big cats with boxes

I saw other people’s friends saying hi! This is Maggie, an emotional support kitty. She lives to give kisses and get tummy rubs. She thinks it’s great that the stickies go to high places just like her!

Hello Maggie! 😊🐸🐱😊

What excellent climbing! Gumby and Voigt are very impressed! 🐸🐸

They can see you are wearing your beautiful pink ears of courage today, and they send you a big smile and a box of delicious cat treaties!

Remember the Sparkly Shit

TL;DR:  The big thing is caring about the little things.  Remember the sparkly shit.

This isn’t the normal sort of thing I post, and some random person on the internet who says snarky things about clothes is not your first go-to for relationship advice.  So this isn’t advice.  This is just what I notice.  And it’s not about snog-partner relationships only, it’s about human relationships.  

Take a moment to pick out the most telling phrase in this conversation.  

It’s not “make my baby happy,” although the fact that he doesn’t say “I don’t want her to be mad at me” or “I want her to forgive me” or even “say I’m sorry,” is extremely telling, because those are all about him and how she feels about him, and he just wants to make her feel happy about something, whatever it is.  She may very well still be mad at him, but she’ll be happy.  

It’s “I remember she said.”

He remembers a random comment, probably made to the cousin and not even to him, about a substance he knows nothing about.  He remembered a very little thing that she liked.  That is a big thing.

Trust me, with most women, showing up with some random sparkly shit you remember she said she liked will get you so much further than a bouquet of roses or whatever.  Those say “I want you to not be mad at me.”  And that can mean “I feel terrible when you’re mad at me,” or they can mean “look, if I give you the stupid flowers like some Hugh Grant character will you stop slamming doors?”  The point is, he doesn’t have to deal with her being mad at him.

Sparkly shit, latest book by her favorite author, something she mentioned wanting but didn’t buy for whatever reason, a favorite food (a small favorite snack or candy is always a good addition to other options), her favorite animal (be careful with that one, maybe go with a symbolic stuffed one), whatever little thing will make her happy.  Or him, because because I’ve done this with male friends and it works.  The food thing is great with guys.  With boyfriends you can indeed show up in red scanties and take it from there.  

Can’t think of anything you can get fast enough, or afford?  Get a giant-ass, neon-green, stuffed, sparkly unicorn and slap a cheap plastic Batman mask and a sombrero on it for good measure.  Show up in a funny costume (avoid anything kinky here, unless this is your version of the red scanties thing).  Whatever will make her laugh, or at the very least see that you are trying here.  You are thinking of her.  That is the big thing.

Really truly broke, or maybe the laugh thing didn’t work?  Text a picture of the sink empty of all the dishes you just washed.  Her freshly-washed car.  All I want out of life most days is somebody who will scoop my cat’s box, take out the trash, and do my dishes. Whoever her somebody is, become that somebody. 

For so many women I know and have seen on the internet, that bastion of truth, Mr. Darcy the tall, dark, brooding, rich guy is not the fantasy.  Mr. Darcy the guy who makes problems go away just to make a girl’s life not suck is the fantasy.  If he comes in a tall, dark, brooding, rich package, hey, bonus!  But the important thing is he makes her life not suck.  And he makes it not suck not because he wants her to owe him a marriage, or even want to marry him, he doesn’t even want her to know he does it, he just wants to make her life not suck.  That is the big thing.  

I’m serious, guys, unexpectedly scooping my cat box is one of the most romantic things you could do for me.  That right there is caring.  

That is the big thing.  The big thing is caring about the little things.  The Prodigal Cousin cares enough about his girlfriend to remember she likes some sparkly shit, and even if it takes him into the depths of Sephora and requires the assistance of two other women, by god, he is going to go forth and get her that sparkly shit.  He cares enough about her to remember she likes something he doesn’t care about at all.  He remembers little things about her, because making her happy is the big thing.  

Do not save this for fixing problems.  Do not reserve it for romantic entanglements.  All people know you care about them when you care about the little things, and it helps prevent or alleviate problems if that caring is firmly established to begin with.  A friend picked me up from the airport and there was a hershey’s almond bar on the seat–he remembered I like the almond ones.  That, more than the chocolate bar, or even the ride home from the airport, was a “you are my friend” signal.  A group of friends and I have a mutual support group based on sharing cute or funny animal videos with each other on facebook, and with every panda falling off a wall or whatever, we’re telling each other “hey!  This cute animal video made me think of you!” (Especially when the panda falls of the wall.)  

Post funny crap on their facebook walls. Remember people’s favorite candies and randomly show up with them.  Offer them a ride home from work. Do your roommate’s dishes so they can study that night.  Change the oil on their car. Scoop that stupid cat box. Text before something stressful to check on them.  Text after to see how it went.  Offer to fight that jerk who keeps double parking over their spot every damn day. Ask if they’ve eaten recently. Know when a rough day at work or school is coming and have breakfast or snacks or flowers or little encouraging notes and jokes on their desks when they wake up or get to work.  Or make/buy them lunch to take with them.  Dinner so they don’t have to when they get home.  

Because food is caring.  “Here, you like this food.”  “Here, you have not eaten enough food today.”  “Here, I have made, procured, or microwaved food so you don’t have to.”  You know why women think men who can cook are so great?  You know why we want to keep friends and boyfirends around who’ll make sure there’s food for us after a long day, whether it’s take out on the couch or their secret-recipe quiche on a candle-lit table?  Because it means we don’t have to.  They care enough to give us both food and nothing to do.  Having nothing to do makes our lives not suck for a bit.  Nothing is a big thing.  

The big thing is caring about the little things.

Remember that sparkly shit.

thathighclassbitch  asked:

So I bought a hamster 3 months ago and am still having trouble kind of taming him. That's besides the point, but he has a small cage you can get at every pet store. Now I read your post and I have two of those big ikea boxes. But do you leave the top off and leave the hamster all open and exposed? I want to give him more space, but I'm also worried, since I own FIVE cats and never thought about the whole space thing. (He is in my room, but cats sometimes sneak upstairs, of course)

The big Samla boxes are a good alternative for a petstore cage. :)

I suggest putting a lid on the box. Or connecting both boxes and make two mesh lids. Please make sure the ikea box is the biggest one there is because there are smaller versions as well and they aren’t suitable.

I bought a critter trail and realized they are dangerous. What do I do? 

What can I do with little money to improve the quality of life for my hamster(s)?

Where can I get suitable and cheap supplies? (Ikea Masterpost)

Samla: What to do with the Samla lid

You can also look at the DIY section in our faq. :) 

Good luck!