big tuba

instruments as trumpets see them
  • french horn: weird, unbalanced, awkward instruments that should not exist
  • tuba: big hunk of brass that sounds like an elephant
  • euphonium: smaller tuba
  • flute: don't know, never heard one
  • mellophone: less awesome trumpet
  • trombone: we drift from gods light every day because of trombones
  • saxophone: only good for jazz
  • clarinet: wood stick that screeches a lot
  • oboe: clarinets that insist on being weird
  • bassoon: basically water buffalos as instruments
  • percussion: abuse of random objects

When I joined my school’s band, the other tubist (your stereotypical big guy tuba player) was quite convinced I couldn’t lift the tuba on my own for the first month or so. Due to the stress of joining band and playing with an ensemble for the first time, I couldn’t play correctly, and he’s assumed since I’m not capable of playing at all.

I really want to switch to trumpet.

moderator: DON’T CAVE. NEVERTHELESS, SHE PERSISTED.

As a Bass Player, Life Hurts Just A Lil’

Things my instrument has been called:

“Big violin”

“Fiddle… Big Fiddle”

“Guitar”

“Like Tuba But With Strings”

“Fat Guy”

“Harp??? Right thats a harp,,, I really like harp..,,”

“GET OUT OF THE FUCKGUIG WAY RICAHRD TAHTS A BIG FUCVKIGN GUITAR COMING JESUISES CVHTRIST”

“Daddy Cello”

and my personal favorite,

“viola”

Person: “what instrument do you play?” 

Me: “I play Tuba!”

Person:   “…?”

Me:    “the big brass one in the back..”

Person:  “oh yeah! like the one that goes oom pa”

Me:   *all of the chords I’ve provided the roots for, the bass lines I’ve played, the symphonic lines I’ve had, and the concertos I’ve performed flash through my head*

Me:   “yeah the oompa one”