THIS TRANSLATION IS DEDICATED TO MY ROOMMATE, THE SAVIOR OF MY LIFE. She protected me from the deadly spider sitting mere inches away from me, saved me from my peril, and cooks delicious food for I am a failure of a heroine. I know you enjoy BL, but since I do not reveal my hobbies to the world, you do not know of this nakama living so close to you. But STILL, as long as the candle of my life continues to burn, I SHALL OFFER RIREN UP IN YOUR NAME.
more dex headcannons bc i cannot stop thinking about this precious boy AHHH
he likes boring cereal. not like raisin bran or anything horrible, but like. kix and rice checks and cheerios. (mostly bc he’s not a breakfast person and so anything too sugary will make him feel gross but ALSO bc it’s what his parents bought bc his siblings would NEVER agree on anything else than boring stuff)
he knows how to cook enough that he wouldn’t starve if he was on his own. this comes from years of helping out around his house and cooking dinner for his younger siblings when his parents had to work nights or were too tired.
hates singing, but has an okay voice. this is discovered during one kegster when whitney houston’s i will always love you comes on and him and nursey get caught up in the moment
LOVES BABIES!!! LIKE!! HE LOVES BABIES SO MUCH!! when he sees a baby in public he always waves and the grins when the babies faces light up. the first time nursey witnesses this he literally almost melts into a puddle of affection and LOVE
he’s always warm. like. legit he is a space heater and nursey and him can’t share a bed bc they both run hot and so they wake up sweating and stuck together and they’re like “ugh” as they lovingly push each other away to try to get air
he was really into harry potter when he was younger, but stopped liking it as much when a few of his friends started comparing him to ron weasley every six seconds. it gets old.
doesn’t like his first name. there was always another Will in his classes when he was younger. one year in elementary school there were three Wills in his class, and one of their last names started with a P, too. It was horrible.
HE’S ON THE ACE SPECTRUM!!!! (pry this from my cold, dead hands)
he was a very quiet kid. the only time he yelled or threw tantrums was when his older sister would pick on him or tell him he was doing something wrong (this ranges from school work to building a tower with blocks. she learned to stop giving “constructive criticism”)
likes to take naps, but only if someone is napping with him 8)
once he gets close to someone, he gets v protective and attached and will defend that person to the ends of the earth
doesn’t like his picture taken without his permission, even if the picture turns out okay
probably thinks that bugs are cool and used to collect them in jars. he didn’t have many friends ok
(HE HAS TO SAVE NURSEY FROM SPIDERS. “yo it’s chill an all but i literally will not be able to sleep or breathe in this room if that spider is alive and kickin’” “oh my god i’ll trap it and put it outside” “yeah….haha…ok……………but what if it comes back”) (#nurseyhasnochill #spiderkillingboyfriendoftheyear)
JUST LIKE. knows how to do a lot of weird shit? like he can make almost any animal in shadow puppets and he has mad tick tack toe skills, he knows basic oragami and can do all those weird cats cradle things with string? he can make a MASH board in like ten seconds flat, can braid hair, and knows how to construct a stable pillow fort in his sleep. At first everyone is like wtf but then if anyone asks he just shrugs and says that he had four younger siblings and only one hour of tv a night, and suddenly it makes sense
he has like. so many books. most of them are from thrift stores and he got them for 75 cents and they’re shit, but he’s read all of them anyway. when he was younger he would read anything that was given to him, but as he got older he started reading mostly historical fiction and scifi. he’s a nerd.
owns a pair of overalls.
thinks the annoying trope of “trying to count someone’s freckles” is cheesy and stupid, and one time nursey tried and he pushed him off the bed. there are too many. it’s dumb
GOD I COULD GO ON FOREVER I LOVE WILLIAM POINDEXTER