my guy and i had a long conversation after the cope concert last week about our relationship & where things were going, and by the end of our talk he made it clear he was ready to take the next step and meet rhyan.
[back-story on the basketball: after seeing rhyan’s old/worn out one in my car, he commented on how he needed a new/legit/official one]
so i shouldn’t have been surprised when he showed up at our door yesterday with a shiny new ball in hand. introductions were made, we settled in to watch the acc championship and made small talk during the commercials. it was apparent from the start, there’d be no issue with their getting along … they immediately bonded over all things manly & guy-related.
after the game, we hit the basketball court to break in the new ball & show off our skills with the old one. we laughed, we poked fun at one another, and quickly eased into the groove. at one point, rhyan gave me a quick thumbs-up and whispered ‘he’s alright!’ [and yes, i melted]
we returned home to the smell of corn beef roasting in the oven, i put the meal together and we dove in. rhyan later commented on how strange it was to have a third person at the table, which was true … it’s always just been him and i. after dinner we stuffed ourselves with cheesecake and caught up on some dvr’d shows before saying our goodbyes.
i walked him to the car and thanked him for such an incredible day, and he quickly turned the tables – saying it was his absolute pleasure.
I want to apologize. For all the mischievous misdeeds and mistreatment in misleads, I have struggled to confess. Surely, conquered by the best, But professed in a way when a hand relaxed itself on chest, the beating of a breast bone wasn’t enough to include the tones of an algorithm adding itself up for love to be shown.
I want to apologize. The words one day will come out of your mouth and feel shame when you stand before your spouse naked, unadorned apparel, And the only thing you wear is the guilt from relationships past, That I fastened myself into like a buckle clicking from behind a wheel Where steering became a thing from a laugh. We did laugh. We laughed a lot. More than a thought, but an actual blot of ink smeared down and through pages riddled like composition marble, only to find ourselves marveling at last.
I want to apologize. One day when the sun sets and your hands are nestled in each others, I will creep into your thoughts at that place and begin to make waste To the sentiment of marriage, and my heart grieves this case. It probably Has already happened, and since it has, I’ve saddened not because of me Not grabbing hands, but simply because I was reckoned in thoughts. It wasn’t me who bought the moment, but only a person who ruffled the sheets on the throne that he should sit in.
I want to apologize. For all the respect that comes from you is in confrontations out of the blue, And I have mishandled your words from truth to lies, slightful vies, Where I say, “Do you want the truth?” and you say “No,” yet cry. I know, more than you think I do; where the caged bird sings behind bars, Calling all cars, to a place that was charred; people fighting for freedom, and we did not. Simply scathing the cage for a wage compensated to us from a trust that was Formed out of lust, and those times have past. We were rewired, reborn, reviled and we mourned. I know, and if I could just place my finger on your lips to make you harken to silence, and show you a film over the beats of triumph, it would be this.
I want to redeem. You would see on the silver screen, a film where two people were at their best, Heaving chests and we ask ourselves where our love has gone. We are comparatively stacked against when we see odds in perfection, a selection of crafty expertise in sexually attracted sections. “I’d stay forever. I’d say I love you always.” Falling away, you realize what true love was, for the fear of letting go, Was conquered by the love that lets us know what stays forever. And I am there, Ruffled thrones, sunsets shows, marble notes, and subtle tones, Creeping in places that don’t belong to me, but my promise was kept. Forever.
So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
So, another chapter, another big step…Peter moved in this afternoon! 3 trips and no furniture (thank goodness) and the move is complete. So happy it’s a holiday weekend so we’ll have all day tomorrow and Monday to organize, rearrange, and get everything in order before the work week begins. So happy that I will get to fall asleep to him every night and wake up to him every morning :)
Piano Across America is undergoing some SERIOUS changes!
Just sold the big yellow truck today. Looking to downside the vehicle and make some big changes– LIFE Changes. This truck was my first car that I ever bought with my own money and I’ve had many great experiences during the 25,000 miles I’ve driven it.
On top of all that, GET THIS: I’ve packed my bags and decided to randomly head over to New Orleans (one of my favorite cities). You wont believe how I got myself into this mess. Its really insane how life works itself out but I KNOW that I am meant to go down to experience Mardi Gras for the first time. And thats not the only reason why I’m going… I’m going to find an answer to my future. At least for a week.
Stay tuned. I’ll post a video with more details this week.
Harder then any other before her. Rightnow she’s asleep in my bed, and it’s the cutest thing. I can’t wait to cuddle up next to her, neither of us sleep right unless we’re physically sleeping together. And my day just isn’t complete until my lips are against hers and my arms are around her waist. She brings joy to me. A joy I never thought I would have again at this extent. My own little heroin full of it’s madness of sanity in a happiness that can only be given by igniting the fire. The fire between us is a burning chaos of love, and who would really want to call that in for emergency to put out when it’s such a rare sight you’re stuck in awe at it. Jaw dropping. That’s what she is in the morning when she first wakes up, without any makeup on right out of the shower. It’s stunning, how she sips her coffee and exhales the smoke from her cigarette from her mouth and her nose. I’m attached to every single detail as though i’m absorbing the energy from the sun in a solar panel powered car. No one else brings such a smile to my face. Nothing comes close to how euphoric it feels when we’re laughing over tickle fights and mocking one another in our best friend moments that should be caught on camera. we are like jack and sally wrapped up in flesh and bones. My heart has never known another so much as it’s home, until now. Until I found her, she’s simply, The One.