big truck driver

anonymous asked:

So I work at a pretty big chain (super)store. Truck drivers aren't allowed to park in our parking lot anymore because a few years back there was apparently a woman that would exchange sexual services for money. This woman also had HIV. And didn't tell her clients this fact. Wtf is wrong with some people! Like I get that that's your chosen way to provide an income for yourself buuut if you have a disease that can literally kill someone you kinda need to disclose that??????

Those women are “lot lizards”. My dad had one knock on his door when he was a long haul truck driver. He told her he wasn’t interested and she high kicked him in the face. He was equally impressed and pissed at the same time because she was standing on the little step ladder to get into the cab when she did that. Flexible as hell. My dad couldn’t stand lot lizards because he just wanted to sleep ffs.  Not sleep with them. He always called them the jehovahs witnesses of the sex trade. You don’t go to them, they come to you. Whether you like it or not. -Abby

My favorite types of Memphis drivers, in no particular order:

- People (usually in minivans) with pro-life license plates that drive like they’re running the Daytona 500 while 10 times over the legal blood alcohol level and texting.
- People from out of state (usually from Texas) that think they have to go either 30 or 90 through the 40/240 interchange (for reference, if it’s the end of the month and the MPD is actually running radar it’s the posted 55. Otherwise it’s 65-75 depending on what everyone else is doing).
- People who literally have duct tape for windows and their bumper bungee corded on that still have kickass stereo systems.
- People in big jacked up redneck trucks that think they can fit on Poplar Ave.
- People that drive on Poplar Ave. in general.
- People with high intensity headlights (usually aforementioned big redneck truck drivers) that drive around them on high all the time and melt my corneas.

3

Double the Kurt Russell, double the fun! Two of John Carpenter’s most beloved creations - Big Trouble in Little China and Escape from New York - are coming together in a crossover comic from Boom Studios.

Written by Greg Pak and illustrated by Daniel Bayliss, the six-issue miniseries is made with Carpenter’s blessing. The first issue will be available in October with two connecting covers.

In it, big-mouthed truck driver Jack Burton is transported to the dystopian future of 1997, where he meets his taciturn, eyepatch-sporting doppelgänger, Snake Plissken.

Boom! Studios is also publishing two non-fiction books by Tara Bennett and Paul Terry to mark the 30th anniversary of Big Trouble in Little China. The Official Making of Big Trouble in Little China arrives this August, while The Art of Big Trouble in Little China is out in November. 

big truck drivers, usually always has brights on and is somehow always behind u no matter if ur on the freeway or streets, has huge tires, sometimes has the confederate flag somewhere on their truck for the world to see

suv drivers, ruthless and fast, passes without signaling and rides ur ass in bumper to bumper traffic, honks a lot and may cuss at u out the window

van drivers, angry, slow, and runs red lights, gets mad when u pass them, takes forever to turn, changes lanes incredibly slow

prius drivers who drive very slow to save mpg, goes into the fast lane doing 60 mph max, slowing everyone down behind them, doesnt really signal

guy that likes to streetrace and drift and vape and drives a honda civic with spoilers and has bright white or blue headlights that can blind ppl and sometimes has an underglow, drives unnecessarily fast on the freeway and weaves inbetween cars, has a ridiculously loud engine, usually playing music very loud

2

Tonight I saw Carol Burnett and Brian Dennehy in Love Letters. The play was gr, but also terribly sad. By the end I was crying, and then Carol tugged on her ear and I lost it.

Before I went into the show, I got there early and asked the stage door handler if she ever came out. He said she usually left out the front entrance, so I knew not to go to the stage door. After the show, I shot down and waited outside the entrance in front of the big, black truck with the driver outside waiting - if I have taught you all anything, it is that this is the indicator that someone important is coming out of the theatre. ALWAYS LOOK FOR THE CAR/DRIVER.

I asked the driver if Carol usually signed stuff and he gave one of those whaaaaa?! Carol who?! Types of answers, as if we didn’t know who was going to be in that car. Anyway, he saw me shaking and winked at me and kind of did a nod, as if maybe she might.

So, Carol comes out and the autograph vultures swarm (they’re the worst - the people who don’t see the shows, just want autographs to sell online. Ugh) Anyway she gets into her car and as the door is closing she looks out at us and I scream, “THANK YOU!!” at her. Then you hear her go, “wait” to her driver and she rolls down the window.

Carol Burnett then looks me dead in the eye and says, “no, thank you.” And I’m like, “thank you, thank you, you’re such an inspiration, thank you!” And she goes, “you’re so sweet! Thank you, really!”

And then some guy asks for a photo and she says yes, but through the window. So I quickly turn in front of the car and she looks right at my phone, even though three other people are doing the same, and I get the photo and turn and thank her, AGAIN. And she blows me a kiss and rolls up the window.

I don’t know how many of you know this, but Carol Burnett has been a role model of mine for a very long time. The Carol Burnett show is my all-time favourite show. I’ve seen all of her and Julie Andrews’ specials. I’ve read all of her books. I’ve seen all of her films. I played her in my senior year fall showcase where we recreated famous comedy skits from old shows - my director specifically put in a Carol Burnett one for me, cause she knew how much I loved her. We did the Went With the Wind skit, if you were wondering. I also went after the role of Dotty/Clackett in Noises Off because Carol played her in the movie (and to this day, that is by far my favourite of any role I’ve ever had). When I was 14 I harassed my dad until he ordered me the volumes of her show (pictured) and I wrote her fan letters.

I don’t even think I can begin to explain how amazing it was to even see her live, but to then have her be so gracious and sweet when she was leaving? I don’t think you understand how much all that meant. I don’t think I’m capable of putting words to it, honestly.