big-dumb-baby

So I was just thinking, you know when your cat brings you a dead animal and you’re suddenly reminded that their vicious predators? (Quick note: they do this bc they see us as big dumb babies and are trying to teach us how to hunt) and what if aliens are always low-key afraid we’ll do that with them? Like they’ll get along with their human crew members just fine but always be on edge thinking we’ll like pull a dead mouse out of our pocket and give it to them

This is Charlie, and he’s a big sweet dumb chubby baby. Sometimes, he chases the shadow of his own tail because he literally doesn’t understand what it is. He does not pose well for the camera. unflunflayueri

Overgrown Lizard Law

A/N: Hi guys! Second one-shot in two days, I’m on fire! I had fun with this one, and it’s my first request! I hope you guys like it! Requests are open, and feedback is always welcome. Feel free to follow me!

Request: Hello can I get an Owen x Reader where the reader works with Owen and the raptors? The raptors act weird towards the reader and no one knows why. It turns out it’s because they acknowledge her as the alpha’s mate and so alpha female of the pack?

Owen x Reader

Warnings: Swearing again, but only like once so it’s fine.
Y/N/N: Your Nickname (or just your name)
Y/L/N: Your Last Name

“Are you nervous?” You ask, leaning your arms on the railing of the catwalk, watching as the girls play-fought and chased each other around the paddock.

“Me? Nervous? Sweet cheeks, I was born ready.” Owen said with his signature smirk plastered across his-quite honestly, gorgeous- face, reaching out a finger and bopping you on the nose. Rolling your eyes, you bump him with your shoulder, and look down at the ground again watching as Delta ran circles around Charlie. Biting your lip and playing with your hands anxiously, you watch as the two chase each other’s tails.

Keep reading

let complex characters be complex, assholes

“johnny is my smol gay sensitive bby uwu”

he spent most of his life as a spoiled rich athlete who used his wealth and status to get into women’s pants and shit on people of lower social standing than him, and would definitely still be if karma hadn’t bitten him in the ass. he’s the most selfish jojo by a lot and doesn’t care who he hurts as long as it furthers his goals.

“gyro is just a big dumb goofball baby”

gyro is a doctor and an executioner. gyro was practically forced into a very unpleasant line of work simply due to his lineage and copes through humor, and still has very strong moral standing on what’s right an wrong. his job was literally to kill criminals but to make it so they don’t suffer. honestly 1000x smarter than johnny, let’s be honest.

“diego is my soft dino son and did nothing wrong”

diego is a greedy aristocrat and honestly not a nice or kind person. he values his own life above everyone else’s and thinks of himself as being superior to everyone. diego’s misanthropic and narcissistic due to his upbringing and has no qualms with hurting innocent people if it benefits him.

Sunday

Pants worn: 0
Podcasts listened to: a million
Loads of laundry done: 2
Tomatoes currently growing on my tomato plant: 5
Distance between my apartment and friend’s birthday dinner that I didn’t get invited to: 2 blocks
How big a baby I am being about this: very
How old I actually am: way too old to be being such a big dumb baby
Hours until I get up tomorrow: 5

7

July 1, 2011- Stubby’s Tavern

“This place looks like a dump…I like it.”

“Shut it,” Jace said, “we’re just going in for a drink.”

“Sure,” Diego smirked.

“What’re you having?”

“My usual,” Diego said, “easy on the ice.”

“I gotcha, Bubba.“ Diego sat at the nearest table while Jace ordered their drinks. He returned a moment later, taking the seat across from his brother. Looks like a slow night.

“Thanks,” Diego said, inspecting his drink before taking a sip.

“The least I could do,” Jace said, “you really didn’t have to help me today, y'know.”

“A simple thank you would be fine, little brother,” Diego said, studying Jace carefully, “I’m sick of seeing the shitholes you move into. You’re a fucking adult.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jace scowled, “ but I didn’t ask for your help.”

“No,” Diego raised an eyebrow, “but you did ask to stay at my place until the end of the month.”

“That’s different,” Jace sighed, “I just couldn’t…it was too hard.”

“And you’re still not over her. You’ve gotten soft. Neck-deep in pussy and you’re pining away for that, well, I wouldn’t call her a woman anyway.”

“Shut your fucking mouth about Aida,” Jace snapped, “you’re not one to talk.”

“Well you’re an idiot for breaking up with her then,” Diego retorted, his voice sharp as broken glass, “you probably deserved a punch in the face, God knows you’re stupid enough.”

“Tell me something I don’t know, asshole,”

“How about get your balls untwisted and get back with her, or shut the hell up about it,” Diego rolled his eyes, “this is exactly why I don’t date women, too much drama.”

“Bullshit!” Jace bellowed, “you’ll literally fuck anything that moves!”

“Fucking and dating aren’t the same thing, little brother,” Diego shrugged, “I’m just saying that men are much easier, none of this feelings nonsense.”

“Which further proves my point!” Jace shook his head. Any time spent together usually resulted in them trading barbs and busting each others’ balls. To an outsider, it would appear that the men were in an argument, but they weren’t actually serious. At least, not usually.

“I’m not arguing,” Diego grinned smugly, “but why would I ever deny myself something I want over something as arbitrary as what’s between their legs? Or want to put up with only one person?”

“If only we could all be as open as you,” Jace chuckled, “you’re a real saint.”

“That’s me, just trying to spread the love.”

“Spreading STIs maybe.”

“Touché, little brother.”

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