No Forests on Flat Earth is a masterpiece of efficient storytelling. It argues that thousands of years ago, the planet was covered by a layer of forests where the trees sprouted for miles into the atmosphere. You know, as if the planet was subtly trying to signal to the cosmos that it had super-inadequacy issues. Some unknown cataclysm in the biosphere then came along and wiped out these gigantic specimens, leaving us stuck with the piss-poor imitations that you can see outside your window.
Obviously, extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof and, luckily, we have that in spades.
That’s Devil’s Tower in Wyoming. Some shills in Big Geology would have you believe that’s a natural rock formation known as a ‘butte’. However, the folks over at YouTube University for the Woke AF have news for you: it’s actually an ancient petrified tree stump because…well, it looks like a big tree stump.
At our best guess, 90% of this movie’s runtime (nearly two motherfucking hours!) is spent idly alternating between pictures of tree stumps, pictures of suspicious-looking rock formations, and pictures of our beautiful planet before we came along to pollute it with No Trees on Flat Earth. The video also challenges viewers to name two differences between tree stumps and rock formations that don’t have anything to do with size and material type, as if those are just inconsequential details in their theory. Adorable!
- Lolly to get out of psych, she did not deserve that at all ;(
- Low key don’t want Deya to shoot/do?? Idk, it’s just she has a daughter and everything and there’s no way she’ll be getting out any time soon if she murders a CO. On the contrary, I hate this CO…
- Piper and Alex to sort their shit out. I mean c'mon. They’re on and off all the time it’s getting boring. Anyone could easily predict they’ll probably split up then get back together again in season 5.
- Okay so, the CO who raped Doggett. He needs to go. Nothing more to say about this.
- Enough with Healy’s backstory already. I get we’re supposed to feel sorry for him, and I do. I just don’t understand where we stand with his character? His story has dragged for so long and nothing ever positive really happens for him? It’s getting to the point where I really sympathise with him but I just don’t really care for his character, if you get me? I feel bad for saying it but..
- I don’t want Soso to be depressed ;( I really don’t. Something mega positive better happen for her this season.
- On a side note, I want something mega positive to happen for Taystee this season too.
- All the old COs to come back and sort this shit out. I don’t know how, just make it happen. I never realised how much I’d miss those guys…
- You all know what I’m gonna say about Piscatella.
- Okay, Stella can come back but I don’t want her to intervene with any close relationships at all. By that I mean Piper/Alex and Nicky/Lorna. I don’t how and for what good reason she could come back, I know she probably will but what I’m saying is I appreciate Ruby Rose and would not mind at all seeing her on the screen, I just don’t want ANOTHER reason to hate this character…
- I don’t care about Linda and Caputo’s relationship, I’m sorry I just don’t.
- Side note from that, it’s getting obvious to me that Linda is one of the bad guys. I suspect she’ll do something to fuck the prison over.
- Lorna to get help for her mental instability, y'know, actual help that’s gonna be useful, aside from all the comfort and that.
- She states to Nicky “He’s gonna leave me cause of it, then what’ll it do?” I’m saying this now, if any of these fucked up COs throw her into psych I’LL BAWL MY FUCKING EYES OUT.
- Nicky needs help with her drug problem. I love Nicky, she’s my favourite character but in season 4 she was really out of character. As much as it’s great to have her back, it looks like she’s falling into a spiral of depression and self-hatred ;( she deserves something/someone that’ll make her happy.
- If she overdoses and dies I will scream and cry as much as I did when Poussay died.
- More scenes of Nicky and Lorna, not arguing, just happy as their usual selves pretty please ;/
- Those white supremacy racist bitches. I hate them. The only way I’ll get back to truly liking Piper again is if she finds the courage to break it up before it expands. We know Piper did not initially intent to create a group of white racists, but it’s her responsibility, at the end of the day…
- JEEZ I HOPE SUZANNE IS OKAY
- Please, no more inmate deaths this season.. Unless it’s like, a character we’re supposed to hate then by all means, go ahead. But otherwise, my heart can’t take it.
- A little less of Judy King this season please.
- BENNETT COME BACK GOD DAMMIT.
(This is all I thought of so far, I’ll probably think of more when I rewatch the season and update this. I really enjoyed season 4 and I hate faith season 5 will be great. There’s just a few things I don’t want to see in that season…)
All right people, LISTEN UP! It’s Black Friday. So, while some people are off trampling their way through the big-box stores to get presents for a lot of people, those of us who work as online artists and artisans often go with empty inboxes. In an effort to help fix that, and also to spread the word around about all our shops in time for Cyber Monday or tomorrow’s Small Business Saturday, I’ve created this post.
Here’s what to do:
Got a small business, preferably an online one? Grab this post and reblog it. Just add a link to your shop, maybe a description and 2-3 pictures of your work. I’ll be grabbing this post and reblogging it around every so often as well, which means you’re quickly going to get exposure to hundreds, if not thousands of people.
Don’t have a small business or anything like that? REBLOG THE HELL OUT OF THIS POST ANYWAYS- help spread the word and support your artist-y type friends.
That’s it. It’s that simple. I’ll include my own shop as a smple in the first reblog.