” because the alternative would smear Taylor Swift. It would have been a huge bloody mess for everyone involved. These pics mean they can say that they were friends the whole time, that Taylor was just helping Harry out, that her songs about him were made to support him, etc. This is a really big step towards Larry being out of the closet.

Why it’s ironic:

Taylor is a symbol of the worst of Louis and Harry’s closeting. She was what stopped them from being together. She was also what raised Harry’s name in the US, and Louis despised her. Now Taylor is a symbol of the end of Louis and Harry’s closeting. Her participation is helping them to be together. And on top of all that she is going to raise Louis’ name in the US.

God this is incredible.

as mentioned previously, the boys met yesterday. [!!!]

my guy and i had a long conversation after the cope concert last week about our relationship & where things were going, and by the end of our talk he made it clear he was ready to take the next step and meet rhyan.

[back-story on the basketball: after seeing rhyan’s old/worn out one in my car, he commented on how he needed a new/legit/official one]

so i shouldn’t have been surprised when he showed up at our door yesterday with a shiny new ball in hand. introductions were made, we settled in to watch the acc championship and made small talk during the commercials. it was apparent from the start, there’d be no issue with their getting along … they immediately bonded over all things manly & guy-related.

after the game, we hit the basketball court to break in the new ball & show off our skills with the old one. we laughed, we poked fun at one another, and quickly eased into the groove. at one point, rhyan gave me a quick thumbs-up and whispered ‘he’s alright!’ [and yes, i melted]

we returned home to the smell of corn beef roasting in the oven, i put the meal together and we dove in. rhyan later commented on how strange it was to have a third person at the table, which was true … it’s always just been him and i. after dinner we stuffed ourselves with cheesecake and caught up on some dvr’d shows before saying our goodbyes.

i walked him to the car and thanked him for such an incredible day, and he quickly turned the tables – saying it was his absolute pleasure.

and in that moment, all was right in the world.